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Author
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Topic: barforamma!
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anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 735
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 28, 2011 02:39 PM
  
As I said, it wasn't pretty or fair for you but you have to live with it. She can park her car where she needs to, and I doubt this has anything to do with you. She simply is there and parks her car there, simple as that. If I was visiting the dentist in that block, I would park as close to the dentist's office, right? That's what she's doing. It has nothing to do with you. It's unfortunate you got to walk by. But as you said, that's a small town. So, nobody fault's.
Once you get over the upset for their getting together so fast (and I'm not saying it's right), you will see that it was karmic for you to get involved with both (her as a friend and him as a bf/gf).
In the meantime, try to focus on you and your life. more hugs ;-)
A [also aqua rising with mars in aqua]
quote:
Originally posted by woah cakes:
anongrl10.. thanks for your input. i honestly don't care whether it lasts or not. i have a very "aquarian" live or let live basic philosophical outlook in general. i feel grossed out by how they both behaved toward me, however. and like, now she parks her car 1/2 a block from his house right on my route to walk my daughter to school (we live in a small town and i'd have to go two blocks out of my way to avoid walking near it) while she's at his house. i dunno if this is some passive agressive rubbing of it in my face or not, but it bothers me. if this all had been above board and if they could have just waited a month or whatever i would be far less upset. but yeah they do have some great synastry. i guess it depends what they do with it. i can't honestly say i hope the best for them cuz i don't feel very generous toward either of them anymore, but i don't hope the worst either cuz that wouldn't sit well with me. i just want her to park her car somewhere f'n else and to forget them, more or less. i don't think either friendship is recoverable.
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Hera
Knowflake Posts: 562
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 28, 2011 03:13 PM
Hello, Cakes!First off, I'm sorry you experienced this. In my opinion, you 3 probably have some collective karma you needed to work out. I don't wish to be the devil's advocate here, but I have been in this situation myself, with a Bull guy nonetheless, but in her shoes more or less. Well, in my case they weren't dating, but my friend had an obsession with this Bull man, despite the fact that he rejected her repeatedly. When she introduced him to me, it couldn't be helped. We both fell for each other at first glance. Needless to say, it led to a very heartbreaking experience for everyone involved. Though there are many differences between my story and yours, I still feel very badly about what happened and the way I acted, but unfortunately you can't always help who you fall in love with. And I fell for him hard, so hard that now, 5 years later, he's still the biggest love of my life, probably the only man I truly loved. Me and him were karmic (planets on both NN and SN for both of us) and it was a sad relationship partially because of how it begun. I believe you can't build your happiness on another's misfortune but unfortunately it took this experience to learn this the hard way. Though nobody I told this story to, blamed me and considered me a bad person (well, not to my face anyway), I can't help feeling guilty and it was that guilt that ruined my relationship with him. This experience has been most transformative for me, not necessarily in a good way. Yeah, I have matured a lot in the past 5 years, especially when it comes to relationships, and now have very strict ethics about this. But it also brought on a series of unfortunate events (karma is a ***** indeed) and though I didn't use to believe in black magic, I do now (my ex friend did this to me and the Bull). So I think, in a way, justice had been made. The 3 of us are all karmically linked and unfortunately whatever differences we had in past lives neither of us handled them too well in this life, so we might meet again in a next life and reapeat the pattern.
I don't know if my story will help you, but felt the need to share it. Right now it's still too recent and too raw and you need to live out your anger for the two of them before you can move on to forgiveness and letting them go. Perhpas there is a higher reason for this thing to have happened and when you will be in a more detached state of mind, think about what it was trying to teach you. IP: Logged |
woah cakes
Knowflake Posts: 605
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted September 28, 2011 04:18 PM
thanks for sharing, hera  i only have a minute before i gotta run out but i wanted to say to anongrl.. actually, she parks on my walk route, half a block from his house, not on his street. she could park on his street or the other side, which is actually closer to his house. and she knows i walk there every day. and there is no way it's going to not upset me when i see that car so it does make a difference to me. back later IP: Logged |
woah cakes
Knowflake Posts: 605
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted September 29, 2011 12:09 PM
hi hera! wow, i just read over what you wrote, unrushed, and it makes so much sense! yeah i do feel like i need to go through the feelings right now, if only for the fact that as an aqua i tend to try to push through feelings quickly to come to the detached-lesson and i just don't think that would be the best course for me right now. of course our situations are very different but i see some parallels and it is helpful for me. i think in your situation that guilt would of course come into play BUT at the same time, if they weren't actually involved and he rejected her, then it would seem you didn't actually betray her. though of course it would upset her and would cause a rift between the two of you, because it probably hurt her tremendously to see you together. it sounds like it was definitely karmic. gosh you know what's weird? the other time this happened to me was with my other good friend and ex and i know forsure that one's karmic because he still has strong feelings for me yet is also an abusive jerk toward me, and anyway, their composite chart is almost IDENTICAL to my chart (there we each born about 13 months apart from me, either way). so yeah. karma's interesting. and if these ARE karmic, i guess it's important that we be gentle with ourselves as far as guilt because learning the lessons is what matters and before we can learn, we need to make mistakes. my current