posted November 10, 2005 01:27 AM         

your past enthusiams...your highs and lows...your heartbreaks and aspirations...how my heart has felt for you.{{{ }}}

I want to share some poems with you. They were back from a time not too long ago for me. Mabye they might speak to you better than my other words could just yet. It's a start anyway.

Oracles and orbiting waves
reveal what is already known
All the things his one whisper
would feign to show

There's a hopelessness
within the dawn
And all hope flowing
in a forever song
faintly...just out of ear
Do you hear it?

Couldn't play the game
She couldn't play the game

of life
of smiling
when a frown was felt
of being something
beyond herself;
lost in the moment

They see through her
See through sometimes
the whistful, heavy pain
she loses herself to
at inappropriate times

she was there...then gone
as the song broke through

she couldn't hide the sorrow
from her eyes

"and how are you doing today?"
A curious stranger,
compelled to wonder why
she was there/then gone
where does she go?

Couldn't play the game
She couldn't play the game

Could only hold herself
in her own arms
for so long.

.....

posted November 10, 2005 01:32 AM         

that feeling

over my shoulder;
invading my Soul

I never knew shadows
could be so heavy
My wings flutter
but they're broken

here

Pluck these feathers
one by one
mere adornments
of a wasted sky
outside dirty windows

(I'm dying, you know)

Take my breath into your hands
Shape it into
some dream
that you believe is your right

posted November 10, 2005 01:40 AM         

I want to believe it
All smiles and Sun and Hope~
some kind of brave oblivion
Unaffected
and free of feeling
of judgement
of cruel realizations
that creep beyond
the dark nights
on into the golden dawn.
Not so golden anymore.

Some people see diamonds in the rough
where no others can see,
and isn't that beautiful?
I see diamonds where none exist
I create diamonds from the empty air
Diffusing mirages;infected
leaving me worn, aged and bare
Exposed for my hope
Once again the naive joke

A Fall
A Break
A Crushing Blow

...just dreams, never for me to know.

And you don't smile anymore
And you don't even try
Yet I'm expected to build
a golden vision
from such dark, controlled respite.
Flow onwards and grow
from flowing that's ceased to flow.

Take me Through this River
I Surrender.
I Plea.
Onto strange and empty shores even
I don't care where they be

Just take me away
from another barren day

And I'll flow

I'll go

Crashing into stones
uncaring, unphased

bruises upon bruises
until they no longer show

posted November 10, 2005 01:50 AM         

How silly I was
to have loved thee.
'Silly'
'Foolish',
such forsaking words
diminishing
All that is Truly Beautiful and Magical
into a transient dream.

Yet how foolish
to have dreamt such dreams
and to have wandered there
in golden-green meadows
of elation
reserved only for angels--
not the mere trespassings
of a mortal heart
frozen in a sphere
of time and gravity
and barring cycles
beyond one's control.

how aged I feel
for that path traveled
for having arisen so majestically
only to have crashed
so far down

here

heavy and bruised
tortured with the misery
of awakening to find
that All once held
so Sacred and Pure
was but of the mind

yet of the mind
I could rightly bear
if one mind's vision
had been shared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

posted November 10, 2005 02:13 PM         

If an Aries, desperate with wounded pride, who tried every form of guilt and manipulation and verbal assault to try to destroy my self-esteem to keep me in his control...and more years of an Aquarian Web-Spin Master ....well, if they couldn't destroy my Heart, My Truth; my confidence in who I am...
than nothing and no one Ever could or will.

yes...of course being an eternal romantic, I do long for Romance and Tenderness(among other more passionate things ). But It would take an extrordinary individual indeed to catch my attention and make me believe such things are even possible.

How are you doing today?

off to work now. Take care.