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Author Topic:   Heartbroken! Cancer Male Disappeared
uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
ok so basically me and this cancer male hit it off almost immediately. I went up and talked to him at a show. It was very cute how it all happened and he seemed to really enjoy the story as well (as he told all of his friends how we met!)
Anyway, that night we hung out until 6am with some of his friends. He gave me his ear phones since mine had broken and even offered to pay for a cab ride home for me. Texted me that night wishing I had given him a kiss. I just told him anticipation is a good thing.
Next day I stopped by his place for 40 minutes. we really clicked. Ive dated countless guys within the last year and I felt something different with this one. That night I went out to meet up with some friends and he called me later practically begging me to come over and that he would pay for a cab. I didnt as I was with my friends. He randomely called me at 8 am too that next morning. weird.
Next day he invited me to go out to New Jersey with him. I agreed. I thought it would only be for a few hours. When we got to his friends place he made sure to introduce me to everyone and always include me. He was always very sweet and caring toward me. He seemed really into me. That night it was super late by the time we decided to go back into NY so we just stayed there. We slept in the same bed but nothing happened. He tried to kiss me and I told him I didnt want to yet (because my mouth tasted like beer but I didnt tell him that). That night he told me he really wanted to be a part of my life and get close to me. We cuddled the whole night. The next morning he bought me breakfast and was all over me and hugging me. When I went home he let me borrow his brothers jacket because it was raining and offered to drive me home. When I left I hugged him and told him we'll hang out. Hugged his bestfriend too. Since then I have heard nothing from him. Its been 4 days. I have texted him and called him with no response. Im crushed. Hes not the type of guy to be getting a lot of girls either so I'm even more at a loss. Ive dated my fair share if players and he definitely does not seem like the type. He seems very honest. Hes cute to me but I feel very few people would look at him twice bc he comes off as so shy. I dont know what to do. Please help.

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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
Why on earth did you tell him "you'd hang out" :O

I mean you cuddled with him and spent the night and then rebuffed him with "hang out"?

I'm not being mean, just blunt.

WHAT do you want from him exactly, cos he now thinks you don't fancy him

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
I was thinking about that and some of my friends have told me that too. But I have called him and sent him texts! So I think it seems obvious that I like him. What should I do?? I was really nervous and that just what came out of my mouth.

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
What i want from him is to get to know him more and hang out with him more. I really like this guy.

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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
depends on how many texts and what you told him

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
1st text said that he got this song he kept playin in my head.
2nd asked him if he had set out on his way to california ( he was planning on going sometime soon)
3rd said where art thou? I want to tell you something.

he and I had been texting a lot back a forth too so I dont feel im acting too forward with 3 texts.

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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
well if replied to 1 or 1 & 2 text then no.

If he replied to none of then, yes

A man's initial attraction is a delicate thing.


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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
i know and now Im afraid I really ruined it which absoulutely kills me!
Even though he seemed so interested in me. He replied to none. Yes what? Im confused.

What should I do?

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
should i just text him saying "hope I didnt give you the wrong message by ending our nj gettaway so coldly. I would really like to hang out with you again. I truly had a great time."

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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
NO !!

don't text him again... you are showing that you could be a bunny boiler haha (only kidding) but you don't want him to think you are needy!

Wait till next week, and if you still haven't heard from him then text him saying "hi! Wanted to wish you a great week" or something.
Wait till at least MONDAY

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
hah ok. yea true. just so weird. I have never been ignored like this before by a guy... ESPECIALLY one who came on so strongly! Even guys who are clearly not interested will still reply!
Ive read that cancers pull really far back if they like someone, and now that he thinks I dont like him as much as he did hes backing away?

Do you think Ive ruined it for good just from saying we'll hang out!?

btw thank you so much for your help.

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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
No you haven't necessarily ruined it.. you just unwittingly gave the wrong impression through your words

1. you didn't wanna kiss him
2. you backed it up with "hang out"

It will be cool

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
man i sure hope so. I mean he IS FULLY ignoring me. Pretty huge rejection.
I feel like there isnt much hope if he isnt even communicating.
He probably thinks Im just using him for free food or something. :'(
I wish there was a way to let him know im not.

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 01:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
I want to give the right impression!!! Ill wait a week like you said.
Maybe the cancer deal is true.

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Just Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 63
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 02:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Just Mia     Edit/Delete Message
Thats the complexity of Cancers..honestly maybe I did not read into detail but I don't see where you did anything wrong..You hung out with him you went home told him you would see him again be in touch and you tried to be intouch and he has not responded. What am I missing here..Sounds like he wants to rush something here.

Or maybe he has a issue that does not have anything to do with you and when he gets his head right he will get back to you and explain what happen..

"He probably thinks Im just using him for free food or something. :'("

Well thats pitiful if he thinks that, what are you homeless or something..

Don't text him again, let him get back to you..

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Writesomething
Knowflake

Posts: 677
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 02:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Writesomething     Edit/Delete Message
dont bother and run.

