posted January 31, 2012 11:13 PM            

Is the scale tipped on the side of the one who contributes Saturn, Pluto, and Mars, for example? Or even a Cap moon ?

Is it only the negative aspects that have the power, or do the trines, and sextiles also contribute?

What do you think? Thanks for brainstorming.

*EDIT TO ADD*
What about the aloof, freedom loving Uranus? And the oft used cliche' about the one who loves less has more power?

**EDIT AGAIN**
True love is also a power w/ the difference being that it is authentic power used by most people to the degree that they are self-aware.

posted January 31, 2012 11:33 PM            

In men:

Aries Moon, Aries Mercury, Aries Venus, Aries Mars.

In men and/or women:

Venus in Aries
Venus Retrograde
Venus square Mars
Venus square Saturn
Venus square Pluto
Mars square or opposite Pluto

And the least likely aspect *ever* to turn a relationship into a power-play is:

Venus or Mars in close trine/sextile or conj with Neptune.

Personally I think this is more so a natal issue. Because if one is not a control freak and they are not dating a control freak either - then regardless of what aspects they have in synastry/composite ... they'll be able to act reasonably towards each other.

---

posted February 01, 2012 12:13 AM            

Wow, it's an Aries sweep then, in men? Is it 'cause Aries is the zodiac baby, therefore immature?

"Personally I think this is more so a natal issue. Because if one is not a control freak and they are not dating a control freak either - then regardless of what aspects they have in synastry/composite ... they'll be able to act reasonably towards each other."

I completely agree. But even if neither party is a control freak, there is usually, imo, some sort of balance of power in all relationships. Ideally this balance would be even, but in reality relationships are never 50/50. Often one person ends up giving in more than the other sometimes to please the other or just to keep the peace. I'm not talking about compromising principles or anything. But more in mundane matters such as finances, or even having the last say in an argument (I mean, when the emotions are stirred, how many of us can fight fairly or "correctly," right?)

For example, I've read that if in synastry one's person's Saturn squares the other person's moon, then in emotional matters the Saturn person has the upper hand.

This is what I wondered about. Is it the "heavy hitters" like Saturn, Pluto, and yes Mars, that seek to have the upper hand in their areas of placement and synastry aspects and is it always the stressful aspects that create trouble?

"Also - people who have most of their planets in transpersonal signs and houses.. will usually not play power games in relationships. Personal signs are more combative... and social signs are very focused ON relationships for better or worse"

posted February 01, 2012 02:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Betty Boop:
In my experience the people who are most likely to see a relationship as a power play and to think of it in terms of "who has control?" -- etc.... Have one of these placements:

In men:

Aries Moon, Aries Mercury, Aries Venus, Aries Mars.

In men and/or women:

Venus in Aries
Venus Retrograde
Venus square Mars
Venus square Saturn
Venus square Pluto
Mars square or opposite Pluto

And the least likely aspect *ever* to turn a relationship into a power-play is:

Venus or Mars in close trine/sextile or conj with Neptune.

Personally I think this is more so a natal issue. Because if one is not a control freak and they are not dating a control freak either - then regardless of what aspects they have in synastry/composite ... they'll be able to act reasonably towards each other.

---

:edit: Also - people who have most of their planets in transpersonal signs and houses.. will usually not play power games in relationships. Personal signs are more combative... and social signs are very focused ON relationships for better or worse:edit:

---

Sigh.

posted February 01, 2012 07:01 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by mintgirl123:
Anyone with water signs and esp placements in scorpio does this alot.

Scorpio moon can be super controlling and manipulative.

---

Or Scorpio rising.

posted February 01, 2012 07:59 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Betty Boop:
In my experience the people who are most likely to see a relationship as a power play and to think of it in terms of "who has control?" -- etc.... Have one of these placements:

In men:

Aries Moon, Aries Mercury, Aries Venus, Aries Mars.

In men and/or women:

Venus in Aries
Venus Retrograde
Venus square Mars
Venus square Saturn
Venus square Pluto
Mars square or opposite Pluto

And the least likely aspect *ever* to turn a relationship into a power-play is:

Venus or Mars in close trine/sextile or conj with Neptune.

Personally I think this is more so a natal issue. Because if one is not a control freak and they are not dating a control freak either - then regardless of what aspects they have in synastry/composite ... they'll be able to act reasonably towards each other.

