posted November 10, 2010 12:54 AM            

quote:

---

GrlyGirl, it sounds like with your Aqua, he wants to pull away now because he senses an (over)intensity in your vibe towards him. Which, if he wants things ended romantically, would feel heavy and watery and uncomfortable for him.

---

I thought this. Obviously if he isn’t into me and he knew I was still into him he wouldn’t want to deal with me. Plus he probably feels like he’d have to tip toe on my feelings and couldn’t be himself. I thought that was a reason why he didn’t want to deal with me. I was too emotional and too needy and it would just be a headache to deal with me even at this point. I guess I hoped at some point he’d start to think positively and look back at me as not some overly emotional person but just as a girl who was cared very deeply for him.

quote:

---

but then the emotional quality of your interactions gave him feelings he didn't like

---

I don’t understand what this means. I didn’t think we interacted with each other emotionally (ok ok I’ll admit I did very much so)…him sometimes (well kinda a lot actually…

I care about everyone. If someone I know is sick I do my best to care for them if I can. I didn’t go out of my way to be emotional, or nurturing I would just check up on him to hope he was well, or if I found out he got a bad test grade I’d say I hope he felt better…I do that with everyone.

I wasn’t trying to be bad emotionally or arouse anything or make him hate me and feel emotions he didn’t want (I don’t even understand what he didn’t want to feel…we were over romantically and there was no reason to dislike me or like me…I thought he just thought I was over emotional) I was just trying to be a friend to him and show him how much I care for him.

I guess I want for him to be indifferent enough to just have me as a Facebook friend. I want him to treat me like every other random (like my friend he accepted…they haven’t even chatted) and have me on his profile. Or have me on there and it not mean anything other than I’m just another random person he knew.

posted November 10, 2010 01:25 AM            

But lots of people I've talked to have actually said that it's important to go No Contact after a breakup, to make the break cleaner. It could be that your Aqua ex feels that way. Some people do not want to be friendly with exes. It doesn't mean they think the ex is a worthless person...it's like a taboo for them. It's like, the fact that you never want to have sex with your brother doesn't mean he's not sexy--it's just, ewww, he's your brother.

posted November 10, 2010 02:30 AM            

I'm on the fence about whether not wanting to be friends is pride or not.

On the one hand you have the whole argument about love is unconditional and shouldn't have expectations. And to need to be in the relationship is need not love. (i write it but i only buy this on some levels)

On the other hand it's being completely honest and true to yourself: you want something that he won't/can't give you. Hanging around is self torture and disrespectful to yourself...especially at the beginning.

posted November 10, 2010 08:28 AM            

Fire to Drive me mad and get upset..... LOL.

But I read somewhere that when male Mars conjunct MC female it is more benificial to the female. But if it is vica versa can be problematic.

Also... I was doing dome research on NN conjunct MC but could not find anything.

posted November 10, 2010 08:55 AM            

I have that with someone as well.

In addition my NN conjuncts his IC and his sun conjuncts my MC.

posted November 10, 2010 09:36 AM            

Ours is crazy karmic. And I would love for it to go either one way or the other; either happen or go away.

Right now it's just in limbo. It's nothing but it's not nothing.

posted November 10, 2010 11:50 AM            

quote:

---

I'm on the fence about whether not wanting to be friends is pride or not.

---

It's a moot point for me anyway, since he hasn't contacted me in 6 weeks, AT ALL. Which has certainly never happened in any of my other relationships, the rest of them have cared how I was, or had a lot more ambivalence about not seeing me.

posted November 10, 2010 12:23 PM            

My ex-husband and I had these heavy conjunctions.
His MC conj my IC,
His Chron, Mercury, Venus conj my IC

His IC Conj My MC
His Uranus and Pluto Conj my MC.

When we parted, it was like part of my soul was missing, My heart was broken for a such a long time. I was not operational. I was grieving so much.. it was very difficult. Still is. I miss his tremendously, not as much as I did before but I miss him noneless.
and Our rel' ended almost 5 years ago. He remarried and is happy. But part of my soul is still missing.
But I am grateful for this rel. It touched me, it transformed me.

posted November 11, 2010 09:20 PM            

i wonder.. this might be totally out in left field but, going on what you said

quote:

---

My draco=Sagittarius Sun-Mercury-Mars, Libra Moon-Saturn-DC, Venus in Scorpio.

