Author
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Topic: Love triangle--Need Clarity
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raya_of_light Knowflake Posts: 102 From: Lemuria Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 01:58 AM
@Lonake: No I won't go for someone if it is one-sided. I'm just feel disappointment that what I thought my ideal male is not really so. IP: Logged |
Lonake Moderator Posts: 8748 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2011 02:04 AM
^ Cancer guy has Venus sq Pluto, he's kinda the obsessive type. Obsessive types tend to stick around (haha!) so you have that working in your favor.IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius Knowflake Posts: 4353 From: Surfing Kite. Seriously. Registered: Aug 2010
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posted December 31, 2011 02:05 AM
Cold,unattainable? Because of H7 Moon ruler in H10,conj Saturn? It isn't the only possibility,could be that you are attracted to successful,talented ppl,authority figures,someone devoted by nature...Oh,we completely forgot about Cancer...  IP: Logged |
Lonake Moderator Posts: 8748 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2011 02:11 AM
Raya how dare you lol. You have Venus trine Uranus. You need to read up on that, pronto, and incorporate since it goes against your Sun Taurus/DSC Cancer needs (if it is in Cancer, looks like it could be that or Gemini). Also Mars is sextile Uranus (and Mercury is opposed).Libra has Venus conj Uranus. Cancer has the trine. IP: Logged |
VenusDiSirius Knowflake Posts: 4353 From: Surfing Kite. Seriously. Registered: Aug 2010
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posted December 31, 2011 02:16 AM
Get in touch with you inner Uranus  IP: Logged |
raya_of_light Knowflake Posts: 102 From: Lemuria Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 02:19 AM
@Venus: Yes I'm attracted to successful, authority figure people, but it is how the men treat me..one that I'm attracted to..cold aloof, emotionally distant, they seem successful but have a hard time tuning in to their emotionsCancer guy is quite in tune with his. @Lonake: Yes Cancer guy is quite obsessed with me...highly adores me. He and I are two odd-balls. I understand him. I just worry with his current circumstance that I'm playing the rescuer role again and the attraction to Libra guy throws a kink into my already tumultuous emotion. Venus trine Uranus...I did read it..but maybe I missed something. Please explain. IP: Logged |
Lonake Moderator Posts: 8748 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2011 02:22 AM
^ In short, it's not security-conscious.IP: Logged |
raya_of_light Knowflake Posts: 102 From: Lemuria Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 02:26 AM
My experiences with men are limited. I never had the normal childhood experience of dating...a lot of things were stunted. It makes me really sad when I think about it. Cancer guy seemed to be the only one that sees through everything and sees me. I've been let down a lot and it is hard for me to trust completely. I feel that Cancer will stay for the long haul, but a lot of made promises and have abandoned me at moments I need them most. So tend to not attach myself to people as much. Cancer guy is very insightful too and said that I'm scared because he could see me when a lot of people don't really. He might be right. And I wish I could access my inner Uranus. It does come out at times when I feel people step out of bounds with their behaviors and I get feisty. How do I access my inner Uranus?  IP: Logged |
raya_of_light Knowflake Posts: 102 From: Lemuria Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 02:32 AM
@Lonake: I'm extremely conflicted at times. I want security, but not at the cost of hurting others. I give my shirt off my back type of person. I would quit a job if it no longer serves the ideal I believe in without worries about security. However, when I do that, it makes me anxious, but I still do it. Family members would say that is the case.IP: Logged |
Lonake Moderator Posts: 8748 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2011 02:49 AM
The Cancer guy has Pluto on your Moon. Darn skippy about him seeing through you!Don't worry the fear isn't completely one-sided. Your Sun is on his Chiron. You open up his past wounds. IP: Logged |
raya_of_light Knowflake Posts: 102 From: Lemuria Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 03:01 AM
