posted October 24, 2009 03:32 AM            

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Thing is....he began all the discussions on the heavy stuff, and then when I began to respond he backed way off. UGGG!

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Yep. They do this.

In my experience (and I was with one for almost 15 years, another for 3), the good time to respond with the heavy stuff is NEVER. Let the Airman initiate the heavy discussions, respond in a light and loving way (stuff Scorpios HATE works great on the Libras, in my experience).

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I did sent a post saying "I miss talking to you, I thought we said that no matter what we would still be friends, why are you so mad at me?"

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Direct confrontation feels heavy to them and makes them feel trapped and uncomfortable...and posts/emails allow them to sit and think about the pressure, instead of about you. A better way to reconnect would be a phonecall, saying, "Hey, how've you been?" Then something that connects to a non-personal, non-emotional thing you talked about in the past...and then connect it to some exciting event showing your independence: "Remember that time neither of us knew where Dakar was? Well, I just got invited to fly to Dakar to shoot a documentary!" And then, "How have you been? We should catch up."

posted October 24, 2009 10:14 AM            

I honestly don't think he has another involvement, he just got out of a long relationship seven months ago, and he says he's just now "getting right."

As far as his message it was short and to. the point, kinda impersonal considering three weeks of very intimate disucssions. (I'm not talking cybersex here, I'm talking about our shared past, our 'so called' future plans)

I think the message was something like, "I'm not mad at you, don't know why you got so emotional the last time we talked is all." ARGGGGGG!!! OKAY!

posted October 24, 2009 02:01 PM            

i may forgive you though.

leo sun,

but i really attribute my opinion to my Chinese Snake sign.

don't go behind a snakes back ever! (if you want them to trust you that is)

posted October 24, 2009 04:34 PM            

When you look at things from the Libra's POV--his priorities are an equal, PEACEFUL partnership with a beautiful and very independent woman. Nevermind that HE argues all the time. And that HE gets all into talking about "the relationship" and your future--the thing is that when HE talks about this stuff, he's already turned it into a neat, tidy narrative in his mind...it isn't connected to any messy emotional undercurrents or surprises the way it is when YOU reciprocate or bring it up.

Talk to Libra about art, politics, your job, the environment.

Letram, I don't think anyone should go back to someone who cheated or lied. (I am also a Leo.)

I think "winning someone back" should be for situations where we lost their interest by inadvertently coming on too strong or not strong enough, or we didn't realize we were crazy about them till we already sent them away (ugh, I've done this way too many times), or we made some faux pas that gave them a very wrong idea, or we weren't ready for the same thing at the same time. If the relationship is REALLY toast, both people ought to just move on.

posted October 24, 2009 04:56 PM            

One of my Libra exes was dating someone recently and he just started to dread getting her calls.

Rajin, instead of trying to get something out of the LIbra or trying to get him to be more mature, it sounds like your friend should be more independent, less heavy, less demanding, and more fun. Her life should be filled with brilliant friends, great parties, saving the world, political activism, and art, all of which he is welcome to be a part of.

You don't have to be an air sign guy to dread contacting or checking in with someone who demands and expects it of you, but they HATE that kind of demand more than, say, water or fire guys ever do, in my experience. There's that old fable about the sun and the wind both trying to get a guy to take his coat off--the wind by blowing at him till he's freezing (which makes him clutch the coat harder), the sun by coming out and being warm.

Give Libra a warm glow to bask in. Do your own thing, and let your brilliance, beauty, independence INSPIRE him to be more mature, interested, romantic, attentive. Do not push him or burden him or try to change him. It works.

posted October 24, 2009 07:13 PM            

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Will she be able to get him back into her life, if he is not maintaining any contact with her?

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Probably NOT...but her best shot is to follow the advice in my earlier post about winning back a Libra Man.

The fact is if they don't live near each other, run in the same circles, and see each other in person frequently, it's probably a lost cause.

My advice (with ANY guy) is to make sure there's as much REAL, in-person contact as possible--so that chances for sponaneous kisses, intense eye contact, the experience of mutual chemistry, etc abound. I think that over text, email, even calls, the two people are not truly interacting.

Sexual and romantic chemistry are what differentiate platonic friends from sexual or romantic couples...if you don't actually spend time together physically, you might be feeling attracted to your fantasies/projections about the other person rather than feeling real mutual chemistry between you.

