posted February 27, 2009 03:11 PM            

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Yeah, Lexx, last night my hubby and I talked about going into counseling. I just hate the idea. But...if I have to....I've been married 20 years, have 2 sons....

But really I'd rather hit him over the head and say "straighten out! It's you not me!!"

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posted February 27, 2009 03:44 PM            

He brought up the counseling.

posted February 27, 2009 03:50 PM            

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It happened in a day. I remember where I was when the scales fell from my eyes and I have never been the same since

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That's what I'm afraid of..... I worked very hard to get those scales to stick. I may not be completely true to myself as far as living the way I want....but I feel safer this way. Ya know?

posted February 27, 2009 07:10 PM            

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Lexx, You did not offend me, I asked you to come over and comment!!

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I don't have time do go into everything, but I'll be back.

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He brought up the counseling.

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The main riff in my marriage is that he loses his temper quickly any more,

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which is okay....I am willing to address anything that bothers him....but lately he swears and gets very nasty.

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(It may not sound like much, but it's one of the few things I can't take. It makes me feel horrible!

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Mind you I don't yell or swear when I mad, in fact the worst I may do is frown and not talk in my "happy voice."

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I want him to calm down, talk to me,

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and keep personal insults out of it.)

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And...most importantly......
What do you fight about?
What are the personal insults?
And even though unkind, are they in any way valid or even possibly justified....or are they totally out of line and untrue?

posted March 02, 2009 03:09 PM              

I think your family are great. When you mentioned the similar clothing thing that your mother would do, I hung my head in sheepish embarassment. My first two daughters are barely 19 mths apart. They both have Taurus moons conj and while the first is a Leo, the second is Pisces sun in 5th. I hadn't wanted twins, however I did have a dream of two pink baby girls while I was pregnant with the first. I would always tend to get them similar stuff, I just couldn't avoid it and over the years it hasn't bothered them. I would dress the eldest in pink and the other blue. The eldest was a blonde like yourself and the second was slightly darker like your sister. I think what it would be, when I was looking at something to buy, as you do, you find something you like the best, well I didn't have the heart to give the best to one or the other so I would have to resort to the same but in different colours. Even now I still seem to get them the same main christmas present. The year before last a digital camera, last year picnic sets but in different colour themes. For some reason it hasn't bothered them, in fact they seem quite pleased. When they were little although chalk n' cheese in a way, they were pretty much inseparable.

So yeah, for me it was about loving them equally, maybe it was for your mum too. I can't stand tho when twins are dressed in strikingly exactly matched clothing - my girls never seemed to noticeably look like I was trying to twin them, kind of like your pink and blue dress photo - they sort of looked complimentary to one another.

posted March 05, 2009 02:42 PM            

You may suspect that as a Capricorn my father was a big influence in the development to my character and personality….and you would be right. Did you already guess? Dad was a Pisces.
I was a daddy’s girl, I thought dad was the most amazing, wonderful, handsomest and smartest man in the world. Anything dad did, I wanted to do too (he introduced me to astrology), anything dad wanted to talk about I was there, following at heals eager to listen. Long walks discussing the meaning of life, the illusions of reality, the adventures and suffering of his childhood were slowly sculpting the person I was to become. Nothing was taboo to discuss, Pisces have no desire live within boundaries. I was the sponge, soaking it all up. Transforming myself into whatever I thought would be pleasing to him.
Now if you understand the psychology of a Pisces you know how they identify with role of victim. How they feel no one understands them and how they long to find that soul mate who accepts them for what they are without standing in judgment of their flaws (and there are many, because they lack discrimination which leads to all sorts of questionable experiences). It’s a big pill to swallow for many people but when you are raised on a steady diet of gradually increasingly larger pills you it becomes quite easy. Dad needed someone to validate his ideas. He needed someone to give him the sympathy and nurturing he hadn’t received as a child. (He came from a large, poor family, was sexually molested as a child, then at the age of 8 years his mother gave him away to someone else. A man unwanted by his mother is going to have issues.)And there I was, longing to make up for the lack of love, lack of sympathy, lack of understand. Oh!! Why did mom make such demands on dad? ( You know, the kinds of unreasonable demands a wife makes of her husband…..a regular paycheck, faithfulness, etc…..uh,ya). And who better to give a man such unconditional love and admiration than his daughter.

Every Piscean influence in my chart can be traced to dad. Oh yes, every one.

There is another side to Pisces other than victim. Think of Peter Pan who lived in Never Neverland. Fun, eternally youthful, and full of make believe. Who could ask for a better playmate. (And moving EVERY YEAR, with the exception of my sister, he was my most consistent friend). My dad would invent games to play with me and my sister (while mom was busy cooking dinner). He was athletic and the games were kinda rough for little girls………..
……there was this one game called Watch Keeper. Dad would sit at the headboard at the bed with a watch behind his back and we were to sneak or out maneuver him and steal the watch. If we came from different directions he would grab one and throw her in the air to land on the bed then toss the other on the floor, protecting the watch. If we made a direct assault he would give a swift tug to the sheet, hoping to tumble us to the floor. This could sometimes be avoided if we bounced really high (if you are familiar with bed bounces, usually as one person goes up the other is coming down, so while one of us was sacrificed the other might make it to the watch….no mean feat.) All the while we were encouraged to scream and shriek (did I mention we lived in an apartment?), and I can trace my competitiveness to this came……..
…..anyway, dad could not only walk on his hands (ho-hum), but he could do it going up stairs. He taught me how to do flips in the air, back bends (over his back, while he’s on all fours so I don’t fall) and swim like a fish. (where’s mom?….oh ya, she’s doing laundry). Once in while on a birthday we would get money, to buy whatever we wanted. Of course dad drove me to the toys store and while I looked longingly at the Barbies, he’s rattling on about a pair of walkie-talkies he found (lucky me, just in my price range) and how it would take our game of find’em and shoot’em to a whole other level…….
…………….In the 70’s you could buy Star Trek guns that shot out little plastic discs. Two of us would hide anywhere in the house (I remember being about 7 and still fitting inside my parents luggage……was dad mad about that? ….who do you think put me there, saying my sister would never find me) and the other would seek , find and shoot. Unless you could get to home base before being shot you were out. (are there such things as boring days? Not when you’re the daughter of a pisces). ……

…….so, yes, I couldn’t argue that having walkie talkies would take that game to a whole other level. How could I disappoint dad, I knew how important it was for him to play. Barbie had to wait for another day.

So dad was the beginning and end of my fantasy filled childhood, because all this would one day change, the illusions of dad’s wonderfulness shattered and the ugly reality of a man who poses no boundaries would rear it’s ugly head. All coinciding with Saturn’s opposition to itself in my chart. Time for a rude awakening and another facet of Saturn in Pisces and a Capricorn sun.

posted March 09, 2009 11:21 PM            

So I think it's extremely substantial that your husband suggested it....that means a lot, for a man, for a partner, to actually step up to the plate. I think that alone in and of itself shows the good side of Saturn .... and I think you look stunning with your leather jacket and your red sports car. Hell, if I'm alive at 70, I want a Harley. And if I'm single, I want a cute 25 year-old man on that motorcycle with me. And I settled on that fantasy when I was 22!

So I just think your uniqueness and eccentricity is vital to who your are. And maybe with Saturn transiting through your first house, it's more like a dare for your Uranus to start coming out in different ways....ones that are more profound.

posted March 10, 2009 11:57 PM            

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Hell, if I'm alive at 70, I want a Harley. And if I'm single, I want a cute 25 year-old man on that motorcycle with me.

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