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 02:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
it would be pretty ridiculous if I never hear from him again and he doesnt explain himself. I mean the only things i did wrong were saying i didnt want to kiss him YET and saying "we'll hang out". other than that I did a lot of rights. All of his friends really liked me... i played everything pretty cool. Im so confused.

Im crushed bc i just feel completely rejected... by someone who doesnt get a lot of girls either. Im not one to show if i really like a guy right away and im very hard to read so he probably thinks im "sort of" into him... but isnt that better anyway?! the chase? come on...


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Just Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 63
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Just Mia     Edit/Delete Message
"I mean the only things i did wrong were saying i didnt want to kiss him YET and saying "we'll hang out".

Uhm I can't see where that was even wrong..So you did not kiss him YET. Thats a red flag right there if he is upset about that..You barely knew him..

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Peri
Moderator

Posts: 147
From: Ukraine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 02:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Peri     Edit/Delete Message
you did not do anything wrong!

there is either a serious reason why he is not replying or he is one of those insecure charmers that are waiting for you to 'find' and 'save' them, imao, once your interest is sparkled they expect you to take the responsibility for their happiness and do all the relationship work for them! and if this is the case he is not worthy of your attention ... or he is just a player ...

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 02:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
do u think its possible that he feels rejected? cancers are the most sensitive.

i'm thinking maybe his friends said something ****** . i have no idea. if im just his friend it should still be way casual so youre right about the kissing aspect.

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Isolaede
Knowflake

Posts: 2
From: Sunny CA
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 02:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isolaede     Edit/Delete Message
Don’t panic, my dear.

From everything you’ve told us, you have nothing to worry about. True the lack of a kiss, and the comment about hanging out might have fed some of his doubts and fears (we Cancer’s have a host of them), but I doubt it just those things would push him away. You were giving him the “green light” in every other way, and truthfully I think most Cancer males (and maybe some of the females) like their potential mates to be “good girls” or boys. : )

Did it ever occur to you that your Cancer boy might be on his way to CA and have no cell reception? Was he driving or flying?

He’s either busy, out of cell reception, or has gone into his shell for some reason. But the good news is – it sounds like you did very little to trigger any withdrawal, so if he’s a bit blue, it’s just life that’s getting him down, and he doesn’t know you well enough to include you in his mope, or trust that you’ll accept him through it. Remember he’ll want to put his best foot forward for you until you’ve known him better, which means he probably will disappear when he’s down. He doesn’t want you to see the darkness in him, for fear you’ll reject him as others have in the past.

The fact that you are calling and texting is good – it will encourage him if he’s blue, and validate that you care for him, which will quell the doubts and insecurities he invariably has about you. I agree with Lara though – no more texts. What you’ve sent him thus far is lovely. Leave those sweet words sitting out there for him, and wait patiently. When he sees them, they will warm his heart, and he will contact you.

If I were a betting woman, I’d wager you’ll hear from him before this weekend is out. Have faith!

Big hugs,

Isoalede

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
Isoalede...
You have no idea how much your words have really helped me. You've made me feel alot better about this situation. I really dont see any reason for him to not want to hang out with me again... or at least reply. Youd think he be somewhat curious. I really got a good feeling from this guy too... which is why im even more upset. Im pretty good at picking out the good guys from the bad ones. I have far too much experience with players. I dont know if he has head out to CA or not. And if he did he would be driving. The sad thing is I know his phone is on. SO either he is ignoring me... or left it at someones place. Those really are the only two options I feel. I hope what you say about hiding in his shell is true. I dont see how someone can go from really liking someone to wanting nothing to do with them the next minute ya know?

I will be patient...

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Taurean_Scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 24
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 05:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Taurean_Scorpion     Edit/Delete Message
Hm, hey uniquepisces I don't see any problems so far. Yes be patient and don't text or call him until he does. If he wants you, he'll come after you. I know for some guys they're shy to make the first move but if he says he wished you'd kissed him, he's not shy enough to not text or call you. Keep your head up.

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uniquepisces
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted May 08, 2009 06:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for uniquepisces     Edit/Delete Message
I know! Which is why I'm so sad. I know hes bold enough to ask for a kiss and invite me to jersey. So why on earth would he just ignore me? Even if he lost interest he's a coward to not at least text me something small back and even worse he completely led me on! I wish there was some explanation for this. So let's say I wait and never hear from him? That's just it then? That's so upsetting. I really felt like we understood eachother without words... I hardly knew him but felt like I had for a while. I haven't really connected with anyone like that in years.that's another reason I didn't want to kiss him yet. The minute things get physical it chages things. And I want to get to know him somewhat. I know kissing isn't much but it sure can lead to other things.

I'm at a loss. None of it makes any sense

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Writesomething
Knowflake

Posts: 677
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2009 06:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Writesomething     Edit/Delete Message
What are your birth datas? kinda curious his moon sign now.

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