@Lonake: Yes Cancer guy certainly sees through me. My feeling on Cancer guy--I feel he's trustworthy. I feel that he would never stray or cheat. We have our difficulties, but somehow he's growing. He's learning. He wants to make changes to be a better person. And he adores me. Due to our bad start, the experience kind of imprinted on me and I have trust issue so it is hard for me to see the changes at times. That aspect of myself I need to work on. As for Libra guy, his approach with me in the beginning also imprinted on me so even if there was anything serious, I still will never completely trust him. The chart says great things about him and I, but my experience with him says otherwise. I only have the physical to make comments on and the rest is just conjecture. I think whatever it is--is ruined anyhow with Libra. I feel sad...like it's unbearable to be apart from him, but need to have to for my emotional health. Lonake...do you know much about Vedic astrology? I did a compatibility chart between Cancer guy and I and it seemed to be quite accurate. A few concern areas it mentioned were finding purpose for the relationship and him being pushy to get his way.Everything else seemed to be fine. Mentioned that he and I are on the same wavelength whereas Libra guy not so much. I used the Compatibility_Teller report. Cafeastrology offers the report at a lower price than Vault of the Heaven. I thought it was highly accurate. IP: Logged |
Lonake Moderator Posts: 8748 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2011 03:28 AM
Vedic astrology is something I haven't studied BUT astro.com has a specific forum for Vedic, so that may be a good starting point for you?IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 06:52 AM
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RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 07:09 AM
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Capriquarius unregistered
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posted December 31, 2011 07:59 AM
Taurus and Libra have the same ruler, goddess of love, but each has a different understanding of love. Taurus is more security-oriented.Thanks for appreciating my strong response, raya. I spoke in that way because I wish someone gave me a kick to the head when I was being led on. It's very unhealthy to use astrology to read more into a relationship than there actually is. I agree with Coffee on that note, about using synastry AFTER you decide on someone. As for bad boys - it's actually possible to tame them but it takes a long time. Is he even worth it? It took me years and a lot of heartache to get such a guy to settle down but by then I received so many bruises, emotionally and otherwise, that I'd shut down to him by that point. Here's a great little book I recommend to every girl who has a strong need for security: http://www.amazon.com/List-Ways-Going-Marry-You--/dp/B001GQ3DVU/ref=sr _1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1325336256&sr=8-2 It received great reviews and is affordable. Signed, Someone with Chiron in the 8th
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lalalinda Moderator Posts: 2635 From: nevada Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 31, 2011 08:35 AM
Hello raya_of_light! Welcome to LL 
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YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4053 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 09:37 AM
Speaking as a man, and an older one too... ahem.Based on all I have read, speaking as a man, its time to dump the Libra guy. He can't shoot straight. He can't get his emotions in tune with yours beyond sex. He is uninterested in anything but sex. Most of all he was dishonest upfront to both you and his girlfriend. This is the type of guy that would move on once marriage has occurred and sex has become routine. He would drop you in favor of the next hot thing that comes along, just like he said that he would drop his girlfriend, which I bet he didn't for as long as he could! Marrriage is a hell lot more than sex! There's a ton of chores to do. There are problems to solve, emotional problems to dissolve. You think Libra guy is going to be involved in all that? All he wants is sex. The moment there are issues at home, he's going outside the home to get away from the issues and get better sex. Tell me that your sexual attraction to him would mean crap when there's a pile of laundry on the floor, a dirty diaper to change, a house that needs vacuuming, not enough money at the end of the month, kids that are having problems in school, etc. What? You guys are going to look each other in the eyes with watery sexual expressions? Tell me that he's going to be around to attend to the mundane matters in life. What when you hit menopause and your hormones change and don't desire sex as much? He's going to say, awww... its alright. I guess there'll be other 20-somethings around for that, huh? I'm not saying latch on to the Cancer guy. All I'm saying is that Libra guy is no good, regardless of astrology. I feel like bashing him on his head! Sorry I sound like a father, but I am a father, and I am probably in the age group of your father. The best medicine rarely tastes good. IP: Logged |
Capriquarius unregistered
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posted December 31, 2011 09:43 AM
^ Cappy the straight shooterIP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 10:29 AM
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YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4053 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 10:41 AM
It's not about Sun signs. Jackasses transcend astrology and I'll crap on anyone worthy of it, Capricorns first and foremost. IP: Logged |
Capriquarius unregistered
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posted December 31, 2011 10:52 AM
