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Author
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Topic: Rocky Relationship with Parent(s)? Post Your Synastry Here!
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StarrofVenusGirl
Knowflake Posts: 706
From: Down the Rabbit Hole
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 04:10 PM
 
I am interested in some charts of folks who don't get along with one or both parents.My mother and I have a horrible relationship and we fight constantly. It's been like that our whole lives. Which has always fascinated me because she's a Cancer and I thought they were supposed to be really close to their kids. She didn't get along with her mom either, so that's another supposed Cancer trait she doesn't have. I have never felt nurtured by her. When I say we don't get along, I'm not talking about typical parental disagreements. I mean knockdown, drag out fights that result in us not speaking for weeks or months. When we do manage to get along, it's nice, but that only seems to work when I live far away and even then it doesn't last long. She has a much better relationship with my sister. I find my mother to be moody, negative, emotionally abusive at times, and weak-minded. She thinks I am overly sensitive, selfish, stubborn, and inconsiderate. The feeling is mutual. We just don't get each other at all, rub each other the wrong way, and it's always going to be like that. As a matter of fact, we're not speaking now. Here's our synastry, and it's a doozy (I'm inside):  Look at all that red! Her Cancer stellium squares my Libra stellium all over the place. Her Mercury in Gemini pounds on my Neptune in Sagittarius in a tight opposition, and Neptune is my chart ruler. The Saturn aspects are what I'm really interested though, and I'm wondering if others with difficult relationships with parents/children share that. We have horrific Saturn aspects. My Moon in Taurus tightly opposed her retrograde Saturn in Scorpio, said Saturn in a wider square to my Mars, and my Saturn right on her ASC and more widely square her Sun. Truly awful! I was an unplanned pregnancy and she and my dad fought the entire time and when she finally got married the marriage was difficult and abusive, so I'm wondering if there is mutual resentment there: hers with being forced to deal with my dad and mine for never feeling nurtured. Interestingly enough, I was much closer to my grandmother and she's much closer to my son, who is her only grandchild. So that's another generational pattern: challenging mother/daughter relationships + preference for grandchild over child. Surely I can't be the only one enduring this clearly karmic but incredibly difficult parent-child relationship, so post those charts, please. ------------------
My Chart IP: Logged |
soulful122
Knowflake Posts: 63
From:
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 05:21 PM
Starr, I wish I could check out the synastry between my mother and I. It would be interesting, I bet there's a ton of clashes. Back then in Cambodia, they didn't keep records of your DOB. It was to be remembered by your parents, and somewhere along the lines, my grandma had forgotten my mother's (she had 5 children). But as far as my natal chart goes though, my Moon is the only planet afflicted (as far as planet to planet aspects).My Moon..
squares Pluto
quincunx Neptune
contra-parallel Uranus
oppose Jupiter (8-9° though) She physically & emotionally abused me throughout my childhood, every single day was difficult to wake up knowing there would be more drama, more beatings, more yelling, more blame. It felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells. She even told me numerous times that if she ever divorced my dad, she'd leave me with him because she didn't want me. She did everything she could to break my spirit, she never called me by my given name unless there was company over. She claims that 'real abuse' is when your bones break. All the hair pulling, slapping, whipping, pushing/shaking, threatening a child with a knife wasn't 'abuse' in her book. That was back then. She did eventually get help in controlling her anger and tried to be a mother to me, but it was too little, too late, I was in my late teens by then and didn't feel like I needed her anymore. Last year when I grandma passed away, she finally apologized to me, for the first time ever, she admitted that she was cruel and that she was really sorry. I'm slowly but surely gonna let it all go, but it can be so difficult because I still see her from time to time and I feel so much anger boiling underneath. Anyway that's how my Moon played out for me, I really wish I knew her DOB.
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AbsintheDragonfly
Moderator Posts: 927
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 05:27 PM
quote:
Last year when I grandma passed away, she finally apologized to me, for the first time ever, she admitted that she was cruel and that she was really sorry. I'm slowly but surely gonna let it all go, but it can be so difficult because I still see her from time to time and I feel so much anger boiling underneath.
That's a HUGE step for her though! Admitting things is the first part of learning to change! IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 359
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 05:35 PM
This is an interesting thread, but also I'm thinking the child should post their sun and moon signs/houses/aspects too, because that is very telling about the parents aside from the exact synastry. For example my sister and I both do not get along with either of our parents, we are the opposite of everything they are and how they both tried to raise us.
My sister sun is in Leo in the 12th conjunct saturn and square her moon. Her moon is in Scorpio in the 3rd square her saturn 0 deg.
My sun is in Libra in the 6th conjunct pluto 0 deg and loosely square my moon in capricorn in the 8th, my moon is square saturn too and semi square uranus.
