posted August 06, 2010 04:57 PM            

quote:

---

It is all just to serve the present, the moment.

---

I agree.

I think all moments - past & future - exist during every moment. Our temporal existence just focuses our experience on one section in the spiral ( ).

EDIT
I'm wondering about the Twin Flame concept. First, I must confess I never heard that phrase until I visited this site. I did read Plato talking about the same concept, but I don't remember him using that name. (Maybe he did. College. Booze. You know. )

posted August 06, 2010 04:59 PM            

"In the horary, Desdemona is at 26* Taurus (making it cnj that nasty Algol). It's in the 1st house, so describing myself.!
WIW! "

But that is so descriptive, isn`t it?

"We have Desdemona-Pluto aspects in our Synastry (dw) and Composite. The Comp aspect is exact! Des is in the Comp 12th house along with Karma. (Our Comp Karma is exactly cnj my Sun and his MC.)"!
It seems we stumbled over a truth. There was a Desdemona scenario in the past.
I just wonder - well, Desdemona was innoncent, she did not do what she was being accused of.
NOt that it would have been a reason to kill her, if she had done so.
Do you feel that about the p ast life memory, too, that it happened because of unfounded jealousy?

I donīt know why I suddenly thought of Desdemona. Maybe I was subconsciously searching for a figure in mythology or literature, that had been killed in a crime of passion.

BTW my own Desdemona is on 3°50 Capricorn conjunct my Venus, and also conjunct Knight, Stonehenge, Chaldaea and Gilgamesh and Vesta. lol

It squares Patrick`s Karma on 3°17 Libra pretty exactly.
His Desdemona conjuncts my name in his chart EXACTLY, and conjuncts his Eros by one degree. It also opposes his Mars-Jupiter-Amor-conjunction by only 2 degrees at most.

His Desdemona and my name in his chart are exactly conjunct my Ceres (9-10 Pisces - need to look up Sabian), Jupiter, Pholus and Ishtar.
All in his 12th house!!!!

*gulp*

My Desdemona squares Jude`s Pluto on 4°24 Libra.

his Desdemona squares my name in his chart by 1 degree - I am doomed.
But other than that there are no big aspects as far as I can see. At least in tropical.

BTW Andy`s Desdemona fall on the same Sabian as my tropical Anubis and Draco Pluto; his tropical Anubis is exactly opposing this degree.
On top of that my Desdemona is exactly on the midpoint of his Sun and Eros, in 3 degree conjunction to each of them, and squaring his Kaali.
Oh my Anubis and Draco Pluto and his Desdemona and Anubis ALL square his Moon (and probably ASC) exactly. Opposing my Adonis exactly.
Time to get scared? lol

Hmm, Desdemona, gotta think about this one.

My Desdemona Sabian is:
3-4 Capricorn
A Group Of People Outfitting A Large Canoe At The Start Of A Journey By Water

the karmic Sabian:
A Human Soul, In Its Eagerness For New Experiences, Seeks Embodiment

Patrick`s Desdemona, my name in his chart and my Ceres:
9-10 Pisces
An Aviator Pursues His Journey, Flying Through Ground-Obscuring Clouds

posted August 06, 2010 05:09 PM            

"and seeing as how we're usually thinking the same thing... "

Why are we even putting the effort in verbalizing it?

"But then I remembered that there was a strong uneasiness for a while. "
Yes, well, I am not total not uneasy around him. That is not true. He unsettles me a lot. He just gets under my skin, and I am not sure I even want him to be there!
What I mean is that I do not feel any kind of p otential danger around him (and that with his Nessus on my Saturn-Eros-conjunction. lol).

"Several years ago, I even broke up with him to avoid experiencing that "inevitable" transformation in him."
That sounds so much like something I would do. Definitely. Withdraw before the other can. That is me, yes.

"What did it is I stopped subconsciously expecting punishment."
That is very important. I am still working on this step. I am getting better, but now and then I still fall back, expecting this punishment, or rather, it is this thought of: If I fly too high, the unevitable crash down to earth will be so much more painful.

"you may not be able to feel what you once were to one another right off the bat."
Yes, that is true.

"!ith Solstice Cnj's/Opp's, what orb do you suggest?"
Preferably one degree, 2 degrees AT MOST.

posted August 06, 2010 05:18 PM            

Nothing better than Cappy Venus to keep oneīs pants on.

Hmm, my Eros is not on my SN. Drat. I would have liked that. Of course my Eros is on the antiscion of my SN.

posted August 06, 2010 05:36 PM            

And that from someone, who cannot keep her pants on!

I wonder if we knew each other.

maybe I was a bit more careful, not bragging about my conquests, so that everyone in the tavern could hear it!

As I see antiscions they are sneaking out on you from a dark corner.

Btw Patrick`s Venus is on the antiscion degree of my Mars. lol

posted August 07, 2010 04:00 AM            

About five/six years ago, I tried a few regressions via CD (Brian Weiss' work, mainly) - a few times, deliberately going for a regression, the rest of the time, only using the CD's as a relaxation tool.
One of the few potential memories that I recall having, was of my being a young, blonde woman - probably a dancer, with hair not far below her chin - curly-ish hair, wearing a pretty dress that came to around (or just above) the knee. She lived in what looked to be a cheap one-room flat, with a claw-foot bath against one wall, and a string of lights (like Christmas lights) hung across part of the room. The floor was a tile floor - nothing cozy.

When it came to her time of death, and how she passed away, I had the impression that she hadn't grown much older, and that she was killed by a man who held her head under water in her bath - I thought she might have been the mistress of the man.