anger and hurt right now has to do with neither of them seeming to give a fig about me. she is writing me letters that are basically telling me that what they have is far superior to what we had, bottom line, and justifying it that way (she knows next to nothing about our relationship because not only was she not in it, i didn't tell her much at all). she seems to have no issue with having jumped into it before either he or i had the time to process anything, which i find, at the very least, disrespectful. oh and i ended it with him when i had had only a few hours sleep and was hungover and due to my concluding that he was likely planning on cheating on me with her and because he was sort of being a d!ck. not that she had any insight into that fact, but still, in a situation like this, common sense would dictate that you give it some time, especially when it involves your supposed good friend. ANYWAY in your situtaion it wasn't really like that, and it is too bad that your relationship had to end over your guilt. i suppose, yeah, it may have been necessary (karmic) for it to go that way, but is there any hope of reconcilliation? also was your friend a scorpio? if i got you right, she was performing black magic upon your relationship? yikes. i hope you can find your way out of the sadness from all this and the three of you can find some peace and happiness somehow! and yeah i think in my case what is hurting me the most is losing two friends in one go. though i suppose this guy may have just been effing me around for kicks (or out of deep immaturity or insecurity) and as such was never a real friend. but of course there is always nuance (on the other hand, maybe nuance is the enemy); like for instance i always felt like our saturn opposition kept us in check and like we were slowly whittling out aspects of our psyches together and learning things in a nice, sober level of interacting. and also the venus/chiron conjunction of half a degree was at times EXTRAORDINARILY healing and loving and sweet, but i think it was almost TOO many deep feelings stirred up with that one- maybe this is why it often manifests so harshly, because contending with deep feelings stirred up for healing can be scary as sh!t so to anyone who's inclined to do so, using those tender, shared experiences against the other would be tempting. okay i think i blah blahed enough..  IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 562
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 29, 2011 01:21 PM
Cakes, I think it is important to not deny your feelings and if you can, find a good outlet for them. I have a bit of Aqua in my chart too (Uranus-Sun and Aqua intercepted in my first sometimes acting like a second Asc), I rush to the part when I don't feel and just think, rationally, cold, matter of factly, but it is always better to allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling. You have every right to feel angry with the two of them, I think they should at least have the decency to not rub it in your face. The sad part about romantic triangles is that everyone loses something, they don't know it yet but life rarely lets you get away with something like that.
As for me, my friendship with her (she was Aries, like me) ended a while before this incident, that only cut the chord completely. She was very angry, especially with me, of course. But truth be told, we liked the same guy before and when I thought she had more chances than me or was more in love than I was, I backed out. She didn't return the favor. In fact, our friendship was more one-sided, it was always about her and her neverending crisis. I'm not saying this to justify my actions, but when I think back now, that friendship was already dead and it was only a matter of time before it ended completely. Unfortunately, it had to happen like this and I feel sorry about that, but I think overall it was for the best. Me and the Bull dated for only 6 months, didn't even sleep together because of my guilt. We tried to remain friends for abour 3-4 years until I finally cut the chord with him as well about 3 weeks ago. A part of me still loves him, but I think what happened was just too much and he was always a reminder of my darker self, the one that believed all is fair in love and war. He had such an effect on me, to such extent that I rendered him as toxic. I know me and him are soulmates, despite the immense pain he has brought in my life, he still remains my biggest teacher in life. But I needed to get over him so I can start to forgive myself for what I did and I could only do that if we were no longer in contact.
Looking back now, this experience has taught me so much and was the start of a brand new life for me, though it is still filled with loneliness and desperation most of the times. But the person I became now is due to that particular event. It took a lot of time and some therapy to be able to see the good in it, but trust me... even though it seems horrible and it feels even worse, it is probably for the better, for your highest good. IP: Logged |
woah cakes
Knowflake Posts: 605
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted September 29, 2011 01:28 PM
wow, thanks for sharing that.. that is quite the journey.. i'm in the middle of a few things but i wanted to say quickly that i know in my case it's also or the best and actually i was feeling similarily about my friend as you with yours as well; that it was already sort of on a downward trajectory and was rather one sided, so i'm feeling pretty free and good about it at times.. thanks for everything you said gotta go for now! IP: Logged |
Hera
Knowflake Posts: 562
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 29, 2011 01:42 PM
Though it is sad and tormenting, sometimes we need a big shake-up like this to get us to separate from people who are no longer on the same page with us, to make room for others who will help us grow...
Again, I am not trying to justify what I did, I am still ashamed of it. But honestly, if this wouldn't have happened, me and her would probably still be friends because I didn't have it in me to cut her off because she was always so needy. Still, I should have acted differently and not cause her so much pain, but I cannot reverse that now. All I can do is learn from what happened and eventually learn to forgive myself for it. Guilt is a horrible thing to live with...IP: Logged |
carl
Knowflake Posts: 770
From: China
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 12, 2011 10:17 PM
WC - I would not worry about it one second longer. From what I have seen on this site, you are cool, intelligent and quite beautiful. So it sounds like this dude is a doofus and friend, not worth the energy it would take to even write a paragraph more about her.IP: Logged | |
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