posted November 18, 2011 07:35 PM            

what sits in your seventh house? where is it's ruler, it's aspects and what do you consider to be 'realistic' within a relationship? do you think your standards/expectations are reasonable? why or why not? also (because my bff wants to know) ..are u single? lol

posted November 18, 2011 08:14 PM            

i wasn't sure if i should post anything before anyone got a chance to say anything so that what i was going to post wouldn't have gotten in the middle of anyone's 'creative' flow; i hope that this doesn't -found this article to be interesting:

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It is human nature to believe that when we embark upon a new adventure we are going to do it better than anyone else has ever done it before. Think about it. Prior to packing our bags for our vacation to Europe we really believe we are going to see Europe the “right” way. When we begin a new job we truly think we are going to be better at it than anyone else who has done it before us. In other words, we undertake new activities with very high expectations for our performance. This is a very positive aspect of human nature.

In our relationships however; unrealistic expectations may be at the root of unnecessary disappointments and frustrations. Every relationship should have as its goal expectations that are solid, healthy and realistically based.

Now I am not for a second suggesting that we have low expectations for our relationship. Low expectations are, in fact, counterproductive to our relationship and increase the tendency for us to underestimate our partner. This underestimation of our partner can leave our partner feeling extremely disrespected. This is an absolute relationship killer!

Unrealistically high expectations, on the other hand, set our relationship up for failure. They set our partner up for not being able to deliver on a promise they either have not made or are incapable of delivering on.

Having unrealistic expectations for your relationship practically guarantees disappointment, anger, bitterness and ultimately failure.

After a relationship has lost its novelty, and the honeymoon phase is long gone, deep feelings of resentment, disappointment and anger towards our partner often emerge if a couple has not set up realistic expectations for their relationship.

Unrealistic expectations leave a trail of broken promises and an array of negative feelings between partners.

In order to avoid this disastrous situation you must remember one thing. When you are setting up expectations for your relationship, it is imperative that you have a realistic understanding of what you are most likely to receive. This will allow you to create realistic goals for your relationship based on solid and healthy expectations. It is great to set high expectations for your relationship, as long as these expectations are grounded in a realistic framework.

We do not aspire to become a biologist if we are not good in science. We do not aspire to have a singing career if we cannot hold a musical note. And we cannot expect from our partner a lifestyle or behavior of which they are just not capable of providing.

Remember, when setting expectations for your relationship you must be realistic. Your partner’s innate qualities and capabilities will not change because you set unrealistic expectations for them. Realistic expectations will help to create a lifetime of love and happiness in your relationship.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann http://advice.lovedetour.com/drpattyann/setting-realistic-expectations-for-your-relationship.html

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posted November 18, 2011 08:16 PM            

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Originally posted by scrappydog:
Ruler of my 7th is pluto of course and its conj my libra sun 1 deg.
Venus in virgo in the 5th square neptune in the 8th. Jupiter in virgo is also in the 5th, but not conj.
I'm a person that is very love/relationship orientated, srong need to love and be loved. Or at least I used to be, the past year (after my saturn return) I have kinda toughened up and backed off.

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posted November 18, 2011 08:21 PM            

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Originally posted by scrappydog:
Baby U sound like me! Grrr!

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posted November 18, 2011 08:25 PM            

Aries Rising: Your Type is symmetrical-featured, quiet, beautiful, take-anywhere, never cusses, sedate and ever-so-slightly Gwyneth-Zombie-Legolas like.

Taurus Rising: Your Type is dark, lithe and fuqed up in an exciting Freudian sort of a style: Joaquin Phoenix or any of the Black Swan girls, even Winona when she went ape at Natalie and the Choreographer.

Gemini Rising: Your Type is Not There, On The Road, supposedly calling you from Buenos Aires if they can get off the island, HOT LEGS, manky hair, circus-clown type clothes, unsettled.

Crab-Kataka Rising: Your Type is suit Guys or Girls, Ayn Rand leads, pinstripes, Organizational People that you’d really rather not fancy but you just do. A maid’s outfit may or may not come into the equation.

Leo Rising: Your Type is whacked out maniacs whom you suspect are actually robots. You tell everyone the thing is happening because you’re so avant garde and open-minded but it’s actually just all about the Sex. You know it’s better with unstable people and you watch a lot of foreign cinema.

Virgo Rising: Your Type is wild-eyed, Neptunian challenged nutters, hot in the sack and so super talented you don’t care that they want you to back their genius and vision just long enough for them to take off with one of your best friends and/or boss. Dancing on the table and damsel in distress work well for you.

Libra Rising: Your Type is the Alpha man or woman in any circumstance, ego-maniacal, primitive and a total show-off. Pull-ups on the door frame or arm-wrestling the bouncer can have you going home with the character. Think also: fireman, policewoman etc. Uniforms. Official competence and courage. Joel Edgerton in Warrior.

