Author
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Topic: Is 2 weeks too long to wait before calling a friend after your first time hanging out
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RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:11 PM
I made a friend at camp this year who actually doesn't live that far from me. Camp was only 5 days long, but the entire time we hung out in groups. Five days ago was the first time we hung out by ourselves. I kind of feel suffocated since we've been texting and talking nonstop ever since we got back home (but he had to leave again to another state soon after camp). Now is the first time we hung out since he just got back. Since I feel suffocated and need some time away from him (we've been talking for about 3 months straight with maybe a one week break here and there). do you think he would be upset if I waited two weeks to contact him again? He seemed kind of upset when the night ended because I seemed kind of bored that he is so shy and practically kicked him out of my car, and he asked when we would hang out again and called me right when I got home.I feel suffocated. I sent him a text saying that we would hang out again and that he's a sweetheart, to give him reassurance, since when he asked if we would hang out again in the car I made it sound like i didnt care to hang out again at all. But I'm worried he might become self-conscious about me hating his shyness if I wait that long to contact him. You know, because shy people think others perceive them as boring. I guess it's not that big of a deal...I just feel bad... By the way, he doesn't like me because he said so himself. So dont assume that. We just became strong friends right away because we have mutual venus-pluto in synastry.
I vibe strongly with this: "You may sometimes feel as if you want to burst out of the inherent constraints of this friendship, for it may seem as though your freedom and breathing space are being curtailed by the responsibilities..." But my question is, would it be that big a deal to wait two weeks? Is that too much time? IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:15 PM
if your just friends then "dating rules" dont apply, LOLas far as i know, the 2 week rule is just for dating ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:23 PM
So, wait, which are you saying, that I should or that I shouldn't wait 2 weeks?? And i didnt know there was any rule btw...I dont think u fully understood. Its not about some silly rule, it's about the fact that that's pretty much how much time I would need to get the breathing space I need and not feel suffocatedIP: Logged |
Aya_and_baby Knowflake Posts: 1235 From: Space (and sometimes Antwerp) Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 19, 2011 02:35 PM
I go by a few things... One of them is: I pick up contact with someone when it feels right. If that is 2 weeks or 2 months, so be it. If the other person is in any way offended by that, they are expecting some kind of relationship (not necessarily romantic of course) which I simply cannot give them and in that case it's probably better if we don't stay in contact.But that's me. I'm just trying to say that time doesn't matter, if you're both on the same level, they'll understand, no matter how long it takes for you to return calls or meet up again ------------------ [Insert catchy signature here.] IP: Logged |
tuxedoMask Knowflake Posts: 1234 From: Registered: May 2011
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posted August 19, 2011 02:38 PM
unless that friend is a Cancer, yes. it is.------------------ http://tribes.tribe.net/redemptionreflection IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:38 PM
Thank you! <3 That was perfect.I just hope we are indeed on the same level and that he doesn't take it as lack of interest from me and become even more shy and nervous around me. But your advice gave me strong reassurance that he probably won't IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:39 PM
Tuxedo mask, what do u mean by that? I myself am a cancerIP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:40 PM
i think its ok to wait however long you want, but it is a 2 way street, so if the other person has a problem with you waiting to pick up the phone and call, then tell him or her to do the same!!!my ex actually had that complaint, lol and i told him the same thing ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
tuxedoMask Knowflake Posts: 1234 From: Registered: May 2011
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posted August 19, 2011 02:41 PM
quote: Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming: Tuxedo mask, what do u mean by that? I myself am a cancer
------------------ http://tribes.tribe.net/redemptionreflection IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:43 PM
NickiG, that's true thanksand TuxedoMask....ur kind of a jerk ) IP: Logged |
tuxedoMask Knowflake Posts: 1234 From: Registered: May 2011
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posted August 19, 2011 02:45 PM
http://www.compatible-astrology.com/cancer-man-disappearing.html IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:48 PM
Kay.IP: Logged |
tuxedoMask Knowflake Posts: 1234 From: Registered: May 2011
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posted August 19, 2011 02:53 PM
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100626202536AA7kcBC IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 02:56 PM
your welcome, and call whenever you feel comfortableand disregard what i said before ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 03:58 PM
I am sorry that this guy has hurt you. I as a cancer will say, though, that I can relate. However if he likes you enough he will get over his shyness and eventualy contact you after he finds he can't stop thinking about you, because that's what's happened to me when it comes to guys. I feel suffocated with this guy because we are just friends and the feelings are so strong and we've already shared quite a bit with each other, and we seem to be constantly thinking about each other even though we just met and hung out for only five days. And it's so much that I feel like if we don't give each other space we may just eventually become so obsessed and addicted that it couldn't lead anywhere healthy. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a cancer. I always call and text my friends, even if I just met them. Sometimes it is comfortable to be that close to someone because u dont feel that strongly and u wouldnt feel so bad if u stopped being friends with that person, but this guy means a lot to me so it can be overwhelming at times. It feels like we've shared too much with each other and it can be kind of embarrassing.
