posted August 08, 2010 06:59 PM         

I was in a legalistic, fundamentalist church for 7years, when my husband told me he didn't love me and want a divorce, church leadership told me when I got my heart right with God my husband would love me again. When I had my husband arrested for domestic assault, they treated me like I'd done something wrong. I was pretty much shunned. A few true friends stuck by me, but my faith was shattered and I had to rebuild from the ground up.

Pretty much everything you've said is spot on. I have a huge internal war waging as I try to conquer my insecurities and self-doubts once and for all.

I have two of my four kids living with me and my X is not really providing for the kids he has living with him, I'm still buying clothes and whatnot. I've had some inheritance which I've been getting by on, but I need a job, a career position with upward mobility, ASAP.

What career paths do you see?

Do you know how to read a chart for marriage potential? Someone read my chart and said I should have been married twice by now. My X and I separated in 2001 and reconciled in 2004. So I'm thinking the second marriage accounts for when he got down on one knee and proposed to me in Sept/Oct of 2004 (I forget the exact date.) we hadn't gotten divorced, so it was more symbolic than anything.

Using an article I read about when someone will get married, my chart seems to say when I'm 47 - I'm now 41. By rhen I should have a career established and I'll be 5+ years out from leaving this marriage (we split in October.)

posted August 08, 2010 07:03 PM         

Ami

posted August 08, 2010 07:10 PM         

Ami

PS I don't know how to do any fancy charts lol.

posted August 08, 2010 07:22 PM         

The SN is where you already feel comfortable.
Do you feel comfortable with Libra energy--harmonizing and balancing yourself in relationships.
I get the sense you do cuz you prolly HAD to do this with your husband.
You alluded to wanting to think it was all OK(I have been there) and so I assume you were trying to bring balance and harmony all the time to try to achieve that end.
This placement shows that you are,generally ,pretty comfortable in groups. Is that true?

posted August 08, 2010 08:11 PM         

I am comfortable in groups for the most past, usually. Depending on the group, of course. But in general I'm not afraid to speak before a group or to share with a group.

I do seek harmony and balance in relationships, in life... sometimes I take to much abuse from others because I don't want to rock the boat and cause a scene. So that can be good and bad.

posted August 08, 2010 09:44 PM         

Ami

posted August 08, 2010 09:48 PM         

I see moon square moon. I have this with a friend and even though we are best friends we do NOT get each other's emotional worlds.
It is like water and oil.
I could never be in an intimate relationship with him cuz when I let my hair down, he just would not get it.
I would think ,"What good is a close relationship if you don't get each other's basic workings lol"

Then, you have his Saturn on your Venus which puts a wet blanket on your love/beauty nature.

Then, on top of that, the aspect above squares his Uranus .
This means you, the Venus, will feel unsettled . He will feel unpredictable and the relationship will feel unstable.

Are these true?

Ami

posted August 08, 2010 10:05 PM         

Ami
Maybe I am missing something lol
Tomorrow I will try to see if I can find positive things. There must be, I assume

posted August 08, 2010 10:09 PM         

Funny, I was just talking to my brother-in-law, his brother, about why it was I ended up with him... for one he is very much like my father in many regards, how they both handle money was the topic of conversation today... and secondly, his way of criticizing me constantly was very familiar, my family of origin did the same type of thing he did. In fact, this past Easter I left my mom's feeling shell shocked, my sister had been in a bad mood and absolutely jumped on everything and anything I said all day long. I realized I hadn't felt like I felt upon leaving my mom's for several months, since my ex-husband moved out. And I simultaneously realized one of the reasons why I feel into that toxic relationship in the first place.

My X would on one hand want to live off of me... I was working as a paralegal making decent money back in the day for 21yo and I never wanted to be a gold digger, so it didn't bother me to be paying for just about everything. He took care of me, picked up my house, drove me around... worked part time jobs.

He'd gone to art school and that seemed kinda exciting to me... he never made anything of the art and doesn't do any art stuff now. I have a radar now for stupid, meaningless, non-viable, pipe dreams - but didn't back then.

He on one hand manipulated and used me and lived off of me, while on the other hand making sure I was always kinda off-kilter. I was on Prozac when we met, he was always telling me I'm crazy, that I was on crazy meds when he met me. I finally, just in the past few months, told him "that's a lie from the pit of hell, I am not crazy, popping an anti-depressant does not mean a person is crazy!!" But for 20 years I felt like I was crazy, didn't help that my aunt and first cousin both committed suicide.

I ended up- on SSI income, this came about when we were separated and the doctor kept writing me notes for anxiety/depression so I could continue to get county assistance... then the county made me apply for SSI and I was approved almost immediately. it was just the gov't shifting which pot I was drawing money from... I got rental assistance too...

that's when he proposed to me, after 4years of telling me he didn't love me and wanted a divorce... my rational was I couldn't parent 4 kids on my own to well and he was the only man on the face of the earth who would ever be my kids' dad... so I tried to make it work.

later I found out he moved back in with me on the verge of being evicted from his efficiency apartment.

he made me laugh... back then. My sun is trine his Venus, or vise versa, we have quite a few powerful, good, aspects in our synastry chart. But in the end his POOR CHARACTER and his Leo need to always be on top did us in. He serio0usly is not that bright when it comes to finances, but would never take my advice or follow my lead (unless it was my money because I earned it or it came from my family - but he'd still try to manipulate me to spend it as he saw fit.

I was blind to a lot because I wanted to believe he had my best interest in mind... I didn't see him as the enemy until very, very, recently.

posted August 08, 2010 10:16 PM         

X O
Ami
PS What other good aspects do you have? Were you ever attracted to him, beyond maybe a little lol?

posted August 08, 2010 10:52 PM         

My X and I have Venus in the 7th House in our mid-point composite chart...

