posted January 04, 2012 07:46 AM            

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Originally posted by Xiiro:

A word of caution: Venus in Scorpio is awesome once you have earned it's trust, but takes a lot of patience. All the Venus in Scorpios I know (me included) have a relationship with sex which many people may consider quite broken. The truth is (especially if Neptune is involved) we are already very emotionally linked with people before connecting with them physically. Sex with people can feel as if we are experiencing being that person and can lead to absorbing our partners issues. If the connection isn't deep, we can walk away from a sexual experience feeling overwhelmed with feelings which don't even belong to us. It can be especially confusing to people who are not spiritual or do not understand what is going on. This Venus can experience sex as more of a thing to endure than an actual enjoyment. If his Mars is in Leo, I suggest petting him and showering him with complements. His Mars has a playful side regardless of what his head has decided.

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posted January 04, 2012 07:50 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Speaking as a male, are you sure that there are no psychological/emotional issues or physiological/dysfunctional issues? Not all men are able to perform, and dysfunction is more common than you ladies think. There are multiple effective methods of dealing with dysfunction, but identification of the issue is key. It's also a function of the female companion's emotional support. He's no less of a man if he can't perform, just in the same way a smaller than average Thomas doesn't make him less of a lover. Perhaps he needs less pressure and more of a break?

It has nothing to do with being physically fit or diet. I personally know a Special Forces Airborne Ranger Commando who is impotent at 25 years old. Forget about not staying up. It's not responding, period.

I can assure you that you would want a man like that rather than a man like me. Unless you want women galore in the guy's past sharing your bed. Do you want a man with three historical partners or one that has over a hundred/thousand? Just ask yourself that.

I was outright raped when young. Forced into intercourse at knifepoint at 10 years old. It was psychologically scarring for sure. But I struggled and got over the episode.

Lilithpluto, please don't be depressed, sweetheart. You don't even know whether any of this even applies to him. Just show him love and I'm sure he'll show you lots of love.

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posted January 04, 2012 08:41 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Lilithpluto, please don't be depressed, sweetheart. You don't even know whether any of this even applies to him. Just show him love and I'm sure he'll show you lots of love.

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Arrr Ian! Your sweet as always... Thanx for sharing your story... Now I understood what the Zi-Mao "punishment" in your chart meant - sexual harassment... but I'm glad you have gotten over it.. Peach Blossom.. case of too much of a good thing.

I like sex but only with him... but he doesn't know that... He prob thinks I'm just sex-craze. Yeah, I super sexual... (Mars-lilith-pluto conjunction in libra with Lust conjunct Uranus in scopio ) but that's not the why... He is the why!! He doesn't know me... its sad sometimes. Anyway, need to move on fast..

posted January 04, 2012 09:24 AM            

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
Arrr Ian! Your sweet as always... Thanx for sharing your story... Now I understood what the Zi-Mao "punishment" in your chart meant - sexual harassment... but I'm glad you have gotten over it.. Peach Blossom.. case of too much of a good thing.

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posted January 04, 2012 11:02 AM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
You and I need to discuss for me to find out more about what you know about me and are still not revealing

yourstruly@writeme.com

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posted January 04, 2012 11:14 AM            

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Originally posted by love being Aries:
as unreal as it may sound, he has stellium in Libra and Venus in Scorpio and he is my first man in 23.8 years who is not "attracted" to the idea of sex. I can't say I have met a lot of men, but I sure haven't met one who doesn't Like Sex!
he is physically fit, he has a kid with a woman he was married to. Before that, he had been in a long-term relationship with a woman he was sleeping with, but was not married to. that makes a total of two sleeping partners in 30 years.

he says he likes making out and foreplay, he can go on long enough, but he's just not a sex-person. in his words "if it happens, its ok, but if you ask if I WANT it, then NO". is it poor placement of Venus with hard aspects?

