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Author Topic:   Venus in Scorpio man doesn't like sex
love being Aries
Knowflake

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posted January 04, 2012 02:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
as unreal as it may sound, he has stellium in Libra and Venus in Scorpio and he is my first man in 23.8 years who is not "attracted" to the idea of sex. I can't say I have met a lot of men, but I sure haven't met one who doesn't Like Sex!
he is physically fit, he has a kid with a woman he was married to. Before that, he had been in a long-term relationship with a woman he was sleeping with, but was not married to. that makes a total of two sleeping partners in 30 years.

he says he likes making out and foreplay, he can go on long enough, but he's just not a sex-person. in his words "if it happens, its ok, but if you ask if I WANT it, then NO". is it poor placement of Venus with hard aspects?

Sun 3 Libra
Saturn 11 Libra
Jupiter 16 Libra
Pluto 23 Libra
Mercury 29 Libra

Venus 15 Scorpio
Uranus 27 Scorpio
Neptune 22 Sagittarius
Mars 15 Leo

Aspects:
Sun conjunct Saturn
Sun sextile Uranus
Mercury Conjunct Pluto
Venus Square Mars & opposite Chiron
Mars sextile Saturn and Jupiter & Trine Neptune Sextile Pluto


P.S sorry guys no houses, unknown TOB

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Lonake
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posted January 04, 2012 02:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I knew a Jup conj Saturn in Libra person who was the same.
He wanted the strong relationship bond, nothing fleeting, he wanted it to be for real, nothing based on needs, everything based on what was in line for the person, like 2 people perfectly converging on the same path.
Didn't do any kind of drama in relationships, never cheated, never talked bad about partners, never took advantage of anyone romantically, didn't have a big sex drive.
Could be a coincidence.

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Betty Boop
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posted January 04, 2012 03:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Weird because my first question as soon as I saw the title.. was going to be 'Does he have Venus square Mars?"
And whaddaya know - It's a very close one at that!

Mars represents sexual activity and Venus represents things you like and desire... so with the square the person can have a repulsion towards everything Mars-related (like basic instincts, including sexual ones).

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Betty Boop
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posted January 04, 2012 03:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
I sure haven't met one who doesn't Like Sex!

I have!

The only Venus square Mars people I know of who do not hate everything about male/female relationships... are on this website and they both have Moon conjunct Venus! (which I think changes the feel of the aspect)

Venus sq. Mars are usually aggressive and vocal in their hatred towards dating, sex, love, valentine's day, 'sex and the city' and any movies like 'sex and the city', marriage, female social behaviour, male social behaviour, flirting and... well... there isn't much in this area they are not waging a war on.

:edit: love being Aries - I couldn't remember whether you have the Venus/Mars conjunction.. (it might've been a different poster)... If you do have this - a Venus sq. Mars individual will seem like a huge headache coming on.
You can be helpful to them - because they might learn ways to better deal with this aspect... but they will not be very helpful in your life.

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MyVirgoMask
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posted January 04, 2012 03:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The square or opposition can go either way so they are either repulsed or drawn to it in extremities. My ex had the square and loved sex. I think people with squares or oppositions tend to associate with one side or another , hence the struggle. My Scorpio Venus would never give up sex entirely, but I did go through a path of no sex (I have Mars oppose Venus too) to regain emotional control.

What is his moon?

I would also consider Chiron's presence. It's very possible there's a link.

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VenusDiSirius
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posted January 04, 2012 03:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
BB,I have Mars sq Venus,and I can't relate to anything to mentioned.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted January 04, 2012 03:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
=

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MyVirgoMask
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posted January 04, 2012 03:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

I would also say that some Venus in Scorpio people might not want to have sex without love: for some Scorpios, sex has to be an intense experience that goes to a soul-reaching levels. While there are some promiscuous Scorpios/Scorpio-influenced people, there are others who are on the opposite end of the spectrum who want to give all and possess all with a person. The Scorpio women/influenced women whom I know personally fall into the latter category.

Yeah this pretty much nails it for my Venus. I went through a time of complete celibacy and before that a time of promiscuity. Both were completely about how much of myself I wanted to give, and how much to give in return. All or nothing.

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Xiiro
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posted January 04, 2012 04:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Xiiro     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yep, Venus in scorpio values deep, meaningful, and lasting interaction. Without depth, sex can be seen as valueless. Scorpio is also prone to extremes, which I have read makes Venus in Scorpio capable of manifesting as both a sexual ascetic and a hoochie.

Having Venus in Scorpio myself, I can definitely identify. My Mars in Leo desires the playfulness of sex, but my Venus in Scorpio desires to only play with those I feel deeply connected with.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted January 04, 2012 05:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
=

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Betty Boop
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posted January 04, 2012 06:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've only seen this 'rage' against sexuality&love - in people who actually *have* the square as an aspect -in orb-.

Venus - Is there anything to alter this aspect? Conjunctions to either Venus or Mars... or maybe it's a wide orb?

Also - what I said does not at all apply to my friends who have the opposition. They *love* everyone. They're more similar to the conjunction people.

