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Author
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Topic: Can I trust a Scorpio man?
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SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 23, 2009 11:51 AM
 
"Sparkling, you've handled the whole thing so gracefully! that's what I love about Sags: their optimism, easy-going nature and kindness! You rock, Sparkling! Thanks Peri! That's sweet of you. I am remaining positive. But that's not to say I don't get annoyed or a little A little fiery at times but I guess positivity is the key. Sparkling IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 04:27 AM
Hello everyone,Hope all is well. So Scorpio is acting strangely. He dissapeared off again to Spain and LA and is now back. He contacts me first thing yesterday morning on messenger to ask how I am and if he could have his book back that he'dlent me when we were together as he is leaving soon. So I said well done, I'd presume he'd finished his dissertation and he said he'd almost finished. I was like, ok I'll bring the book in. I don't quite understand the rush as the book has nothing to do with his dissertation and it seemed kinda petty to me? He could have simply asked when he saw me around...no need for formal contact. I've had a great time whilst he's been away and met lots of new people and I certainly don’t need him but I'm just left with the feeling he is strange. I like harmony in my life and joy. Sparkling IP: Logged |
Redstar
Knowflake Posts: 83
From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 05:58 AM
Harmony and joy are anathema to a scorpio >  On a serious note, I feel for you.
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Redstar
Knowflake Posts: 83
From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 05:59 AM
dp
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Deux*Antares
Knowflake Posts: 408
From: No Permanent Address
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 06:26 AM
Redstar 
So the best way to attract a Scorpio is to look like you're drowning in misery? 
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GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1259
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 09:20 AM
Hi sparkling;
I saw this thread when you first posted it, and I wanted to reply so bad, but I was afraid it would come out negative and that would squash your budding romance.
Now that I've read through it, I suppose it is safe to jump in.
He contacted you about the book because it was an excuse to contact you. I know a scorpio that leaves things behind at peoples homes like that so he can have a reason to call them up later and reconnect.
I feel like this is manipulation, and if I were you, I would drop the book by a third party, or say a shop you both go to, or simply mail it, and then inform him AFTER. Because if you tell him ahead of time what your going to do, he'll find a way to talk you out of it so that he can see you in person to retrieve the book.
Good Luck, SparklingIP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 09:33 AM
Hi GW-I like your advice you've given to other people. Is it just me being a typical saggie and not seeing what I should be seeing here? Really, is it just about him being annoying and wanting his book back and informing me yet again that he is leaving.Or, as I felt intuitivelty that it was a way of contacting me. I don't understand him at all. But your insight does make sense too. Sparkling IP: Logged |
Diana
Knowflake Posts: 565
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 12:12 PM
Scorpios and their stuff. And your stuff. They will use these things to weasel their way back into your life. Mail the book. IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 12:17 PM
I really must be a simple saggie as to me a spade is a spade. But scorpios and secrect ways......You seem to be testifying to the fact that it is an excuse...which most people keep telling me. Sparkling IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 1060
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 02:53 PM
quote:
So the best way to attract a Scorpio is to look like you're drowning in misery?
Heh, no, the best way to attract one is to seem joyous and vibrant with emotional health and wholesome energy. Then the Scorpio can tear you down until all your joie de vivre is gone, and THEN after he has left you at rock bottom, he will wait till you recover a little bit of your confidence, and then creep out from under his rock and nudge himself back into your life until you are in his thrall again. [NOTE: I'm...mostly...joking, and it's only a certain kind of super-immature Scorpio ******* that does this, but....] GypseeWind is right on about the book. A Scorpio I know used to make the lamest excuses to get back into my life, instead of just calling me up and asking me to dinner or something. Because he wanted to hide the fact that he wanted or needed to be in touch with ME...it was always about something he wanted to borrow, or information he wanted (readily available through a google search or from any one of hundreds of other people.) It was a "test" to see if I would initiate us hanging out, and then if I did, he would feel all relieved and ego-boosted and then go off and distance himself from me/reject me again for long periods of time. If I DIDN'T bite, and I texted him where he could buy the thing he wanted to borrow, or I just ignored him, he would ratchet up the level of his contact...moving from texting, to calling to ask how I was...and if I ignored THAT or blew him off, asking me out to dinner or something much more blatent. That kind of thing is not good for a fire sign woman...I mean, a guy who's only interested in us if we play hard to get out of some weird power game. Ultimately, fire women are enthusiastic and affectionate and funny and silly, and we need a guy who loves that and doesn't use it against us. I started thinking about it, and the fact that me NOT WANTING TO SEE HIM made him really desperate to see me was soooo messed up, since me wanting to see him made him sort of breathe a sigh of relief or something, and not care whether we saw each other. Ugh, weird and exhausting to try to manage, and ultimately not worth it. IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 04:36 PM
Hey,yep, am finally starting to see the light re: the book. He doesn't need it. Its an excuse. He knows he did wrong and didn't treat me with the respect I deserved. There's no point to this. If he's so desperate for the book he can borrow it out of the library... Sparkling IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1259
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 12, 2009 10:11 PM
Lucia, you said it better than I ever could and exactly how it happens. That is what they do and how they are.
