posted July 25, 2009 08:22 PM         

**maybe you guys can help with telling me why I always attract cheating douches.**

The break-up had always occurred when I had been wishing to leave for quite some time anyway. The only reason I stay for more than 3 months is due to there being no apparent reason to leave. What's strange is that I usually become cold right before I find out that they have cheated but when it is confirmed, although filled with a huge ego bruising (or mock hurt because I'm usually intrinsically relieved), I always feel some sick satisfaction from receiving something that I could use as a reason to instigate a break-up. Yes, twisted.

I am a lover, i.e. I can love very dearly, but something goes wrong somewhere and I just want to be left alone. Maybe we weren't well matched to begin with; and all of this makes me think that I must be fickle because I can't commit for too long without feeling suffocated. My platonic friends are the only people I can commit to, hence I always prefer a lover/friend vibe, but these guys never want to be friends, or at least the guys I've met. Most of the time, I usually have nothing better to do with my time and then due to their insistent courting and asking me to give "us" a chance, I usually just say, "What the heck..."

Maybe that's the problem.

I don't particularly want to get married, or be in a "traditional" relationship, although I love romance and such. I would actually be happy if I married someone who agreed on living in separate houses if I ever got married that is. It's just that, with all of this, I do feel a desire to share my life with someone but not in the traditional sense. I haven't quite figured out what would make me happy, but thus far, I make myself happy. I tried living with a guy once, and it was the worst thing I've ever experienced. The pressure! Yikes! Never again.

So, Hi... I'm Unmoved and I am a commitment-phobe (or maybe I'm just fickle).

*waves*

Now, here's why I'm like this.

posted July 25, 2009 09:33 PM         

I’ll answer your first question.

Venus rules my 7th house (I want a relationship)
Venus conjuncts Uranus (I don’t want a relationship)
Venus squares Mars (I want to jump you but the grass is always greener…..)
And now for the kicker – Neptune in the 7th house. (even if I want you I cant have you).

posted July 25, 2009 09:41 PM         

quote:

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My ideal relationship would have to be with someone as screwed up as myself – living in separate houses though.

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Definitely! My partner has to be as screwed up as I am also.

posted July 25, 2009 10:11 PM         

I’m not exactly commitment phobic but, I have been celibate for a while in the past (5 years) and now (going on 2 years). People think it is because of commitment phobia – when I saw an old friend while I was dating the Scorpio that broke my celibacy stage for 2 years, she said that she was surprised that I was dating someone so seriously. She said it’s because I used to dump guys like “that” (snaps her fingers). Well, that was in my early 20s, I wasn’t concerned about marriage then and if they did or said something stupid, it wasn’t worth it to stick around. It wasn’t commitment phobia it was jerk/dumb/boring-phobia. So, I’m super-picky. But it is odd that I am alone lots considering my packed 7th house, but my rising sign is Aquarius and the Sun, Mercury (7th) are square Uranus, but they are wide squares (10 degrees, 9 degrees) so…

posted July 26, 2009 12:05 AM         

ABC - No, you didn't sound stupid at all. The thing is, I'm probably too jealous to be in an open relationship, so I wouldn't be able to handle my partner canoodling other people. I've thought about whether open relationships are my thing but they aren't. I never show my jealousy but I feel it and I would be in agony seeing the object of my affection showing interest in someone else while I am still interested in him. They are free to do whatever they want though when I've lost interest, but that's not fair.

Also, I can love from a distance, and I can wait. I wouldn't expect someone to be with me just because I suddenly feel like it again, but ideally, the above is how I'd like things to be. It's totally screwed up though.

I'm selfish. Or, I'm confused. Or both. I certainly sound like I don't know what I want. Relationships give me anxiety.

I could handle one of those on and off again relationships. Exclusivity while we're on and whatever on the off periods. Let's be together when we both feel like it, type of thing. Arg! I don't know... it's more complex than that.

I don't know if I am making sense now.

posted July 26, 2009 12:37 AM         

I know I need the same thing too, and I am not a commitment phobe ... though my Moon-Uranus opposition would like to say otherwise LOL. I'm not, I just need someone who I can have passion with, as well as freedom.