I haven't tried a horary chart, but I do remember following an experiment on another board, around the same time I'd tried to regress myself, looking at my chart to see if I could tell how I'd died in a previous life. I wondered if my Mars in Pisces in the 4th house, squaring my Moon, Venus and Nodes (end of the 7th/beginning of the 8th) could have shown that. I'm going to check DD's thread, and follow along there... Venus rules my 12th house (and co-rules my 7th), so that might fit, as well. It also fits certain things that happened in my childhood, though - Mars squaring those planets and points, possibly pointing to violence and trouble coming from my mother's life somehow - the combo had me leaning in that direction at another point.)

I think I've said this before: there are things that you write about yourself that I can relate to, but I can also tell you're very different from me in ways.. did you say that our angles are conjunct? What you wrote about expecting love to turn to hatred.. did you mean that with just your husband, or every with every guy? I only ask, because that was what I was getting at with what I wrote in another thread in June, about being wary of relationships. I would look around at what others were experiencing - anything from general personality differences, to violence, cheating, alcholism (occasionally combined with cheating or violence), and wondered why on earth anyone bothered - that if that was 'love' I could do without it.. the sweetness only seemed to least so long, before annoyances and then hatred set in. (And having experienced a man's hands around my throat, when I was small - I got an early clue that not all men would be as good as my dad.)
Early last year, I remember realizing that I was subconsciously waiting for the axe to fall with almost anyone I interacted with (not just one person, as it seems to be with you) - I was waiting for something hurtful to come out of nowhere.

I loathed most of the attention I used to receive from boys and men, when I was out and about, because it was mostly related to my physical attributes, and how they could enjoy them. (Pfft.)

Now I'm an adult, and I know that it isn't always the way, but I'm now back to feeling cynical for myself in that department (up until a year ago, I didn't). I think, when I was younger, that I didn't trust myself to get myself out of a bad situation (relationship-wise), if I got myself into one... once Uranus crossed over my Mars (when I was 27), and he seemed to help my backbone to surface once again, I started to feel more confident in that area.. and once again, was able to open up to anyone who might come along. I expect to be treated well, by anyone I might let in - I wouldn't deliberately screw around with their hearts (or another woman's man).

Posting before my computer goes on me - back to edit in more... (yeesh, or edit a few things out - I'm tired and rambling, and lost my train of thought somewhere in there.)

posted August 07, 2010 05:28 AM            

Jane,
What if you both were enemy soldiers and the killing was in the heat of battle? The Horary will not show this.

posted August 07, 2010 05:34 AM            

I used to have a recurring dream in which I was running around the apartment complex that we lived in when I was six/seven years old - a complex on top of a factory in Northwood Hills. We lived there with my mother's truly sociopathic ex (when he showed his face, and wasn't off with other women, doing whatever he did), and he had a nastier effect on me than the one who was violent with me... maybe because my mother was in such a bad way, when she was with him. (She held herself together for us, but she was in bad shape, emotionally.)

In the dream, I was running into the lights that shone at night, in the complex, and then back into the darkness - the shadows, up and down the stairs that led up there, and around the building in total darkness - along the fence that separated the building from the railway, and then back around, doing it all over again. I was running away from someone - him - and I was terrified. I had that dream for a long time - I feel like this just thinking about it.

I wish I knew his birth information (he had two passports with two different birth dates, and when mum finally spoke to his mother, she wasn't thinking along those lines). I didn't like him, the first time I met him (rare for me) - I just felt that he would be trouble.

posted August 07, 2010 01:16 PM            

So we hung out at the tavern, did we? Sounds a little "Wenches Gone Wild."

posted August 07, 2010 04:11 PM            

And I agree, we probably remember strong emotions the easiest.

Jane,

LOL

posted August 09, 2010 10:17 AM            

I am sorry about your loss.

Regarding "Old souls":
I start thinking that those who realize that they still have a lot to learn, are the really "old" (or mature? or close to maturity? ) souls.

But then on the other hand, what is an old soul at all?
I guess it just means that you have been around quite some times and have made many experiences. That`s all.

I am wary though of these souls / people, who claim to already know it all.
I fear those are the ones in real danger to "narrowing" their focus and horizon instead of expanding it.

Yes, I think for myself I think I can safely say that the moment I start thinking I know it all, the trouble begins.

Didn`t you know toddlers are the wisest stage in a human life?

And noone can live up to one`s toddler status I think.
My parents are like that, too. Telling me what I or my brother have accomplished at that age. And I am always wondering: Who the heck are they talking about?

BTW I like your humour.

posted August 09, 2010 01:28 PM            

I know what you mean about kindergarten-time.
I remember that boy, I used to play with, and he told me that he was going to marry me, and I told him that I didn`t want to marry him. He said he would go to my mother and she would make me, and I got angry and told him that I would NOT marry him, not even if my mum told me so.
Then he locked me up in his playroom! He locked the door and told me that I would have to stay in there, until I agreed to marry him. And I went beserk, I was kicking and screaming so loud that eventually the grown ups came and "freed" me. The relationship with that boy had never been the same again. And all just because I kissed him. *sighs* I was being 6 years old, he was being 4 or 5, and I thought it would be nice to kiss each other at midnight on new years eve (our parents are befriended), which we did. But it was just an innocent little kiss, which meant nothing to me but just trying it out for fun.
He on the other hand must have gotten the impression I was promising something.
If I had been doing astrology at that time (well, unlikely with 6 years lol), I would have known better than kissing a Cancer boy!

He actually was chasing me - literally - in later years again, when he was about 9 and I about 11. He was really darting after me and I was running away. All he wanted was an embrace, a hug. But I did not want it.

AFter that episode (of several months), he seemed to have a certain grudge against me. Can`t think why.