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Author
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Topic: Question about Pluto and extreme need to control others
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lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 10:28 AM
  
In the summer time my friend gave me her birth information she wanted us to look at her birth chart, and it kind of explained a lot. I wanted to know why she was VERY controlling. Personally I never met any female so intimidating/masculine in my life. She admits she's very controlling etc. She will not get involved in a relationship if she cannot control the person she is with. She must have complete control of him, 100% must control his behavior, his actions every single thing. She is a possessive lover to the extreme, the last guy she was with dumped her and she wasn't okay with that because she never said it was over *lol* so her words... "I made him stay with me. It wasn't over. It's over when I say it is. I control him he doesn't control anything." Ok tbh I thought she was a bit loony but it intrigued me (I love weirdos) I never met anything like it before! They went out for 5 months I think and the only way for him to break free was for him to literally leave the city. Right now she's getting involved with someone. I asked her about her love style because I truly did NOT understand it.. controlling someone 100%, she explained to me, "if I'm with someone I must control him. everything about him. He doesn't have freedom, that's not how it works." I asked if that style came from insecurity because I just didn't understand how taking someone's freedom away was healthy, she says that "that's just my style. I'm a very possessive person. he does what I say, does what I do, he's not allowed to have any friends I don't like either I control him completely." I thought this was only in romantic relationships but the more I got involved with her on a friend level, she was also becoming controlling with me to, I had to tell her where I was at all times. We got into several verbal arguements. If I can remember she has a lot of Aries placements.. I'll post her chart in a sec. She had a Scorpio rising, that's a fact and I believe mars either in Aries or Leo, I'll post the chart in a sec.
Has anyone experienced this from a Pluto influenced person? Their need to have complete control over someone? Is that healthy at all? Or psychotic because that's what I genuinely thought she was in the beginning no offense. Who doesn't allow their partner to have free will??!
edited That's her chart. She has Scorpio rising. She's probably the only person I know that is severely controlling, has to have complete control over friends and especially someone she's in a relationship with. we have got into a lot of entertaining arguments over this, her extreme controlling and posessiveness, I've come to understand it's her way of loving - consuming the person lmao - I've never met anybody so intense... very combative, she's a cool chick though. IP: Logged |
Illusion21
Newflake Posts: 20
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 10:40 AM
Ahh Pluto square Venus and Mars in Leo IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 2635
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2011 10:41 AM
Hello Illusion21! Welcome to LL 
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juniperb
Moderator Posts: 5117
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2011 10:52 AM
Alanna is yet a child; a minor in many states. Are you certain you wish to post her private info with out her patents permission ? ------------------
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi~ IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 2635
From: nevada
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2011 10:55 AM
Exellent point Ms Juni  IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 12:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Illusion21:
Ahh Pluto square Venus and Mars in Leo
I've only familiarized myself with Pluto/Venus contacts in synastry, never came across them in a natal chart.
Does it have equal impact? Especially because Pluto is her ascendant.. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 12:15 PM
Alanna doesn't reside in the USA, sorry to burst your bubble. I'm not going to respond to anything that doesn't pertain the questions I'm asking, she knows all of this since this irrelevancy matters to you so much more than sticking to the topic. Just laying that out there right now. Im only responding to people that can answer the question(s) I've asked. Thanks! IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 5117
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2011 12:54 PM
Your disrespect to Alanna, yourself, Lindaland and Lalalinda is uncalled for. Perhaps you require a different playground where you don`t have to get along with your brothers and sisters while here it is a rule of conduct?!! PLEASE NOTE: quote:
I am amending the sign-up Agreement for newbies, but for those already here, these are how we shall govern Lindaland from here on out (so no one can say they didn't know). Simply put, avoid personal insults. Talk ideas, topics, and concepts, but don't address someone negatively in a personal fashion. If you do, a Mod of that Forum (or another Forum) may give a gentle reminder. After a reminder is ignored, an official warning will be issued by myself or a Mod. If you ignore a warning, then the next step will be dismissal. For 99.99 percent of you, this will not have any affect whatsoever. Continue enjoying and sharing as always. If you have a grievance with someone, e-mail me privately, and allow me to handle it. If a topic makes you angry, take a breather before posting or perhaps ignore it. I am posting the new Agreement in the next post below.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum25/HTML/002442.html
Consider this a "gentle reminder" ") juni
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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi~
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Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted December 27, 2011 01:53 PM
She probably acted that way because she didn't really love whoever. Pluto's about evolution, which has its basis in survival. When fear (which can't be felt simultaneously with love) is triggered, it goes into threat assessment/controlling mode - whatever is required to stay alive.IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 01:55 PM
