posted June 14, 2021 03:06 PM            

My Chart:
https://ibb.co/cCHRCxf

posted June 16, 2021 02:53 PM            

Our only mission at the moment is to help our daughter be treated. Neither of us is working. This is our full-time job.

I agree that everything is subjective and my observations regarding my gf´s autistic behaviors are also subjective. However, there are facts that I have been seeing and continue to see that are undeniable signs of autism.

Say that I don´t see any signs in my gf, family tree or me/my family tree...I would be relieved. Why? it would mean that the chances that our daughter has it are next to none. I would love this scenario.

Regarding my daughter being cuddly and smiling etc, it's not just with me that her behavior changed but also towards her mother. She doesn´t smile, make eye contact even when breastfeeding, etc.

posted June 16, 2021 03:07 PM            

OMG... what you said? with your moving to Brazil, and language barrier??? a bit? is exact to the description of your daughter's Moon opp Saturn aspect!! This blows me away...

I see that you're taking this as a 'medical' problem? .. Assuming she plays a 'sick' role.
I see in Social Trends in mental health, the tendency and emphasis on pop-psychology to see childhood behaviors in more 'sick' light, than just a kid going through 'what they go through'... Interpreting everything as something OFF in the child, and parents take a very emotionally DETACHING stance with the child when that is occurring .. oh my. The charts describe the child's reaction to being emotionally~semi-rejected and alone. (don't know if I'm using the right words for that).

You are thinking that the child is abnormal not making the early 'baby' reactions with mother and child bonding at the breast.

Is there a reason she is still breast feeding at 2 years old?

Perhaps with the child being a 'toddler' now, rather than small baby, she might be giving you both 'clues' that she's ready to be weaned?

I remember my first baby weaned her 'own' self at 9 months old. I was soooo disappointed! LOL. That represented a "loss" inside of me, bringing a subconscious feeling of being 'rejected.'

The other daughter (a Taurus) was still breast feeding at 14 months, and I had to get her weaned...

YIKES... more lightning.
Sorryyyyyy gotta go.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Eswar:
Hey Mirage,
Thank you for your response.
We are currently in Brazil (the country of the mother). We tried to live in Sweden during the last year but the mother couldn´t adjust to a new country and made our relationship much worse. I agreed to move to Brazil although I don´t have a job or any other ties other than my daughter and paying for all the expenses from my pocket. The mother doesn´t have a job and therefore no health insurance in Brazil.

Our only mission at the moment is to help our daughter be treated. Neither of us is working. This is our full-time job.

I agree that everything is subjective and my observations regarding my gf´s autistic behaviors are also subjective. However, there are facts that I have been seeing and continue to see that are undeniable signs of autism.

Say that I don´t see any signs in my gf, family tree or me/my family tree...I would be relieved. Why? it would mean that the chances that our daughter has it are next to none. I would love this scenario.

Regarding my daughter being cuddly and smiling etc, it's not just with me that her behavior changed but also towards her mother. She doesn´t smile, make eye contact even when breastfeeding, etc.

---

posted June 16, 2021 05:25 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dumuzi:
autism is a spectrum, your daughter is young now give things time there are people with high functioning autism spectrum issues who are very capable of forming relationships (even good ones) with people in their lives

they have difficulties but that doesn't mean everything is doomed

---

posted June 16, 2021 05:32 PM            

Breastfeeding acts as a pacifier for my daughter, I believe. It is not much about the milk since she eats all kinds of food quite well. I suppose, she gets the safety, the touch, etc from breastfeeding that she needs.

quote:

---

Originally posted by mirage29:
Thanks for response..
Lightning storm almost over.
My battery backup on computer turned on to save what I had done earlier. yay.

OMG... what you said? with your moving to Brazil, and language barrier??? a bit? is exact to the description of your daughter's Moon opp Saturn aspect!! This blows me away...