Scorpio Rising: Your Type is Buddha-esque calm-vibing types with proper qualifications in yoga, massage and/or cooking. You like them solid of bod and tranquil of mind.

Saggo Rising: Your Type is Skinny and/or totally youthful looking with about 10,000 personal interests and/or friends to distract them from stalking you for attention, dates and sex when you’ve already had it with yourself or on a plane that day etc. They have quotable “bite-sized” morsels re their life for you to mention to your friends and lives that can be quickly pared down into awesome keywords.

Capricorn Rising: Your Type is Boobs and/or a woodsman type – primal gender cliched, does not like to talk or attend loud, crowded spaces but would rather soothe your fevered brow. Like the partner of a Caligula or a Messalina. They first turn you on re psychic detective info re your enemies.

Aquarius Rising; your Type is a Total trophy person – looks-looks-looks and usually a star or champion in some way. Officially charismatic/friends agree he/she is hot or you are not into it. You like ego, performance and stunts.

posted November 18, 2011 08:34 PM            

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Originally posted by scrappydog:
Yes the gemini husband, his neptune fell in my 7th, conj my mars and squared my venus, tho the square to venus was kinda generaltional since I had it natally. His natal neptune conj his own desc 0 deg and he lies/cheats/financially exploits evey woman hes with. The one hes married to now, he refuses to sleep with, only uses her for money, lmfao. Soo natal neptune in the 7th!
But 2nd husband had only had his neptune conj my mercury and he robbed me. Yes I mean that literally. We were married for three years and everything was great...then he gets on drugs...then he robs my house. True story people...

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did u scrap him? yikes, none of that sounds pleasant.. i definitely think that you'd prob be better off being a cougar!

posted November 18, 2011 08:46 PM            

have you looked more into that neptune? i could really just ask you questions all day about it.. u ever start a thread about it? i had neptune on my descendant in a few synastries but not any that have really gone the great mile, or anything.. i dunno. i have some stuff that i can post onto the thread about the neptune if u decide to do so; have only other than the synastries felt it somewhat in my solar return.

posted November 18, 2011 08:54 PM            

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
i'm trying to think about what 'realistic' means to me and about how i have, or haven't i been reasonable/fair when it comes to love..

what sits in your seventh house? where is it's ruler, it's aspects and what do you consider to be 'realistic' within a relationship? do you think your standards/expectations are reasonable? why or why not? also (because my bff wants to know) ..are u single? lol

feel free to share personal experiences or early conditioning that you believe might've influenced the way you think or feel today; if you'd like to do so by sharing some of your fifth house, by all means.

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DSC Libra
Conjunct Pluto Libra 6th House
Sextile Neptune Sag 8th House
Contains Uranus Scorpio
Uranus sextile Moon (forming a yod with Eris conjunct SN. Pluto conjunct DSC/NN is the release point)
Uranus sextile MC
Uranus square Mars

My DSC's traditional ruler is Venus Scorpio 8th House. I attribute Eris Aries 12th House to Libra's contemporary rule and consider both planets equally important.

What do you consider to be 'realistic' within a relationship? -

I'm not sure I understand your exact meaning, so I will answer based on what I consider "should" happen within a real relationship. I believe communication, understanding, and respect are the major indicators of a functional relationship. I believe understanding is essential because it affords both parties a reason to respect and communicate. I believe respect is essential, because it affords both parties the choice of using their understanding to uplift and support each other as dependents. I believe communication is essential, because it affords both parties the tools for deepening their understanding and respect through whatever arises.

Do you think your standards/expectations are reasonable? why or why not? -

Yes, in an ideal situation. No, because people often build relationships based on a desire to play out and transform old habits/experiences. Expecting others to set aside their experiences and be vulnerable to another's understanding does not seem realistic. It may be equally unrealistic to expect a person to accept everything they find within a person they intend to love. In this way, I tend to lack the ability to truly practice what I preach. I am willing to understand, respect, and communicate deeply with those I date, but ultimately I play for my own team. The moment they disrespect any of the "three cardinal rules" (LOL), I begin to find so much fault in them I no longer am capable of respecting them. They eventually wake up to me gone, without so much as a goodbye note.