Cr@pricorns? Ha haIP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways Knowflake Posts: 4053 From: Registered: Oct 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 10:55 AM
quote: Originally posted by Capriquarius: Cr@pricorns? Ha ha
LOL.  IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 11:00 AM
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raya_of_light Knowflake Posts: 102 From: Lemuria Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 11:42 AM
quote: Originally posted by RegardesPlatero: *In reading the prior posts, it seems like you are physically attracted to the Libra, but emotionally attracted to the Cancer.The Cancer guy honestly seems like something special, but the Libra guy strikes me as a player who is unreliable and untrustworthy, at least at this point in life. It's clear to me that you know this and see this at work here. I think that what it comes down to is finding a way to balance what you want physically and what you need emotionally, as these seem to be at odds. Or, alternately, finding someone who has what you want on both sides (though this is very difficult). I notice that you have an Aries Venus and Mars in Libra. This to me would explain why you're at odds when it comes to what you want emotionally vs. what you want physically. Aries and Libra are opposite signs--very different needs. And, too, it explains why you're drawn to the Libra guy on a physical level. Mars in Libra would be drawn to someone with Libra traits. In your case, I think that this particular Libra has the negative 'player' type of personality (which is one of the shadow versions of Libra). In a healthier version, one might be drawn to fairness, someone who has a pleasant overall appearance and demeanor, refinement, manners, etc. However, the darker version of a Libra would be someone who is manipulative, dishonest, flatters but doesn't mean it (as opposed to a healthier Libra who would give sincere compliments just to make others feel special--and would mean them), loves beauty to the point of being a skirt-chaser/womanizer (or the female equivalent, if a female) or else of being really shallow and superficial, etc. And, of course, I could see how a person might even be drawn to both the good and the bad side of their Mars/how a person might go back and forth. So, perhaps your Mars in Libra is also at work here, in addition to what others have said.
@Regardes: What you said here is very constructive and I appreciate it very much so. I think you very right on what you said, because Libra guy here is using his darker aspect to charm me. He has nothing to show. I'm really angry that I could see both light and dark qualities in him and allowed myself to be seduce by him. I couldn't understand why I allow this guy to get under my skin when I had other players in my life I kicked to the curb immediately. I never believe I can change anyone at least this dude. He has so many qualities similar to my first love (the good qualities and he only flatters when he means it) and because he and I forcibly got separated (he's a Saggitarius guy, an engineering student, very absent-minded, forgot paperwork from school advisor when he left to go back to his home country Pakistan, came to US without his paperwork, and got deported because of that even with the pleading of his advisor from school due to the Pakistan US tension going on at the time, moved to London to go go to school, tried to convince me to come with him, had an arranged marriage with his 1st cousin which he didn't want to, but wanting to please his mother that he loves, did it anyhow) I still have a hard time reconciling what happened. He tried to search for me and told me to move on. Every man I met I compare them to him. He was exciting, always kept me on my toes and truly infatuated with me. He's also physically very pleasing to look at too. After him, I dated guys not on par physically with what I want I they turn out to be a**holes also. So currently right now, I tell myself to go with the guys who are good-looking then one that are fugly a**holes. Even if I see only surface beauty at least I get it then not at all. Cancer guy is not the conventional good-looking guy. He's a meat and potato guy and I'm attracted to the worldly type--the well traveled type. He's said by being with me, he's learning a lot and to be more open-minded. What makes me feel bad is that I'm changing him to fit the mold of what I want and he said he was okay with it. If I'm in a relationship where I feel I'm changing someone to be what I want or vice versa, I drop the relationship like a hot potato. I really appreciate your assessment on the Venus Aires and Mars Libra aspects because I think that the aspects are what is playing into my attraction for Libra guy.  IP: Logged |
raya_of_light Knowflake Posts: 102 From: Lemuria Registered: Dec 2011
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posted December 31, 2011 11:43 AM
quote: Originally posted by Lonake: Vedic astrology is something I haven't studied BUT astro.com has a specific forum for Vedic, so that may be a good starting point for you?
Thanks Lonake I will go check it out. Really appreciate your responses. IP: Logged |