posted January 07, 2012 02:07 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
LOL!

HEYY i'm just a day older than u!

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I'm so curious... are you going through the same mess I'm going through in the love department.... or is your love life better??????

I hope your love life is good and not messed up like mine! I wouldn't want you to be going through the same pain and frustration that I'm going through!

posted January 07, 2012 02:17 PM            

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Originally posted by KeirraW:
Perhaps you are looking in all the wrong places? Have you tried various Church groups, or social clubs that interest you that are in your neighbourhood, eg Bonsai Club, or Reading club. Join hobby classes, or dance studio's. You may meet a friend who has a cool brother, or meet a guy at these places. Smile and be friendly, but watch out for creeps who misread the friendliness.

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Thanks.... I'm going to consider joining some groups and clubs!

quote:

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Originally posted by KeirraW:
A friend once told me that when we actively seek a relationship, it's like we let off a smell and everyone runs away! Confidence is a great quality to attract friends and hopefully a trustworthy mate!

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Wow you opened up my eyes! Thanks. It's just so hard when you want someone to share your life with ... you know?

posted January 07, 2012 02:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by sand:
[b] LOL!

HEYY i'm just a day older than u!

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I'm so curious... are you going through the same mess I'm going through in the love department.... or is your love life better??????

I hope your love life is good and not messed up like mine! I wouldn't want you to be going through the same pain and frustration that I'm going through!

[/B][/QUOTE]

posted January 07, 2012 02:26 PM            

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
Agreed!

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Have to politely disagree with this. I too am Christian, but it's mentioned in the Bible that it is fine (in some passages, it's said to be even better) not to marry. There are passages blessing eunuchs and Paul is very anti-marriage, seeing marriage as something that people only should do if they don't have the self-control to be single--"better to marry than to burn". Jesus himself never married and Jesus was, well, Jesus.

So, just have to point out that the "faith" doesn't just have one opinion on this and that views vary. In my denomination, as well as others, it is acceptable to be unmarried (as long as you're celibate).

I'd also argue that "it is not good to be alone" doesn't mean that all people have to run out and get married. "Alone", to me, doesn't mean necessarily "unmarried". You can be married and very lonely and you can be unmarried and very happy. Marriage itself doesn't create happiness. For happiness to occur, both people have to work at it. Marriage is an ongoing process rather than a solution to loneliness problems.

Not trying to talk people out of marriage who want it or anything; am just pointing out that one can be a good Christian/person of faith without being married.

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@ IamLoved:
I don't say this to be mean or anything, and I genuinely don't wish to be rude, but could men out there be intuitively picking up that you really want a relationship? Could you unintentionally be coming off as desperate or needy, or like you really want a boyfriend just to have one? I worry about this because (a) it will keep a lot of guys away from you and (b) the ones that do come could have bad intentions--like wanting to harm you or take advantage of you. How you think and feel inside can often come out, even if you act differently on the surface--something that I've learned from talking to others as well as from my own life experience.

I wonder if changing your perspective could possibly help to stop people from picking up on this kind of energy. Even if you can't change being unmarried right now, I would say that you could possibly change how you view it, and that this might help you to give off better energy to other people, including prospective partners.

I notice that you mention having really low standards, which also worries me a little. I don't feel that women should be little "princesses" who are demanding and spoiled, but, at the same time, it's really important to know what you want in a partner so that you can know if a person is truly right for you.

Lastly, I don't think that Mert was trying to be cruel. I think that he was just trying to be honest and not just make any kind of promise that he couldn't keep (though I don't want to speak for anyone, so if I'm wrong, Mert, my apologies).

Personally, I would say that it isn't guaranteed that you will meet someone or not. I (as I've said) hope that you will be happy in either case. If it is right and good for you and best for your life, I hope that you will meet the right person when the time is right. However, even if you don't end up married, I still hope that you will be able to find the beauty and joy that life has to offer, and that you will find ways of feeling fulfilled and satisfied with the blessings that do come your way.

posted January 07, 2012 03:32 PM            

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Originally posted by sand:
LOL 5:02 PM. ima scorpio rising so sun and venus in h7. ima dude tho. but my tauri friend born the same year sez she's a hopless romantic in her exact words. can't exactly remember her bday. i dunno if mine is better lol! i still haven't found the one so i'd say were all equal in that regard.

