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Author Topic:   Moon Opp Venus - will realtionships ever be easy for me?
jacque
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posted December 16, 2009 02:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
I've had issues in most of my relationships. I feel emotionally unfulfilled. once someone accused me of being superficial which I never ever understood since I felt so deeply for them.

It seems unfair to have my Moon opposition Venus, even in casual social relationships I feel left out many a times. I don't understand it. I am always nice but no matter what I do it never seems to be enough. Ppl only seem to want to take but my emotional needs never seems to be met n I end up having to compromise, having to care about ppl who are not supportive of me the way I want them to be. sigh

Can anyone advice me on how to deal with this? what can I do to make this aspect better for me?

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hikoro
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posted December 16, 2009 03:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hikoro     Edit/Delete Message
Bizarre.

I have moon in Taurus opposing Venus in Scorpio and I don't feel like this at all, especially in regards to the superficial part. Au contraire, most people admire my deep-genuine nature.

I truly don't know what to say...maybe you could post your chart?

Do you have venus conjunct pluto or any plutonian factors?
Planets in Pisces or Cancer? Or perchance...Virgo placements?

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iQ
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From: Chennai, India
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posted December 16, 2009 03:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for iQ     Edit/Delete Message
Tom Cruise to Cuba Gooding Jr in 'Jerry Maguire': "Help me Help You".

Please post your chart.

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jacque
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posted December 16, 2009 03:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
Hey iQ,
I actually did mail my details a week or so ago. It was related to my Soulmates post but you still have it. If you can let me know, that would be great, I'd really appreciate it.

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jacque
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posted December 16, 2009 05:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
Here's my natal chart

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MsCandeh
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posted December 18, 2009 02:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
Hi jacque ((hugs))

As your Sun is in your first house, I can imagine that you project the detached (although friendly) feeling that Aquarians seem to give off... and yet it is further from the truth. Having the moon in Cancer and such a sensitive sign ... that's where your heart lies. I can see why this is hard for you. Moon in Cancer makes you care for others so much and people will take advantage of that and your Aqua friendly nature Chiron is also square your AC which could point to why this may also hurt you a lot in social situations where your AC is most prominent. It'll be an area where you need to work hard on yourself to get through the other side. My Sun in Taurus square my ASC in Aqua has been one of the hardest aspects to deal with in my chart.
Regarding Venus opposite moon... well the trouble with this is that cancer mooners feel deeply and are soft on the inside with a hard outer shell and can subconciously put up their hard outer walls (much like a fort) if they feel the need to defend themselves from getting hurt. Capricorn in Venus seem to be cold and detached but only because they are generally so cautious in love.. I think their hearts are in the right place though and can be warmed slowly And once the trust bond is forged then it's very warm, but it can take a while (earth sign). And Aquas are known to be detached and aloof.. when they aren't! lol

So there seems to be a struggle between who you are projecting onto the world (Aqua) which needs adjustments (quincunx) to your emotional nature (Cancer - which is heightened because this is the Moon's ruling sign). You need to find balance (opposition) between love, romance (Venus) and your emotions (Moon) and this is helped by a supportive trine/sextile from Chiron in Taurus. However as it's Chiron making this aspect .. you are dealing with past hurts/wounds that are hard to heal. I am not that experienced with Chiron so perhaps someone else can chime in. It could be that you are afraid that you will somehow get hurt/your ego will get hurt if you project who you really are (chiron square ASC, Sun in 1st) ... If that's the case that's very simmilar to my ASC square Sun dilemma!

I hope that this isn't too confusing and that you find solace soon. I'm not really experienced at astrology and I'm sure IQ has got some great words of wisdom for you But I hope I've helped even just a little bit with what areas may need work (from knowing only your chart!) ...

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jacque
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posted December 18, 2009 02:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
thanx for your reply, MsCandeh. I really appreciate it.

Right now, I feel like relationships n ppl always end up disappointing me, terribly. I don't know if I come across as detached but I know that I have to be detached on the inside. so far whoever has gotten close has ended up hurting me terribly.

My work fulfills me more. Maybe I should just focus on that .. n forget about everyone? sigh.

I do face a lot of what you said. The question is how do I deal with it? how do I work on it.

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jacque
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posted December 18, 2009 02:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
btw, iQ has been a God send and is helping me a lot.