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VenusDiSirius
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posted January 04, 2012 06:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:
I've only seen this 'rage' against sexuality&love - in people who actually *have* the square as an aspect -in orb-.

Venus - Is there anything to alter this aspect? Conjunctions to either Venus or Mars... or maybe it's a wide orb?

Also - what I said does not at all apply to my friends who have the opposition. They *love* everyone. They're more similar to the conjunction people.


3 degree orb,both angular!

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anongrl10
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posted January 04, 2012 06:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anongrl10     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Venus at 15 Scorpio like him.
I have Mars at 16 Aqua in square to my Venus like him.
I love sex.

My guess: he's lying and/or covering up for possible dysfunction/impotence/prior hurt.

Venus in Scorpio doesn't just want sex. We want a total merge with the other person. If you don't have that, Venus isn't happy but a Scorpio Venus wouldn't say NO to sex so categorically.

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RegardesPlatero
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posted January 04, 2012 06:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
=

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Xiiro
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posted January 04, 2012 06:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Xiiro     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, where is his Moon? I experienced sexual attraction and activity at a young age. By the time I was 11 I was looking for meaningful sexual experiences. Until I was about 25 however, I felt very little pleasure from sex as a recipient, but was very interested in giving pleasure to others. It wasn't until my mid-twenties I finally discovered that receiving sexual pleasure was also quite fun.

Venus in Scorpio relies a lot on the feeling of safety and control. My moon is Virgo, and played a huge role in my ability to experience sex comfortably. This guy's Moon may hold the key to approaching him sexually. I am also very fire heavy, so my experience with sex has revolved around sensuality. If this guy is very Air driven, he may simply enjoy communication, imagination, and relating more than dirty-sexy-time. Of course communication, imagination, and relating can all be a part of sex too. Having the smoothness to move from talking about it to acting on it, may be the big challenge.

A word of caution: Venus in Scorpio is awesome once you have earned it's trust, but takes a lot of patience. All the Venus in Scorpios I know (me included) have a relationship with sex which many people may consider quite broken. The truth is (especially if Neptune is involved) we are already very emotionally linked with people before connecting with them physically. Sex with people can feel as if we are experiencing being that person and can lead to absorbing our partners issues. If the connection isn't deep, we can walk away from a sexual experience feeling overwhelmed with feelings which don't even belong to us. It can be especially confusing to people who are not spiritual or do not understand what is going on. This Venus can experience sex as more of a thing to endure than an actual enjoyment. If his Mars is in Leo, I suggest petting him and showering him with complements. His Mars has a playful side regardless of what his head has decided.

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VenusDiSirius
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posted January 04, 2012 06:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for VenusDiSirius     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Xiiro,do you have Ben/Mars square?

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lilithpluto
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posted January 04, 2012 06:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lilithpluto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
I knew a Jup conj Saturn in Libra person who was the same.
He wanted the strong relationship bond, nothing fleeting, he wanted it to be for real, nothing based on needs, everything based on what was in line for the person, like 2 people perfectly converging on the same path.
Didn't do any kind of drama in relationships, never cheated, never talked bad about partners, never took advantage of anyone romantically, didn't have a big sex drive.
Could be a coincidence.

Ohmigod... the guy I fell madly in love with has that jup-saturn conjunction in libra (3 degree).

I'm depressed. -.-

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YoursTrulyAlways
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posted January 04, 2012 06:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YoursTrulyAlways     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Speaking as a male, are you sure that there are no psychological/emotional issues or physiological/dysfunctional issues? Not all men are able to perform, and dysfunction is more common than you ladies think. There are multiple effective methods of dealing with dysfunction, but identification of the issue is key. It's also a function of the female companion's emotional support. He's no less of a man if he can't perform, just in the same way a smaller than average Thomas doesn't make him less of a lover. Perhaps he needs less pressure and more of a break?

It has nothing to do with being physically fit or diet. I personally know a Special Forces Airborne Ranger Commando who is impotent at 25 years old. Forget about not staying up. It's not responding, period.

I can assure you that you would want a man like that rather than a man like me. Unless you want women galore in the guy's past sharing your bed. Do you want a man with three historical partners or one that has over a hundred/thousand? Just ask yourself that.

I was outright raped when young. Forced into intercourse at knifepoint at 10 years old. It was psychologically scarring for sure. But I struggled and got over the episode.

Lilithpluto, please don't be depressed, sweetheart. You don't even know whether any of this even applies to him. Just show him love and I'm sure he'll show you lots of love.

