posted July 31, 2016 07:57 AM            

and if I had to choose it would be the residue of something unhappy

it's like I always see someone sitting on the chair we have on the kitchen, next to my mom, and same in the living room, it's sitting on the couch

I don't know it's weird, I don't consider myself someone to see these kind of things or what but it's like it's always there hahaha

posted July 31, 2016 08:03 AM            

Well, not i donīt think he realized that I "liked" him (maybe more than just his performances), mostly because I played it real tight to my chest.

I could imagine though that maybe he has or is in the process of realizing it now, also because of my changed communication habit, as I did not really communicate with him that much before.

So yeah, while me appearing there is just a very normal thing (many viewers do that), but IF he has started to think about that (me liking him), certain normal things might not seem just as random anymore I guess.

makes me want to run and hide to be honest. But thats what I`ve always done.

And so no to the blue shirt.

So 3 more questions?

1. How would he feel if he really knew I liked him?

2. How will this "suspicion" about me influence his acting towards me on the week after that, on the "Get together"?

3. so no to the blue one, but what about the red shirt i have in mind either with

a) grey jeans
b) black trousers?

Let me know if this is too much!

Oh and let me know any more questions.

BTW your cards were

Well I was wrong actually it is a woman in the 5 of cups and the 8 of swords looks a tad different than usually

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posted July 31, 2016 08:04 AM            

10 of swords - 4 of swords - Page of Swords

mmh, seems like something might be coming up to prevent this?

Though the cards are suspiciously dramatic, so I donīt know, maybe they are just off.

However I pulled with normal tarot and got

Page of Swords - Page of Wands - Death

With Death coming up, also pointing to a no, maybe some harsh words exchanged, fiery temper flaring up before? Or having somewhere else to go?

Lenormand said:

Child - Bear - Moon

posted July 31, 2016 08:11 AM            

okay so here go ur Qs:

1. knight of cups fell - 7 of Pents - 5 of swords
Of course he would feel good, he would feel warm and thos butterflies would be there, but on the other side he would feel bad because he can't do anything about it. a lot of thinking and analyzing about it, like "whT if we were together", but even on thinking that he would feel defeated

2. 10 of wands - 3 of wands - devil
I think he would TRY to act normal, but would at the same time start giving u some hints to see how you react to them. I don't get much else out of this spread

posted July 31, 2016 08:38 AM            

Uoh, the 5 of swords alarm me for a completely different reason than what you might think.
Just because for me it has always come up for very straightforward honest blunt "cut the games and call a spade a spade" kind of communication.

In fact I remember some years ago when seeing him somewhere the 5 of swords would come up as daily card, and no matter how often I repulled or tried online oracles, it was always the 5 of swords coming up.

I remember 3 things from that day.

1. had a discussion (I initiated it) with a guy from the staff about something they had said but didn`t quite deliver, or just something that they had not done right, or thought about before, and I had pointed it out quite directly - which is unusual for me, as I usually would just say: Just forget about it.

Thing is I did not even WANT anything out of it, I just wanted to be clear about it, state it as clearly as possible, but did so from a place of goodwill actually, not really being upset or annoyed. I donīt even KNOW today why I did it.

It ended up with the guy giving me his private email address telling me to mail him as he would think about how to compensate. LOL

I never got around mailing him, and was very surprised about his action - and it never even crossed my mind that he maybe just tried to keep in contact with me. I am not that bright when it comes to myself.

2. People were flocking to me. Well actually I asked two women, mother and daughter, at the backstage thingie, after the musical "three musketeers" of all musicals. lol, if I might join their table as there was no free table left. Something I wouldn`t do usually either, as I would always be afraid I might bother someone.

However from then on, it was really like people were flocking to me, well the two women felt rather entertained by me as it seems, but also I remember this one actor (A french playing an English man on stage. lol in a musical that plays in France. He was cute though), circling our table all the time, and I noticed that but did not realize why. Not until I accidentally dropped my jacket and he was instantly at my side to give it back to me and exchange a few words with me.