Sun 3 Libra
Saturn 11 Libra
Jupiter 16 Libra
Pluto 23 Libra
Mercury 29 Libra

Venus 15 Scorpio
Uranus 27 Scorpio
Neptune 22 Sagittarius
Mars 15 Leo

Aspects:
Sun conjunct Saturn
Sun sextile Uranus
Mercury Conjunct Pluto
Venus Square Mars & opposite Chiron
Mars sextile Saturn and Jupiter & Trine Neptune Sextile Pluto

P.S sorry guys no houses, unknown TOB

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My husband is similar except when he does initiate sex he spends very little time making out. He has an empty, 7th,8th,9th,10th,11th, and 12th house. He does have sun, mercury and pluto in the 5th! before we got serious he did initiate sex a lot and after the relationship got serious only once in a while. 5th house is sex for pleasure and sex that does not involve bonding.

Husband is a libra with saturn in libra, with mars, pluto, mercury in scorpio! venus in leo, and moon in cancer and gemini rising.

posted January 04, 2012 12:13 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Speaking as a male, are you sure that there are no psychological/emotional issues or physiological/dysfunctional issues? Not all men are able to perform, and dysfunction is more common than you ladies think. There are multiple effective methods of dealing with dysfunction, but identification of the issue is key. It's also a function of the female companion's emotional support. He's no less of a man if he can't perform, just in the same way a smaller than average Thomas doesn't make him less of a lover. Perhaps he needs less pressure and more of a break?

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Agree on all points *solemn nod*

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It has nothing to do with being physically fit or diet. I personally know a Special Forces Airborne Ranger Commando who is impotent at 25 years old. Forget about not staying up. It's not responding, period.

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This doesn't even need explaining. The things the Special Forces see, the things they endure, the things they have to do in a war zone...that is too much emotional trauma

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I can assure you that you would want a man like that rather than a man like me. Unless you want women galore in the guy's past sharing your bed. Do you want a man with three historical partners or one that has over a hundred/thousand? Just ask yourself that.

I was outright raped when young. Forced into intercourse at knifepoint at 10 years old. It was psychologically scarring for sure. But I struggled and got over the episode.

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I'm not the most agreeable person on board but I find your post to be accurate on all counts. I place a high value on myself and my body and have a good amount of self-respect and I expect the same from my partner. I would rather be single and happy than be alone in a relationship because my values differ from my partner's. I can compromise at various pints but my intrinsic values are where I draw battle lines.

I find it very inspiring that you were able to resolve such a traumatic experience from your past that I can't even begin to fathom and are happy and successful today. It would've been such an uphill battle and to know that you are over it makes me feel better somehow, gives me hope to make something out of my own life

posted January 04, 2012 12:19 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
I'd be very interested in knowing astrological markers for malleable sexual orientation.

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I personally feel sexuality is fluid as opposed to falling into nice little boxes with tags on them but some astrologers consider Gemini, the mutable twins to be a factor in bisexuality.

posted January 04, 2012 12:20 PM            

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Originally posted by love being Aries:
it doesn't make sense for first two possibilities. why would he say no to sex while he has a terrible, full of compromises and troubles life, he is having a high time with a naive and loving girl who is 8yrs younger than him and is totally in love with him. why would he say no to sex

but the later bit, about past hurt, i have seriously considered that!

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posted January 04, 2012 12:21 PM            

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Originally posted by love being Aries:
He is very DEEP. he is not just a playful libra, he is extremely deep when it comes to relationships. It can be his Pluto in Libra too. but he sure is deeply intense, specially about feeling connected at a very deep level and then being physical.

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See my point about Venus in Scorpio and MERGING vs. just having sex.

posted January 04, 2012 12:31 PM              

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Originally posted by Frozen Queen:
I personally feel sexuality is fluid as opposed to falling into nice little boxes with tags on them but some astrologers consider Gemini, the mutable twins to be a factor in bisexuality.

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What astrological markers might point to the fluctuating tendency?

posted January 04, 2012 12:34 PM            

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:

Sure, I can write to you now.

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Lilith

posted January 04, 2012 01:15 PM            

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Originally posted by Capriquarius:
^ word. Can you say Brokeback Mountain 2 in the making?

I'd be very interested in knowing astrological markers for malleable sexual orientation.