Are u single? -

Yes, it is difficult for me to get back into the game. I have no interest in all the BS that goes a long with courting. Sadly, people tend to go directly from acquaintances to best friends, bypassing the whole relationship stage (damn you Uranus). My friendships are often deep and built on a strong respect. I also tend to attract weirdos, because they feel they can open up to me and I will accept them no matter what (which is true unless they start crossing lines).

if you'd like to do so by sharing some of your fifth house, by all means -

My 5th House is ruled by Leo and contains:

Mars in Leo
trine Sun/Neptune Sag 8th House
trine Eris Aries 12th House
sextile Pluto Libra 6th House
square Uranus

and

Saturn in Virgo
trine Chiron Taurus 1st House
trine Mercury Capricorn 9th House
sextile Jupiter Cancer 3rd House
square Venus Scorpio 8th House

I think this reaction comes from having a commitment-phobic/commitment-obsessed Scorpio father and a Cancer mother who is obsessive/compulsive about her relationships with others. I grew up with both my parents dangling the carrot of love over my head, but always keeping me at arms length. My father did this because he feared a real relationship could result in me learning about his secrets and deciding I didn't like him. Keeping me wanting a relationship at least guaranteed he was wanted. My mother did the same, because she always felt she had to prove her worth and usefulness to her Capricorn father and competitive Sagittarian mother. She has always feared having no worth or use and therefor felt she would always have some worth, if I was constantly seeking a relationship with her.

posted November 18, 2011 09:21 PM            

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Originally posted by scrappydog:
Xiiro, pluto in libra in the 6th h? r u a little bit of a hypocondriac?? I was just wondering because I have sun conj pluto in libra in the 6th and I am so like this and have read that others r too.

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I was very lucky not to get the hypochondriac thing. My mood effects my health however. If I am depressed I easily catch other people's colds, my sensitive skin will break out from using the wrong products, etc.. When I am in good spirits, my health is virtually invincible.

I am often able to use my health as an indicator that deeper work needs attention. =)

posted November 18, 2011 09:43 PM            

thanks for opening up in that way!

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Originally posted by Xiiro:

What do you consider to be 'realistic' within a relationship? -

I'm not sure I understand your exact meaning, s..

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this was exactly the reason that lead me to post this.. i wasn't so sure what 'realistic' would be and if it would be 'realistic' and according to whom, exactly? if the only reference we would have as 'realistic' would be our memories of seeing other people and what they've experienced, then i don't know if that's what i would want out of a relationship so i posted it to see if other people maybe felt the same way or thought about it along similar lines..

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Do you think your standards/expectations are reasonable? why or why not? -

Yes, in an ideal situation. No, because people often build relationships based on a desire to play out and transform old habits/experiences.

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i've found this to be a bit of a pain when i've encountered it.. it's that 'projection' i think we've all heard be talked about.. there's gotta be a way to really be able to tap into that and claim it back so that it's not just waiving around there at everybody and neutralize the effect to, --i dunno, what happens when one stop's projecting? does it end? lol... what qualities from other people do we look for then? or do we just stop looking at all because we've been self-fulfilled?

*sigh....

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Are u single? -

Yes, it is difficult for me to get back into the game. I have no interest in all the BS that goes a long with courting.

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i definitely vibed with this; same with me, kind of (to an extent).. then i saw your listed aspects and i have pluto conjunct my descendant also in my 6th!

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if you'd like to do so by sharing some of your fifth house, by all means -

I think this reaction comes from having a commitment-phobic/commitment-obsessed Scorpio father and a Cancer mother who is obsessive/compulsive about her relationships with others. I gre...

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and this^ was incredibly powerful! thanks opening up like that.. there was someone i met that had saturn in their fifth and they went through something similar and are probably as cut-to-it as i'm picking up from you, from what u wrote, to be.. they had a scorpio rising.

i didn't know if it would really be relevant (but it leads me to a few questions); that aspect weighed them down a loooot!

it works against them, weird as it seems.. :/

just a discussion with them about plants; they swore that humans were such cruel beings because of taking plants indoors and the things they do to the world, etc etc..

basically, what they were faced with when they were young led them to believe that the world was ok but that something was wrong with 'humanity' but didn't consider the possibility of humanity being a part of nature and all things that are considered natural, to be a part of nature, itself!

they had mars opposing saturn.. i found that humanity, according to them, was 'wrong' but from my point of view, humanity was wrong but only from where they were standing..

i've had totally different experiences with the world and animals and people and asked them if maybe they considered that beauty and vanity were all a part of nature as well and that perhaps plants would actually appreciate to be taken, adorned and set up to be admired and i don't really remember if they said anything about that or if they went on with their 'disappointment' of everything.

what the saturn taught them (which i'm taking is now just creating and re-creating for them it's own self-fulfilling prophecies) was that the all-knowing looked down upon them for their human nature and without questioning, they took it as a fact and still carry that and project that around everywhere.

have you wondered if maybe your own early experience has lead you to possibly sabotage (maybe unknowingly) certain situations and relationships because of what you had expericned?

posted November 18, 2011 10:00 PM            

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Originally posted by DepTaurus:
..l marry early in life. WTF that turns me off so much the idea of marriage to anybody. To loose my freedom for somebody else no way.

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i was hoping you'd go on to see if in any way, you found either one of your parents' freedom's to have been something they were resentful or depressed about..