I mean, your friend's Libra either has a) another woman he would rather touch and kiss than her, b) is still into her, but feels like something is so wrong between them that he stays away, or c) is one of those people who do not need or want real sex or intimacy.

posted October 24, 2009 07:34 PM            

If they lived together as a couple 5 years ago, and they were together for a couple of years--if they know each other's bodies well, have travelled together, have spent nights talking while wrapped in each other's arms--then she DEFINITELY has a chance of winning him back. She just needs to make seeing him/visiting him a priority.

If they were always a virtual/long-distance couple who met for the first time online rather than in person, the Libra probably wanted her "back" to fill a void in his life--maybe after an attraction to someone didn't work out. It's just fantasy.

posted October 24, 2009 10:51 PM            

I can't talk though I'm the same way with Scorpios.

I see what you were saying when talking to Rajin about having been physically with the person before, that would allow for the Libra alot of fond memories to think on, when he's alone, all up in that head of his.

I should mention I have never been with mine 'in that way.' We were inseparable in grade school, kinda like the black sheep outcast kids. We were closer then close. I did not realize that he had feelings for me then, other than sisterly/friend. We were together every day. We were "bad kids" at a very young age due to our family lives, so we would skip school and steal his dads liquor and hang out in the park. He seems to really enjoy reminicsing (sp?) about this.
anyway, at age 13, my Mother came screeching back into my life and decided because she had straightened up, she wanted me to live with her, so without any consent from me, she moved me to Ohio from New Jersey, two weeks before school was to let out in 8th grade. There wasn't much discussion it all happened very quickly. (in fact, she kidnapped me, but that is another story)

When I got to Ohio I was miserable, and I hated it. I missed Michael (Libra) very much. So I wrote him a letter and he wrote me back, and this went on for a month or so.

One day out of the blue, he shows up at my doorstep!! At 14 years of age, he stole a car and drove cross country to see me. My Mother wasn't having it of course. She let him shower, eat and rest and then sent him on his way and told him not to contact me anymore, as I needed to leave my old life and memories behind (whew this is getting to be a book)

He only recently told me that he wrote to me for years afterwards, only to have his letters returned unopened. I never knew this.
So he said online, "You were the first woman I ever loved, and I carry that with me always."

This is the sorta stuff romantic gals dream about you know. But like you said, I must have reciprocated too enthusiastically, cause he sure ran off in a hurry, even though we were making plans for a trip back home to go sit in "our" park, and as he said, "stretch out on the bleachers and talk until the stars come out and afterwards. Walk the streets hand in hand, looking for ghosts of our chilhood selves."

Yeah, he says that kinda stuff.

I can't post charts without help, and I'm not gonna ask my daughter for help cuz, she's just too dang nosy, but if anyone is at all inclined here is our info:

Gypsee
Dec. 6, 1966
2:40 pm
Fort Knox, KY

Michael
Oct.13, 1966
7:18 am
Belleville, NJ

He is a libra sun, asc, moon and venus, OY!

Regardless if you look it up, thanks for your time Lucia, you seem very thoughtful and insightful, I think it would be a blast to talk to you, yakity, yak, yak, yak, we could probably go for hours.

Rajin, I think your friend should maybe take a class or get into a group or involved with a new hobby. Something to change perspective. It isn't good for Scorpios when they are feeling rejected, they take it alot worse then some of the other suns do. She needs to refocus that sharp mind of hers on something positive.
Just my humble opinion of course.

ETA: that car stealing incident got Michael sent to a boys 'jail' and from that led him down a long road of self destruction. He only quit abusing substances when got in his 30's. We are 42 now. So I wonder if he some how blames me for that? I didn't ask him to steal a car and come see me, but yet, I feel a wee bit responsible cause in my letters I was always lamenting on how miserable I was in Ohio.

posted October 24, 2009 11:29 PM            

HE gets to say goopily romantic stuff. YOU are supposed to sit up on your pedestal like a fiery goddess and not get too needy, eager, or debased. Sex helps a LOT with these guys as a time/way/situation you can express your feelings without making them flee.

Light! The Airman is probably in awe of, but overwhelmed by, your Saggie fire.

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Wow you really have some great insights on Libra men, Lucia. I'm wondering though, what made you go after the second one when you had been through 15 years with the first? lol.
I can't talk though I'm the same way with Scorpios.

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The three-year one came before the fifteen-year one. I'm happy about BOTH relationships--both guys were very devoted to me. I'm still really close to my most recent ex...it just wasn't a right relationship for my whole life.