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LOL hahahahaha

I would be interested too just bc is an interesting subject.

posted January 04, 2012 01:36 PM            

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
So, its been a while, just ease him into it. Think of it as though he's a virgin. It takes time to get re-acclimatized and become comfortable with sexuality once again.

In the whole scheme of things, is it that big a deal?

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posted January 04, 2012 01:38 PM            

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
@ LoveBeingAries: No worries, not intrusive

Here is my answer to what I mean by consequences:

*spiritually/emotionally: (a) I would not feel right about sex before marriage and (b) emotionally, I feel that sex would likely be a deeply disturbing experience for me on emotional levels, especially given my anxiety about it and also given that I have been violated before. I never want to be touched that way ever again and it would be VERY upsetting for me. I made a promise to myself after I was both assaulted and harassed to NEVER let myself be violated ever again and to do whatever I could/whatever I had to do to prevent that. On top of that, I had very little emotional support when I was harassed, and less support still when I was assaulted. My therapist probably saved my life, honestly. NEVER AGAIN.

*STDS

*an accident; even though I wouldn't have it, I still want to avoid this because of all of the hassle and emotional issues and hoops that you have to jump through

*being used

*constant anxiety: I could never relax, given all of the things that could go horribly wrong. I can't live like that.

*non-hormonal IUDs are extremely difficult and rare to get in the US for women who have never had kids and who don't want them ever; sterilization is also extremely difficult to get if you have never had children and don't want one; hormonal birth control would not be a good option for me given that family have had heart health issues and hormonal birth control causes weight gain, can cause blood clots, can cause stroke, can cause heart attack. Worrying about that would also cause me constant anxiety.

Plus, on top of that, I know myself well enough to know that I would never remember to take a pill or use a patch every day; I don't even always remember to take vitamins and my omega tablets (flaxseed oil). I don't trust myself. I can also be really disorganized so losing my medicine would be a realistic possibility.

So yeah, it just would not work out, and I feel called to the lay single life.

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posted January 04, 2012 01:39 PM            

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Originally posted by amelia28:
My husband is similar except when he does initiate sex he spends very little time making out. He has an empty, 7th,8th,9th,10th,11th, and 12th house. He does have sun, mercury and pluto in the 5th! before we got serious he did initiate sex a lot and after the relationship got serious only once in a while. 5th house is sex for pleasure and sex that does not involve bonding.

Husband is a libra with saturn in libra, with mars, pluto, mercury in scorpio! venus in leo, and moon in cancer and gemini rising.

Very artistic and very cerebral and manly but not a high sex drive at least not once in a committed relationship. He is very faithful.

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posted January 04, 2012 01:40 PM            

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Originally posted by Frozen Queen:
I find it very inspiring that you were able to resolve such a traumatic experience from your past that I can't even begin to fathom and are happy and successful today. It would've been such an uphill battle and to know that you are over it makes me feel better somehow, gives me hope to make something out of my own life

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Thank you so very much for your kind words.

However, please be mindful that I'm male and not a female. The level of trauma must be compounded multi-fold for women. I'm not trying to "suck up" to females, as I am often accused of doing by certain men. I'm only stating the facts.

It really did take me a long time to get over my homophobia after that episode (I was forced into a complete culmination of oral sex, including the humiliating finish down the throat - at 10 years old, mind you), but I forced myself into maintaining an open mind and not allow a single traumatic episode to shape my life. In military analogy, a mind is like a parachute. It works only when open.

Of course, I was on my own. My parents unfortunately blamed me for the episode. Why did I follow the man, who was dressed in a dress shirt and tie BTW. Even the police subjected me to their torturous lie detection methods (fist slamming on the table, cane against the chair, etc.), as though I was the felon and the accused adult was the injured party.

posted January 04, 2012 01:41 PM            

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Originally posted by anongrl10:
Sweetie, if he's impotent (the 2nd possibility from the above listed), it matters not that you want him, you're younger, sexy and a Goddess. He just cannot do it. (Where's my drawing skills when I need them...)

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ohh please find them and draw again