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MsCandeh
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posted December 18, 2009 03:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
Glad to hear that iQ is being a great help. He's lovely!

In regards to HOW to make the adjustments.. well I'm not sure. You will need to figure that out for yourself and do some soul-searching... I've been going through this soul-searching thing for at least a year now.. I sort of always been self-aware but this year has been a big soul-growth year to the point friends and family (close and not so close) have said to me how proud they are and how far I have come. Even my dad (which is very very unusual of him to say).

I feel like I can see a light finally though but I know it's one of those never ending things.

I don't think focussing on just work will solve your issues.. I don't think resolutions come about from burying your head in the sand. You are going to have to look deep inside. And you need to realise that this unfulfilment is due to conflict within yourself, not because other people seem to be causing this within you.

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MsCandeh
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posted December 18, 2009 03:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
I used to look at my chart and *sigh* .. blame all of the oppositions and squares for my issues. But you need to learn to work WITH them because that's what you were born with. Learn to love yourself I'm not there yet but getting there! Making adjustments is just that - catch yourself doing something that you know makes people do a double take or question you, then mentally note that. You'll figure out what is appropriate in social situations, close relationships, friendships and what to keep to yourself.

At the moment I am working on my privacy issues in that I am TOO open and trusting of people which can backfire on me. This is influenced by a lot of astrological factors but the first step is to realise this then change the habits to stop it from happening to the point it backfires on me. I need to work out where my boundaries are and I am the only one who can come up with that. I am finding that testing the waters/trial and error seems to work best for me... learn from mistakes... but others aren't as stupid as me either so that approach may not work for them. If I am doing a trial n error thing I will make sure it's with something that won't be irreversible/cause any damage or hurt to anyone.

At the end of the day you hvae to make a decision to work on yourself and then try hard.. it's hard to form new habits but once you do it's much easier to maintain

Hope this helps some. It's a very subjective and personal thing so I have no idea if what I wrote makes any sense to you! If you want to chat let me know ((hugs))

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MsCandeh
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posted December 18, 2009 04:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
PS. I just remembered, visit Astrology Weekly. I found out a lot about my chart aspects there (ugh the ASC square Sun I relate to a lot and have a hard time with). Perhaps read the venus opp moon one and see what you think. They are normally good with giving suggestions too

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jacque
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posted December 18, 2009 04:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
Hey MsCandeh,
I did read about Moon opp Venus in a number of places like Cafe Astrology & Astrology Weekly but the information made me a little sad. Altho' suggestions are offered, there is nothing concrete or practical to implement. It's quite subjective.

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jacque
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posted December 18, 2009 04:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
oh, the one thing I did learn this year is that I should not have any expectations of anyone. Be independent, especially emotionally. But the problem is to do that I have to be detached. But being detached makes me feel emotionally disconnected from the people I love. But it seems it's the only way .. is that right? or have I come to the wrong conclusion.

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MsCandeh
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posted December 18, 2009 06:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
That's what I was saying earlier.. you need to look within yourself to find out what will work best for you. It's very subjective. There isn't one magic answer for anyone who is going through a certain thing.. different things work for different people. With everything in life not just astrology

It sounds like you've been going through a similar experience to me. I have learnt this year not to have expectations of anyone either. I try very hard to let things go. It's been an important learning curve for me.

Jacque.. if you are questioning about being detached... then you're not doing the right thing. If you have tried it and it feels wrong, then you are not being true to yourself. It's about knowing who you are and then making adjustments to help you get along comfortably and ultimately happy in this life Compromise. I am probably not explaining myself well as I am only just realising a lot of this too lately.

At the end of the day you can't control people judging you. That and the weather

I so understand what you are going through. This exact question has been at the top of my thoughts for a lot of the last part of this year.

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MsCandeh
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posted December 18, 2009 06:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
Coming back to what you are asking about.. being independent is good and a co-dependency type relationship is generally not healthy. But if you find that you are detaching yourself and that's the only way it seems to work with others, you are not being true to yourself. Then when you eventually meet someone and settle down, fall into your routine, your true self will come out and you will either struggle with it or the other person will think that you hvae deceived them.

