posted November 18, 2011 11:53 PM            

I believe we all have relationships for different reasons. Life is a relative experience, one person's medicine may be another's poison. Therefor it is simple for me to come up with anecdotes regarding scenarios I have participated in, but it has always been important for me to remember my view of relationships are defined by a small collection of experiences (compared to all the relationships throughout all of time, between all objects). I believe part of having a healthy relationship in my life, is discovering self-fulfillment before making that kind of commitment. A deep understanding of one's self, acts as fertile ground for the nurturing of another person's flower. If one is not aware of what is in their soil, why would they plant something they cared about in it?

I believe by focusing on making our self better, we become better for those we love. Finding a person with similar goals and a desire to cooperate in reaching those goals; that is a healthy start IMO. I believe in a partner as being someone we love to hike up the mountain with, not someone who's legs we have to use just to walk to the bathroom. I see the latter being common in the people I have known throughout my life. It seems often people just get into relationships because it is what humans are supposed to do. I am too independent for that to be a sufficient reason. Life is a vast and wonderful experience without riding on someone's back or slinging someone over mine. If two people are self-fulfilled, they are in a relationship due to choice, not necessity.

" there was someone i met that had saturn in their fifth and they went through something similar and are probably as cut-to-it as i'm picking up from you, from what u wrote, to be.. they had a scorpio rising..... they had mars opposing saturn.. i found that humanity, according to them, was 'wrong' but from my point of view, humanity was wrong but only from where they were standing.."

I can definitely see me being able to fall into a similar attitude, but I think I have a lot of things preventing that from happening (namely having Saturn and Mars share the 5th instead of oppose each other). I am an animist in a sense, as I believe everything in it's present form exists (or lives) to be what it is, and anthropomorphically associating with things, is sort of insulting and closed minded. I love animals and people get freaked out when their psychotic antisocial cat walks up and passes out in my lap, like he's my best buddy. Part of why I think animals like me is because I strive to view all objects with the same validity as I do my self. I look at animals and plants the same way I would look at an intelligent alien race, I assume my inability to communicate is due to my own stupidity, not theirs. I often delight in pondering things like; if plants perceive time; or if we seem like speedy little flies zipping around in circles of home, bed, shower, work, home, bed, shower, work..... Afterword I return to a realization, that plants may not even feel as though they exist in our world. I know each object I relate with is defined by the paradigm my mind creates for it, but I also know my view of them is just a story I tell my self. The most valuable thing I can offer another being is space to be their self, instead of a nice shiny box filled with descriptions. Even when I tell the stories about my parents, it is my view of what happened, how I walked away from the situation, not the 100% law. My parents may have seen things differently, neither of us are wrong, just watching the show from different seats.

Humans live their entire lives believing the world is solid (thanks Saturn), but everything we perceive is just our brain making patterns out of electromagnetic goop. Even our brain is an imagined concept, we don't really have a brain, we have a "centralized" processing mechanism and we decided to make it look like a squishy walnut, toss it in our skull, and call it brain. I agree that humanity is not unique from nature, but a symbiotic expression of it. I even take that belief to the point of accepting all the selfish or bad decisions we make as an indication of being a baby species.

I have been fortunate enough to have been through a Saturn return too, so a lot of the angsty conflicts and view of the world have been tempered and channeled a bit.

"i've had totally different experiences with the world and animals and people and asked them if maybe they considered that beauty and vanity were all a part of nature as well and that perhaps plants would actually appreciate to be taken, adorned and set up to be admired and i don't really remember if they said anything about that or if they went on with their 'disappointment' of everything."

That reminds me of this great story:

