posted July 04, 2010 12:06 AM            

Ami

posted July 04, 2010 12:59 PM            

I will try to be as honest as possible and not think of the bad...he flat out felt like home. I don't know if that makes sense...but it felt like he was someone I was destined to be with. And yeah he made me feel VERY special...not even by anything he did but just by being there. Plus our backgrounds were so similar. I just found it very hard even now to keep my feelings for him (for better or worse) above board. As strange as this sounds (when we were together) I couldn't deal with him but I also couldn't imagine not dealing with him. My feelings were very intense.

"Also, the third part---how did you feel about him before you slept with him versus after?"

posted July 04, 2010 04:05 PM            

quote:

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"With as much honesty as you can--without rancor etc--what is it about him that makes you so attached?
Can you describe what it is it? Also, how did he make you feel i.e cherished, special etc?"

I will try to be as honest as possible and not think of the bad...he flat out felt like home. I don't know if that makes sense...but it felt like he was someone I was destined to be with. And yeah he made me feel VERY special...not even by anything he did but just by being there. Plus our backgrounds were so similar. I just found it very hard even now to keep my feelings for him (for better or worse) above board. As strange as this sounds (when we were together) I couldn't deal with him but I also couldn't imagine not dealing with him. My feelings were very intense.

"Also, the third part---how did you feel about him before you slept with him versus after?"

I think after I slept with him I felt more fear...like I was terrified I was going to lose him, or he would walk out, or find someone else. He went to his hometown for break and I was soooo paranoid and missed him so much I couldn't deal with it. I hated how I felt. I started to do little things to show I didn't care as much or I started to find reasons why we wouldn't work out. I just had this huge fear of losing him and how I felt...my feelings were very intense for him so I kinda shut off.

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Hi Grly,
I thought you would give that kind of answer. I just know from my own experience lol
He felt like home cuz he was like your childhood home.
You felt like you regained lost things from your childhood--subconsciously.
He made you feel special in a way that someone did NOT but you wanted them too, prolly a parent.
Once that "fit" happens--it is hard to distinguish our past wounds from the current wounds.
IOW, you feel like you will die if he does not want you cuz it replays an older childhood wound where perhaps you WOULD have died.
It opens up an old tape and plays it.
It feels totally real
It feels horrible.
I just went through something like this.
I felt like death was staring me in the face.
When you bonded deeper with sex--it made all the feelings much ,more intense.
If the original wound does not heal--it will get replayed over and over in this same way.
Can you relate to a time in your childhood when you felt the same as you do now?

Ami

posted July 05, 2010 04:34 AM            

quote:

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"Can you relate to a time in your childhood when you felt the same as you do now?"

Actually yeah...everytime my mom went to work I thought she wouldn't come back to get me. So I would freak out. My dad and sister left the same year when I was five so I guess maybe that didn't help things. Since then as far as dating I don't get very attached EVER usually but if I do its very hard for me to get unattached and it takes me FOREVER to get over the person.

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If you want to come on msn we can talk or you can e mail me.
Tell me if you want my e mail and I will leave it.
I can see when I am re-living situations from my childhood.
It is whenever present day situations have a life or death feeling.
We buried the original terror and it comes back when present day things happen like someone leaves us.
Did you have strong Pluto aspects with him?
If so, which ones?

Ami

posted July 05, 2010 01:51 PM            

Ami I do have pretty strong placements with him, and he and I have a ton of Pluto.

As far as the synastry (and I'm going based on Astrodienst.com for the overlay and composite.)

As far as synastry (and this is just in terms of inner planets):
1. DW Sun Pluto aspect
My Pluto is Trine his Sun, his Pluto is also Trine my Sun
2. DW Mer Pluto Aspect
My Pluto is Sesquisquare his Mer, and his Pluto is Square my Mer
3. My Venus Quintile his Pluto
4. DW Mars Pluto aspects
My Pluto is Opp his Mars, his Pluto is Trine my Mars
5. His Pluto is Trine My Asc
6. My Pluto is Conjunct his MC
7. My Pluto is Parallel his Moon
8. My Pluto is Contra Parallel his Mer

The Composite:
1. We have our Composite Moon in Scorpio in the 8th house
2. Sun is Opp Pluto
3. Venus is Sesquisquare Pluto
4. Mars is Quincunx Pluto
5. Composite Pluto is in the 7th house
6. Composite Sat is in the 8th house

I actually had a friend look at my charts in comparision with a few exes of mine and she says its no wonder I feel very "life or death" in regards to him (all this Pluto I guess), and even he said it...we bonded VERY fast and completely and ALL our dealings have been very intense. Even if we aren't talking, plus when we were together he said he was obsessed with me (such a non Aqua thing to say). I'd love to chat with you, I don't have MSN...but I do have email. I'd love to talk on that or if you have Aim or Yahoo I have that as well.

But as far as my childhood I don't remember a lot of it for some reason, but I don't remember feeling this strongly before...I know when my mom did date I always felt she was again going to leave me or forget about me.

posted July 29, 2010 04:41 PM            

The aqua came to my apartment to see me...on saturday. He knocked on my window, and I was asleep and didn't hear it, but my mom saw him leave my place (she was staying with me). I saw his car in the parking lot, and knew he was here, but thought that he was mad at me, so I didn't think anything of it. Plus as far as his friend knows (we live in the next building to each other) I am supposed to be moving out of the apartment this weekend, and graduating. I am graduating, but not moving out of state until school starts next fall...and I found a job in the area.