They don't call saturn the planet of ill fortune for no reason and we both have afflicted saturn affecting the parental significatorsand sun square moon. I was also molested as a child and that could come from all the pluto/ 8th h/ scorpio theme I have.IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 359
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 05:35 PM
This is an interesting thread, but also I'm thinking the child should post their sun and moon signs/houses/aspects too, because that is very telling about the parents aside from the exact synastry. For example my sister and I both do not get along with either of our parents, we are the opposite of everything they are and how they both tried to raise us.
My sister sun is in Leo in the 12th conjunct saturn and square her moon. Her moon is in Scorpio in the 3rd square her saturn 0 deg.
My sun is in Libra in the 6th conjunct pluto 0 deg and loosely square my moon in capricorn in the 8th, my moon is square saturn too and semi square uranus.
They don't call saturn the planet of ill fortune for no reason and we both have afflicted saturn affecting the parental significatorsand sun square moon. I was also molested as a child and that could come from all the pluto/ 8th h/ scorpio theme I have.IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 359
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 05:36 PM
This is an interesting thread, but also I'm thinking the child should post their sun and moon signs/houses/aspects too, because that is very telling about the parents aside from the exact synastry. For example my sister and I both do not get along with either of our parents, we are the opposite of everything they are and how they both tried to raise us.
My sister sun is in Leo in the 12th conjunct saturn and square her moon. Her moon is in Scorpio in the 3rd square her saturn 0 deg.
My sun is in Libra in the 6th conjunct pluto 0 deg and loosely square my moon in capricorn in the 8th, my moon is square saturn too and semi square uranus.
They don't call saturn the planet of ill fortune for no reason and we both have afflicted saturn affecting the parental significatorsand sun square moon. I was also molested as a child and that could come from all the pluto/ 8th h/ scorpio theme I have.IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 359
From: Texas
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 05:38 PM
Darn! Sorry about the triple post, lol, my comuter is giving me hell right now.IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 2269
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 05:45 PM
(((Star of Venus))) (((Scrappydog))) (((Soulful))) I am sending you Cyber hugs.
You know I get it, from my other thread.
If I can figure out how to post my mothers and my synastry, I will.
x o x Ami ------------------
I am two with nature. Eighth House Stellium IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 391
From: i live in a kitchen
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 05:51 PM
there is the Saturn/Moon thing you speak of for me and my mother too. it took me almost 20 years to find out she is bipolar, and she has left a scar on me big time. i'm trying to be "normal" now. now she declared that she disowns me. i really worked for years and years to come in terms with it. so right now i'm like "whatever". it's time i live my own life. but years ago it was unthinkable. she is a REALLY sick person. sometimes i'm glad i'm still alive and sane.here's my synastry with her, and check out her Saturn on my NN and her Jupiter on my SN/moon. likewise DW of her Moon on my Jupiter, which is my chart ruler. but what's scary is our composite. it's too scary to look at it so i've actually never tried to interpret it. i'll post it too. 
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lechien
Knowflake Posts: 391
From: i live in a kitchen
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 05:56 PM
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Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 2269
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 06:14 PM
 (((Lechien)))) Ami ------------------
I am two with nature. Eighth House Stellium IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 2269
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 06:17 PM
Does it help you all to realize that there was a plan(the blueprint in the chart) rather than just craziness that rained down from the skies  ?
Ami
PS I don't feel so alone and unique when you all share your stories. Thank you.
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I am two with nature.
Eighth House Stellium IP: Logged |
StarrofVenusGirl
Knowflake Posts: 706
From: Down the Rabbit Hole
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 06:20 PM
Soulful, what house is your Moon in?Scrappy, my mom and I have a lot of 8th house action too, and I would consider the relationship to have been emotionally abusive at times. Her Moon is conjunct my Pluto in the 8th house. Lechien--holy scary composite! I've never seen such an intense composite. It's like the Grand Kite of all grand kites, so heavy in Earth. A lot of Capricorn/Saturn too. That 1st house Sun says the main issue of the relationship is "identity." My mom is bipolar too! That's interesting that we both have Moon opp Saturn with a bipolar mother. Your Mars on her descendant seems pretty combative too. We both have an afflicted Mercury in synastry with mom also, yours is opposing her 5th house Moon and my Mom's opposes my Neptune/chart ruler. Normally I would think the Moon/Jupiter DW is favorable, but if something goes wrong it's very bad. The emotions (Moon) are expanded (Jupiter) for better or for worse and both conjunctions are afflicted. IP: Logged |
StarrofVenusGirl
Knowflake Posts: 706
From: Down the Rabbit Hole
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 06:29 PM