'marriage', at least, what it means to you and what you've been taught about it for some reason give you the impression that it is some kind of imprisonment.. have you thought about why that is?

there doesn't have to be a look at 'marriage' in the way that tradition has looked at it.. perhaps through marriage you might find a certain freedom that you may not be able to experience with someone or anyone else because of the dynamics due to the type of relationship that it is..

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I h.. person who does their own thing but knows how to please me in different ways. ..tracted to crazy unstable or unreachable people. with neptune ..d i am attracted to the illusion of relationships .., also the downtrodden turns me on ..

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again, how much of that is similar or at least very much along the same lines of what your parents may have had going for them?

posted November 18, 2011 10:09 PM            

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Originally posted by tuxedoMask:
again, how much of that is similar or at least very much along the same lines of what your parents may have had going for them?

what kind of movies and things do they see? what things were around that gives you that leaning? you've got to associate what you see in people that seems to give u the impression that they're the 'downtrodden' with something that is to be admired and there's a reason for that..

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posted November 18, 2011 10:28 PM            

it's so annoying!

sometimes i've thought about someone that i might've met and then i say to myself, 'ok, this is who they are, (*insert one of parents' "love-friend" here*). this is what's going to happen and this is what you're going to do and how it's going to play out.. --as if they were on a schedule, as if they were a train and as if i was going to play out their karma for them when i honestly don't want to and don't feel that there's any reason for me to!

i've considered that maybe i just look at it that way because it's easier to.. it's a lot easier to look at things from a way that i know what to expect or what i'm going to encounter rather than have to deal with emotions and having to feel things and really be on the spot! i don't think i've ever said it but when one says that still waters run deep; i say you'd better bring a lifevest and maybe even a full-sized luxury boat!

i think it's at least a great thing that i can be honest with myself like that looking at these things because because before i became conscious about it, i found that there were two relationships that proved to deal with that stupid 'parent-dynamic' theme.

there were two relationships that mirrored so much of what one of my biological's had gone through to the point that i was just so puzzled i started asking questions once i was so emotionally spent by the whole thing to try to figure out if there was some kind of pattern playing out..

my biological mother is a sun in pisces with venus and mercury both in pisces; for as long as we probably kept a speaking relationship, i think i've lost count of the many, many, many times that they've gone on a tangent about a boyfriend that she had soooooo long ago that she can't let go of and til this day, i think regrets not having slept with him again one night once she got a new boyfriend once they were finally over and done with..

she thinks very fondly of him and squealed and sighed every single time! and i just scratched my head thinking: 'it's been about 30 f*cking years!!!!!!!

i have this innate thing where i am almost petrified of not taking an opportunity or looking back at something later on in life and regret not having done 'something'.. because of it, i sometimes think i have a knee-jerk thing that has me doing anything!

some people are afraid of monsters, others are afraid of darkness.. me? it's been almost a paralyzing fear of looking back on life the way that they have and regretting not having sucked ALL the juice out of the fruit and maybe even some of the skin off of it til i sucked a hole in the casing and then sucked the air that came through it, til there was absolutely no more!

affairs? they're not affairs to me.. or at least, they haven't been.. they've been an all consuming type of thing where it's left me feeling as if i did not have them, right then and there and we did not have that experience and reveled and every flippin' second that there is; felt as if my life was being threatened.

so, i do the opposite of all of that stupid longing i saw so much of and try to do EVERYTHING (literally, i get annoyed at the fact that i sometimes have to make room to sleep) to not let time pass away..

i look at their lives and time has just passed them by.. i've had expectations and things that i've wanted and still want to achieve in life and it seriously appears to me as if that is a concept that is so bizarre to them!

they're old now!

one of them wanted to play piano when they were younger and til this day, can only play one tune that is not at all unlike 'chopsticks'! --so, as far as instruments, i now play 7.

accepting that some things are not always in my hands has been a VERY hard lesson to try to learn and i've gone through a few of them time and time and again and can safely and surely say that i've learned probably a bit more than i've needed to and that i'm at a place where i'm comfortable and kind of done with some of them and can move on with myself; i'm not working against it now, i'm working with it.

so i want to get to the bottom of this.

because i don't want to run into relationships that i project that 'life is short' sh*t that i've been so frantic about onto other people and have them think it's because i'm 'desperate' because i'm not..

i want to experience a happiness that grants me a life of feeling fulfilled;

and i want to do that by letting go of a bunch of old sh*t and in particular the old sh*t that isn't even mine to begin with!

posted November 18, 2011 10:30 PM            

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Originally posted by DepTaurus:
I am not comfortable discussing that on here, but just know that is who i am and what i want and like. As for the parents thing i did`nt want to discuss it much although alot of my views due come from them i just don`t like discussing them in general. At least on here.

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