---

:edit: Also - people who have most of their planets in transpersonal signs and houses.. will usually not play power games in relationships. Personal signs are more combative... and social signs are very focused ON relationships for better or worse:edit:

---

i have teh aries merc but also the teh venush trine neptune.. whatuthink?

posted February 01, 2012 12:50 PM            

"My Libra friend has this and he flat out said "It's embedded in my personality to be manipulative, but I only do it as a means of helping people better themselves because I know what's best for them." And I said "Isn't that a rosy definition for controlling?" He, of course, said no and gave me a textbook reason why. I said "Well, why is your way the best?" Him: "What can I say, I'm biased."
...They're not objective either."

posted February 01, 2012 01:13 PM            

Relationships aren't about power plays but I'm willing to cede control to the one I love... and no one else.

In my home, my wife gets the opportunity to wear the pants all she wants. Anyone outside home who tries to do that to me is in for an extremely hard time, and will feel the front of my steel capped boots on the rear end.

posted February 01, 2012 03:37 PM            

"I have Mars Trine Pluto, Mars Trine Uranus and Mars Sextile ASC. I have Neptune Sextile Pluto, Pluto Opposite ASC and Pluto Square MC. Also Mercury Trine Pluto."

Your positively aspected Mars energy is contained and well directed.

Neptune sextile Pluto...I have this too, along with Pluto trine Jupiter which, in turn sextiles Neptune. I believe the sextile to Neptune and/or trine to Jupiter goes a long way in raising Pluto's energy to a higher level.

Mercury trine Pluto is good for intense but rational communication.

7th hse Pluto opp Asc. and square MC are your real "heavy hitters" in the outside world...er, "the front of my steel capped boots on the rear end" LOL

posted February 01, 2012 04:08 PM            

Thank you very much for your explanation Please don't mind my corny humor

posted February 01, 2012 05:11 PM              

the worst for wanting the control are 'fixed signs' espec on angles, scorpio and leo absolutely want the control in everything, not just relationships to..

thing with Aries is it's *SELFISH* and all about them, them and them. BUT it's not the same as wanting the control or forcing control in relationships.

so planets in 8th house of scorpio, planets in 5th house of leo.

Basic astrology forum, How to approach Synastry http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum12/private-jjLYZw161/HTML/000667.html

quote:

---

Which planets and aspects would determine it?
Is the scale tipped on the side of the one who contributes Saturn, Pluto, and Mars, for example? Or even a Cap moon ?

---

quote:

---

Venus in Aries
Venus Retrograde
Venus square Mars
Venus square Saturn
Venus square Pluto
Mars square or opposite Pluto

---

posted February 01, 2012 05:56 PM            

quote:

---

Wow, it's an Aries sweep then, in men? Is it 'cause Aries is the zodiac baby, therefore immature?

---

I really feel like it is. But this is just based on my own experiences. I could be biased since I have Capricorn Moon & Mars (although my Sun is Aries).
Maybe others find Aries-ness likeable.. I'm not sure... But I definitely have problems with those placements in men (with *some*/rare exceptions)

quote:

---

in reality relationships are never 50/50. Often one person ends up giving in more than the other sometimes to please the other or just to keep the peace.

---

My idea of a good relationship is one where people willingly *give* in - in some respects - and are able to compromise.. definitely not one where one person is giving in all the time. I know what you mean because I've witnesses such relationships... but it's not really my cup of tea. I have Venus closely trine Mars and I feel like a good *balance* is needed. I don't like the idea of either partner being in control on -everything-... I mean different problems/situations/issues come up in life and I think as a couple people should come to mutual decisions.. not fight over who has the more control.

SaggiMC -

quote:

---

thing with Aries is it's *SELFISH* and all about them, them and them. BUT it's not the same as wanting the control or forcing control in relationships.

---

I disagree, simply because self-centredness spills into other areas. It's not just all about them. It's about *everything* being their way - The way they want it to be... because like a child, they stomp on their feet when they don't get what they want and they can become pretty aggressive. (In particular Aries Moon & Aries Venus men!)

Scorpio and the other social/transpersonal fixed signs.. are focused ON other people. They GIVE and they TAKE. For me a relationship should always involve a give & take..
For the placements I posted - in my experience it is *just* take.

