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Author Topic:   just found out my friend is in love with me
woah cakes
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posted February 28, 2012 11:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
..and it's weirding me out that i am kind of excited. he is a WEIRD guy. weird weird. a fellow aquarian. SUPER sweet and good hearted and brilliant and also quite weird. but lovely! he looks almost exactly like one of my longest lasting celeb crushes (and i don't get many of those) from my teenage years to mid twenties.

he moved away about 2 years ago and i miss him a lot but i didn't know till tonight that he was so in love with me that he 'HAD' to move away cuz it was breaking his heart to not be with me

he's also engaged.

and i have no idea why i am excited and i wonder if i have feelings for him too (always thought he was cute and great but never really felt that way, or maybe i did a tiny bit but it was complicated plus when i knew him i had a boyfriend).

i'm trying to figure out why he's so in love with me and if my being excited could be motivated by some kind of supidity. i wouldn't and couln't break his heart again. just peeked at his chart and we have one of the best synastries i've seen. well it's not THAT amazing but there are lots of blue lines and only two reds. they kinda scare me though: jupiter/venus (his) square pluto and saturn square saturn.

as for the good stuff, we have stuff like his venus and jupiter trine my moon tightly, but the one i'm most curious about is his mars exactly conjunct my neptune. could that explain his feelings for me and why they couldn't come to be?? i feel such an ache now that i know i hurt him but i have never had this aspect with anyone, i don't think. do i represent an elusiveness to him that he wants to merge with or something?

is saturn square saturn doomed?, and jeez i thought venus sq pluto was usually the pluto person who was obsessed! and is it even workable in a healthy mature relationship?? thanks if anyone has any thoughts!

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mintgirl123
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posted February 29, 2012 12:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Doesn't matter either way imo.
He's engaged, he should be off limits.

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 12:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
doesn't matter what stuff in our charts has to do with his feelings for me? you realize you're talkign to an aquarius, right? information is like breathing to us.

this is a good friend and i'm just trying to figure it out. i have no plans of hurting him or destroying his relationship, as i mentioned above. i also didn't get a chance to process it at the time so i think i have a right to now, two years later, if i so choose.

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mintgirl123
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posted February 29, 2012 12:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You're putting too much energy on a guy that's engaged.

You say you don't like him, yet you can post this long post about him and your synastry aspects etc.

You asked "is it even workable in a healthy mature relationship?"

Uh he's taken, so yeah. o_O
But just my opinion, whatever floats ya boat.

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 12:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
also, knowing him, i think it COULD be that he is having doubts in his relationship and that is why he chose to tell me. i will be nothing but supportive of him and if he needs to talk this through then he needs to. i will not indulge any fantasies and would never do anything with anyone who was involved with someone else (i have never cheated or assisted a cheater and never would, even nonphysically). but yeah i do have a right to contemplate this situation, as it is also part of MY life, not just his.

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 12:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh jeepers i meant theoretically, retroactively, distant futureactively, etc.

you can think what you want but can also stay off my thread if you are going to jump down my throat and make assumptions kay?

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mintgirl123
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posted February 29, 2012 12:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No need to get defensive when I didn't say anything offensive.
Peace <3

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 12:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
and yeah i also MIGHT have feelings for him, i'm not sure. i really am not. i'm surprised that i'm feeling kind of excited by his confession. that doesn't mean i'm going to jump on it.. i mean really. anyway this is someone i have spent a LOT of time with and know very well and yeah it's really weird to contemplate the whole situation. not thinking things through is impossible to aquarians anyway.

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 01:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
making assumptions and being judgemental is kinda annoying. i see you edited and put in some nicer stuff, cool. i guess i wonder why you assume i'm being immoral by wanting to think this through? maybe aquarians are too weird to be made sense of by most but i am very stubbornly loyal and likewise don't mess with peoples' relationships.

still, when someone tells me they are head over heels in love with me and i feel excited by that, it is worth exploring those emotions, don't you think?

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featherlightly
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posted February 29, 2012 01:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for featherlightly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Post the charts!

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 01:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
and also i mostly just wanted to know if mars conjunct neptune could be responsible for this 'fantasy' that never amounted to anything.

..hmmm.

seems like i could have just been the object of fantasy to him, esp with venus sq pluto, i imagine. also my jupiter trines his neptune so i'm guessing i expanded upon his fantasies or something.

his fiancee seems very cool and nice btw and i'm happy for him and want him to be happy.

still.. ..i'm curious!

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mintgirl123
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posted February 29, 2012 01:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't put words in my mouth. I never said you were unscrupulous. I just said the guy's taken so it doesn't matter either way.

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mintgirl123
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posted February 29, 2012 01:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And my comment about boats was referring to me thinking that if sb told me they loved me and they were taken, I wouldn't really contemplate the possibilities cos they're still taken at the end of the day. So will be a waste of my time.

Wasn't hinting at or condemning you in any manner so don't worry. =)

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 01:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ok.. i still felt judged.. maybe the assumption part was meant in that it felt you were against my thinking about it and therefore i felt you assumed i was intending to act on any feelings i might have.

i agree that he's off limits but i don't agree that it doesn't matter.