Every couple of years I feel like I shed my skin and start looking around my life for things to sacrifice, something for the sacrificial altar which needs new life injected into its veins. It's often stuff of a creative or career nature, but it's also been relationships FAR TOO OFTEN, because they seem to settle into ruts and I can't stand ruts (and by ruts I mean, we're not having any fun anymore and things have gotten far TOO emotional. Now it's time for us to lighten up and start injecting life into the relationship).

posted July 26, 2009 01:11 AM         

MVM- You've given me some food for thought. I need to read your post for the 4th time because I think you're onto something with the need for friendship thing.

To be friends with my potential lovers could be even more important to me than I thought. Not being friends could be a deal breaker. Hmmm... Because what always creates distance, which later becomes the death of my interest, is the fact that I feel that these guys don't care about me, because they don't know me. And, I don't volunteer information about myself to people I don't trust. Then, that entire dynamic makes the whole relationship pointless. Then I break up with people .

posted July 26, 2009 01:44 AM         

I have Sun Opposite Uranus. Sun in the 11th and Uranus in the 5th. relationships would scare the living daylights out of me......when I first starting seeing my BF i had the worst case of nerves for 2 weeks straight. I couldn't eat or sleep.....it's been a while that I have been with him and I'm feeling very secure with him. I don't know what I would do without him.

I also have a Taurus Saturn in the 12th....

One would think a venus in pisces would gravitate more towards relationships......even a cancer moon gal....but not me.

I had spent 3 years being successfully single and I quite enjoyed my time.though my guy pals would get very angry with me cause they wanted a relationship and the man-woman stuff I'm not keen on.....

I have ALWAYS been feircly private and quite protective on my life and it takes a long while till I will let people into my life....always like having a wall around me....I developed this during my bad childhood.

posted July 26, 2009 02:28 AM         

These days I'm on the couch cause I can't walk far and need help getting to the washroom. I have a mixture of feelings happening. I have never felt so dependent and vulnerable in my life and I don't know what I would ever do with out my BF.

I am due any day now - 37 weeks and the due date is actually August 10th.but she may come early.

Thank you for the well wishes

posted July 26, 2009 05:51 AM         

1. Pressure of friends.."Why are you single?" or "Omg you should date so and so"..yada..

2. I somehow knew I was gay but if my family were to find out..I would have a long talking to, that I just didn't want to hear or go through.

3. I took a lot from the universe and tried to fill in gaps within myself.

Usually I would avoid the guy after a period of time at school or after school and then they would break up with me and I would breath a sigh of relief and the guy and I would be friends again.

Now it's all about finding myself and improving on things...

I guess this has to do with Chiron in Leo in the 7th house, Venus RX.O.o

posted July 26, 2009 01:18 PM         

I think for me, it's not liking the restrictions that are placed on people in a relationship. I'm not talking the fidelity thing. I believe fully in fidelity. I'm talking about placing restrictions on how the other person should BE in a relationship. It's a power struggle in the greatest sense. I've never bought into "traditional" male/female roles. I think that in a relationship each person should BE who they are and be able to walk their path together. I see so many couples telling each other what they expect and this is conditional on you fulfilling this and this and this. You should know who a person is once you enter into a relationship with them, and if they can't fulfill a certain need that you have, then you should walk away from them. I hate listening to couples who are like: "They should do this and this and this for me." If you don't like who a person is then why are you with them?

posted July 26, 2009 02:18 PM         

quote:

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I guess I can see myself as this.. I use to get in relationships for three reasons, wrong reasons.

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I must admit that I have had to wonder if I was gay, but I figured that I wasn't.

enchantress299~

yes, expectations are very restricting because they box a person. Mind you, there probably is a healthy way to have "expectations" but I haven't quite found the formula; where one should draw the line before it becomes debilitating to the relationship. I believe that one can not love unconditionally before one is a friend first (unless it's a parent child relationship but we are speaking of romantic love). So, I get you. Shoulds, shoul'ves... toxic indeed! Agreed. Maybe in moderation it might work, but for me I can't stand even a little of that.

I remember a guy called me and my phone was off. He then blamed me for how his day ended, i.e. it ended in disappointment, blah-blah... I was so not impressed when he gave me the lecture. So, I asked him if he would react similarly had his friend had his phone off. He said it was different. And that is my issue because I feel it isn't different. Arg. Just thinking about that episode makes me anxious. Note that he left about 15 messages in a span of 20 minutes, and when I asked what the emergency was, there was none.

My point is that I am expected to be available all the time and that gets on my nerves! I sometimes just wish to be left alone.