posted June 27, 2010 01:03 AM            

"If he honestly did not care, he would've just left it alone"

I feel that way too...but then again people do strange things when it comes to facebook. I take the stance that I don't delete as it takes time for me to shuffle through and do it. I know people who do facebook purges...but they usually don't delete exes unless they are right on the heels of a breakup with them, are trying to get over them, or the ex in question is crazy (such as in your case). Usually in like all the people I know (myself including) we don't delete months after you break up unless we are angry. I actually think he and I have come full circle...the problems we had in the very first instance were facebook related.

posted June 27, 2010 01:16 AM            

Ok - I wanted to ask, was there a change in his behaviour to being colder or indifferent after you had sex? Was there any change for the negative?

posted June 27, 2010 01:28 AM            

Yes and no...there was a change...for the better then the worse.

Before we slept together he kinda got a little fickle about seeing me. He wanted to hang out with his friends. Then we were hanging out alot, and things were fine. Then we slept together. Things were really good for like the next three days (it was over christmas break and he was out of town). He texted me everyday told me he missed me was there emotionally right after until about a week to two weeks after, then he got distant. I could sense it. It actually was the day I told him about the facebook status thing. He still text me everyday to every two days, but it was about various things. Like we'd talk back and forth most of the day, and he text me about his father telling him he was worthless or a piece of crap because he didn't graduate on time (he's an alcoholic).

I asked him about this distance, and he told me he started to feel dependent or need for me and when he does that he tries to find ways out. Then he finds reasons why I wasn't the one for him. And me saying I wanted to see him (when he got back after break) meant I was needy. And wrong for him. But then he said he knew logically I wasn't needy.

"The fact that he detached while in college and deleted you only later.. sounds like he didn't want to have to explain this to you, if he bumped into you - so he waited until college was over"

Oh you're probably right. I actually have been thinking this all along. He thinks I'm moving away next month so I'm out of his hair now. Rather than just saying he didn't want to actually deal with me, he waited until he didn't have to see me. He even accepted a graduation gift I got him two months ago, and I was one of the only people who got him a birthday gift (his other friend a guy got him a handle of Jack), and we made out at my schools downtown are before graduation. Then then he wouldn't answer my call to see him before he left after the makeout session. (I knew he would freak out...but I wasn't sure how much he would have). But I saw him at his apartment complex and that's when he said we weren't compatible as friends and that things are awkward between us and he doesn't know why.

posted June 27, 2010 01:28 AM            

I don't delete ex's/friends that I'm upset with but I have tons of Saggy energy and I truly believe I can be friends with anybody.

But my mother said it would be the first thing she would of done... delete someone after she's been hurt. Doesn't matter the person or the situation... She has tones of Scorpio/8th house energy.

posted June 27, 2010 01:48 AM            

I think this...

quote:

---

he told me he started to feel dependent or need for me and when he does that he tries to find ways out

---

.. makes sense. I think he did feel a connection with you, as you are both earthy & watery. Like I was saying in my first post, I like your synastry. He probably got scared and detached. So maybe "player" was not the best way to put it..
Subconsciously, it's possible he thought: "sexual challenge", but I don't think this was a premeditated thing (as I made it out to be earlier)
Once he got to know you, it's more likely he was running away from his own feelings.

I'm sorry this happened. I can tell it really upsets you. I have Taurus Venus (11th) as well - as you know, and I like staying friends with people.

racole -

quote:

---

Some people are just not emotional immature enough to drop their ego and work on the issue and a lot of people just don't want to...