Lechien,You made me want to take a look at my composite with my mother. It's not as freakish as yours but it's pretty bad.  That 8th house action is intense. And the entire stellium is squared either Neptune or Saturn. I had to laugh at retrograde Chiron conjunct the Nadir...that pretty much says it all, huh? We also have NO PLANETS other than Chiron in the bottom of the chart. Like I said, we don't get each other at all, it's like being different species, there is no internal focus at all other than pain.  IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 2269
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 06:51 PM
WHY is life so hard ,I wonder  ? Ami ------------------
I am two with nature. Eighth House Stellium IP: Logged |
soulful122
Knowflake Posts: 63
From:
Registered: Jan 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 07:10 PM
AbsintheDragonfly, yeah it definitely is, but for the longest, it was even more painful because she wouldn't even acknowledge all the abuse happened, like my whole childhood, my brother's childhood was dreamed up, and that was insulting. I dunno what I would have done without my grandma. I know that people can change, and I know that she has and will continue to and for that I am happy for her, but I can never see us being close. scrappydog, I'm sorry to hear about that. Starr & scrappydog, as for my aspects for Sun & Moon: Sun Sag in 2nd, conjunct Merc & Saturn Sag in 2nd, conjunct Uranus Sag in 3rd, trine Moon Leo in 10th, sextile Jupiter Aqua in 4th & Asc in Lib, oppose Chiron Gem in 8th/9th cusp. Moon Leo in 10th, trine Merc & Saturn Sag in 2nd, trine Venus Sco in 2nd, square Pluto Sco in 1st, quincunx Neptune Cap in 3rd, contra-parallel Uranus Sag in 3rd, oppose Jupiter Aqua in 4th. It's trippy, sometimes I wonder how a great person like my dad could end up with a person like my mother. They are COMPLETE opposites. quote:
sometimes i'm glad i'm still alive and sane.
lechien, I feel the same way. <3 Thank you for your kind words Ami. You are always so gracious.  IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 391
From: i live in a kitchen
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 07:16 PM
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lechien
Knowflake Posts: 391
From: i live in a kitchen
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 07:17 PM
ay, it's THE 8th house for both of our composites with our moms, StarrofVenusGirl. but a quick look, that composite 8th house stellium falls on your natal NN and Mars too.and aw, thank you Ami IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 391
From: i live in a kitchen
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 07:29 PM
actually, me and my mother's DW Jupiter/Moon was a good thing turned bad. because of them, we also had GOOD times too. it was deceptive. it made me want to believe in her despite all. i let her abuse me and became her slave.and also, she actually has a Cardical Grand Cross in her chart, and she blames every bad thing in her life to it. personally, i have a nice Kite of my own. IP: Logged |
Ami Ann
Knowflake Posts: 2269
From: US
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 08:02 PM
Thank YOU Soulful and Lechien.
I had a bummer day and you guys gave me a nice "Atta-boy"
Ami
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I am two with nature. Eighth House Stellium IP: Logged |
belgz
Knowflake Posts: 1878
From: Planet love :)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 08:37 PM
Ok here goes... I think I would win a prize if there was one for "worst mother and daughter relationship".. Physical, mental and any time of abuse you can think of... My mum even tried to burn my legs when I was younger..Im reading a prayer and a minute of silence before I post this evil womans chart LOL
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belgz
Knowflake Posts: 1878
From: Planet love :)
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 08:37 PM
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crabbypatty
Knowflake Posts: 265
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 18, 2010 08:42 PM
SVG, I had a hellacious relationship with my mother (who, I've decided, suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder), but nobody in her family knows her time of birth, and I've given a few stabs at guessing her rising, but if I put up our synastry, it would be speculative, at best. If you're still interested, I'll do it, though!IP: Logged |
AbsintheDragonfly
Moderator Posts: 927
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 08:43 PM
quote:
AbsintheDragonfly, yeah it definitely is, but for the longest, it was even more painful because she wouldn't even acknowledge all the abuse happened, like my whole childhood, my brother's childhood was dreamed up, and that was insulting. I dunno what I would have done without my grandma. I know that people can change, and I know that she has and will continue to and for that I am happy for her, but I can never see us being close.
Wow it;s like we had the same mother. Mine used to say I just made these things up to get attention. Can I tell you something though, as she's gotten older, and has changed, we have gradually, and cautiously on my part, gotten closer. We talk on the phone about once a week, and I go to visit them, once or twice a month. Which when I was in my teens and 20's I would have told you to bugger off if you'd have said that. Gonna have to post mine now too. Hugs to all you who have had similar situations! I wonder if part of it is mothers who were baby boomers, had really traumatized parents, due to great depression, and WWII? I know there was alcoholism, and abuse in my mother's childhood. Her mom made her go and drown the kittens her cat had, because it was her fault her cat had kittens. How screwed up is that? IP: Logged |
AbsintheDragonfly
Moderator Posts: 927
From: Gaia
Registered: Apr 2010
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posted July 18, 2010 08:50 PM
Here's the Synastry:
I'm on the inside.  Here's the Composite:  IP: Logged | |
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