posted November 03, 2009 12:52 PM         

Well, I don't know what to do right now. My brain is just completely confused. Mostly scared I would say though. I've been living with my bf for a year and a few months and I think we've reached a turning point. I really love him. I do with all my heart, but I'm a bit scared. The whole thing is just not how I pictured it. Perhaps that sounds a bit idealistic. It is ... I'll be the first to admit that sometimes my expectations of life and love are so otherworldly, they're just plain ridiculous. But it's just not how I imagined it would be! I imagined that someone would just come, sweep me off my feet, would be a little bit more like me, understand me in every way, and that the universe would just swallow us up and I would just "know" without a fraction of a doubt that everything is going to work out and be perfect and we would live happily ever after... like in a fairy tale... However, the reality of things is far from what I dreamed up in my little fantasy...

For starters... We're SO different! He and I... sometimes I wonder if we're too different!... we're complete opposites in almost every single way.... and on the one hand it's FRUSTRATING b/c we misunderstand each other all the time, but now that I think about it it's kind of like we each have something the other doesn't, like we complete eachother in a way... and we challenge eachother on a daily basis and force eachother to grow... And when I think about it... if I DID have someone that was more like me, wouldn't I just get bored?? I'm a Venus in Aries and I get bored REALLY easily in relationships... In this one, there's an element of instability and uncertainty that ironically I kind of like. Strange, I know. But I'm a very restless and erratic person. I kind of find it exciting. At the same time, however, I worry and question and doubt EVERYTHING. Possibly my Virgo AC? But I even doubt the things I'm absolutely sure about (if that makes any sense.) Like for instance, acting. I am so sure that's what I want to do for the rest of my life, but even that, I doubted and left 3 or 4 times... but just kept coming back to it... I know I'm probably not making any sense at all right now... I'm trying to sort out my own brain here... I guess I'm wondering if I have any doubts and it's not how I pictured it... does that mean that the relationship is wrong for me?? What further confuses me, is that I don't even know if I can trust my "knowing" feeling anymore... my last relationship was with a guy I was really in love with and I was just so SURE... 120% positive that he was THE ONE... that knowing feeling... but he turned out to be a complete scumbag!! Maybe I just idealized him and deluded myself into thinking that he was someone he's not... and I think my Venus in Aries restlessness also comes into play here... I have a tendency to set unrealistic expectations for people and relationships and when they don't quite measure up, I start wondering if the grass is greener somewhere on the other side... very negative quality I know... But I get scared... I start to wonder if there's an expiration date on the relationship, and if there is, why invest all my emotion in it? I'll just wind up getting hurt... So here's the thing... last night I voiced all of my concerns to him and he asked me if 5 years or so down the line can I still see myself being with him? Can I see myself marrying him? and the thing is, I absolutely can! My love for my current bf is different from the scumbag I mentioned... it's more of a "I want to take care of you and be there for you" kind of love... and he's just SO AMAZING... I mean he's always been there for me (just like I have been for him)... through my bouts of depression (which I have no idea how ANYONE can possibly handle)... my emotional issues... and he's always willing to work out any issues we have or any differences we have no matter what it takes (as am I)... and we're just SOOO comfortable together... in fact, I've never felt more comfortable with anyone in my life... and the one thing that I can say, despite all other things, without a fraction of a doubt... is that I know that I can grow with him... continuously...

posted November 03, 2009 01:06 PM         

Here is the composite:

posted November 03, 2009 01:13 PM         

My whole life, my favorite numbers have always been 3 and 7. I don't know why but I always just liked them together and used them for everything... all my passwords always ended in 37....

The funny thing is that my lifepath number is 7. His is 3.

Here is what I found:

3 & 7 Compatibility (and vice versa)

This combination of numbers is particularly interesting. John and Mary, the different natures of the three and seven make for a relationship that either lasts for about two weeks before going up in flames, or remains exciting and powerful for a lifetime. If your relationship has existed for quite some time and can be considered stable, you may well be soul mates for life. If the relationship started recently and has already experienced considerable ups and downs, you should be prepared to let go. It is also quite common for this combination to turn from romance into deep friendship immediately after a romantic fall-out.

