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Author
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Topic: Need some insight
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eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 09:54 AM
 
You think I could throw a bat at him next week? I think I would have a good defence!I died a millions deaths well before I found out he was getting married. I expected the marriage and looked hard at how I was feeling about it and think I was OK. It was the lack of respect in not telling me. After all we had been through to let me find out that way, and hurt me in a way that I don't think can be repaired? And now I have to sit in front of him and be professional and not show how much he hurt me. I can do it (I'm a Scorpio) but it's going to take some mental preparation. IP: Logged |
starkiss1
Knowflake Posts: 412
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 10:17 AM
Hi, Kscorp, you are saying you never had an argument before with your friend. May be it's because you are not in a relationship with him?
Being friends is different from being and living with this person side by side. Try this link for Mars Pluto aspects.
http://www.skyviewzone.com/aboutsvz.htm IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 749
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 10:22 AM
You think I could throw a bat at him next week? I think I would have a good defence!I died a millions deaths well before I found out he was getting married. I expected the marriage and looked hard at how I was feeling about it and think I was OK. It was the lack of respect in not telling me. After all we had been through to let me find out that way, and hurt me in a way that I don't think can be repaired? And now I have to sit in front of him and be professional and not show how much he hurt me. I can do it (I'm a Scorpio) but it's going to take some mental preparation. ______________________________________________
Eskimo
I honestly cannot imagine the pain I would have in your situation.
I know that my Scorpio influences(Ascendent and 8th house stellium) make me all or nothing in love.
I want all or I will say Good bye.
It will hurt but I will do it.
Ami
PS Do you have a current love relationship?
IP: Logged |
starkiss1
Knowflake Posts: 412
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 10:46 AM
Hi, Eski, how are you these days?
Big hug, Kiss.  IP: Logged |
starkiss1
Knowflake Posts: 412
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 10:50 AM
http://www.cafeastrology.com/
Kscorp, here is another link, have a look atAspects Between Charts  IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 749
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 11:56 AM
Hi K scorp
When you wrote--it did not leave your e mail address.
I could not write back.
Try again or if you want to leave it here--I will check back and forth.IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 12:29 PM
Ami - you have felt pain far worse than I, I know that.My pain was very real, but I also knew it would diminish. Now it just pops up occasionally. No, no current love interests - I had no interest until recently. As you say, love is all or nothing for me, and that makes it hard. I know I will find it again some day, I have faith in that. I am a bit maudlin today, it's not like me. K - I am not doing a very good job of helping here, am I? I don't think there is anything you can do to crystallise the relationship, otherwise it would have happened before now. You have told him how you feel, so you will never live with that regret. I don't know what else to suggest??
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Kaleidescorp
Knowflake Posts: 25
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 25, 2010 01:34 PM
eskimono - That had to be so hard. I can't imagine going through something like that. Is it possible that he didn't tell you because he was afraid of how hurt you would be? I know my virgo friend seems to pick up on my moods very easily and at times if he feels something he has said has caused me to be hurt, he feels that very deeply. Nothing excuses that behavior though. And I can't imagine how you are going to handle seeing him again after that. I guess in true scorpio fashion, keep the feelings deep and hidden. I know when my virgo guy was involved (and after I had realized my feelings for him) when I was around the two of them, I would somehow separate from my emotions, or suspend them in some way, to enjoy my time with him, but to not let him (or her) see the depth of what I felt. But then again, after something like what you've been through, I think my stinger would want to come out and play. IP: Logged |
Kaleidescorp
Knowflake Posts: 25
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 25, 2010 01:37 PM
Hi starkiss - Yes, my virgo friend and I have never had an argument. We see eye to eye on just about everything. And yes, I'm sure that being in an intimate relationship with him, there would be some disagreements, but I'm not sure what they would be over. lol Thanks for the link, I'll look it over.IP: Logged |
Kaleidescorp
Knowflake Posts: 25
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 25, 2010 01:38 PM
Looking forward to hearing from you Ami Ann. IP: Logged |
Kaleidescorp
Knowflake Posts: 25
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 25, 2010 01:42 PM
eskimono - Thanks for your comment regarding crystalizing the relationship. I think I know that what you've said is true. I just need to somehow let go of what I feel for him, but it seems that I just fall deeper and deeper. I've never fully given my heart to anyone before, let anyone in this deep, until him and I don't know how to get him back to the surface. I don't want it to damage our friendship, but sometimes I become fearful that it will given how deeply I feel. I can get pretty intense with my emotions, and he seems to enjoy that intensity, but who knows? Maybe he's just being nice to a friend.IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 01:54 PM
K - totally agree.I also have the ability to completely detach from my emotions in order to be able to deal with something. They are there, neatly fenced off, to be dealt with at another time. To the extent that it can scare even me how cool I can be. So I know I will be able to deal with next week. I think that's what I meant about communication problems - I think my ability to take my emotions out of the day to day relationship was very confusing to him. He had been hurt deeply in the past, and I think he could never be sure of how I felt. To me, if I say it I mean it. But I can see that this may not be enough for others. He seemed to try and show how he felt, but never talked about it. I think we both continued to misunderstand each other, each opening up at different times, but in ways that didn't quite connect. That's why I think a 'real' relationship would have been a disaster. We were intimately linked on a mental level, and even possibly on a psychic level, but could not make that emotional connection work for us. I am just really sad that he has now broken something so special. But maybe that's for the best. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 749
