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Author
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Topic: Little white lies...
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esheep123
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: brooklyn, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 06:03 PM
 
It's not like I'm this monster husband stealer or anything. There are times where I go in my car, turn up the volume on the radio, and scream at myself..."He doesn't want you. This is wrong. He doesn't love you. Stop it! Stop it." I have no idea if there is anything healthy about it. But that, paired with prayer, still isn't enough to make me just detach. I don't know what he did to me, but i just can't shake it off... IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 1556
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 06:07 PM
I'm not saying that you are a bad bad person, this is something that happens to alot of people when something is seriously missing in their primary marriage/relationship. I'm just sensing that you are way more invested than Mr. Scorpio is and after reading the conversation, I think he senses that too. Anyways, its your life...don't let me tell you what to do. Its only my two cents. IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 06:55 PM
Esheep, my feeling is that this man is a catalyst for something deeper which you feel is missing in your life. I've been in a very similar situation as well when I was married btw, so I kind of understand some of this, though I admit not everything.
Maybe just instead of working on cutting off your feelings, acknowledge them and see what this man brings out in you which you're missing now in your life and are craving. IP: Logged |
esheep123
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: brooklyn, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:24 PM
Well, he definitely treats his wife with unconditional love and respect. She may not cook, may not clean, but he accepts it, and happily picks up the chinese food. She and their kids are first in all matters.I think I mistook her lack of being home as a sign of unhappiness in the marriage, like mine. But the more I watch this family dynamic, the more i realize that perhaps they like it this way. I mean, what Scorpio wouldn't love to be home alone, enoying the solidarity of it all? He is a great father, a good husband, and I thought that he wasn't appreciated. Like me. A few minutes ago, I sat down next to my husband, to watch TV. I cooked him an awesome dinner. Cleaned up, bathed the kids, brought him a blanket, offered him some fruit to snack on, then sat. He itched his nose and wiped his boogers on me. He's 48 by the way. I told him that I didn't think it was funny. He got mad at me. This is our dynamic. My imagination got the better of me, when i thought I found someone like me. Two souls in hapless, unsatisfying relationships that are hard to get out of. At least, if we became friends and vented, it would have eased things for me. Instead I got caught up in the moment. He has no feelings for me. I was wrong, wrongity wrongity wrong. He just had his ego stroked by yet another woman, I guess. By the way, he's home tonight. I hate how I can discern his footsteps from anyone else in that house. He bumped into my husband a while ago, and told him he just got home from a long trip. I don't get it. IP: Logged |
esheep123
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: brooklyn, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:26 PM
I know it's cliche, but I thought he was the missing puzzle piece.IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:31 PM
Wow. Your husband sounds like a real turd. You give off the vibe of being a very dynamic and lovely woman. I'm sorry you have to put up with that ******** . <3IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:36 PM
If it's any consolation, you're handling that situation way better than I would. If I found myself married to a jerk that wipes his buggers on me then gets angry when I object, we would have come to some serious blows long ago and I would have gone crazy psycho white girl on him and all his friends and associates would hear all about how "crazy" I am... I don't see why men think they are entitled to treat their women like doormats and then become bewildered when that said doormat bites back. I should come with a warning sign "Looks sweet, but sweet demeanor disguises 'crazy psycho b*tch'"BWA HAHAHA!!! IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 07:36 PM
Bitterfly, you're naughty  IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 07:39 PM
Esheep, yikes, I think I get it now. Yeah, I hear you, the damn romance and newness is missing. And you feel taken for granted. And who the hell can blame you. No doubt your husband thinks you're being overly sensitive when you don't approve of his booger-wiping *insert eye-rolling emoticon here*!FYI, you DO have a place to vent - right here on this board  IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:42 PM
You need to get in touch with your inner Aretha Franklin and give that man a piece of your mind in a serious way. Call him out on his sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell him you KNOW he knows what a jerk he's being and it's bunk! You know you do everything you can for your family, you're as loving and helpful as you can be, and he does nothing but act like a kid. He should be ashamed of himself acting like a disgusting, small child. I wouldn't put up with that from a kid, much less my husband. BOTH would get a smack up side the head from me.IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:44 PM
What is he, a man or a mouse?When was the last time this dude did so much as take you out to dinner? IP: Logged |
Benedict Moon*
Knowflake Posts: 1556
From: Avendesora
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 07:46 PM