---

posted June 27, 2010 02:04 AM            

That seems to reflect his t-square of Uranus square Moon-Jupiter opposition.

remember that Moon has to do with emotional needs,women
Jupiter is the planet of expansion,freedom
Uranus is the planet of independence,detachment

All aspects in that t-square are within 1 degree orb.
That's a close t-square. so close that it has not just 1 corresponding midpoint picture

it has 3 corresponding midpoint pictures:
Uranus oppose Moon/Jupiter - '41
Jupiter sesquiquadrate Moon/Uranus - '27
Moon sesquiquadrate Jupiter/Uranus - '14

I think that it's hard for a person with a t-square like that to be emotionally close without being afraid that he/she being too close to the point that he/she feels that his/her freedom and independence is threatened, and so they detach.

the t-square is mutable ,and so it's very restless,changeable, and adaptable

Not all Solar Aquarians are like this guy

This t-square separates him from many Solar Aquarians like my Solar Aquarian gal pal and her Solar Aquarian husband. They are not like him.

I am very sure that there are Solar Aquarians that are members of this forum that aren't like him.

also he also has Sun conjunct Mars/Uranus midpoint from his Sun being sextile his Mars and Uranus are in trine to each other

You're much better off with another guy. He can have Sun in Aquarius, but I don't think that you do well with a guy that has Moon in hard aspect to Uranus or Jupiter let alone hard aspects to both

You might want somebody that has a Moon-Saturn aspect like you for emotional need for security and stable emotional nature

This guy does not have a stable emotional nature and doesn't have that need for security........not with that close orbed Moon,Jupiter,Uranus t-square

he has a strong need for independence,freedom,change...a novelty seeker.

if you want a guy that has Moon,Jupiter,Uranus configuration for some excitement,unconventionality,progressiveness,

a guy with a Moon,Jupiter,Uranus grand trine or minor grand trine might be fine for you.

I wish you all the best.

It's best for you to move on. You will find a much better guy for you. That guy isn't right for you.

------------------
Raymond Andrews,
President,Executive Director of Developmental Neurodiversity Association
Supporting the Neurodiversity Movement

posted June 27, 2010 08:48 PM            

Glaucus...I thought he actually did have a Square to Saturn as well. Not a close one (like mine Moon Pluto Square isn't close mine is 7 degrees I believe...BUT DEFF does effect me...in fact I think its one of the strongest things about my chart).

But I deff saw that. I believe that his is 6 degrees. Which I deff saw in him. The need for security but also the need for excitement and spontenity. Plus he has that semisquare to Pluto. Even though it is a minor aspect. I can deff see that in him as well. I am very hurt by this. I even wondered if he did it because he has another gf and didn't want me to see it. But then again I don't think he would do that (and I thought that maybe that's why he answered and then hung up). I don't know. I am trying to move on from this and literally find a way to stop caring about him. It's hard though. And yeah Dynamite our synastry was really good...so it sucks...I think our Jupiter aspects were what got me...that's why I ALWAYS forgave him. Even now I'm not angry at him, I'm really just mad and hurt.

And yeah Glaucus I do need to find a guy that has different aspects because I saw his need for security but also his fear of it, but I never thought it would manifest itself to this point.

"Once he got to know you, it's more likely he was running away from his own feelings."

posted June 27, 2010 09:17 PM            

I don't use more than 5 degree orb for conjunction,opposition,square,and trine.
That's why I didn't mention Moon square Saturn.

"But I deff saw that. I believe that his 6 degrees. Which I deff saw in him. The need for security but also the need for excitement and spontenity."

That could also be the Moon though.

Moon has to do with emotional needs and it is a security-oriented object.
The Moon is in opposition to Jupiter.
Opposition can be teeter-totter aspect. He can be emotionally needy, but then later on,he wants freedom. Also...Uranus squaring that opposition. The emotional needs are in conflict with independence,change,excitement.
Moon oppose Jupiter also projects - from his expansive Jupiter standpoint, he can attract the lunar security-oriented types and he might view them as needy. From a emotional need for security standpoint, he can attract the jovial freedom loving types,and he might view them as wandering types.
That's how oppositions tend to work.

" Plus he has that semisquare to Pluto. Even though it is a minor aspect."

I don't use no more than 1 degree orb for semisquares to dwarf planets like Pluto.

He already has an aspect that shows high degree intensity.