A few minutes after just polite talking (and what is it that I let the actors come to ME instead of the other way round? ), the one who had played Queen Anna came to our table, as the two women wanted her autograph, and she gave it to them and wanted to leave, though hesitatingly though (you know people who seem to want to leave but you can feel they do not really want to, just donīt know a good reason to stay?), anyway I said something that apparently hit a nerve and she ended up chatting with us for quite a while. WEll with me, mostly.

3. P apparently had not really intended to participate at that backstage thing at that time, but for some reason decided otherwise and appeared very belated.
Of course at that time we woouldn`t acknowledge each other, but yes, he HAD to take his position, right in my back, leaning against the bar, with a possible view on me (well my backside. lol not that this is such a sight!) and holding court with his female admirerers.

And when I say in my back, I mean like 1-2 metres behind-beside me.

I mostly did not pay that much attention, though it felt really awkward. Still at one point I was leaning back, turning to the bar, to get another drink (they were for free), and well for a short moment we were looking at each other and STILL able to not really acknowledge each other. WE are able to ignore each other while standing right in front of each other and looking at each other, I donīt know, must be our Venus in Capricorn pokerface. It felt like a battle of wills to be honest, or an asessing of the other maybe.
Anyway I turned back to my table and kept on talking with others.

However I more and more felt like I wanted to leave, and at that point HE apparently decided to leave as well. And I suddenly was very clear about if I didnīt say at least "Hi" to him on that occasion, it was a final goodbye. And there would always be this vague feeling of something unresolved.

I realized that I didnīt want this vagueness to continue, it was maybe mainly my fault, but just didn`t want this gameplaying anymore, I didnītw ant to come across as avoidant, evasive, couldnīt deal with that bizarre, surreal non-interactive interaction anymore. I wanted to get out of the corner I had manoervered myself into. And if this was a final goodbye, I wanted it to be a clear one, somehow bringing this connection back to a normal level, acting like a grown up (me).

So I did re-approach him in the hall. Or that is not really true, I had made the decision to do so, but he was in a chat with someone from the press, and well, I was buttoning up my coat as I remember, a little hesitant if I should really wait and approach him. You know for pride reasons. and out of my own insecurity.

And the exit with the glass doors looked more and more tempting, and just when I had reconsidered and wanting to leave (last exit so to speak ), he apparently had ended his talk and suddenly was standing right in front of me. I was actually confused, cause I had not been aware of him coming over. Seemed like he just materialized right in front of me, effectively blocking the tempting exit-door with his back.
and when I say right in front of me, I mean like pretty much right in my personal distance zone. He has the habit to do that with me. Though not with others curiously as I noticed.

So we had a bit of a chat, very short, and I ended it and left (I always end our chats and am the one to leave curiously).

But I remember how baffled and almost startled but also touched I felt because of his attentiveness to me, kindness and warmth. And surprised by how much it felt like he actually had been WAITING for this. Maybe it`s just his personality.
But I remember during this chat he pretty much ordered me to create a facebook profile. LOL

Anyway it was not a big thing, but it was a very clear decision I made that day, and it changed our interaction. Definitely.

So that was my biggest 5 of swords experience. lol

But of course I totally can see how he would feel defeated or powerless, if he knew I liked him and liked me back but was not allowed to like me back. If that is what is going on....

posted July 31, 2016 08:49 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilypad18:

well, I might be off with the cards actually and he may not even realize it, so don't either trust the cards too hard

---

I donīt think I did anything to be TOO obvious.
But he seems to have started thinking, so who knows?

Maybe it`s time to get it out of the way anyway. Or maybe not.

For me I am content with things as they are, a casual friendly interaction is nice. We are probably both surprised at how easy and playful our banter gets WHEN we actually communicate, how similiar we are thinking.

Anyway I just learned that his best friend will host the concert after the Get together on 12th august, whcih is sort of almost a little surreal to me. Well not that surprising, he is his best friend after all.