John has a restless, energetic, unconventional mind that happily explores the boundaries of creativity and originality. Like a kaleidoscope, the mind of the three changes colors and shapes and enchants those around it. Mary has a much more serious, but no less unconventional way of looking at life. Mary is an untiring seeker of truth and understanding. Mary gets great satisfaction out of quiet moments of contemplation and soul searching. In fact, Mary thrives on the clarity and realizations that come from such moments and from moments of spiritual enlightenment, which are common to those found with the seven in this part of the chart.

posted November 03, 2009 05:16 PM         

but i hope it works for you its all i can say.i hope that helps you in any way.

posted November 03, 2009 05:44 PM         

The only I can say I no regret it but I don't recommen to do the same. I get adult to early. My teenage period started when I was 35.

posted November 03, 2009 08:30 PM         

are you asking all of these..cause you dont love him anymore?or because he didnt made up his mind yet?about the moving off the brother´s house?

posted November 03, 2009 08:58 PM         

But well, relationships aren't perfect, and no two people are 100% compatible - there will always be differences and even conflicts, and there will always be traits that you and your partner won't like about each other, no matter how much you love each other.

Also, it is normal to have doubts about your relationship from time to time. But it isn't necessarily bad, and it can lead to a better understanding of your feelings as well as the relationship's dynamics.

So if you feel overall happy with each other, then don't worry. ^_~ Yeah, relationship problems might be a pain (and you're even a Pisces Moon lol with this and Pisces DC plus Aries Venus, you might not be able to rest until everything is solved XD - I have Aries Venus too), but everyone has to deal with it, yet it's not that bad and you can deal with them together, and learn and grow up together. Also, even if you feel that you and your bf are different in certain things, are these differences relevant for you? Some differences are fine, coz again, no couple is 100% compatible, but of course, it's also important to have some common ground.

In your charts, you have Virgo AC while he has Leo AC, so you might have some general differences, although you have compatible Suns/Moons, which would actually show good affinity. But well, I guess that since your Venus isn't compatible with your Suns/Moons/Mars, your Venus might feel a bit unhappy sometimes? By the way, I've noticed that your Destinn/NN is on his DC, while his Valentine/Destinn are near your AC, which makes me wonder if despite the personality (AC) differences, it does have a feeling of fate/destiny. X3
Ah, I've also noticed that there's a t-square with your Venus/Neptune square and your bf's Cancer stellium - I guess that the Venus/Neptune square can show that you might idealize or get confused about love and affections often; and with your bf's stellium there, he might make you more confuse or idealized. It might make you confuse coz he might sometimes not fit in what you idealize, and it can make you confuse, as you might think if things aren't going right if things aren't going as you expected/idealized. But well, although this can be tricky (specially with your romantic Pisces Moon/DC and impatient Aries Venus lol), yet you can try to be more understanding and compassionate to each other in order to understand each other better. Communication is very important whenever Neptune confuses. X3

posted November 04, 2009 02:00 AM         

For youngsters, the Sun opp Saturn in the composite is a sadness inducer.

Even the Comp Jupiter-Valentine is squared by Neptune and conjunct South Node. The past life links and draconic links are too strong and all those karmic debts are creating frustration.

As a 29 day numbered bloke, his soul has chosen a rougher path than normal. You do not have to suffer his fate and his burdens.

Aged just 19 and born on a 19 or 1 numbered ambitious day, you cannot let another's karmic burdens bury your life force.

I recommend letting go.
Then become very happy, rich and successful. Your success will help him out too, and it is a better way of settling karmic debts.

------------------
Soul Mate Love Calculator

posted November 04, 2009 03:06 AM         

Forget astrology, it is no replacement for your gut instincts. If you have lost confidence in trusting them then you are not alone among LL posters. Personally this trend worries me, I would like to see a boost in female self-esteem.