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love being Aries
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posted January 04, 2012 07:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Lonake:
I knew a Jup conj Saturn in Libra person who was the same.
He wanted the strong relationship bond, nothing fleeting, he wanted it to be for real, nothing based on needs, everything based on what was in line for the person, like 2 people perfectly converging on the same path.
Didn't do any kind of drama in relationships, never cheated, never talked bad about partners, never took advantage of anyone romantically, didn't have a big sex drive.
Could be a coincidence.

he is EXACTLY the same trust me. he hates games, first man in my life who says "hey listen don't plan with me ok" and he says it SO innocently, my God no wonder I'm in love LOL.he NEVER talks bad about his ex- but somehow i find him very hard to understand. well i have that problem with pretty much everyone LOL

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love being Aries
Knowflake

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posted January 04, 2012 07:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Betty Boop:

Venus sq. Mars are usually aggressive and vocal in their hatred towards dating, sex, love, valentine's day, 'sex and the city' and any movies like 'sex and the city', marriage, female social behaviour, male social behaviour, flirting and... well... there isn't much in this area they are not waging a war on.

yes i am the one with a Mars Venus Trine. well he doesn't hate sex, he's just not that into it like other guys I have met/dated. he flirts VERY well trust me, he can literally blow you off your feet, he is a really good kisser, very romantic, excellent lover. i was surprised only because I haven't met anyone who doesn't like SEX lol

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love being Aries
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posted January 04, 2012 07:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MyVirgoMask:
The square or opposition can go either way so they are either repulsed or drawn to it in extremities. My ex had the square and loved sex. I think people with squares or oppositions tend to associate with one side or another , hence the struggle. My Scorpio Venus would never give up sex entirely, but I did go through a path of no sex (I have Mars oppose Venus too) to regain emotional control.

What is his moon?

I would also consider Chiron's presence. It's very possible there's a link.



Chiron is in Taurus, opposing Venus and Square Mars. the first woman he slept with was his deep deep love. her memories haunted him even after she left him and he got married and had a kid. it stopped haunting him only after this, his saturn return, and then my appearance in his life and then quickly falling in love etc. this is the only time in his life (i know him for 3yrs) when i don't see him mourning about his ex- gf. I think Venus in Scorp makes him a very intense and deep lover.

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love being Aries
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posted January 04, 2012 07:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:

I would also say that some Venus in Scorpio people might not want to have sex without love: for some Scorpios, sex has to be an intense experience that goes to a soul-reaching levels. While there are some promiscuous Scorpios/Scorpio-influenced people, there are others who are on the opposite end of the spectrum who want to give all and possess all with a person. The Scorpio women/influenced women whom I know personally fall into the latter category.

I read this in another article written by a Scorpio sun guy who said that he wouldn't want sex just for sex, but its deeper for him.

This guy, whose data i posted, he has been quite a flirt in his earlier life, and he said he has had a lot of intimate stuff with many women, but he slept with only one, besides the wife of course, and that girl, i have mentioned above was love of his life. so i guess that is why he is cautious, because may be he is scared of getting hurt again.

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love being Aries
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posted January 04, 2012 07:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I can definitely hear you on Scorpio going to extremes. I always read that Venus in Scorpio is a very sexual placement/Venus in Scorpios love sex, but I think that the astrologers writing those descriptions forget that Scorpio can also swing to the other extreme end, which is where I am at.

My views on sex are definitely dark, for the most part, and intense. I get called out for that a lot, but I am who I am. The only thing that bothers me is that sometimes the anxiety of worrying about all of the ugliness that sex can bring and all of the problems really disturbs and upsets me, so I'm going to talk to my therapist about how to manage my anxiety on this issue--I am not going to become sexually active, and it's not going to change my views, but what I mean is that I would like to manage my feelings better, not to the point that I am no longer cautious, but to the point that I am equally cautious, equally aware of problems and consequences, but less consumed by them, if that makes sense. I have a Mars in Capricorn, so the consequences of anything--sex or other things--are never far from my mind. In all honesty, I don't really understand how people can relax or be playful about sex; I know that I personally could never enjoy sex because the consequences would always be on my mind and I would be terrified; I would be in a constant state of anxiety and panic every time that it happened. The concept of sex being relaxing doesn't really compute with me very well.

I do worry a lot about what can go wrong in any given situation, though I consider this a good thing. It's just that sometimes even when my head is right about something, my heart worries so much that it gets to me on a very deep level, so I need to manage the feelings better.


ok can I just ask you, what kind of consequences? I'm not asking to pry in your personal life, I'm just trying to figure him out

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Starry~*
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posted January 04, 2012 07:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Starry~*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it could be the mars sextile saturn. I know a guy who's has that aspect and on top of that sun conjunct saturn. His sex drive isn't huge, he wants it to be "natural" but he's definitely not crazy about banging every girl he sees. He much much rather having the deeper connection with someone - love.

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love being Aries
Knowflake

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posted January 04, 2012 07:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
I have Venus at 15 Scorpio like him.
I have Mars at 16 Aqua in square to my Venus like him.
I love sex.

My guess: he's lying and/or covering up for possible dysfunction/impotence/prior hurt.

Venus in Scorpio doesn't just want sex. We want a total merge with the other person. If you don't have that, Venus isn't happy but a Scorpio Venus wouldn't say NO to sex so categorically.


it doesn't make sense for first two possibilities. why would he say no to sex while he has a terrible, full of compromises and troubles life, he is having a high time with a naive and loving girl who is 8yrs younger than him and is totally in love with him. why would he say no to sex

but the later bit, about past hurt, i have seriously considered that!

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