But just because during those podcasts I of course was chatting to the friend as well. (I donīt really know how that happend, really, just one word leading up to the other. Maybe because both of them feel as familiar to me as they actually could have come from my personal background, leading me to at least in internet terms communicating with them like I would with my father or brother, as they have such similiar ways of thinking and communicating; it sometimes felt like we werenīt even strangers at all. But internet is internet, real life is something different. Well I actually wonder if his friend is aware that we went to uni together. lol
well not "together" but at the same time studying the same subject.

posted July 31, 2016 09:58 AM            

Ceri, damn u were right, my family ain't going to the beach because it's too hot outside for my lil baby cousin

so I have a q, I was thinking about going to my grandmas house and do a lil photo shoot for my lil cousin which my aunt always asked me to do

posted July 31, 2016 11:57 AM            

Which is not really what the 5 of swords is about in conventional interpretations, and I do get the conventional interpretation, the feeling of defeat, powerless etc.
I guess there WAS an acknowledgement of this powerlessness and defeat in those situations, too. Even when I reapproached P. I admitted defeat in a way, raising the white flag, throwing up my hands in the air as if to say: That`s it. I know I can`t keep this up like this anymore. So yes I AM defeated, I am at an end of my wits. There needs to be a change in approach.

I donīt know why it turned out so constructively.

Well of course then it was not that constructive right away as i was disappearing for some months again, and he must have been gotten aware shortly after our meeting that he was going to be a father. (she must have gotten pregnant about 3-4 weeks before we met - and well he later told an aquaintance of mine that he was less than enthusiastic about that, as the timing was just less than fortunate, so early into the relationship he apparently did not want to have a child, but well we all have to adapt to circumstances in real life, we have not foreseen nor really wished for).

I actually reappeared about 6-7 months after that meeting on an open air (after having gone through my resignation period and just putting that particular book on the shelf. ), and he reacted quite strongly to my reappearance, nonverbally, but seriously, I have never been checked out so visibly from stage before.
It was just a weird instinctive reaction to seeing me I guess, and well, even though I had lost weight before, it was during those months that it got REALLY visible, and he noticed and he kind of liked that, I guess. lol
Though truth be told, they always tell you that you don`t change if you are losing weight, your personality that is, but that has not been true in my case. I certainly act differently now than I did before.
In my case it also coincided with opening up more, for some reason. Slow gradual process, but yes, I certainly am acting different (I am not a different person, but I can allow parts of my personality come out more easily now, I guess pr Moon in Leo helps, too. ).

But yeah well, 5 of swords is never a good sign in a reading, I totally get that. But it seems to make for clarity too, and maybe the unpleasant realization that things are changing, even though you may not want it. Unfortunately it often means you lose something or make someone else lose. The fight is never pleasant. But in my case in my discussion with the pupils or even in reapproaching him, it led to a new path that was more realistic, even though thorny of course.

"Ceri, damn u were right, my family ain't going to the beach because it's too hot outside for my lil baby cousin"
Ahh, that is where the baby came in!

posted July 31, 2016 12:11 PM            

Queen of Cups (Magician)
4 of swords (Palace of Coin)
King of swords

Well I think it would go pretty nicely. There`s a lot of creativity in the first two cards, and the 4 of swords and Palace of Coin might point to the baby sleeping?lol
But more seriously, seems like a relaxed comfortable thing all in all.
Not sure about the King of sword though.

the evening in general

Wheel (2 of wands)
Palace of Cups (Knight of Cups)
Page of Coins (Queen of Cups)

I think the evening should go smoothly, even though there might be something unpredictabel or unforeseen happening at the beginning, some choice being presented.
However all these Cup cards make me think of a lot of emotional connecting, maybe even with a child (Page of Coins).

posted July 31, 2016 02:59 PM            

there was no photoshoot

howrver u where accurate at how the evening went, smooth hahaha

posted July 31, 2016 03:02 PM            

-also, do u see T actually talking to me just for the sake of talking this august?

posted August 01, 2016 05:15 AM            

1)How is the present real life connection between them?

2) how will my emotional state be, how will I feel after coming home from my trip (meaning how would the experiences there, whatever they might be, affect me emotionally?)

posted August 01, 2016 05:22 AM            

your august:

Clover - Mice - CLOUDS - letter - Sun

Well in the centre there is confusion and lack of clarity, maybe also some storm-clouds, but this is a temporary situation.

I think that the first half of august will be a bit difficult, not desastrous, but you will be plagued by doubts, worries, anxiety, nervousity, maybe you will also experience a loss of something, something crumbling away, but it could be that this is due to your worried mindset only!

This might also have to do with a confusing vague message, or even a message that sort of got lost.