Scorpio Moon might be controlling - but they will also GIVE you a lot of support and love.. It is not a one way street with them holding exclusive control. They also GIVE you control when they are in love, in a relationship. A social sign is better able to *balance* their own needs/desires with those of others. Personal signs find this challenging.

sand - You seem very calm and relaxed to me. I could get a Taurus/Scorpio vibe from you but I don't feel "Aries" lol...
How close is the Venus trine Neptune?

YTA -

quote:

---

Its called l-o-v-e.
Relationships aren't about power plays but I'm willing to cede control to the one I love

---

posted February 01, 2012 06:09 PM            

"Thank you very much for your explanation"

You're welcome.

"Please don't mind my corny humor"

I don't. Your humor is coming from Uranus trine Mars, and widishly, trine Mercury. Besides your Mars, Mercury, Uranus, and Pluto are all taking their their lead from spiritual and singleton Neptune in the 9th. So you're a good guy and your bark's waaaay worse than your bite, imo.

posted February 01, 2012 08:48 PM            

"My idea of a good relationship is one where people willingly *give* in - in some respects - and are able to compromise.. definitely not one where one person is giving in all the time. I know what you mean because I've witnesses such relationships... but it's not really my cup of tea."

You were the first to respond to my thread and I completely appreciate that. Since then, however, I've edited my original post which you may have missed. My apologies. I was trying to step away from real, true, and healthy love, so to speak, and consider just the basics from which less self aware people may "operate". The essence of what I'm trying to understand is hopefully more clear in the edit of my original post. But thank you for your impassioned response, Aries Sun, it makes for a lively debate.

"I disagree, simply because self-centredness spills into other areas. It's not just all about them. It's about *everything* being their way - The way they want it to be... because like a child, they stomp on their feet when they don't get what they want and they can become pretty aggressive. (In particular Aries Moon & Aries Venus men!)"

posted February 01, 2012 08:59 PM            

Thanks for the boatload of information. I briefly checked the forum you've mentioned and plan to plod thro' it over time.

"These seem to be rather simplistic generic ideas and synastry to me is far more complex."

I know and I take full responsibility for this. It is precisely because of it's complexity that I wanted a bird's eye view of just the basics--to which you've contributed, so thanks.

I'm curious to know from you what you think about Saturn's contribution to power in a relationship (aside from Pluto)?.

Thank you again.

posted February 01, 2012 10:19 PM            

A) I'll respect them and gladly be passive/submissive.
B) If they're arrogantly so (for example), become defiant and escapist.

posted February 01, 2012 10:24 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Linda Jones:
SaggiMC,

Thanks for the boatload of information.

---

LMAO "BOATLOAD"...

posted February 01, 2012 10:36 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Linda Jones:
I don't. Your humor is coming from Uranus trine Mars, and widishly, trine Mercury. Besides your Mars, Mercury, Uranus, and Pluto are all taking their their lead from spiritual and singleton Neptune in the 9th. So you're a good guy and your bark's waaaay worse than your bite, imo.

BTW, your Asc at 5-6 Pisces is sextile mine at 2-3 Taurus. That's a spiritual connection, see. So I'm ontaya!

---

Thank you so much, and you're way too kind

posted February 01, 2012 10:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Betty Boop:
YTA -

Exactly! And... if she was here replying - isn't it true that she would say the same thing about you?
Because that's what I think makes a good relationship. That both people are willing to *cede* control (and hence compromise).. Not to try and acquire MORE control.
For me this is just the difference between genuinely *loving* another person and hence wanting to make them happy.... as opposed to.... putting yourself *first* and wanting to use them to improve your own life experience.

---

Hahahahahaha

If she were here, you would hear: "Naw. I 0wn his a$$ and he better do as I say or I'll kick his butt" just joking

The truth is that it is a marriage of two strong, domineering personalities, and we both know that you can have a well defined, coordinated strategy to accomplish agreed upon objectives, but you can't exactly have two people steering the same ship.

The career is my domain since my job is to secure the welfare of the family and I am the breadwinner. She takes an immense interest in my affairs but she also gives me the freedom to make my own informed, reasonable, rational decisions.

The home is her domain since she is the queen of the house and she rules the roost. I come home from work and the living room walls are painted a different colour/color and the furniture is new.

posted February 01, 2012 10:57 PM            

"Ancient wisdom says a happy wife leads to a happy life. Selectively ceding authority has its benefits."

posted February 01, 2012 11:19 PM            

What are your major aspects to Pluto, Mars, and Saturn (upto orbs of 5)?