His Pluto conjuncts/oppose the Midheaven/Imum Coeli axis with only 28 minutes of arc.

That indicates that intensity,transformation merge with his aim of life,career and at odds with his domestic environment,background,roots,unconscious. Imum Coeli is the cusp of the 4th house which is associated with Cancer which is ruled by the Moon.

The Midheaven/Imum Coeli axis is actually the most personal,time-sensitive point. The Cosmobiologists and Uranian Astrologers view the Midheaven (taking Imum Coeli into account) as the individual,"the I",ego-consciousness. Therefore, they would view Pluto conjunct Midheaven as strong major life theme with Pluto's energy being very pervasive.

but his Pluto is connected to the Moon via midpoint picture

His Pluto conjunct Moon/Ceres midpoint with 36 minutes of arc.

That means that intensity,transformation combines with the integration of emotional nature,feelings and nurturing.

both Pluto and Ceres are dwarf planets,and so they are equals.

" I can deff see that in him as well. I am very hurt by this. I even wondered if he did it because he has another gf and didn't want me to see it. But then again I don't think he would do that (and I thought that maybe that's why he answered and then hung up). I don't know. I am trying to move on from this and literally find a way to stop caring about him. It's hard though. And yeah Dynamite our synastry was really good...so it sucks...I think our Jupiter aspects were what got me...that's why I ALWAYS forgave him."

shrugs

I didn't think that the synastry was all that great. That is just my opinion. I thought the synastry was mixed. Many astrologers overlook the importance of the Midheaven in a synastry. Cosmobiologists and Uranian Astrologers see Midheaven as most important. They don't like seeing hard aspects between Saturn and Midheaven like you two have. According to Ebertin,
Saturn-Midheaven hard aspect in synastry is interpreted as suffering because of the other, one oppresses the other. There was also the Moon square Mars, Sun square Lunar Nodes, Mercury square Uranus, Sun square Venus (which was aspected by transiting Neptune during the breakup),and Neptune oppose Ascendant. The composite chart was mixed too.

The natal dynamics need to be taken into account which I already talked about.

"And yeah Glaucus I do need to find a guy that has different aspects because I saw his need for security but also his fear of it, but I never thought it would manifest itself to this point. "

That's how the Moon,Jupiter,Uranus t-square works...especially with his being so narrow orb including all aspects being under 1 degree. That's a very strong t-square, and it's a very dominant lifetime theme.

A person with Moon in a t-square will have emotional security issues. With Jupiter, it involves expansion,freedom. With Uranus, it involves freedom,expansion.

His Moon is not only in opposition to Jupiter with only 8 minutes of arc, they contraparallel each other with 19 minutes of arc.
Therefore, he has a Moon-Jupiter occultation. That shows even more emotional need for expansion,freedom.

another thing

His Uranus semisquare Midheaven with 27 minutes of arc.
So independence,innovation,change in irritation with aim of life,career. That is also an indicator of an independent type.
That also means that he has Uranus = Pluto = Midheaven which is a configuration of change,upheaval.

I am a believer in free will.

Even with a challenging synastry,composite, and conflicting natal dynamics, a relationship can still work. It depends on both individuals making it work.

------------------
Raymond Andrews,
President,Executive Director of Developmental Neurodiversity Association
Supporting the Neurodiversity Movement

posted June 27, 2010 10:00 PM            

Yeah...I saw the grand trine of his Moon trine your Moon trine Venus

but I also took into account the natal dynamics
comparing his close orb Moon,Jupiter,Uranus t-square to your Moon sextile Saturn and Moon trine Venus which shows that emotional needs can greatly differ

"I'm not a big person when it comes to reading charts. We did have an Asc and Moon aspect...the conjunction. So I don't think you can discount that Glaucus...I've never had that aspect with anyone, and as far as myself it was quite nice."

If you're talking about your Moon in 24'48 Capricorn conjunct his Ascendant in 19'50 Capricorn. That's barely within 5 degrees.

