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Author
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Topic: Pluto in synastry = hell?
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jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 03:29 AM
 
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slowpoke
Knowflake Posts: 180
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 04:43 AM
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Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 1501
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 05:29 AM
Dear Jaque
THIS is not astrological--but I have a feeling you will get back.
I have not looked at the charts yet but I will even though i am not very good.
When I read it and there was the juncture of "all or nothing"--I feel like you WILL get back.
Please keep posting about the situation!
Ami
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jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 06:18 AM
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jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 06:18 AM
I'm actually about to break it off in a few hours when we meet .. seems like after what happened recently, there's no other way .. A change in his behaviour is necessary. I can't be treated like this any more .. I'm quite depressed coz I do not know if I'm doing the right thing. It just feels like I have to do this .. I can't take it anymore. AmiAnn, u said "get back" .. meaning get back together? I really don't know .. yes please have a look and let me know .. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 1501
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 06:44 AM
Dear Jaque
This is a feeling(intuition) and I could be wrong,of course.
I think that,in the end,you will get back.
That does NOT mean not to break up now, though.
You sound like you must--for your mental health.
You need to mourn and grieve--right now- all that you have been though with him and also the present situation with him.
When you grieve, grieve like he is not coming back.
In the end, I think he will but your grieving is usually grief about deeper,primal issues as well as him.
Let yourself go there and you will heal deep wounds that are deeper than your relationship with him.
x o x Ami
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jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 07:27 AM
thank you AmiAnn. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 1501
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 08:31 AM
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slowpoke
Knowflake Posts: 180
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 08:39 AM
Hi jacque,The influences of Pluto could lead one to become possessive. If the aspects to Pluto are favorable then, the possessiveness is felt as deep feelings of attachment, this is your case. Time will help you heal.
The causes supporting the breakdown of the union can be found in the squares you shared. If we put the Synastry aspects you have into color codes, we are able to notice the collection of squares in the union better. I placed the aspects you gave into color code. green - Sun Sextile Neptune
green - Mercury Sextile Neptune
green - Saturn Sextile Venus
3 red - Sun Square Sun
red - Sun Square Uranus
red - Mercury Square Sun
red - Mercury Square Uranus
red - Mars Square Venus
red - Jupiter Square Ascendant
red - Neptune Square Moon
7 black - Mars Square Sun
black - Mars Square Uranus
2 yellow - Sun Trine Pluto
yellow - Mercury Trine Pluto
yellow - Mars Trine Pluto
yellow - Jupiter Trine Mars
yellow - Jupiter Conjunction Midheaven
yellow - Saturn Conjunction Saturn
yellow - Uranus Conjunction Sun
yellow - Uranus Trine Moon
yellow - Uranus Conjunction Uranus
yellow - Neptune Conjunction Neptune
yellow - Pluto Conjunction Pluto
11 Here is my train of thought on how to best weight your own relationships objectively. The most important thing to focus on are your aspects. So for now, disregard your charts. The Synastry aspects are the fuel that make the relationship work, without them you have no relationship. List all of your aspects and then color code them. Make all Oppositions – light blue
Make all Conjunctions and Trines – yellow
Make all Sextiles – light green
Make all Squares – red Color the minor aspects any color you like with one of the colors above or don't color them at all. Color these aspects – black S (90, 180) MR
Sun (90, 180) Pluto
Moon (90, 180) Mars
Moon (90) Saturn
Moon (180) Pluto
MY (90) MR
VE (90, 180) SA
Mars (90, 180) Mars, Saturn, Uranus, Pluto and Asc.
MR (180) NP The blue aspects are good around good aspects and bad around bad aspects. If you like, you can include certain Conjunctions as blue or red instead. Count up the colors and see what you get. Then the yellow and green should be added together; and the red and blacks should be added together, count the blues and keep separated. The thing about astrology is that you can not change the planet positions and their aspects to each other. What you get, is what you get. Aspect influences do not cancel each other out, they coexist simultaneously. So, astrologically speaking, before one begins worrying about the particulars, it is wise to see if the relationship is worth worrying about. If the green and yellow out number the red and black by twice as much or more, the relationship shows the potential to be a good one. The frosting on the cake (so to speak) would be favorable aspects to Moon, Mercury, Venus and or, Jupiter.