I see that you're taking this as a 'medical' problem? .. Assuming she plays a 'sick' role.
I see in Social Trends in mental health, the tendency and emphasis on pop-psychology to see childhood behaviors in more 'sick' light, than just a kid going through 'what they go through'... Interpreting everything as something OFF in the child, and parents take a very emotionally DETACHING stance with the child when that is occurring .. oh my. The charts describe the child's reaction to being emotionally~semi-rejected and alone. (don't know if I'm using the right words for that).

You are thinking that the child is abnormal not making the early 'baby' reactions with mother and child bonding at the breast.

Is there a reason she is still breast feeding at 2 years old?

Perhaps with the child being a 'toddler' now, rather than small baby, she might be giving you both 'clues' that she's ready to be weaned?

I remember my first baby weaned her 'own' self at 9 months old. I was soooo disappointed! LOL. That represented a "loss" inside of me, bringing a subconscious feeling of being 'rejected.'

The other daughter (a Taurus) was still breast feeding at 14 months, and I had to get her weaned...

YIKES... more lightning.
Sorryyyyyy gotta go.

---

posted June 16, 2021 06:20 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Eswar:
I don´t know how much you know about Autism. There is a laundry list of "red flags" and "stereotypical behaviors" of autism. If a child shows one or two of them, yes! you would be right that I am reading too much into it. When a child starts to show many of those red flags, one needs to start to pay attention and act early.

Breastfeeding acts as a pacifier for my daughter, I believe. It is not much about the milk since she eats all kinds of food quite well. I suppose, she gets the safety, the touch, etc from breastfeeding that she needs.

---

Book mentioned that she may be picking up on the atmosphere of stress in your relationship with her mother.

The time you said this child 'changed' and went more within---

Incident?
Had you erupted fiercely with a loud and very violent (even physical) outburst in front of the child, aimed towards her mother during that time you noted 'a change' suddenly occur with her?

Getting some couples counseling to lower the animosity, might help you gain trust from this child again.

In a violent outburst, maybe she was more-vulnerable and now suddenly is afraid of you? Locked-up inside for all the anger in the place. Even if you speak in nice tones, children can still sense the rage (and sudden rejection) you hold for her refusing to engage with you?
Perhaps you didn't 'mean' to scare her?
You and her mother merely had an overdue fierce outburst?
(your natal Mars H1 square Saturn H5)

Transits: you have MANY multiple transits any of which 'alone' could cause an OVER amount of pent up frustrations --

posted June 16, 2021 10:07 PM            

“This behavior may embarrass and frustrate parents, but an unwillingness to share is perfectly normal at this age! In Tuning In, ZERO TO THREE’s national parent survey, 43% of parents surveyed thought that children should be able to master sharing by age 2. In fact, these skills develop between 3.5 to 4 years old. Knowing what to expect can help parents manage their expectations and their frustration when they see children having difficulty with turn-taking.”

http://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1964-helping-young-children-with-sharing

posted June 18, 2021 06:18 PM            

He reports that he lives in the home with mother and daughter, and wasn't getting along well with the mother.

He gave further indications that his anger and frustration levels were up so high, that he considers 'leaving them'.

He accuses the mother,
and mother's extended family
of multiple displays of mental illness,
and for now considers even 'blaming the child'.

Consequences

From indications in the Father's Chart,
and child's natal --
especially considering that the child (at around 18 mos) went from being happy loving and accepting of him -- to suddenly "shunning" outside contacts,,,
I would want to know
"what happened in the Home (H4)"
during that time she went from open, to closed?

Is there any way he could have scared and emotionally "triggered" her? Caused her to feel unsafe?

Surely it wasn't "deliberate" on his part--
as he is soo frustrated with the mother and condition of joblessness at this time.

Is this little family needing to depend on 'the relatives' of the mother for some housing or temporary relief, resource-wise?

That's a terribly TOUGH position for a native India-culture "man" (living among the more passionate expressive South American culture) to be in?

Stepped into a Tradition!!
The Man as Provider.
They did not choose abortion (religion).

