posted November 19, 2011 01:39 PM            

Optimally, I'd like someone who is fun, someone I can run around with but won't ask for me to be held down. I do not want to hold hands. Unless maybe we're alone.

Uh, I want the person to be MINE. But I don't want to be THEIRS. Unless I'm really into the person, then I'll be everything and anything they want!

Commitment scares me. I'll commit but I won't admit it or talk about it or whatever. It makes me feel trapped and scared and suffocating and like I'm missing opportunities and becoming limited.

I'm afraid of getting attached, I guess. I suppose I "need" someone to remove that fear...

posted November 20, 2011 03:45 AM            

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Originally posted by Taineberry:
Ok this is my two cents worth and I suspect its not going to go down too well!

IMHO relationships have got more to do with becoming whole and complete in yourself whilst accepting the freedom of another to be themselves, than what they have to do with finding an ideal mate who holds onto you forever while confirming how wonderful you are.

Yes, that's right- compelling chemistry is most likely to cause a relationship to strike up between you and Mr/Ms INCOMPATIBLE.

Why? Well, we are meant to Develop and Grow in life, so we are energetically attracted to those people who own the qualities we think we lack or do not wish to acknowledge. Our relationships do not exist to make us feel good all the time -their purpose is an often difficult and painful means of discovering where we need to stop projecting our expectations onto others and start being complete in ourselves so we embody love and don't look for it outside of ourselves any more.

Relationships hold up a mirror to show us where we are projecting our expectations - they enable us to experience what we think is "NOT ME" but is actually "ME NOT OWNED" .. once understood, this facilitates the re-integration of the shadow self we project onto others. When (and if) we eventually get this right, ALL expectations and obligations in a relationship fall away - the other person does not owe you anything and you don't owe them. You are together because you want to be right now. There is no possession. This is a scary thing for most people (including me)as you have no "hold" over them, they can walk away tomorrow. Will you be whole enough to cope?

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posted November 20, 2011 06:23 AM            

What I want from a relationship is mutual respect, understanding. The ability to really let loose, have an out of this world connection, ESP mental connection. I can not date guys that are sloppy, unkempt and lack a brain. Sophistication is what I look for. I also can't stand boring guys...I like opinionated guys. Someone passive isn't my cup of tea. If you have beliefs and you're not afraid to go after and defend things you believe in strongly.. That's so attractive. A gorgeous face does not get my attention-someone's personality and brain does. But having three of my main planets in libra + a juno in libra and vertex and a bunch of other asteriods... I do like the typical sort of 'well presented, well mannered, creative' sort of guy.

Moon conjunct venus makes me really empathetic, affectionate and loving.. I want the guy to be the same way. Can't stand clinginess and somebody who is needy, I like space in relationships. The juno sextile jupiter makes me NEED somebody optimistic, happy go lucky...Going places.

The juno square uranus makes me want somebody 'non cookie cutter.' Ie, I crave for a guy that's deeper and isn't just superficial and trite. I want somebody dynamic and interesting. Spontaneous. So I would appreciate a relationship that is emotionally fulfilling, very mentally connected and relaxing. Passion is good, intensity is great, but somebody that's too plutonian would be a turn off.

posted November 20, 2011 08:06 AM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
She should write a book on this topic. Taineberry if you write a book on this let me know I think I would buy it and If you know of a book on this topic let me know as I would want to read it.

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Thanks Amelia, I am so glad you understand.

The mystery of which I spoke is present in many guises in the work of many masters. The aspect of intimate relationships is just one context through which a greater truth moves - and it something that I feel drawn to understand more. Most of what I am learning comes through fragments synthesized from the work greater minds. I write a lot, so hopefully one day the total concept will be cohesive enough for a book on the subject. !!