However then at the mid of august things suddenly clear up and get really really bright, there will apparently be news or a message which brings you very unexpected overnight success. Or a comunication will take place that will clear up all confusion and make you happy.

posted August 01, 2016 05:30 AM            

Cross - Birds - Man - Scythe - Bouquet

Hmm difficult spread, quite dramatic.

Well as I see it this is very much about T, the man is in the centre.
There might be some difficulties/ hardship involved with talking, maybe even coming to a crossroad. I see it as either rather hard conversations (or just very intense ones, putting some cards on the table) or a cutting off of communication.

However then it seems like the man (T) makes a fast decision and will approach you, and doing so in a very positive way, with the Bouqzet maybe even invite you to something.

posted August 01, 2016 05:35 AM            

Ring - clover - LADY - man - garden

Woah, planning to get married this month?

Seriously though, this spread is all about you, and as we see you are next to a man, so yes you will meet someone, a man, maybe a new man, or maybe someone you know, anyway with clover mirroring I think it will be a chance meeting. Ring and garden also speaks of social events, meeting up with people, and maybe even starting a relationship or connection, but with Clover and Garden it seems to be initial stages and I donīt know how lasting this would be (clover is too often temporary).

posted August 01, 2016 06:11 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Lily,

your august:

Clover - Mice - CLOUDS - letter - Sun

Well in the centre there is confusion and lack of clarity, maybe also some storm-clouds, but this is a temporary situation.

I think that the first half of august will be a bit difficult, not desastrous, but you will be plagued by doubts, worries, anxiety, nervousity, maybe you will also experience a loss of something, something crumbling away, but it could be that this is due to your worried mindset only!

This might also have to do with a confusing vague message, or even a message that sort of got lost.

However then at the mid of august things suddenly clear up and get really really bright, there will apparently be news or a message which brings you very unexpected overnight success. Or a comunication will take place that will clear up all confusion and make you happy.

So first half of august, maybe a little difficult due to you worrying about a confusing or absent message.
Second half of august very very happy, also in relation to a particular communication.

---

hey Ceri, thanks a lot for your readings! I just woke up, so pls give me like 20 min to fully wake up and do yours, Can u please explain ur 1st question a lil? I didn't really understand it

for the August thing, do u felt strongly that the message could come from T? because I'm actually waiting on the professor from the drivers license to call me and tell me I can do the practices, that would really make me 100 times happier than T calling hahahah
but it's actually almost the same thing that u told me the first time u read for me on August, hahahaha I really hope the good message comes from the professor

posted August 01, 2016 07:04 AM            

I think this trip will be really good for you. You'll come home re-energized, you'll be fully relaxed and ready to take on whatever challenge comes to you. Is even say you'll have another approach to everything, more innocent, more eager to start new things, more happy, etc. The Sun here points to being happy to come home, but with the next card I'd say you'll be like, happy to be home, but when ur responsibilities at home start to kick in, it won't be that great. don't know if I'm explaining myself hahahah it's like you'll be happy to be home until you see all the responsibilities u have in ur life and compare it to how fun the trip was. You'll probably keep on fantasizing about the trip for a lil bit more time. But overall this is the word: re-energized. The trip will remind you how to live life to its fullest, the spark of life.

3) 10 of swords - page of wands - 5 of pentacles
I think you will meet people, but you will only have contact with those people the first time u meet. As in, chatting a lil with someone u just met and never seeing them again. Don't see potential in those meetings, it's like something quick, that don't last, but the little it lasts you have fun.

posted August 01, 2016 07:35 AM            

I was thinking of both possibilities actually, T could deliver a message, but then there was the thought: what if it comes from an official source?
So maybe that is that!

Just forget my first question, I guess I do not have any business to ask about that!

Can I exchange it against this one?

1) What will P think about my "philosophical fantasizing"?

(someone on his page asked why "Jesus" was having a rose painted on his chest, and I elaborated on MY ideas about it, even though admitting that i of course have NO clue. Just some thoughts, but I love philosophizing, so I couldn`t keep that inside. lol)

posted August 01, 2016 08:12 AM            

I'm really happy u liked the readings, the first one had really positive energy

brb with the question you last posted!