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But you're lucky you're a guy! Guy's are the pursers. Women are the pursued. So here I am waiting to be pursued by the right guy for almost 7 years now! This sucks!

I'm not gonna lie I've been pursed by different guys with the course of the last 7 years, but they were all wrong for me, so I couldn't consider them as anything other then a friend.

posted January 07, 2012 03:39 PM            

Nothing to be worried about

posted January 07, 2012 04:36 PM            

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
Guy's are the pursers. Women are the pursued.

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posted January 07, 2012 04:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
But you're lucky you're a guy! Guy's are the pursers. Women are the pursued. So here I am waiting to be pursued by the right guy for almost 7 years now! This sucks!

I'm not gonna lie I've been pursed by different guys with the course of the last 7 years, but they were all wrong for me, so I couldn't consider them as anything other then a friend.

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so maybe a change in your approach to this could help....

try to find someone you like and connect to
and instead of waiting for the love to come ask him yourself

searching for happiness is much better then waiting for it....atleast in my opinion

posted January 08, 2012 06:21 AM            

I'm horrifyingly spooked, literally. Mayb u meant it differently...

posted January 08, 2012 06:25 AM            

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
@RegardesPlatero

Nothing to be worried about

I know I have low standards meaning that I don't need a lot superficial things to start and maintain a relationship. I even listed the things I'm looking for, so it's clear to me that I do know what I'm looking for.

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I wasn't trying to insult or anything. I did see your list. I just have also seen a lot of people get hurt, so I do my best to be really honest about these things (I have a Sagittarius ascendant, for what it's worth). I have seen a lot of people compromise their standards for men (and even women)--not saying that you would, just that I hate to see people go through that so I do try to, as I said, be honest without being too judgmental. Not saying that I succeed 100% of the time, and I may not have succeeded this time, but I do try.

posted January 08, 2012 06:30 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Ideally. Doesn't always work that way.

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I personally don't pursue men myself, but I agree that it doesn't always work that way.

I don't think that women should just have to sit at home, batting their eyelashes, waiting by the phone. With some men, if women just sat around waiting, NOTHING would happen!

I think that it's totally fine for a girl to go out and pursue a guy and to be the one to take the first step if she wants to make something happen. Granted, it is traditionally the guy who does that, but it is 2012, not 1912.

posted January 08, 2012 10:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
But you're lucky you're a guy! Guy's are the pursers. Women are the pursued. So here I am waiting to be pursued by the right guy for almost 7 years now! This sucks!

I'm not gonna lie I've been pursed by different guys with the course of the last 7 years, but they were all wrong for me, so I couldn't consider them as anything other then a friend.

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Thats how the sexist view of how relationships develop is seen. Why can't women pursue? It is also far more likely that women initiate any sort of relationship. The majority of men will approach a woman who is friendly to them thus women make the first step in forming a relationship by selecting people they like. Plus if you like a guy or haven't had much luck in 7 years... maybe its time to try something different.

Oh also good luck finding a guy who wants to be with you and doesn't want to, 'get in your pants'. It is hard wired into men and I'm pretty sure if you met a guy who literally had no interest in 'getting into your pants' you would quickly lose interest in the relationship. Not saying it should be the sole focus or exclusion of the relationship but it adds sexual tension and interest in each other.

Is there anything you are doing maybe subconciously that puts men off you, maybe a vibe or air you give that you are either self sufficient and not really looking for a relationship or that you are 'too needy'? I don't know you i'm just asking out of curiosity. I know I give off an air of being fine by myself which kind of confuses potential relationship material I meet.

posted January 08, 2012 10:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
But you're lucky you're a guy! Guy's are the pursers. Women are the pursued. So here I am waiting to be pursued by the right guy for almost 7 years now! This sucks!

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posted January 08, 2012 10:21 PM            

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
I dun agree that men pursue n women wait to b pursued. That's just so wrong in my view... like women are waiting to be "chosen" by men?!? Sorry babe... not my style..

I'm horrifyingly spooked, literally. Mayb u meant it differently...

Mayb someone can offer better solutions...

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