What does that signify for A Plutonian person?To consume someone entirely = love
freedom of that person = a threat Maybe, what we were instilled at throughout these years isn't entirely true? I was taught, that not allowing someone freedom, restricting freedom, wanting to possess someone, and control them entirely was not a source of love but insecurity. Maybe throughout the years there is much more to this? Maybe confining someone, restricting them, the, "you're mine and only mine, I have to control you" is another form of love? I read in one of my astrology books, a huge chapter on Scorpio and this behavior of theirs.. They have to consume their lover, It's not love if they don't. I was always fascinated by that because compared to other signs, scorpio seems to breathe this. It made me think maybe love sometimes means control? I don't know! But it was something I was taught to believe was wrong so when I meet anyone that wishes to consume someone etc, especially this girl I'm speaking about and she's so confident about it she's self aware and accepts Thats her style of loving. It terrified me, made me worry but at the same time I was impressed and intrigued. I never met anyone like this, I do think it's not insecurity I don't get that sense from her at all like I do with other controlling people.. IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 02:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by juniperb:
Your disrespect to Alanna, yourself, Lindaland and Lalalinda is uncalled for. Perhaps you require a different playground where you don`t have to get along with your brothers and sisters while here it is a rule of conduct?!! PLEASE NOTE: [QUOTE]I am amending the sign-up Agreement for newbies, but for those already here, these are how we shall govern Lindaland from here on out (so no one can say they didn't know). Simply put, avoid personal insults. Talk ideas, topics, and concepts, but don't address someone negatively in a personal fashion. If you do, a Mod of that Forum (or another Forum) may give a gentle reminder. After a reminder is ignored, an official warning will be issued by myself or a Mod. If you ignore a warning, then the next step will be dismissal. For 99.99 percent of you, this will not have any affect whatsoever. Continue enjoying and sharing as always. If you have a grievance with someone, e-mail me privately, and allow me to handle it. If a topic makes you angry, take a breather before posting or perhaps ignore it. I am posting the new Agreement in the next post below.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum25/HTML/002442.html
Consider this a "gentle reminder" ") juni[/QUOTE]
I'm not being "disrespectful". Go back and re-read what I wrote. You're being way too hypersensitive. You think I would go and post someone's chart without permission if they are not adults? Don't underestimate me. I said she knows. We looked at this, her chart, online awhile back. I'm posting it here to understand the Pluto behavior. I'm not going to allow you or anyone to make ridiculous presumptions. Call me disrespectful, all you'd like. I'm not going to repeat myself after this, She knows! Before you go making interesting claims you should at least make sure you know what you're talking about, there's a reason why I posted what I did, maybe you let your emotions allow you to overlook the important sentences I typed out indicating that she knows. I may come off as disrespectful thats not my intent. You should actually read the information I type, not for my benefit but for your own. Because I post it to avoid situations like this - it obviously didnt work lol IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted December 27, 2011 02:00 PM
It's possible for a Plutonian to go into a more Neptunian mode of love (agape). Love is universal and "is patient, kind, does not keep a record of wrongs...". It's only when Pluto is threatened that it goes into survival mode; otherwise it is dormant, storing up energy.IP: Logged |
ElizabethO
Knowflake Posts: 471
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 02:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
I'm not being "disrespectful". Go back and re-read what I wrote. You're being way too hypersensitive. You think I would go and post someone's chart without permission if they are not adults? Don't underestimate me. I said she knows. We looked at this, her chart, online awhile back. I'm posting it here to understand the Pluto behavior. I'm not going to allow you or anyone to make ridiculous presumptions. Call me disrespectful, all you'd like. I'm not going to repeat myself after this, She knows!
LOL. *rolls eyes* You're one of the most disrespectful users on this site. You're almost as bad as Belligerent Pygmy but not nearly as bright. Don't worry Juni. Trolls always crawl back into the hole they came from.  IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 02:09 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capriquarius:
It's possible for a Plutonian to go into a more Neptunian mode of love (agape). Love is universal and "is patient, kind, does not keep a record of wrongs...". It's only when Pluto is threatened that it goes into survival mode; otherwise it is dormant, storing up energy.
Maybe there is another side of love that we were taught as being wrong and insufficient? I'm just going off of what I read in my astrology book. Of course I take into account how the author could be a little subjective... if love is patient, accepting, allowing freedom etc why then is this trait associated with Scorpio? I'm going to use a quote from the book. Which makes me think maybe there is a lot more to love maybe there is more than one kind or type of loving? IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted December 27, 2011 02:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Maybe there is another side of love that we were taught as being wrong and insufficient?I'm just going off of what I read in my astrology book. Of course I take into account how the author could be a little subjective... if love is patient, accepting, allowing freedom etc why then is this trait associated with Scorpio? I'm going to use a quote from the book. Which makes me think maybe there is a lot more to love maybe there is more than one kind or type of loving?