I was probably 19 and had eaten a lot of acid. My friend and I were wandering the streets of the city at night and he suddenly suggested I follow him. We went into a grocery store and he asked me to pick out the piece of fruit which I felt was the most beautiful. He then lead me and my shiny new nectarine, to a cool little footbridge in the middle of nowhere. We sat down and he said, "Look at your nectarine, isn't it beautiful?" I remember that nectarine like it was the only nectarine I have ever eaten. It was smooth and shiny, with taut skin and fading stripes of yellow, peach, and deep crimson. "Smell it" he said, and I inhaled deeply. The moist aroma filled my nostrils, it was like the skin was begging, panting to be torn, so the juice could finally escape. "What color does it smell?" Oddly enough, it smelled purple. "Bite it". Suddenly I had a reaction, I didn't want to bite it, it was alive, and beautiful, and...purpl-y. "I don't want to hurt it." I said... Then he turned to me and said one of the most brilliant things anyone has ever said to me about fruit lol. He said "That piece of fruit lived it's entire life just for this moment, it slowly worked, stretched, and shaped its self, so someone with your tastes would find it the most beautiful and then what? Not eat it? Which action do you think is really hurting the nectarine?" So I bit it, and tasted the joy of that delicious piece of fruit, like it was shouting "OMMFG I'm finally getting eaten!" And with every delicious juicy bite, it fed off my appreciation, so happy that it made me so happy. It loved being adored, and inhaled, and eventually devoured.

Of course I planted the seed afterword (which made the seed happy hehe).

I think part of the point is, projections are inevitable. It is the essential energy of the DSC to define "other". I think I am very fortunate to have Uranus in the 7th, because among all the not-so-romantic parts to Uranus, I am at least able to define "other" as "whatever", without having a personal conflict.

"have you wondered if maybe your own early experience has lead you to possibly sabotage (maybe unknowingly) certain situations and relationships because of what you had experiences?"

I actually count on that being true. I spent several years knowing I had to be acting out of old habits/experiences, but not being able to see the actions as they happened. Having Neptune conjunct Sun, there are many occasions where I have to sit and wait for the fog to clear, knowing full well what will be behind it. Neptune is a planet which requires time (oddly enough as it seems to be such a timeless concept), but it doesn't work fast like Uranus, it waits until the issue is palatable, then it sprinkles some sugar on top, and it finally presents the problem. As I have gotten older I am much more aware of my actions, but when I was younger, I had to rely on the results of my actions to point to my personal issues. Whenever I tried to look at my self, all I saw was fog. To this day I forget what I look like until I stand in front of a mirror. /shrug

"have u gone to a date with something already created in mind; meeting them just awaiting for what ever it was that you expected?"

I had a great conversation with a friend a while back. Unfortunately I didn't find out his birth info (Sun Aqu/Cap cusp), we discovered that when we met someone we were attracted to, we would fantasize about that person and build this emotional bond with our idea of the person. Then when interacting with the real person, it became very awkward, because we had this deep connection with an idealize version of them, but retained no real connection with them outside our heads. Often times the idealized version was so much more palatable, that it ruined our chances or interest with the actual person. So definitely, I would say a childhood filled with wishing and wondering about a relationship with my parents, may have resulted in doing the same with others.

posted November 19, 2011 12:24 AM            

i haven't read it all the way through yet but i really had to get that out lolll i have a feeling i'm gonna like it!

Pluto's in the sixth, unite!

posted November 19, 2011 12:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
think i just soiled myself

i haven't read it all the way through yet but i really had to get that out lolll i have a feeling i'm gonna like it!

Pluto's in the sixth, unite!

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posted November 19, 2011 12:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
"i .. Isn't life cool? =D

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i don't think i can really express to you just HOOWWWWWWWWWWWW much i thoroughly enjoyed it!!!!!!!!!!!!

that was amazingly refreshing!
i'm blown the f*ck way!

thank u very much for your post!
i dunno.. it felt, like i connected!

your juice is so sweeeeet

neptune trines my sun
and ascendant
ascendant trines sun

posted November 19, 2011 12:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
.._

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please, accept this as a gift:

posted November 19, 2011 12:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:

here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxdkqsME0Xw

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Thank you =D

That pic is from one of my favorite movies, visually. And the link was exactly what I needed to hear this very moment.

posted November 19, 2011 01:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
i'm trying to think about what 'realistic' means to me and about how i have, or haven't i been reasonable/fair when it comes to love..

what sits in your seventh house? where is it's ruler, it's aspects and what do you consider to be 'realistic' within a relationship? do you think your standards/expectations are reasonable? why or why not? also (because my bff wants to know) ..are u single? lol

feel free to share personal experiences or early conditioning that you believe might've influenced the way you think or feel today; if you'd like to do so by sharing some of your fifth house, by all means.

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First, it's so ... ironic that I see this post right after I was just thinking of my expectations in relationships. I don't know if any of them match what's in my 7th house, but let's give it a go!

