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Author
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Topic: i need to understand boyfriend's character trait
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chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 15, 2012 06:01 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by Starry~*:
Yes. DATING for 3.5 years. Not MARRIED for 3.5 years. There's the difference. Sentiment? Normal attachedness about pregnancy? this all sounds like things coming from a couple who's married and already know that they wanna spend the rest of their lives together and know they want a family together. Not necessarily a couple who's just dating, or in the process of learning to accept and get to know each other. Ask yourself this: Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him? If he got on one knee tomorrow and asked you to marry him, would you say yes? If you can't even answer that, then there's a problem. And again, "normal for men". You are trying to fit the description of how every man should be like into a box. Generally speaking, there should be a ballpark, but everybody has their story and their reasons.
nope.
you dont understand
there is a difference between not being ready
for having children
and not wanting to have children with you...
normal for men?
yes, there is a normal for men...
as yourstruly has supported
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chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 15, 2012 06:02 PM
quote:
Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
Gimme a break. A guy who doesn't know whether he wants kids, how many kids or when he wants kids after 3-1/2 years of dating doesn't know his cranium from his posterior.Sounds like he doesn't want kids. Period.
thanks yourstruly...
i think you get it
good to read from a man's perspective
always better understanding
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chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 15, 2012 06:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by cappy1277:
[B]Men & women who are truly into each other will try to get as much quality bonding time as much as possible, schedules permitting.
there, regardless of honeymoon phase
this is what i would write as being 'normally' IP: Logged |
chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 15, 2012 06:29 PM
i want to add...
for those who want to be judgmental..
i dont see the point or value to talk about the past and the whys
things change, circumstances change and people change...maybe, he is just self-centered and astrology has nothing to do with it
since he has four planets in earth (virgo and cap) also, it could be that he is not into me
or, that we have different love styles... none of this matters anymore though IP: Logged |
cappy1277
Knowflake Posts: 801
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 15, 2012 06:43 PM
No judgement whatsoever....earth signs are very self contained & self absorbed something I can vouch for with me being a cap dating a cap. You listed all his planets but we don't know yours. Even though you asked the potential of his personality the synastry or composite would give us a better idea of the dynamics of the relationship itself.IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted February 15, 2012 07:05 PM
Hun he doesn't love you. With his placements, if he gave a stuff about you it would be obvious. Both leo n virgo placements make someone a great partner, if they cared. Imo he's using u... Until sb he's more into comes along. It's like you are the back up chick.IP: Logged |
chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 15, 2012 07:07 PM
ok cappy,
i dont know how much astro will help
but here, it goes.
his birthtime is not exact, with the estimated time, we said cap, but aqua asc can be cold and indifferent too
composite  synastry  IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted February 15, 2012 08:15 PM
My dad has an aqua rising, a stellium in scorpio, venus in cap and cancer mars and let me tell you, although he's reserved in showing affection, it's obvious he cares about my mother.ANY guy who's into a girl will make the effort. The comment about babies shows he doesn't see you in his future. I know you care about him, but this is much too one sided. I'm a virgo sun and mars, and although I can be alittle reluctant (at times) to express feelings verbally, it's pretty darn obvious from my actions.
This guy doesn't want to be alone, it seems so he has you there for convenience. But it's not bc he loves you. IP: Logged |
cappy1277
Knowflake Posts: 801
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 15, 2012 11:11 PM
From looking at your own planets, you need deep intimacy....Venus conjunct pluto and your ego is centered in interpersonal relationships with sun in 7th house. Your moon is exalted in Taurus in the first house which makes highly emotional if not irrational at times. (I have Gemini moon in 1st house so picture that lol). You need more emotionally period. Virgo men with Leo planets can be very selfish & centered more on their own needs (personal experiences but we know it goes beyond that). You have a Taurus rising like me so I know that you need alot more security than what you are getting but if you can't get it, you're going to drive yourself mad trying to get it even if it's unattainable. You're fixed in mostly all your planets so its hard to move on from something once you have set your mind on it. But because this didn't or isn't working for you doesn't make you a failure...you can't fix everything or make it work & only settle for a little something when you need more. IP: Logged |
chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 16, 2012 03:17 AM
thanks  so cappy, going the astro way,
would you say that it is more the different love styles conflict
or is he acting out of character in spite of his placements? because as many have said, venus and mars in leo is not like this. also, what type of placements in a man would satisfy my chart? i also fear that because i have a lot of squares and oppositions, this will make me never feel stable/happy in relationships because aspects like these are hard to balance internally. for example, ive been with men that have water (cancer) and i couldnt stand them very well, they were too emotional for me and needy and i was too direct and 'insensitive' for them.
however, looking at my watery emotional needs, i would sort of need a man with some water, just not too emo.
