posted November 14, 2010 08:56 AM         

Mr. Scorpio lied to me straight in the face yesterday. It hurt, because I knew he was lying, and he acted really awkward when delivering the lie.

His brother wrote on his Facebook status that the two of them were going to Cleveland for the weekend, for someone's engagement party. When I said "Hey, Mr. Scorpio, you're leaving tomorrow to cleveland! Have a great trip," he became awkward, acted at first like he didn't know anything about it. Then he said, "No, that's next week."

But it's indeed this weekend. His brother posted on Facebook that they left at 4:30 am yesterday morning.

It wasn't top secret, obviously, if it was all over Facebook, and I don't know the bride and groom, and Cleveland is in another part of the country. So I won't be crashing this party. Why the need to be defensive?

I thought we had a bit more of a connection than that. At least friendship , you know? But for him to lie to me to my face, I wonder, does he care at all about me?

And I don't know how to deal with this once he's back from his trip. Should I pretend the lie never happened? Should I give up on him, even on a friendly level? Confront the little liar head on? What?

posted November 14, 2010 09:11 AM         

Maybe, it's simply that he didn't know his brother had posted it on Facebook, and therefore it might have seemed a little strange that you knew about it, and his first instinct was to lie.

posted November 14, 2010 10:39 AM         

Also, I would like to know just how to react to his lie. I feel like giving up is probably best, but deep down, I want his friendship.

posted November 14, 2010 11:56 AM         

The engagement party wasn't top secret, either.

We talked that Friday afternoon, and he left Saturday morning. 12 hours later. he didn't get his dates confused.

I hope I don't come off as prideful. I just thought we were at a level where lies shouldn't be necessary.

posted November 14, 2010 03:51 PM         

I really don't know why else he'd lie in this situation. There is nothing private for him to protect.

I have a Pisces Mercury. If I am not CLOSE to a person - I could literally care less about lying to them. If I consider it fit to lie about my life - I will - because I feel as though my life is not at all their business or their concern. This usually happens when they ask a question that I find invasive and that I believe they need not and should not know the answer to.

*Need not* - because it does not affect them at all or their lives - to know the truth.... and....

*Should not* - because if I were to tell them I'd hear opinions/advice that I am not interested in.

I mainly have this attitude towards people I find picky, judgemental, nosy, invasive, patronizing and critical over issues/things that I find both irrational and petty - and that I don't spend time in my life - listening to.

It means literally nothing to me to lie - unless the person is close and there is a bond of trust established between us. And in order for them to be close to me - they'd have to have very different personality traits to the ones listed above.

posted November 14, 2010 03:55 PM         

There is nothing private in this case and I doubt that he was lying.

I simply wanted to add my own two cents re: "little white lies" in general.

quote:

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I have nothing to hide so I never bother lying

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posted November 14, 2010 04:03 PM         

BTW:
My mother has a Pisces Mercury and she tends to try to withhold info which she doesn't want to tell me (granted it is important stuff about my dad's health, my family, etc...things I do havce a right to know about). But she also has the flaw of a terrible memory. I used to press her for the truth and corner her to not lie to me and she'd get all slippery which would pi$$ me off more
Over the years I've learned to make her bad memory work to my advantage. I have other access to info and when I find out a little, I just bring it up and act like I know more than I do, and she tends to cough up more information, thinking she must've told me at some point. Manipulative on my part? Yes. But if she's going to play that game, I can play it too.

posted November 14, 2010 04:19 PM         

How should I handle it?

posted November 14, 2010 05:29 PM         

quote:

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It doesn't sound to me like he was lying. He might've been thinking about something else when you asked - so he had to mentally check his diary and momentarily thought it was 'next week'.

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That's what I thought as well. Its an engagement party thats already all over facebook ...I don't think he would lie about it on purpose. He may have really forgotten that it was this weekend and not the next.

And even if he did I'm still in the boat of "So What?" I do confess that I read the other thread in Soul Unions (but contributed nothing) so that's really where I'm coming from. Its just a little ironic to expect the very thing that your situation with him is not even based on (honesty).

posted November 14, 2010 05:52 PM         

He's on the staircase leading up to his apartment, I'm in front of my apartment door. We always seem to meet at the mailbox. After some lingering on both our parts, I say

Me: Hey you're going to the engagement in Cleveland this weekend...

him: (He pauses.) Huh? I didn't hear you. (focuses on my eyes.)

Me: The engagement party in Cleveland? I wanted to wish you a safe trip.

Him: What engagement? No, no, there is no engagement.

His Daughter: Dad, remember, Sam's?
He stares at her, and pats her head with his mail. (She says, "what?") He looks up at me after a really long pause.

Him: Oh, that's next weekend.

Me: (Quietly) Oh, next weekend...(disappointment all over my face)
Then he goes up to his apartment, and before the door closes, I hear him yell way too loudly "Hello, everyone!" No one was home except him and his little girl.