..My draco is all about honestly and in an uncensored way speaking my mind, and being an adventurer!!

---

posted November 11, 2010 10:43 PM            

I think I have to get myself together. Just MOVE ON. If he ever wants to be with me, he knows I'm here. If I were more Jupiterian, I wouldn't feel this desperate and sad.

posted November 13, 2010 06:37 PM            

quote:

---

I think I have to get myself together. Just MOVE ON. If he ever wants to be with me, he knows I'm here. If I were more Jupiterian, I wouldn't feel this desperate and sad

---

Lucia, I've felt very much so the way you're describing how you feel...so desperate and pathetic for how I felt with the Aqua and still trying to be in contact with him when it was obvious he didn't give a crap about me, even if all I wanted to know was he was ok and happy (which FYI I'd LOVE if any of my sleeze ball exes had pure intentions and wanted to know if I was ok...as opposed to wanting no strings sex).

But I will say this. Logically why is holding on so bad...I look at it as human beings should let others touch them and why is still caring about an individual regardless of the relationship you had bad.

Lucia in regards to what you said about my ex...I did wonder that...but I guess I always thought we'd transition to friends easily as he knew I cared even if my feelings were deep.

posted November 13, 2010 06:55 PM            

But I wonder whether your Aqua is maybe not quite mature enough to handle emotional connections, period, whether romantic or otherwise.

posted November 13, 2010 09:20 PM            

Either way its hard...I did care unconditionally and tried to not leave him (even as a friend) and was sweet and selfless and all I wanted was respect for him to be a friend to me because while he was here he made it seem liked he cared for me, and accepted gifts and kind words.

quote:

---

But I wonder whether your Aqua is maybe not quite mature enough to handle emotional connections, period, whether romantic or otherwise.

---

I'm not sure...I truly have thought it was me. Like I said he still has his ex of three years as a Facebook friend, and she meant something, plus he was able to be connected to her emotionally. Plus he dated another friend short term but he slept with her more than me...so I would think that logically they would mean much more so he wouldn't have problems being my friend (or dealing with me) because I meant less (and wouldn't arouse any emotions). I used to say this to him.

Most of the Aqua's I know tend to stay friends with exes after they lose interest in them. So I always thought I wouldn't be the exception. I thought even if he did want back with his ex of three years he'd love her and that would be enough to be able to deal civilly with me a I again won't make him feel anything. Plus I know his ex that he was involved with briefly that he slept with more than me he was able to be friends with and things were fine (ie he was never into her) so why was I any different when he was into me than stopped being so.

quote:

---

Anyway, one thing seeing the Aries did was make me understand that things like this are not simple. Usually not for either person.

---

posted November 13, 2010 09:38 PM            

Because, even at that time, I was good friends with some exes, including while I was very involved with the Libra.

Here's what I think: That Aqua THOUGHT he selflessly just wanted to be friends with me...but really he wanted me back, and his vibe showed that, and that's why he was so obsessive about it for two years when it was clear I wanted and needed distance and space.

Part of why I left him was that I wanted distance and space from all the things he seemed to want and need from me.

With you and your Aqua? There might be some similar things going on the other way. You tell yourself you want just a friendship, but you post about him on astrology sites, pay waaaay close attention to who is on his facebook page, look to whether he's in touch with you or not to validate your sense of whether you're attractive and lovable (like that worry that making you not his FB friend was about your looks)....even the part of feeling rejected or ashamed....that's just a lot of emotional intensity. If part of why he pulled away from you is that he does not like having that intensity directed toward him, he wouldn't at all want to keep those emotional dynamics at play while not even being a couple.

I don't mean this to sound so harsh--I wish it weren't true, and all love was easy and mutual!

That Aqua--I mean, he was obsessed with my personal life, jealous of my boyfriend--there was just too much residual intensity (because he was still interested), and too much hurt (because I had ended it) for it to work as a nice, mutual friendship. In that case, even though I wish I'd found a better way to handle it, it was healthiest for both of us to move on.