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:06 PM
Got it K scorp! I will write later. You can erase it. AmiIP: Logged |
Kaleidescorp
Knowflake Posts: 25
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted March 25, 2010 02:15 PM
eskimono - I can relate to the communication difficulty. It seems that before I had mentioned to my virgo what my feelings were, he always maintained some distance and would do his disappearing acts. It seemed that while we were friends, he was uncertain of me and my feelings. It was after I began hinting at feelings that he began getting closer to me and stopped disappearing. And when I finally told him up-front what I was feeling, well he became even closer. However, he doesn't talk about his feelings either, but rather tries to show people how he feels. "Actions speak louder than words" is the old adage, and I try to remember that. But I begin to question it because sometimes people can act a certain way, but be thinking something totally opposite from what they are showing. I'd rather he come right out and say "I love you as a friend" or "I'm in love with you too" so that I can stop mentally analyzing everything in the process. I know that he says what he means, and means what he says, but when he says nothing at all, what does that mean? It'll be hard putting some distance there, but maybe I should. I've gotten used to having him around.IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1990
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:20 PM
i don't know kiddo, i have tied myself up for years waiting for certain things to happen the way i wanted them too. now i look back and can truly say, i'm glad that didn't work how i wanted it too. ...my life is better now than it would have been had i been given what i wanted on a silver platter....but ultimately, (then) what i had to do to get myself past it, is think about what i wanted out of life. and then think about how much time i was willing to spend waiting for something to turn into what i want it to be. when i think about how life is so short, and how much time i was willing to spend spinning my wheels and not getting where i wanted to be...i actually tried to set time limits on myself about it too. like you can feel bad for this amount of time and then make myself move on, even if inside i didnt feel like it.just like eskimoo may feel like she is dying inside, the best thing for her to do, is wash her face, put on a smile and say, his loss, eat your heart out looking at me everyday buddy..cuz you are the one who missed out. all the while she may be fighting the urge to put buggars on his phone mouthpiece or rub his pens on her butt when he isn't looking. as a matter of fact, if that what you have to do to laugh and feel a little better inside, i highly recommend it. then every time he talks he can eat your nose and you can smile even bigger knowing you didnt miss a thing..he missed out on your awesomeness. see, the older you get, you realize time is your most precious commodity. most valuable assett. then you realize what you do with it becomes more important to you. hope it helps in some small way, and i will not think one ounce less of you if you do the buggar thing. in fact. it would make me proud. IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:22 PM
That's why I found this interesting - our stories feature the same sun signs with the same problems. I accept that astrology is not that simple, but there must be something in it.It does not sound like yours is quite the lost cause mine was though. Perhaps post a new thread with the natals and synastry charts - and ask for feedback - that might get some more interest. This board is for the serious astrologers! They wow me with their knowledge. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1990
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:25 PM
its the little things in life... whats a buggar here or there? IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:32 PM
I am SO going to do that next week. Before the meeting. I know then that I'll keep thinking about it and laughing. He'll ask me why I'm laughing and I'll say 'me laughing? no I'm just sooooooo happy'. Actually I liked the pen one better, it made me lol.I am with you on that CPN - I always find if I put my smile on, it only takes a couple of hours before it becomes real. It's like magic really. Ignore me today, I am feeling unusually down. Really, it is odd for me. I have just ducked out of 'ladies night' tonight. But really I should go, shouldn't I? Oh CPN - you are like a stiff........breeze. IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1990
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:34 PM
good girl! chin up! things will turn out better than you wanted, you wait and see! if you skip girls night this week so you can stay home feeling bad, MAKE yourself go next week. girlfriends have a way of lightening the load. IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:36 PM
I told myself I was over this a year ago - and I think I was. It's just the not telling me, and then this meeting....it's like he has that power back.Honestly, cross-my-heart, that pen thing is going to help. A power game all of my very own! IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1990
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:42 PM
yeah, it wont hurt to wear a skirt and some sexy shoes and drop something when you get right past his desk too, and bend over and pick it up slowly...thinking eat your heart out buddy...can't touch this! (hammer time..) call your cell phone from your office phone, look at it and sigh, him again?...and push the silencer... work it, work it...make yourself find humor in it. it will pass! and the memories will be awesome! (crap, i really miss PA) IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1990
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:47 PM
lilith never laid underneath a man!
i can't see her waiting around for one either. my lillith tells me all of the things I said are perfectly acceptable.
IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner
Knowflake Posts: 1990
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:47 PM
before anyone thinks how mean..blah blah blah..pelase consider you get more germs touching a door knob than a butt rub on a pen or a buggar would ever give. perfectly harmless feel better stuff.IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:51 PM
CPN - I know you do this for love, but you really could make this kind of therapy pay!!Now, every time I see him put 'the pen' in his mouth, 'hammer time' will play in my head. I am not going to be able to keep it straight. IP: Logged |
eskimono
Knowflake Posts: 282
From: uk
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted March 25, 2010 02:53 PM
lilith rocksIP: Logged |
Lindaland
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