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mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted February 16, 2012 03:33 AM
He's not acting out of character. He's acting this way cos he's not into you.
The most aloof guy ever will not act this way or say those things if he truly wants you in his life and wants a real future with you.IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted February 16, 2012 03:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
Have you read the book (or seen the movie) with the title "He's not that into you"?
You know the answer already. I am not going to be cruel and say it out loud.
From where I sit, he sounds like a jerk esp the lack of effort for your b/day and the horrendous comment about "his children" and "your children". He doesn't love you or he would be seeing a future that includes you both.
A person can be good but still not love you.
That's the bottom line. This arrangement is great for him because he has everything he wants from a relationship without the feelings. If you don't dump him, you basically tell him that you're alight with this arrangement (regardless of what your say in words -- actions speak louder).
This is 100% truth. You gotta read it again.
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chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 16, 2012 03:48 AM
quote:
Originally posted by mintgirl123:
This is 100% truth. You gotta read it again.
why? im not visually impaired.
and i already agreed with this poster.
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mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 1979
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted February 16, 2012 04:24 AM
Then why are you asking "going the astro way,
would you say that it is more the different love styles conflict
or is he acting out of character in spite of his placements?"Cos it seems like you're hoping Cappy would tell you that he's acting this way cos of his personality or bc of some aspect or placement in his chart. o_O IP: Logged |
crabbypatty
Knowflake Posts: 573
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted February 16, 2012 07:15 AM
Choco, i agree with the other posters who say he's not into you enough... that's been established in the court of public opinion.You should break up with him whenever you want, but your expectation that he'll have questions and you should be ready to answer them.... that indicates to me that you are so "other-centered" that you might always put the other person's feelings ahead of your own, and that reminds me of how I used to be. Not a good place. There is such a thing as too much compassion for the other. Sometimes you have to just believe that YOUR rights and YOUR emotions are paramount, and to heck with the other guy, they'll just have to deal. You honestly don't owe him any answers. Just say goodbye, I wish you peace and love. And walk away. Once you clear this mediocrity out of your life, you can then ask the Universe to send you the man who is your perfect match, who will love and adore you. Pray for it and focus your thoughts (which are very powerful things) on the kind of character traits you need your next lover to have. I am certain he will come your way. You just need to clear the cobwebs first. Don't keep anything from Virgo guy around. Throw out his gifts, his photos, his letters. The Universe will need clear space for this new fabulous man. IP: Logged |
Capriquarius
Knowflake Posts: 1347
From: So. Cal
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted February 16, 2012 07:33 AM
*applauds anongrl10, mintgirl123 & crabbypatty*Yeah chocogold, no more emotions should be invested into this guy because his words and actions indicate his emotions are detached from you. I'm kind of in the same sich but decided to keep the guy around for sex because since his progressed Mars trines mine, the physical attraction is quite pleasant. (We don't connect in any other way and he also comes with major baggage in the form of friends/group activity - Neptune in the 11th square Saturn in the 8th, ugh, never again!!) IP: Logged |
cappy1277
Knowflake Posts: 801
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted February 16, 2012 05:54 PM
i just think it's the scorpio in her that wants to delve into his psyche for her own acknowledgement...if you also notice they both have venus retrograde in their natals. Venus Retrograde
* reconsiders before expressing love or affection
* relates awkwardly to others
* doubts the love others offer
* can become obsessed in relationships
* feels let down by the commitment level of others to me he is acting out of character...you just need more emotionally from a partner. you want to be consumed by someone and he isn't it.
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chocogold
Knowflake Posts: 29
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted February 17, 2012 12:12 AM
thanks cappyi will keep all of you updated thanks IP: Logged |
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