As for marriage, imagine he has a serious health probelm and is bed-ridden. Maybe he had an accident. Don't get scared, he is going to get better. But right now you need to wipe his butt for him - can you do it? If you can't, think twice.

posted November 04, 2009 06:38 AM         

EE, Notice that you are expecting someone else to come along and fit perfectly into this idealize picture you have in mind. Then you are torn between reality and fantasy when it doesn't work out as planned. You dream of being an actress, but take no steps on building your craft, why? (from previous post.) The truth is it is all your responsibility, all within your control not your venus or AC. I think the best thing to do now is to start to journal on a daily basis. Date all your pages, then let it all out. Let time pass then go back and read the entries. Do you like what it has to say? What advice would you give to this person if it was not you? I hear alot of whining and no action. You need time to grow and you should consider reading empowerment books, personal development, etc.

posted November 04, 2009 08:38 AM         

quote:

---

As for marriage, imagine he has a serious health probelm and is bed-ridden. Maybe he had an accident. Don't get scared, he is going to get better. But right now you need to wipe his butt for him - can you do it? If you can't, think twice.

---

This might just be the BEST advice ever given on LL. Seriously. Practical, straight to the point, and thought-provoking.

+1

EE, you are 19 years old and have posted doubts about this relationship before...I was angsty when I was 19 too. You are VERY mature for 19. I am not saying true love can't be had at 19 but this is an awful lot of hemming and hawing at your age and you guys have been together for awhile...perhaps all this restlessness is a sign that a break is needed. The worst thing that can happen is that you marry this man, and then five years down the line you end up in divorce court because you realize you didn't really get to live and experience being without him.

posted November 04, 2009 09:38 AM         

Taking a break when things gets too confused is better, although breaking up would be a bit too dramatic, if the relationship is generally happy and healthy, right? Well, for us to mature, we have to go through "immature" phases first, in which we would often worry about silly stuffs and get confused in the most silly ways 'till we understand things better. And it takes time to learn about how relationships works, specially if a person idealized love a lot. But if we just give up a relationship every time we encounter these problems, then we would never learn, and prone to find them again in the future relationships 'till we learn anyways. So in this case, if there's nothing serious to worry, then there's no need to worry too much. But of course, if the relationship is overall unhealthy and unhappy, then it's better to ponder if it's still worth it or not.
But well, in any cases, allow yourselves to have space to mature and grow up, not just for the sake of your relationship, but also for the sake of yourselves. Take time to think about what you really want in life, and don't make any hasted conclusions (this applies to marriage as well).

posted November 04, 2009 11:30 AM         

Sorry if none of my post really made sense... I was just trying to figure it all out in my head... and I was trying to speed up the process... I just wanted to know NOW!!

Basically, what I was trying to figure out is, if I don't know for sure yet, does it mean that he's wrong for me? Like the other day, I asked a bunch of people how they knew that their SO was the one... they all told me different things... some said that you just "know," other people said that it's more of a choice... which further confused me... but then I got some really good advice from a very old (very cliche, I know) bartender at the restaurant.... he said it takes time... he said that in order to make such a determination, I need to not rush things and give it more time... b/c despite what I think, we do not know eachother well enough to make such a judgement. He said that if one day you wake up and you realize that you don't want anyone else... you'll know... likewise if you wake up one day and think you'd rather be with someone else, there'll be your answer. To clarify, I'm NOT looking to get married anytime soon. But I guess after a certain point, I just wanted to know if the relationship would be permanent or if there was an eventual expiration date... in which case, it's better to get out before you get in too deep or you'll wind up getting hurt... but I agree with what comica said... if there's some specific lessons I'm supposed to learn, then I need to learn them, otherwise I'll just repeat the same process with someone else...

Here's the thing... I'm not bored... it's not that... but I do question EVERYTHING...it's what I do... it's annoying I know... but I worry and think more than anyone I know... and although I acknowledge this, I don't know how to stop! lol... that's why I brought up the acting example... even something I'm sure about... I still question from time to time... One thing about me, I prefer a difficult relationship over a super easy one... it's happy and healthy for the most part... but we have our issues like anyone else... b/c of my idealization it makes things harder...