Aspects To Live For:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/202766.html
Slowpoke
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la_sexorcisto
Knowflake Posts: 131
From: wat
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 09, 2010 12:00 PM
pluto is only effective in synastry if one or both people are already heavily pluto influenced. otherwise you would have hellish synastry with everyone of that generation. i am a heavily pluto influenced person (venus in scorp, first house, ASC scorp with pluto in scorp smack dab on my ASC, pluto aspects my sun) and i only notice synastry pluto when it's conjuncting my ASC. otherwise, it is the personal planets that have far more significant influence. IP: Logged |
jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 11, 2010 03:58 AM
here's the surprising thing: I tried to break it off & he refused!! ... ?! he didn't accept it .. got very very angry .. it turned into an hour long discussion in which things of the past were brought up .. it was a fight .. he thought breaking it off right now was ridiculous. I don't know if it's love or a hidden agenda .. I don't trust his reasons .. I don't know if he's planning a different way of letting go in the near future .. but right now .. we're still together.seeing our aspects above .. I've always had one question which I hope someone can answer: who is more obsessed with whom? IP: Logged |
jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 11, 2010 04:12 AM
thanks slowpoke. what I see is:
16 squares - red
2 squares - black
5 opps - light blue
21 conjunct + trines - yellow
15 sextiles - light green Total: 18 not good , 36 good. So the good aspects seem to outnumber the bad ones.
la_sexorcisto: We are both heavily pluto influenced. I think ur observation abt pluto in synastry is correct. I have pluto aspects with some other ppl but I do not feel the same way about them.
can anyone answer my above question? I would not know how to look for that myself. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 1501
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 11, 2010 05:49 AM
Just a feeling Jaque---not based on Astrology cuz I am not good enough ---I don't think he is messing with you.
Whatever is going on, he is NOT trying to intentionally play with your head or something of that sort.
My life experience is that if one person feels tremendous drawing to another as YOU describe, the other feels it ,too.
I think the fact that he did NOT want to let go confirms that
That is just my gut feeling and life experience .
x o x Ami
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MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 688
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 11, 2010 08:10 PM
Great sharing on this thread, everyone. Excellent information for All. Good Work.
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jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 13, 2010 12:17 AM
can anyone offer any more astrological advice on my situation? I would really appreciate it any clarity on it since I'm not sure of anything anymore .. I'm not sure I'm seeing things clearly. Thanks in advance.IP: Logged |
mercuranian
Knowflake Posts: 210
From: the 12th house
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 13, 2010 03:36 AM
what is your gut telling you to do? It's really that simple.IP: Logged |
Dreamy_AriesGirl
Knowflake Posts: 28
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 13, 2010 07:21 AM
I think the best thing you can do is to take your time. Do what your gut feeling tells you to. Dont let him influence you. I can understand your fear of losing him...i went through something similar not a long ago, so i know... but the most important is to take care of yourself. Scorpio's can be manipulative when they whant to protect themselves... don't give him power to hurt you. Transit pluto is exactly opposing your Moon, so no wonder why you're in fear and feeling obsessed. But it also trine your Chiron, so
you're given the opportunity to heal. About Pluto transiting Moon http://www.cafeastrology.com/plutotransits.html
"Habits that spring from deeply ingrained fears are brought to the fore, and Pluto challenges you to face them, as well as to examine your deepest attachments--to people, things, conditions, and attitudes. It's very hard to listen to reason during this period of your life--even your own! You may find yourself acting clingy, jealous, possessive, and suspicious. Emotions that you may have never been in touch with, particularly of a darker, obsessive, or primal quality, come bursting forth. There is always some level of paranoia associated with hard Pluto transits, and the things you are paranoid about generally are the very fears that you are called upon to face. With the Moon involved, these fears have to do with significant women in your life, personal habits, emotional patterns, and the home and domestic life. Your attachments to these things may be challenged now. "  IP: Logged |
jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 13, 2010 01:15 PM
I came to astrology looking for answers. That's why I was hoping someone could shed light on our charts. IP: Logged |
jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 13, 2010 01:35 PM
my attachments are certainly being challenged. Is it worth being attached to people like this? more n more I'm thinking I deserve better.IP: Logged |
jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 13, 2010 01:46 PM
thanks for replying to my thread everyone. ur support in this dark time means a lot to me.IP: Logged |
jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 18, 2010 09:27 AM
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jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 18, 2010 09:53 AM
Lonake mentioned in earlier posts that Pluto was conjuncting our Composite Sun and Saturn was squaring the Composite Sun.What does that involve? what should be done in this situation? I find no description for these transits to a Composite chart. Can anyone offer an explanation of these transits to a Composite Chart? IP: Logged |
jacque
Knowflake Posts: 166
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted April 19, 2010 09:03 AM
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Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 1437
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2010 05:22 PM
Jacque  I am so sorry I didn't see this topic before come up again on the page! I would definitely have replied if I had,
How are you feeling? I do remember looking @ the chart, and seeing Pluto heavily affecting relationship pts both in your natal and in the composite. quote:
I'm quite depressed coz I do not know if I'm doing the right thing. It just feels like I have to do this .. I can't take it anymore.