Love actually isn't associated with Scorpio. Venus is actually in its detriment in Scorpio.There are different types of love but agape (Neptunian or Venus exalted in Pisces) is the love described in that quote from the OT.
IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 5117
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 27, 2011 02:21 PM
lindisfarne,my post stands as a "gentle reminder". It is up to you where it goes from here. juni quote:
I am amending the sign-up Agreement for newbies, but for those already here, these are how we shall govern Lindaland from here on out (so no one can say they didn't know). Simply put, avoid personal insults. Talk ideas, topics, and concepts, but don't address someone negatively in a personal fashion. If you do, a Mod of that Forum (or another Forum) may give a gentle reminder. After a reminder is ignored, an official warning will be issued by myself or a Mod. If you ignore a warning, then the next step will be dismissal. For 99.99 percent of you, this will not have any affect whatsoever. Continue enjoying and sharing as always. If you have a grievance with someone, e-mail me privately, and allow me to handle it. If a topic makes you angry, take a breather before posting or perhaps ignore it. I am posting the new Agreement in the next post below.
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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~Rumi~ IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 02:23 PM
Here's a quote/text from the book,
Edited: You must post a link and give due credit to the author before you copy their work.
IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted December 27, 2011 02:32 PM
Without assigning value judgments to it, jealousy exists for the survival of the species. Unevolved, yes... Because Pluto doesn't care what it takes to stay alive. It must stay alive to propogate and in doing so evolution is inevitable - by discarding what is unnecessary and holding onto the essence.Here is a book with a more evolutionary perspective:
http://www.amazon.com/Dangerous-Passion-David-M-Buss/dp/1451673132/ ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325014048&sr=8-1 We're here because our ancestors were jealous and possessive enough to keep away competition. In our current stage of evolution though, maybe we're ready to move on to a more elevated form of relationship preservation: trust. Ttyl8r! IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 02:44 PM
mom has venus opposition pluto and she is controlling especially before, she has improved in this area, but my dad has this too and he is not.....I think this is bc she represses her pluto energy and projects it unto others by trying to control them. She is not controllling to the extreme of your friend but she does have aqua in venus! so that helps.IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 02:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ElizabethO:
LOL. *rolls eyes* You're one of the most disrespectful users on this site. You're almost as bad as Belligerent Pygmy but not nearly as bright.Don't worry Juni. Trolls always crawl back into the hole they came from.
Hypocrisy is alive and well.
IP: Logged |
lindisfarne
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: she doesn't know that i left my urge in the icebox
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 02:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
mom has venus opposition pluto and she is controlling especially before, she has improved in this area, but my dad has this too and he is not.....I think this is bc she represses her pluto energy and projects it unto others by trying to control them. She is not controllling to the extreme of your friend but she does have aqua in venus! so that helps.
Aqua can be controlling, I don't think physically more in a mental way IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 03:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by juniperb:
Alanna is yet a child; a minor in many states. Are you certain you wish to post her private info with out her patents permission ?
Would posting a chart without including any names or birthdate information be exposing private information?? that isn't traceable so I would think is not bridging privacy but maybe I am overlooking something.I am just asking bc I have been careful about only showing the chart and cutting off the part with birthdate information in it. I want to make sure I am not messing up!  I Haven't posted any charts of minors though but if person is not a minor and I make sure not to include their name or birthdate in the chart then I should be good, right?
IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 2423
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 03:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Aqua can be controlling, I don't think physically more in a mental way
What blows my mind is that dad has venus in aqua opposite pluto and he is not controlling but he is a psychologist so perhaps that results in him channeling that uranus/pluto opposition energy for healing and transformation and expanding his intellect in these subjects or perhaps he has more planets helping mediate this energy than she does.
Edit:
Mom tends to repress things more and not want to see things and dad doesn't do that, I think that is what makes a huge difference in how the energy from this opposition is utilized. IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
unregistered
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posted December 27, 2011 03:51 PM
May I post my dog's natal chart? He is 10 years old but that is a senior by canine standards. I think it should be interesting to see how energies play out for a less conscious entity.  IP: Logged |
ElizabethO
Knowflake Posts: 471
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted December 27, 2011 03:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by lindisfarne:
Hypocrisy is alive and well.
I really don't see how I'm being hypocritical. I'm simply stating the truth. You're the one who dishes it out to everyone but cannot take criticism. Neither am I a troll, which you clearly are.
IP: Logged |
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