I think its about knowing when to draw the line, defining boundaries and keeping some things to yourself (but not dismissing it) and knowing when to do these things. Just find a different channel to express your feelings through. Be yourself but know when you may be putting unnecessary burden emotionally on someone else. Then learn to deal with it ! Easier said than done. I have learnt a lot of lessons this year because I have had a shoe-on-the-other-foot kind of year with people which has opened my eyes a lot into my own behaviour. It's all about perspective.

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amowls*
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From: richmond va
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posted December 18, 2009 09:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls*     Edit/Delete Message
Hi jacque we have the same birthday.

Anyway, my friend has moon square venus and she is extremely picky about who she gets involved with. If she's not 100% into a guy, she doesnt bother. She has a pisces venus so this aspect acts like a filter so she doesnt make the mistakez i do (i have a pisces venus too so i tend to date bad people who are more hassle than theyre worth).

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amowls*
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From: richmond va
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posted December 18, 2009 09:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls*     Edit/Delete Message
Hi jacque we have the same birthday.

Anyway, my friend has moon square venus and she is extremely picky about who she gets involved with. If she's not 100% into a guy, she doesnt bother. She has a pisces venus so this aspect acts like a filter so she doesnt make the mistakez i do (i have a pisces venus too so i tend to date bad people who are more hassle than theyre worth).

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jacque
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posted January 04, 2010 12:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
I still haven't figured this out. It's not easy. I still don't know how to deal with this opposition n it keeps causing me problems. Ms Candeh described my condition accurately.

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changchiu
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posted January 04, 2010 01:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for changchiu     Edit/Delete Message
my moon aries opposite to my venus in libra also their houses are opposite.moon in 4 th house.and venus in 10 th house..it is like hot-cold mix.and sometimes people see me as unbalanced and absurd..it hard situation;also i balance my feelings always my most of time i can not..so I decided to swim with river;i dont behave what it shoul be or i dont plan so much.i adapt myself people and environment...

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Lara
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From: aspideronmars
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posted January 04, 2010 01:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
I have moon cj venus exact in aries and i had to teach myself boundaries and what to express and what not to.

The only way i could do is was to find myself first in a big way before i attempted to understand another, simply because my emotions were so tied into love and creative expression. It's hard but it's very possible.

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Belage
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posted January 04, 2010 10:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Belage     Edit/Delete Message
In theory, you could try to find the midpoint between the opposite planets and see how you can understand and actualize its quality in your life. The midpoint is where these planets meet, so there lies - maybe- the way to resolve the conflict.

I have not done it, however I have a couple of oppositions in my chart, and I will try to practice this and see if it works for me. That's my new year resolution.

ETA: in your case, I am not sure of the exact degrees of your opposite planets, but its midpoint seems to lie somewhere in Libra. So you might want to read up on Moon and Venus in Libra and see if you can learn something from it.

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StarrofVenusGirl
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posted January 04, 2010 11:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarrofVenusGirl     Edit/Delete Message
I share the same aspect as Hikoro...Moon in Taurus opposition Venus in Scorpio, although my opposition is by sign, not degree.

Relationships aren't easy no matter who you are or what your placements. They take a lot of work, regardless. Finding fulfillment begins within the self. Once you are FULL and FILLED with self love, then you will attract the ideal partner to you.

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Agent_009
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posted January 05, 2010 01:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Agent_009     Edit/Delete Message
JACQUE,
I could totally relate with you on that one!! I have Moon sq. Venus...and I'm always the one getting shafted in personal relationships.

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jacque
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posted January 05, 2010 03:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jacque     Edit/Delete Message
thanx every1 for your replies. I appreciate it.

StarrofVenusGirl, you said, "Once you are FULL and FILLED with self love, then you will attract the ideal partner to you."

I hope you are right but it's difficult to be filled with self love when u've been rejected so many times on so many different levels by the ppl closest to you.

I see ppl with Libra rising n other good aspects, they have no issues in social relationships at all. Ppl r eating out of their hands n they don't even hv to try. It doesn't seem fair, especially considering the ones I know r some of the most unbelievably selfish ppl I've met. They use the blessings of their aspects to get what they want, irrespective of how it hurts other ppl.

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popcorn
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posted January 05, 2010 04:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for popcorn     Edit/Delete Message
"Once you are FULL and FILLED with self love. , then you will attract the ideal partner to you" Don't say so. It only get people feel guilty and bad if they not get any love in there life. Because full and filled of self love are an utopi. We are only people with bad and good feelings. God or bad days.

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