AND if you don't reply to texts or voice mails or anything, be prepared for the whole accidental meeting crap to start. I keep hearing a certain car drive by my house and I know who it is.
And your right its not good for fire sign girls to have to go through this...rollercoaster game. But once you get addicted to one of "them" it is a hard habit to break.
When their good, they are over-the-moon.
When their bad, they are SLITHERING.(EDIT: I am also talking about the immature, manipulative scorpios, not all scorpios. I know many, many great ones) IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 04:30 AM
Well,not heard anything so far. Sure he'll pop up at some point. Sparkling IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 07:05 AM
Well, accidental meeting happened! Gosh, synchronicity or whatever it is. Went to the shop to buy milk for the office and he was in the shop too. So I just stood with my milk and waited. I didn't say anything. Then he asked how I was and I said, great thanks. I asked how his travelling was, he said beautiful. Then he leaned in to kiss me on both cheeks. No mention of book. Interesting. Sparkling IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 1060
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 01:26 PM
SparklingSag, get ready for him to seem interested in you again in exact inverse relation to how much you seem over him. The more you blow him off, the more he'll appear. If you so much as talk to another guy, there he'll be at your elbow. This confuses me SO MUCH--if the Scorpio has THAT MUCH energy to keep tabs on me and plan weird, passive-aggressive "tests" to see if I'm interested in him, why doesn't he just want us to have lots of sex and hang out talking and eating pizza all night?? And, does he have the energy to do this with lots of different women? In our case, it's complicated, because I kind of rejected him in the past...but still. It would be uncomplicated if he stopped making it complicated. It is confusing to have a guy not be interested in me, yet be this obsessed with me! IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1259
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 03:58 PM
Lucia, because keeping tabs and all that is a one man job, it doesn't require interacting, exposing his emotions and possibly setting himself up for rejection.
Plus the chase, the hunt, whatever is much more interesting to some of them then the actual capture.
Once your eating pizza and having lots of sex where do you go from there?
Then you might want deep heartfelt exchanges and promises of tomorrow, you know like normal people do? AND that is waaaay to much for them. (some of them people, please dont yell I have cramps, plus my own scorp issues!)IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 1060
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 04:12 PM
Also, this particular Scorp seems to want me to lie down and expose my emotional underbelly before we even ever fool around!! And yet there is NO EVIDENCE that he is a safe place for my vulnerable bits. For one thing, he has a stinger! I need to know a guy likes/wants me before I really open up to him. This guy wants me to be vulnerable, loyal, etc etc, totally one-sidedly. Which is--rude, among other things. Erghgh. What this tells me is that, basically, he's not the right guy. Sorry, did not mean to co-opt your thread, Sparkling... IP: Logged |
Deux*Antares
Knowflake Posts: 408
From: No Permanent Address
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 13, 2009 04:22 PM
Lucia, how long have you known him? Is there a way for you to know how he treated women in the past?IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 02:53 AM
GW-I agree! well said. I'm getting out of this situation emotionally.I feel like he wants to make me react and feel confused. He is leaving (which he keeps reminding me of) soon so whats the point to this? All it does is make me feel there are no decent guys out there. I woke up from unsettling dreams this morning so am perhaps not as positive as normal. Sparkling IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 09:36 AM
Oh my goodness so much game playing! Or me reading too much into it which is also a possibility. Bumped into him in the square at lunchtime. He was with a group of people I know and as soon as I arrived he started intently looking and talking to this other woman who I know. It was blatently for my viewing. I was very cool and casual and greeted everyone as normal. Then he kept checking out what I was doing and talking about. Then he said goodbye to this girl in an elaborate way right cause it was in front of me. He touched her face and was like, "oh you are going so soon" and that kind of thing. I know this girl likes another guy so suspect he was just being over friendly to get attention. Then I had to get back to work and so said goodbye,I called over to him that the book he wanted was in my office if he ever wanted it. He shrugged and said "nah, I'll get it later" which means he never really cared about the book. I've not prepared for games, I don't like them at all. My latino girlie friend said that latino men don't like blunt straightforward women. I disagree, the scorpio was very attracted to that in the beginning and that's who I am and im not going to change that. Anwyays, apologies for the rant. Sparkling IP: Logged |
Peri
Moderator Posts: 781
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 09:58 AM
what a loser!  it seems he was very attracted to you then got insecure and decided to stay 'friends' after he saw you were not going to tear you hair out to get him back, he realized what kind of an idiot he was so now he is trying to get you jealous and back and is playing his stupid games  IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 11:17 AM
Hiya Peri,You are so right. Should I be flattered or am I reading too much into this? its not like he was the love of my life, he was the fool to let me go to be honest. I should just carry on with positivity and the belief I deserve better. Sparkling IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 1259
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 11:44 AM
Don't be flattered, that will get you in trouble, just assume this is his routine and move on, you deserve better, you already know that.IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 11:58 AM
GW-You were right about the manipulation and the book. It was a way of contacting me to come back into my life. He didn't want/need the book.So yes, you're right about this too, its a routine, a way of trying to get me to like him again. This is all so silly too as he's leaving in a month. Its all about ego. Sparkling IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 65
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 14, 2009 11:59 AM
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