"Plus if you only use an orb of 5 degrees that would mean that my Moon Square Pluto doesn't exist...and that is VERY prominant in me. So I kinda disagree with that. I'm not thinking a Square of 10 degrees is right, and is quite large...but certainly 6 degrees isn't quite large. Plus from my own experience I do indeed feel my square to Pluto and it's 7 degrees."

I don't use no more than 3 degree orb for natal aspects with Pluto because it's a transneptunian dwarf planet. It's one of over 1,000 transneptunian objects discovered
Pluto was discovered in 1930. Pluto was thought to be as large as Earth until astronomers found it was much smaller than Earth's Moon after calculating the orbit of Pluto's moon,Charon which they found in 1978. Actually Pluto and Chiron are binary dwarf planet system. In 1992, astronomers found another object orbiting beyond Neptune which meant that Pluto wasn't alone in the transneptunian regions. They kept finding more and more objects. Astronomers realized that Pluto was one of many kuiper belt objects in our solar system. They started finding big transneptunian objects in 2000. Then finally astronomers finally found a transneptunian object larger than Pluto in 2005. It led to astronomers finally coming to a definition of a planet which led to the demotion of Pluto and promotion of Ceres. Pluto got the same treatment as Ceres. Ceres was stripped of its planetary status after 40 years because astronomers realized that it was one of many objects called asteroids. Now Pluto is stripped of its planetary status after 70 years because astronomers realize that it was one of many objects called kuiper belt objects, transneptunians. Thanks to Eris, Pluto and Ceres are now equals as dwarf planets along with Eris. Then the transneptunian objects, Makemake and Haumea were classed as dwarf planets. Pluto,Eris,Haumea,and Makemake are now classed as Plutoids which is a classification for transneptunians that are also dwarf planets.

Pluto was discovered during Sun-Neptune opposition/contraparallel which suggests a day of illusion,deception,confusion when Pluto was discovered. Pluto - the illusive planet.

Right now, there are 4 transneptunians classed as dwarf planets
Eris,Pluto,Makemake,and Haumea

then there are over 70 objects that meet dwarf planet criteria

the largest dwarf planet candidates are
are Sedna,Orcus,Quaoar,Varuna,and Ixion.

In the declinations,
You have Pluto contraparallel Midheaven with 13 minutes of arc which is an equivalent of Pluto oppose Midheaven

That means that Pluto is also parallel your Imum Coeli with 13 minutes of arc. That's an equivalent of Pluto conjunct Imum Coeli.
Imum Coeli is 4th house cusp which is associated Cancer which is ruled by the Moon.
Pluto-Imum Coeli can be viewed similar to a Moon-Pluto aspect.

Pluto aspecting Midheaven/Imum Coeli axis is a prominent Pluto aspect any way. Intensity,transformation,regeneration would be a strong theme.

You also have a transneptunian dwarf planet oppose/conjunct your Midheaven/Imum Coeli axis

Haumea is oppose/conjunct your Midheaven/Imum Coeli axis with only 23 minutes of arc.

As a transneptunian dwarf planet, Haumea is an evolutionary intensified object, and so it involves evolutionary intensified lessons/experiences,highly metaphysically oriented object,intense,transformative.

with it oppose your Midheaven, Haumea's energy,themes would be involved your career
with it conjuncting your Imum Coeli, its energy,themes would be involved in your domestic environment,past,unconscious

Haumea is named after the Hawaiian Fertility Creation Goddess http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haumea_%28dwarf_planet%29 http://www.gps.caltech.edu/~mbrown/2003EL61/

------------------
Raymond Andrews,
President,Executive Director of Developmental Neurodiversity Association
Supporting the Neurodiversity Movement

posted June 27, 2010 10:30 PM            

You have Moon conjunct Pluto/Eris midpoint with 38 minutes of arc

this means that your emotional nature,feelings combine with the integration of transformation,regeneration,intensity and diversity,equality,discord