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NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:00 PM
quote: Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming: I am sorry that this guy has hurt you.
who was this to?? ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:01 PM
Lol. To tuxedo maskIP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:04 PM
oh, ok, lol, cuz i was about to say, if it was to me, he didnt hurt me ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:17 PM
Haha. IP: Logged |
Aya_and_baby Knowflake Posts: 1235 From: Space (and sometimes Antwerp) Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 19, 2011 04:26 PM
I never even had a Cancer man do they really just disappear? That's cool! LOL------------------ [Insert catchy signature here.] IP: Logged |
NickiG Moderator Posts: 5583 From: Pluto, next to Ami Ann Registered: Jul 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 04:39 PM
quote: Originally posted by Aya_and_baby: I never even had a Cancer man do they really just disappear? That's cool! LOL
LOLOLOL ------------------ I once saw a sign that said "sin is death" but if "all deaths are suicide (linda goodman)" and suicide is sin, then shouldnt "death is sin" be more appropriate? when organic is used to describe food then you know we have come to a dark age in history IP: Logged |
tuxedoMask Knowflake Posts: 1234 From: Registered: May 2011
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posted August 19, 2011 05:25 PM
quote: Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming: I am sorry that this guy has hurt you.
well, those posts weren't written by me but i've been in other forums where people constantly complain that Cancer's (both male and females) for some reason do a 'disappearing' act where they go away for about an entire month and then come back a little later as if nothing has happened and leaves the other person questions LOTS about their relationship. but i wanted to quote that short bit to give u the kudos at tapping into that Cancer because even though i haven't written either posts in those links, i've found myself in something a bit similar but not with someone who's a Cancer and you've unknowingly just said the right thing without probably knowing why. Thank you. regardless, i still think 2 weeks is too long lol! there has to be a healthy medium because being attached at the hip then suddenly not talking for two weeks, it'll only create a see-saw effect and neither is really all that good.. try to keep in touch but maybe limit the contacts during the day to allow each other to get some personal space and learn to appreciate the other when they're not around just as much as you do when you're together! i've been on the other end of the Cancer relationship you're speaking of, and i never really understood why you guys would do what you're thinking about.. it is VERY confusing and it really destabilizes almost all trust and bond between you and the other person. if you're meeting as friends, there should be no reason why u'd feel guilty, if they're potentially a mate, then you should pay attention to the mixed signals you're probably sending.. especially with transiting uranus squaring your sign, and mercury currently being retrograde, the last thing you'd want to do is send out mixed messages because it will most likely give you the very same thing you're trying to avoid! it's ok to be distant with the guy, but abandonment is another thing. keep in touch, text, a gentle 'hey ', or a text in the morning one at lunch and one at dinner oughta be ok.. baby steps but throwing a big whammy like that, two weeks, idk if it's really the best move to make. IP: Logged |
RunAroundScreaming Knowflake Posts: 2593 From: USA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 07:46 PM
UGH. You're right. Lol.Dang. Thank you
And you're welcome of course
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dysfunctionalmystic Knowflake Posts: 935 From: England Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 19, 2011 07:52 PM
Just tell him up front that you need some head space for a couple of weeks and you'll be in touch.if he has issues with it, just ignore him anyway. You keep saying you feel suffocated, that's not going to get any easier unless you say something. I've got a moon/uranus opposition and venus con pluto so i can sit on both sides of the fence but if you need space - you need space. IP: Logged |
Doreen Knowflake Posts: 337 From: Registered: Jun 2009
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posted August 20, 2011 01:02 AM
Poor guy why wait two weeks call him now IP: Logged |