Yuck. I would totally punch the person who wiped their boogers on me. Virgo Moon does not put up with that kind of slovenly behavior. I'm sorry, it does sound like you're caught up in a bad dynamic and Scorpio just activated whatever is missing in your life. I never said you should forget your feelings at all, but rather just step back and look at them as a wake-up call. This is Venus Retrogade's job...especially in Scorpio. IP: Logged |
esheep123
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: brooklyn, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:47 PM
i used to have dreams, I used to think that I'd be worthy of something. Or that I'm worth something. But when he comes to look over my shoulder while I'm on the internet, and places a cold cup of juice on my bare shoulder, just to see me jump, I kinda sorta gave up. Thanks for the pep talks. I really need to do some soul searching. I guess it must start with this current situation, and work from there... But how do I start? IP: Logged |
esheep123
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: brooklyn, ny usa
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:51 PM
bitterfly, it's funny that you ask that.The answer is never... Eight years and we have never been out to a movie. Never on a vacation, and we have NEVER celebrated not one holiday. He pretends he's deep, and that these holidays are superficial. IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 07:56 PM
He puts a cold cup of coffee on your shoulder just to see you jump!!!!!!!????????????I'm sorry. I would beat the living day lights out of that guy, husband or not. But then, I have a violent streak a mile wide. He is definitely taking advantage of your good nature. Try telling him "No" and say it firmly. DEFINITELY practicing saying it beforehand!!! Practice, practice, practice. Look yourself in the eye, in the mirror, and say "NO! Stop that!" And then LOOK HIM IN THE EYE, stare the stupid little boy down, and say "NO! Stop that!" And if he gets upset, say "Don't do things to purposefully **** me off, and we won't have any problems." Of course, I like to get in to fights with people who irritate me. Pluto in Scorpio squaring off against Mars and Venus in Aries. ROWR!!! You know what, just give me your address and I'll come over there and scare the bejesus out of him. IP: Logged |
swirl-kitt
Knowflake Posts: 228
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 07:56 PM
oh esheep  some men are just like that.. I'm afraid you can't change him. is he like this all the time, or did he change over the years ? IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 08:00 PM
A good place to start is looking yourself in the eye in the mirror and telling yourself that YOU LOVE YOURSELF, and do this every single day.Also, pray to God. God has been a huge source of strength and light for me. IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 08:06 PM
Bitterfly is right!
Also it's very Aqua to be like, Oh, I don't celebrate special occasions and I'm beyond that. Ok WHATEVER man. Lame.
You might not be able to change him but you sure as hell can give him a kick in the a$$ What's your moon sign, esheep?? IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 08:07 PM
Honestly, leave him. Seriously. I know, I know, it's none of my business, blah blah blah. But seriously, leave him. He is VERY abusive in such an underhanded way that it would be difficult to pin down exactly what kind of damage he is doing to you psychologically. He is not going to change, and the truth is, what it boils down to is.. you are either going to put up with this crap for the rest of your life in one form or another, even if you do stand up to him, or you're going to get a divorce and be a free woman who CAN and MAY find a good man.IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 08:10 PM
btw I am with an Aqua and he does all kinds of jokey stuff. Tickling out of the blue, etc, just to see me jump. Usually I tackle him and tickle him back and its' all well and good but sometimes he takes it too far and I have to be like dude, stop, it's not funny. It can get annoying because it's very juvenile if you're not in the mood for it. IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 08:11 PM
I'm an Aquarius, and my last serious boyfriend was an Aquarius, and he refused to celebrate holidays and birthdays. He wouldn't do anything for my birthday or Christmas or even wish me a happy day even though I PLEADED with him to do so and I told him how unhappy it made me. He was also extremely childish and self-centered and diva-like just in general, and you know me and that boy had some serious show downs. I found out after we broke up that he is actually a Satanist and practices Luciferian mind control tactics, which he employed on me in a SERIOUS way throughout the duration of our relationship, and denied and told me I was crazy whenever I accused him of being up to something underhanded and sneaky.IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 08:11 PM
I hate men...IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 08:11 PM
I dunno about abusive. He just sounds clumsy and like he needs a kick in the a$$ to stop taking u for granted.IP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 3358
From: Bay Area, CA
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 14, 2010 08:13 PM
I have managed to make my Aqua take special occasions seriously. Seriously, in the end it doesn't matter what the hell your sign is, when you love someone, you want them to feel special, period. You see what makes them happy, and you want to see them smiling. IP: Logged |
britterfly
Knowflake Posts: 194
From:
Registered: Jul 2010
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posted November 14, 2010 08:14 PM
That kind of behavior is abusive. It may not be in-your-face domestic violence, but it's definitely belittling and inconsiderate and degrading and has no place in a marriage. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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