As for my whining? Well, I'm sorry if it comes off that way... I just frequently question things, in order to find the truth for myself, and often, it helps most when I have an unbiased opinion from someone else to give me clarity. Aka Kat, I know it may seem that I'm not taking action... you said that I dream of being an actress but I'm not doing anything for it... not true. I'm using right now as a time of preparation. My bf and I are currently saving up money over the course of this year to move to NYC or if we still can't afford that, somewhere just outside the city. As there are no instructors in the area, I'm trying to practice on my own. I know I need to grow up... I'm working on it.

Diandra, so sorry to not have filled you in! Yes, he chose to move out with me and we have our own apartment now and it's very nice and working on decorating it right now... we still have some disputes concerning his brother... but that will always be there... just as long as he keeps a balance between the both of us, it shouldn't be a huge issue. No, this is more of a "me issue." Not much to do with him. He told me that he's willing to work out any issues we have no matter what it takes... he says he won't give up and he's with me to the bitter end... I asked him why he was so sure about me... he said there was no one defining factor for him... just a culmination of all my great qualities... he said especially that he's never met anyone so caring... he says that I have everything that he's looking for... he's a little more levelheaded about the whole thing than I am... Also, Saturn is going through his 3rd house... could that explain the brother issue?

Comica, I really appreciate your response. I think that b/c you have some similar placements in your own chart, you kind of get where I'm coming from. Yes, our AC's are incompatible... but I'm actually really really comfortable with Leo energy... that's one sign that I've ALWAYS been pretty comfortable with... perhaps my Leo SN? but yes, the Valentine and Destinn really creates a "fated" feeling. The moment I saw him... it was really strange... it was like he literally "walked into my life" out of nowhere... he just kind of appeared... and I even remember seeing some silver light... I didn't know anything about him but I remember thinking to myself..."wow, I don't know who he is but I don't care if anyone else asks me out again... I want HIM..." never felt that before... I'm already very neptunian so the t-square makes things difficult... you're right... there are many ways that this can manifest... I should just try to be more understanding...

BM, I love your advice. I HAVE done this for him... one time he got really really sick about 4 or 5 months ago... and he was bed ridden... and I had to do everything for him... this isn't something that's extremely difficult for me... I love taking care of people... but also, I have done things that are harder for me... for instance, taking care of him when he's sick? no problem... trying to keep the house neat and clean?? ehh... well... a little harder... but he's helped me to become neater and more organized which has helped me in my every day life... in turn, I've helped him with his spending habits... among many, many other things..

On another note... I wonder if the struggles lately have anything to do with Saturn transiting my first house? In a previous thread, I was told that it was a time of "growing up" for me... but also Saturn just changed from Virgo to Libra... which I guess would turn my attention to relationships... Is this logical? So is this a time of growing up in relation to myself and my relationships? Perhaps stop with my idealistic little fairy tales? And deal with what's real?

posted November 04, 2009 11:40 AM         

Also, just wanted to add... I've been REALLY stressed lately... with work and the apartment and all that... so this maybe adding to it...

posted November 04, 2009 11:46 AM         

you both are gonna be ok,you deserve that and when love is really there...there is nothinh that can overcome that happiness.

i never had saturn over my 1st.it is still on my 12th but yes that can add a bit more responsability to you.you might feel some burdens are coming ahead but it is needed for us to become mature isnt it?

posted November 04, 2009 01:31 PM         

Idk. IQ says that it's karmic... and that it's best to let go... but he said if we were older everything would be great... so does that mean that we met too early? ugh... Idk... but you know what... before that bartender gave me that advice... I just prayed to God... asking him for some kind of answer... some sign... and it felt kind of like it was God talking to me in the bartender's words... so I think I'm just going to stick around if or until one day I wake up and realize that I want to be with someone else...

posted November 04, 2009 03:09 PM         

i mean saturn in second house of taurus and staurn now entering libra both have the venus rulers so i think money and friends will be a big issue for me now. actually when my saturn was in the first house earlier this year and up until a few months ago i was having the same problems as you about work and leaving and coming back.

maybe thats why thats happening to you and since we are pretty much astrotwins lol. maybe what happens to me happens to you.