The relationships I have found scarring were both wih Scorpios, both not really relationships at all, and both since my breakup. So either Scorpio men SUCK in that context, at least with me, or adult dating SUCKS compared to teenage dating, or I just wasn't ready to really be with someone new yet so I had reboundy attractions to the wrong guys.

If I fell for a new guy and learned he was a Libra, I'd be very glad.

If I ever have a long-term relationship again...and at this point I really don't want one, I want to explore different connections with different people and really do my creative work full-on...I would be happy to have it be with a nice Libra. Even the intense and Plutonic ones seem less manipulative, difficult, easily-wounded, and SUCKY than watermen. The worst thing they do is *poof* away! Scorpios sting and cause great pain.

EDITED: Gypsee, I'm putting a few comments about your synastry in the Soul Unions thread, because I don't want to derail this one...I'm still hoping people will post surefire tips here for all 12 signs, both sexes.

posted October 24, 2009 11:43 PM            

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The thing is they are both from India. The culture there is different, living together before marriage is frowned upon over there

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Rajin, it sounds like that would put a LOT of pressure on your average Libra man. They need to really know someone intimately before deciding that she is The One.

In this case, if he hasn't proposed to her, she should move on. In the situation you've described, when he came back and said he was ready for a commitment, that should have included a marriage proposal and a plan to move to the same place. This guy sounds ambivalent. When he is really in love and ready to commit, he'll be different.

It's tough for everyone when it has to be so either/or, though. I think you should ask IQ Hunk to look at their synastry--he is very knowledgable about astrology, period, and he also understands the Indian culture context very, very well and can give great advice based on that. My advice is always kind of hippie-ish and libertine.

posted October 25, 2009 12:14 AM            

So you want to talk about other signs too?

Okay, my second favorite sign is Virgo. Have lots of Virgo exes, and I STILL speak to every single one of them. Also my mom and two brothers are Virgos so I have had alot of time to watch them in attaction.

When my husband and I separated 3 years ago, first thing I did was look up my Virgo ex, he was like "the one that got away." I carried a torch forever for this guy, still do in a way.

So on winning back a Virgo, I notice practicality goes a long way. You can be pie in the sky romantic, but if they can't "picture" you fitting into their lives, schedules, and families, you can probably forget it.

Also with Virgo you want to act very proper when out together. They want you to look good and have very nice manners. Virgo and Cap are very similiar in that they feel their partner is a direct reflection of them.

Also you want to engage their minds alot. Bring up news stories, historical facts, alot of them seem to really enjoy crosswords and trivia.

The one I am speaking of came into my place of employ every day after work. This was a bar, btw. Anyway, he had strange hours and usually when he got off work there wasn't anyone or hardly anyone in there at the time.

So we started playing one of those video games, you know the kind bolted right to the bar? And I could literally feel a change in him as we played. We found this one game called, "word dojo" where you make words from tiles being dropped (virgos love words, and people that are creative and witty word wise) anyway, we played that game every day and had the time of our lives and grew close from that. I think partnership even in something simple like that is a happy thing for Virgo.

They also don't mind flattery.
AND, they love to take care of you when your sick, you'll get their attention when you have the sniffles or the flu. They won't come near you, lol, but they will go to the store, buy your medicine, feed you. etc.

posted October 26, 2009 09:12 AM            

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well, absence does NOT make my heart grow fonder. It makes me distrust you and then we have to start all over again -- if I even want to at that point. It depends. I don't like games, so if you come back you better be serious or I will bolt. For good.

Oh and you better tell me the truth, because I will know if you are lying. I will most likely not tell you I know though. It will go into my mental memory checklist of things about you. It will sit there until I decide what to do about it. I give the benefit of the doubt until I am sure. Then I let you know and then I usually leave.

Aqua sun/taurus AC/ sag moon

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posted October 26, 2009 04:38 PM            

For a Taurus, with stability and touch as #1 priorities, the long-distance thing would just be too, too hard to do for very long, I'd imagine. She's not all in her emotions like Fire and Water signs. I have a Leo and a Scorp friend in a long-distance relationship and they love the passionate reunions, heartwrenching partings, and alone-time pining away in between. Taurus is NOT LIKE THAT. She needs to have a homemade dinner together and cuddle on the couch.

Stay loyal, consistent, kind, trustworthy, respectful, attentive and be her friend. Even years later, you could get back together. Also, find a way (without putting pressure on her) to tell her that she is the one you want to be with and that you see a future with her, and that you're willing to compromise and wait.

I think if you moved to the same place, she would get back together with you right now.