Pluto and Eris are both transneptunian dwarf planets aka Plutoids. Therefore, both objects can actually be intense and transformative. As transneptunian dwarf planets, they are about evolutionary intensification and highly metaphysically oriented.

a lot of people can identify with wide orbed aspects because the planets that they think are in aspect are involved in a midpoint picture.
Robert Hand talks about that in his book, HOROSCOPE SYMBOL.

also keeping in mind that Eris can be an intense,transformative object as dwarf planet,

I noticed that your Eris is conjunct your Moon/Ascendant midpoint with only 2 minutes of arc

that means that diversity,equality,discord,controversy combine with the integration of the emotional nature,feelings and how you approach life,relating to others

I also looked at your planetary nodes

Your Moon conjunct Geocentric South Saturn Node in 24'52 Capricorn with only 4 minutes of arc.

That's a very strong planetary node contact

It means that your emotional nature,feelings merge with collective discipline,structure,restrictions,limitations

with it being South Geocentric Saturn Node, it could involve the past..even a pastlife if you believe in that

Geocentric Saturn Nodes move much slower than outerplanets. They have to do with the collective ....that means that it involves generations. People with strong personal contacts to these nodes can be public figures.

the astronomical reality is that all objects have nodes. It's not only the moon that has nodes. Nodes are just intersection planes of two objects. That's all they are. Therefore all objects floating in space have nodes.
Astronomers record the nodes of the objects that they discover.

Jeffrey Wolf Green uses geocentric planetary nodes in evolutionary astrology

the geocentric planetary nodes of Mercury,Venus,and Mars can be used in synastry. The nodes of asteroids that orbit beyond Mars and Jupiter can too.
Nodes of Juno and Ceres might be something to look at in regards to relationships.

------------------
Raymond Andrews,
President,Executive Director of Developmental Neurodiversity Association
Supporting the Neurodiversity Movement

posted June 30, 2010 09:19 PM            

You haven't done anything.

He is JUST a jerk.
And he has no respect for you as a person and a friend.
I see this as a self-centered Aries Mars behaviour - at its worse.

posted June 30, 2010 11:28 PM            

I don't agree with the way he's been going about it (he's been too indirect) but its pretty clear that he wants no contact so its time you cut your losses and move on.

posted July 01, 2010 08:28 AM            

Girly,
What feels worse than loving someone and they don't return it?
I would pray to put him and your relationship in God's hands.
IF he is supposed to come back --he will.

Ami

posted July 02, 2010 12:17 AM            

I too agree he is deff being a jerk!!! I know he's CLEARLY upset about something, I just don't know what. And I don't think I've done anything either. I'm really just done with him and being passive.

@ Benedict Moon*
Thank you!! You are deff not being harsh, and yes I do agree with you. At this point I've reached my limit...sadly I'm WAY too patient and have a very long leash until I get mad. The reason I pushed again was if I did indeed say anything out of the way to his friend from his standpoint I wanted to apologize for that. I'd hate the idea that I'm being rude or offensive when I didn't intend on being so. So that's why I waited a bit to contact him...usually Virgo Moons can listen to reason, but he's not actually doing that or so it seems.

@ Ami Ann
Thank you as well...I deff do need to just let go...I guess I hoped he'd be less angry or hurt or whatever he is...and would move on but it seems that his way of dealing with this is to not deal with it. But I'm graduating soon, and have to concentrate on where I'm getting in so I deff have to let this go.