He fell in love, and produced a surprise baby so LATE on his journey, put a crimp on his freedom. Has a great responsibility now.
(Is the mother a much younger person?.)

Brazil, along with sooo many other countries, are having economic problems. COVID made people Sick, and having to go into lock-downs, quarantines? Making an income {finding jobs} became even HARDER.
Health insurance .. not as affordable.

INCIDENT: ???
Trigger:

IF Father suddenly (accidently) "happened!!!" to have had one of those "I've had it"!!! kind of violent outburst and displays AT the mother-- and in view or hearing of his daughter at the "wrongggg timing" ..
{maybe even while she was breastfeeding}..

If he happened to blow-up in violent altercation acting-out with a (brief) dramatic display of TEMPER,
... then, that could have even frightened the Mother {{during breastfeeding???}}
... both, giving the CHILD an internal REACTION --

Incident caused the child, to suffer feelings of being unsafe---
in an unstable home-environment.
{natal uranus 4th}.

All it would have taken was one (mistakenly) over-sized fierce dramatic anger display, to electrify the child and 'imprint' a wound onto this child. (Unknowingly by the feuding going on.)

The Child had an imprint moment, a sense of being in danger when he was around, and her psyche shut down to him -- and others for a while.

In a kind of shock,
she may be trying to process
that her environment is not safe
to be open and loving.
.. Closed her WAY down.

He will have to slowly EARN her opening up to love and trust (of him, of the mother, of adults) again?

Her chart indicates that there was a problem in the male female dynamics in her early environment.
. .
She may have a problem with choosing partners that will re-play the energetic dynamics of 'this' time.
May suffer lack of feeling loved and accepted--
(even if that was FAR from being true whatsoever!!)

She's soooo small!
She's sensitive! (Moon Cancer)
Anger was palpable?
Even if he never laid a hand of physical harm to the mother's body or the child, it was the TONE of the home environment?

*~

I've always been sensitive to reactions observed (in public settings) of small children to their caregivers.

I've witnessed it before ---

There's a "certain time window" where the child can make a self-decision, that 'the world isn't safe anymore, and IN that portal, they close-down.

Recent Child Psych STUDIES:
There's good news for children who were being raised in homes where they were feeling/being-treated/ unsafe in their home in earliest years. There IS another "window of time" around age 5 to 6 {around time of going to school}, where the previous 'shut-down' or harmful effects CAN be reversed.
These children can recover.

{I don't remember enough from the professional article to say what played into that.}

My VOLUNTEER Work
Part of a Volunteer job I had, was on same floor as Child Protection social workers who had been assigned by a Judge to visit homes, and observe. They were even known to remove a child, and place the child in the care of relatives, or outside fosters for a while.

There IS Hope for children,
that 'in that certain portal of time'
can heal of damages done to the child's psyche. Grow more healthy. 'Normal' ..

In this case,
as advocate for the child
And,
"because" of markers in the father's chart,
And,
considering rough transits activating the Father's chart for several years coming--

I will gently firmly ask that he consider (on his own)--
whether the sudden withdrawal found in this child's behavior might have been preceded
by a sudden fierce outburst by him?

To consider any of his own behaviors as having led to this shut-down.

Counseling --
if he is having anger-frustration issues, then seeking some anger-management counseling (for a short while) could help him immensely during this especially frustrating time?

I've personally known someone who had frustration and angry impulsive sudden outbursts on the job-- (even to near-physically attacking customers).

Through special programs (assigned by a Judge and his employer) he took a series of anger-management classes and short counseling.
. .
Had only 'one' incident where they made him REPEAT the treatment.
. .
After that period of time, he did VERY well managing his fierce anger-outbreaks (with scary throwing things around the home).
Amazing how the modern counseling treatment the give for that 'works'.

Eswar is having transiting Uranus
conjunct his CHIRON Taurus, in H12/asc.

By Healing your SELF, ..
you heal your Family.

Do it FOR them.
Life is both very long, and short.
Do the Right thing....
She's sooo small.

Make the Daddy-difference
in your Daughter's future Life.