Venus in the Seventh House 7th hs

"Composite Venus in the seventh house is a good indication that this is a personal relationship based to a considerable extent on affection. There may be other reasons for this relationship, but love is certainly one of the most important.

You will have a strong sense of shared emotion and feeling and a great need to share your experiences.

The only danger that you should watch for with this position is that you may tend to be too accommodating; that is, you will try to agree with each other even when one of you has a legitimate grievance. If you do this too often, eventually the friendly atmosphere wears thin, and all kinds of resentments boil out. Do not let your desire for peace and harmony prevent you from confronting important issues. "

+++++

Sun Trine Moon

The trine of Sun and Moon in the composite chart is an excellent indication of compatibility. It makes true love and friendship possible, partly because the two of you are able to accept each other and allow the other person to be whatever he or she is.

The principle represented by the Sun and Moon together is wholeness. The trine of these two means that as a couple you are capable of that same wholeness. Such a relationship is characterized by a lack of tension and conflict.

Any type of relationship is favorably affected by this aspect, but a sexual one is especially favored, because sexuality is one of the most basic expressions of the Sun- Moon polarity.

NOTE: This was basically a one-night stand - or at least it should have remained a one-night stand - which lasted twenty years. The sex was always good.

+++++++

More sexual attraction indicators here...

Moon Trine Mars

The trine of composite Moon and composite Mars is a sign that the two of you have a great emotional involvement in this relationship. This would not be a very good aspect for a professional relationship that required mutual feelings of detachment. The combination of the Moon and Mars, even in a trine, implies that the feelings evoked are strong enough to make the relationship extremely subjective and personal.

This aspect acts most positively in a love relationship, where it can make an otherwise quiet and subdued affair into something much more emotionally rich and involving. Also, in a sexual relationship, the energy of the Moon combined with Mars helps to stimulate physical sexuality.

One point must be kept in mind, however, and that is that neither of you must repress the other. If held in too long, the energy of this trine would probably come out in an explosive way.

++++++++++

We also have these mostly positive aspects...

# Mercury Sextile Pluto
# Mercury Sextile Uranus
# Uranus Sextile Ascendant
# Uranus Sextile Neptune
# Neptune Sextile Pluto
# Pluto Sextile Ascendant

+++++++++

Venus sextile Saturn

A love relationship with this aspect may be more durable than most, but both of you would approach it with a sense of duty as well as enjoyment. If this is a marriage, this aspect might make you stay together for the sake of the children or some such reason, when other couples would have split up.

[too true!!!}

+++++++++++++

That's the long answer, the short answer is probably sex is what kept us together.

We fought something fierce... then we'd make up.

From the MINUTE we were married practically, my X acted like a trapped dog... indeed, as I look back at our getting married, it came about because I became a born-again Christian and alas - we were living in sin. So I gave him the ultimatum "get married or break up" I was the roof over his head, so we got married (I didn't see that as his motivation back then, naturally.)

That's why his proposing to me in the fall of 2004 so swayed me, because he'd never proposed the first time around. Indeed, he never seemed to want to be married... for him it just happened, I think. For me too, I had never thought I'd get married til my 30s.

posted August 08, 2010 11:02 PM         

Mercury Square Jupiter

The square of composite Mercury and Jupiter is one of the easier squares to deal with. About the only serious problem it indicates is a possible tendency to be overly idealistic. It may lead you to expect more from your relationship than it can deliver. However, this aspect also creates an optimistic and positive frame of mind, which makes it more likely that matters will turn out as you want them to, even if that is quite demanding. Jupiter often acts to make something happen simply because you assume that it is going to happen. This is the power of positive thinking.

Another effect of this combination is that when there are problems between you, it may be hard to figure out what is wrong.

Outside of these two small areas of difficulty, this aspect should make the two of you very optimistic about your relationship, and that attitude should be most helpful in smoothing out any difficult times that arise.

+++++++

Jupiter Square Ascendant

Normally, the square of composite Jupiter and Ascendant is a good aspect. It helps to make a relationship work so that the two of you can further each other's chosen path in life rather than get in the way of it. This is accomplished in two ways.

On the one hand, the two of you have some understanding of what you are doing with your lives, at least as concerns each other. And in addition, you also know how to work together so that you support and further each other's plans.

On the other hand, this aspect makes it easy for you to reinforce each other in your intimate personal lives. You are emotionally supportive and try to help each other through difficult times, including periods of emotional problems.

posted August 08, 2010 11:05 PM         

Moon Square Venus

Unlike most squares, the square of composite Moon and composite Venus cannot really be called a difficult aspect. Its major effect is to give an air of compulsion when this relationship is beginning; that is, you both have an urgent feeling that you should get together.

posted August 08, 2010 11:04 PM         

Ami

posted August 08, 2010 11:09 PM         

sorry!!!

posted August 08, 2010 11:11 PM         

Ami
PS We will look tomorrow, Friend

posted August 09, 2010 02:55 PM         

Ami

posted August 09, 2010 07:17 PM         

I see 3 feel-good aspects and one passionate one.
The 3 feel goods are
Your Sun trine his moon--2 degree's
Your Mercury trine his Mars--1 degree
Your Mercury trines his NN

The one passionate one is Venus trine Pluto(I may be missing lots )

Venus trine Pluto can be obsessive in a good way i.e. obsession /passion lol.

Ami

PS So did you get married more cuz of pressure from the church and having children, already, rather than a connection that worked?

PPS Perhaps all the squares made passion but little emotional connection

------------------
Talk softly but carry a big stick.