So, first my 7th house is ruled by Sagittarius who we all know is ruled by Jupiter. My Jupiter is in Gemini in the 12th house (but more and more I'm considering switching to Whole Sign, which puts it in the 1st. Anyway.) Next, I have Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune all in Capricorn and all sitting pretty in my 7th house. I have Sun and Venus squaring both Saturn and Neptune (yay. -_-) Actually, Mercury squaring Neptune as well. I feel that aspect whether or not traditional astrologers say the orb is too wide to be considered.

I think it's realistic to expect comfort and consistency. I want someone who's persistent, and genuine. The only problem comes when I don't know if they're being persistent to prove it to themselves (they like the challenge) or they genuinely WANT me. I think Neptune plays a part in that thinking, as does my self-esteem which I haven't given much thought to really. I've been too busy analyzing human behavior as a whole all these years.

I realized tonight as well I want someone who I can grow into a new person with. Someone private, someone with personality and pizazz. Showy in public but tender in private kind of person. I need a psychic connection with them too, and I've experienced it the strongest with Leos and Aquariuses. I want someone who is forthright, PLEASE. I ABHOR people who play little games and make me guess what's wrong. First of all, you're the man - be upfront about it. Be upfront, but be nice. It's not hard. One of my lessons is learning to understand people can show me they care and are concerned, bothered, upset - without yelling. I grew up with a very hot-headed Arian mother who's buttons were easily pushed, she's easily offended, and overreacts very quickly. I think I strove to get more negative responses because they were different from her usual pass-ay ones. Huh. I'm writing that one down for therapy.

posted November 19, 2011 01:17 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Xiiro:
[b] .._

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please, accept this as a gift:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9RAiBifdjk [/B][/QUOTE]

This is the movie I was talking about. How's this for some Pluto in Libra? That was a beautiful song BTW,

"By the end of the night
You'll be hanging from the moon
And making friends with the stars".

posted November 19, 2011 02:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Xiiro:
This is the movie I was talking about. How's this for some Pluto in Libra? That was a beautiful song BTW,

"By the end of the night
You'll be hanging from the moon
And making friends with the stars".

Awesome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ILNJY5r9Gk&feature=related

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i don't know what it'd be that we have in our charts but man, i've got u in here i am seriously taken by whatever our charts have going on!

aronofsky! it's one of my fav's, too! that guy's brilliant! i used to have films and music for breakfast, lunch and dinner with snacks in between!

glad you liked it! there are many, many, many more links that i'm trying to contain myself from sending your way so as to not overwhelm u, lol!

my pluto's at 10º.. scorpio;

posted November 19, 2011 02:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
i don't know what it'd be that we have in our charts but man, i've got u in here

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Thank you again for sharing so much of your self. You are kind of a fixture here on LL and I look up to you as a person with amazing insights. It means a lot. Here's my chart, you are welcome to see where we connect. I know your Pluto is close to my Uranus.

Interestingly enough art and music have played a big part in my growing up too. I never learned to read music either but had a really great ear so managed to scrape by unnoticed lol. I ended up going into the entertainment business as well, but it was video game design (which I also abandoned because of politics haha). Art is my blood and whenever I am feelign stressed I paint or compose. I havent gotten around to teaching my self how to use photoshop or any music creation programs, so generally when I do put something together, it is a beat or a small piece of music. I admit visual art is a more readily available medium for energy release.

posted November 19, 2011 02:45 AM            

your moon is 3 degrees away from my Sun.
3 degrees away from my south node
and 1 away from BML (all in my 5th but your 6th)
your venus is exactly trine mine in Cancer
and it also trines my moon in Leo (both in your fourth)
your uranus is exactly conj. my descendant
my mercury's on your north node
..your jupiter, i mean, it goes on and on and on and on!!!

LOL!!! know what i searched, for that second pic i posted with the song linked?

posted November 19, 2011 03:05 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
i can't stop laughing here!!!!!!

...

LOL!!! know what i searched, for that second pic i posted with the song linked?

'soul unity'

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posted November 19, 2011 03:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
i'm trying to think about what 'realistic' means to me and about how i have, or haven't i been reasonable/fair when it comes to love..

what sits in your seventh house? where is it's ruler, it's aspects and what do you consider to be 'realistic' within a relationship? do you think your standards/expectations are reasonable? why or why not? also (because my bff wants to know) ..are u single? lol

feel free to share personal experiences or early conditioning that you believe might've influenced the way you think or feel today; if you'd like to do so by sharing some of your fifth house, by all means.