@Diana
"omg, it is so obvious that he feels you were playing games and/or lied about trying again"

Mmmm I actually have heard this from like 4 of my friends lol. In all honesty I'd like to not believe this. The reason I did decide to go ahead and move to California is because when I did tell him I wanted to try again...he stayed silent. He didn't say yes or no, we chatted a bit he told me he didn't have a GF, and that me telling him I missed him and wanted to possibly try again didn't make him feel awkward, but he had to go as his friend was waiting. So I took that as a rejection. I was told by an Aquarian Sun/Moon and Venus friend of mine that silence doesn't mean anything, when an Aquarian (or influenced person) doesn't say anything they are thinking. And he'd come back and tell me (his answer) when the time was right. And that when his friend told him I was moving that I was "ending the idea of us, or that his mind was made up to be with me...but I had to actually to have a specific college in mind." And that to an Aquarian it makes perfect sense to not talk, we aren't friends, and aren't together so why keep me on facebook (I'm moving so why talk). He did tell me though this is how a hurt Aquarian behaves...they totally delete you from their life.

posted July 02, 2010 01:31 PM            

quote:

---

Thank you!! You are deff not being harsh, and yes I do agree with you. At this point I've reached my limit...sadly I'm WAY too patient and have a very long leash until I get mad. The reason I pushed again was if I did indeed say anything out of the way to his friend from his standpoint I wanted to apologize for that. I'd hate the idea that I'm being rude or offensive when I didn't intend on being so. So that's why I waited a bit to contact him...usually Virgo Moons can listen to reason, but he's not actually doing that or so it seems.

---

posted July 02, 2010 02:57 PM            

I don't think that he hates you. I think that he's just showing indifference. That requires a detachment and "I don't care about you" attitude. Hate is a strong emotion just like romantic,passionate love is. They are both very personal and can be consuming in different ways. Indifference is like lack of emotion. It's like the person doesn't have to deal with the person because there is no emotion involved.

It's his right for him to choose to not be friends with you. He can totally cut you out of his life, and you can't do anything about it. If you keep contacting him,then you're overstepping his boundaries that he already set. You have to respect his wishes.

Be indifferent to him like he's being indifferent to you.

Then the door will be open for a much better man for you to come into your life because you will have no more feelings for your ex that would block any opportunities of being with somebody.

I wish you all the best.

------------------
Raymond Andrews,
President,Executive Director of Developmental Neurodiversity Association
Supporting the Neurodiversity Movement

posted July 02, 2010 07:26 PM            

quote:

---

You deserve someone with a spine.

---

Well said!

---

posted July 02, 2010 09:45 PM            

I don't think he hates me either...but I do think it's VERY OBVIOUS this isn't indifference. Indifference is not answering the phone, not putting your friend on, not hanging up or even deleting off of facebook, plus I know him and his indifference is deff not that. Indifference is just letting the phone go to voice mail, or deleting messages not physically hanging up the phone. He is acting more angry than anything else. Thats for sure.

posted July 02, 2010 11:11 PM            

quote:

---

VERY OBVIOUS this isn't indifference

---

I completely agree.

When someone disappears and hides this way.. and makes a point out of not speaking to you..

They either feel guilty over something and are too cowardly to face up to this and have a conversation.

Or they have a problem with you and they want to both distance and/or punish.

When someone is indifferent, they don't bother.
I wouldn't bother deleting someone off my FB or making a point out of the phone calls.. unless I was being an immature jerk intentionally.

Indifference is saying: "Please stop calling me. I am not interested in having a friendship any further, but I wish you all the best."

posted July 02, 2010 11:14 PM            

As I said I am not convinced that it's not guilt-based.

posted July 03, 2010 08:01 PM            

Yeah I actually agree with this...he is being this way INTENTIONALLY...I think he is trying to hurt me when I contact him...or at least make an obvious show that he doesn't want to talk to me.

I can see where the guilt would come from of trying to hide something...but there seems to be anger even contempt (the source may or may not be from me moving) especially when he put his friend on the phone to get a good laugh about it. That to me screams anger or contempt not guilt.

And yeah this is pretty obvious that this is deff emotionally based. I've never seen him act this way EVER...he's being really unreasonable. And actually behaving like my Scorpio influenced exes (a double Sag with Venus/Mer in Scorp, and a Scop Venus/Mer in Scorp).

I have known when he has disliked someone and he just has their number go to voice mail, and didn't bother with them.