Pluto change *can* be incredibly depressing, but you're making space for GOOD THINGS to come to you. Please remember that. You're making space for evolving @ a deeper level, a space for being more grateful of any thing that will fill this empty spot and in so doing the next experience you have will be RICHER and so much more fulfilling.Ok, I'm writing this as I'm reading the posts I missed here,
quote:
He was my best friend. He was the one person I could depend on
This I think was not an ideal situation, which is OK I suppose, but you did give him a lot of power, it's true. This is the time to take it back. Think about you and what's good for you, I know that other people matter here too, but who is going to take care of you? quote:
I've never even been this attached to anyone before .. but right now I'm gripped with all these emotions .. it's insane
Pluto/Moon by nature will tear apart what you were dependent on in the past and it's necessary to learn self-nurturing once and for all. It's so scary, I know, I have Moon sq Pluto, plus Moon conj Ic, and it took me yrs and I was v.afraid. And right now you prob don't see how much better things could be and it may take a while but you will be stronger than before and have your own power. It's your choice really do you want to develop your own or give it away, do you want your partner in control of your life. quote:
As for the healing, I'm not sure how .. where do I begin?
Anything you can do to comfort yourself, positive things you can do, when emotionally you want to run to someone to hold you. Right now there won't be anyone there likely. This is the worst of it, the time spent agonizing just wanting it all back, wanting everything from the past to come back to life, and it can't, it won't. It is like a death, you can treat this exactly as if he had passed on. Go through any grief counseling, read books on bereavement, get in touch down deep with your loss because if you try to slide by it and cover it up later on it will explode right in front of you with a major depression, or some such psychological disturbance, poss. needing hospitalization. Keep in touch with the pain, the worst you could do right now would be to act like it doesn't exist. quote:
I did face my fear of losing him by trying to let him go .. that was the hardest most nerve wracking thing I've ever done. After I did it, there was a kind of release in that .. I thought that was the end but strangely it wasn't, he wouldn't have it, I still don't trust his reasons for not letting go .. I don't trust him at all.
This is him still trying to keep you in his grip, the control. quote:
more n more I'm thinking I deserve better.
You do. Clearing that space will bring something better to you.IP: Logged |
Lonake
Knowflake Posts: 1437
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 19, 2010 05:22 PM
quote:
thanks for replying to my thread everyone. ur support in this dark time means a lot to me.
Jacque, I feel for all that you're going through, you have my support quote:
he suddenly got really angry and said that I wud always be doubting him
Ooh this guy is bugging the **** outta me. He wants it to be that HE'S the one to call it quits. NOT YOU, since he reacted badly to your wanting out. This is control, manipulation that is so ugly I don't even know what else to say about it. Jacque, please do yourself a favor. You're putting yourself through the ringer. You deserve respect and sincerity. quote:
later that night, he smsd saying we were cool and not to worry. sigh. but we still haven't spoken.
More manipulative tactics. I've been there, don't fall for it, keep strong. He's using the outbursts to get you where he wants you. quote:
Lonake mentioned in earlier posts that Pluto was conjuncting our Composite Sun and Saturn was squaring the Composite Sun. What does that involve? what should be done in this situation? I find no description for these transits to a Composite chart. Can anyone offer an explanation of these transits to a Composite Chart?
Sure, Pluto means complete overhaul. The relationship as it stands now is dead. This can be literally or figuratively. Literally = a clean break. Figuratively = a complete 180 in how the partners relate to each other, this is hard. Actually both avenues are very rough. The changes incurred need to be swift and above all honest. Saturn square points to shaky ground and insecurities, it's a leash that says "hold on try to give it another go tho it may be hard". Saturn says stick to your responsibilities. That is the crutch of the matter. That square. quote:
that I needed to change the way I was .. I'm angry with the world, if I didn't change he cudn't invest in this anymore
OK. Let me think about this. You stated you 2 hardly never argue, and now that you're being honest about what you're experiencing he says you're all of a sudden a vile person? quote:
I also feel like maybe he's using my issues to his advantage
This is a possibility considering his previous behavior.
quote:
ppl always choose what's important to them n if u're not on the list, u're not.
This is absolutely true. Your actions tell the world your priorities.
quote:
you know it's strange but I feel free ... I hope I'm not depressed tomorrow or few months down the line .. but right now, I just feel free.
This is awesome.Write back and let us know how things go IP: Logged |
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