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The ruler of my 7th since is in gemini is mercury and mercury is the most prominent planet in my chart but for reasons explained earlier I don't think I am realistic in love and lean more towards been idealistic.

This are my mercury aspects:

Mercury is in virgo in the 9th but conjuncts my MC by a 2 degree orb.

Mercury opposes my moon.

Mercury squares my AC.

Mercury semisquares saturn

Mercury squares Neptune

Mercury squares NN.

Mercury semisquare eros

Mercury semisextile vertex.

posted November 19, 2011 04:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DepTaurus:
All the time i am just sick of hearing that tho you know what i mean is oh this person is this way because somehow or someway deep down it started with the parents. The honest truth is it just does not appeal to me, the relationship factor has no appeal i would see my peers in 6 and 7 grade hooking up and i was the only one that was not into it i was like wtf are you idiots doing.

marriage just does not intrest me, because i could care less about having that special person their. i feel that many people on earth have many different ways of living and different paths to take. I just hate those who feel they have to get together with someone just because the parents did it the grandparents did and so on. i hate when the sheep follow the heard. I never been that type i know it sounds like i avoid the relationship and marriage because i hate being like everyone else but its not the case with me. i love waking up alone and saying ok i`m going to go here then their then come home and do that, without having to check in with someone or always having to justify where i am going and who with and when and why all that b.s you know. i like me and my space.

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I completely understand what you are saying but I came to understand your view in the last year of my life and I now recent society for conditioning me to want to get married since I was a little girl bc now that I am I feel that perhaps is not for me. I would have been happier having just friends that I really like and care for and not committing but now I have to do my best to make it work bc I am in this relationship and I dont like breaking hearts since I dont like to get mine broken.

posted November 19, 2011 04:19 AM            

I feel society needs to stress early on that there are different lifestyles that people can follow and that getting married and having kids shouldn't be what is expected from everyone or the norm but more like the EXCEPTION. I bet this way less divorce will take place and less bad parenting will happen as well.

But biologically we are wired to want to reproduce so our minds need to be conscious of this in order to create a society were getting married and having kids is the exception as oppose to the norm. Our mind will have to override our biological instincts so less divorce and bad parenting takes place.

posted November 19, 2011 05:04 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
i'm trying to think about what 'realistic' means to me and about how i have, or haven't i been reasonable/fair when it comes to love..

what sits in your seventh house? where is it's ruler, it's aspects and what do you consider to be 'realistic' within a relationship? do you think your standards/expectations are reasonable? why or why not? also (because my bff wants to know) ..are u single? lol

feel free to share personal experiences or early conditioning that you believe might've influenced the way you think or feel today; if you'd like to do so by sharing some of your fifth house, by all means.

---

I have Chiron in Taurus in the 7th, and an empty 5th.

I am still divided on the interpretation of Chiron - we have the wounded healer concept, or the Magi's marriage interpretation (which I don't fully understand as yet - I'm not sure if they only apply this interpretation in synastry or synastry and natal - I would assume the latter).

Taking the first concept, I guess you could say that I look to transform pain into healing through relationships - either my own, or others'. And this has played out in my relationships. My inner psychologist goes into overdrive if I see someone I love struggling with something, I go willingly into the dark with them. And I do look for that same level of commitment in a partner, but as yet, I have not wholly found it.

posted November 19, 2011 11:04 AM            

IMHO relationships have got more to do with becoming whole and complete in yourself whilst accepting the freedom of another to be themselves, than what they have to do with finding an ideal mate who holds onto you forever while confirming how wonderful you are.

Yes, that's right- compelling chemistry is most likely to cause a relationship to strike up between you and Mr/Ms INCOMPATIBLE.

Why? Well, we are meant to Develop and Grow in life, so we are energetically attracted to those people who own the qualities we think we lack or do not wish to acknowledge. Our relationships do not exist to make us feel good all the time -their purpose is an often difficult and painful means of discovering where we need to stop projecting our expectations onto others and start being complete in ourselves so we embody love and don't look for it outside of ourselves any more.