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 01:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
true true. but like i said telling an aqua not to think is like telling a (general) person not to breathe!

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Ceridwen
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posted February 29, 2012 01:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ceridwen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by woah cakes:
and also i mostly just wanted to know if mars conjunct neptune could be responsible for this 'fantasy' that never amounted to anything.

Yes, Mars-Neptune-conjunction could very well be indicative of erotic fantasies.

I understand your wish or even need to process this new piece of information and somehow deal with it.
I don´t know if it has to do with my Moon in Aquarius, but I also understand that you want to check "hypothetical" synastry, even if nothing of it will ever be realized in "real life". As you said he is engaged, and before that you were in a relationship.
But of course feelings can be triggered despite that; that doesn´t mean someone would or should act on these feelings.
For me these are two different pair of shoes: awareness of feelings and acting on them.

Anyway, are you in love? Of course only you can answer that, but from your posting I get more a vibe of being flattered (after all he was your friend, so there must have been some sympathy), but also of surprise/ shock, that somehow you failed to notice.


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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 01:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
featherlightly, i probably shouldn't cuz i really am on the fence about whether or not i should really let myself think TOO much about this. also our composite isn't very great. well it's ok but nothing spectacular.

besides what i listed already we have sun/sun merc/merc (all conjunct) and his sun and merc also cj my mars and that's pretty much it. not sure of where his moon or angles are. also his saturn trines my aqua stellium which is nice. i always felt supported by him in a lot of ways.

hmmm, yeah, just noticed his saturn makes a lot of contact to my chart but mine hardly at all to his. could be another reason he had/has more feelings.

gosh i wish i could figure out why i'm so excited even though i obviously can't indulge the feeling. well we had a LOT of fun together. i wonder if i repressed my feelings or something. darn i wish my heart would shutup and stop zinging.

life is weird.

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Libreo
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posted February 29, 2012 01:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Libreo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well of course he's in love with you, your'e awesome! Who is the celebrity that he looks like?

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 01:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ceridwen, YES, totally! as an aqua i feel like everything is theoretical, even stuff we take at face value. heh. i mean, i see possibilities and variabilities in everything and it's hard to pin reality down into 'fact' if you know what i mean. and then factor in how weird emotions are for us (well i for one, while i do feel them, need a loooooot of time to process them. months sometimes, for even the most minor thing), and well, the mind doesn't ever really rest. well i also have merc cj mars exact but in the slow mo second house! but yeah obviously it's a fact that he's taken..

and yes, i do feel flattered and shocked! i feel like he might be feeling out my reaction because he's not sure of his relationship, too. just a hunch. i know him to be extremely loyal as well and has a couple of decade-ish long relationships under his belt. venus in cap; no messin around.

also it would wreck me if he left her for me or something cuz i am only 10% sure this is anything more than, as you say, feeling flattered and/or shock. still there is something so incredibly endearing about him!

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Betty Boop
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posted February 29, 2012 01:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
With Mars/Neptune - it is usually the Neptune person who feels apprehensive about making things real and physical. So the Neptune person dreams about Mars. It is interesting you said he looks like your celeb crush. This is a *classic* way this conjunction can play out.
On the other hand, for Mars this attraction is more real.. and they try to make it *physical*. Neptune can go along with this though - It really depends on the people involved.
My mum and step dad have an exact Mars/Neptune conj in synastry - and they have been together 12 yrs.

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 01:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
libero! ha, thanks! i can't tell you cuz he is extremely unique looking and anyone from this board could pinpoint him if they knew him!

..betty boop that is fascinating! do you mean even in cases when the crush has existed for years prior? i can totally see that happeneing, but incredible none the less. had an immediate strong attraction to him because of this but then somehow it sorta fizzled. he was always very enthusiastic about me, coming over several times a day (we lived in the same apt complex) and we always had a great time but i mostly began to feel.. yeah, apprehensive cuz he was so keen to hang out all the time and i was a loner. i definitely distanced and i can see it also as apprehension, in a general sense.

i do wonder if i would have ended up being with him if the timing had been right or if i would have continued to feel that vague hesitation around him, always. on the other hand i can imagine it would have and could have been extremely ..uh.. kinky and rich in fantasy, if we had. and that is not my cup of tea with most (the extra freaky stuff).

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Betty Boop
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posted February 29, 2012 01:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One possible problem is.. because you (as Neptune) idealise him as a very perfectly good looking guy... You might feel threatened and act disinterested due to this.
I also have this aspect in my own chart - and I've seen this happen a few times with guys in my generation who have their Neptune on my Mars... They get it into their heads that I'm some kind of female version of Casanova (which I'm not!)... and they become really apprehensive.. and afraid that I might hurt them down the track.

I don't usually quote Liz Greene, because I don't particularly like her style... but I can relate to this interpretation:

The sexual charisma of Mars, as perceived by Neptune, may seem untrustworthy and dangerous, because the protector might, at any point, go off and protect or conquer someone else. In an effort to bind the Mars person, Neptune may try to obtain protection through failure, illness or victimisation, or may unconsciously undermine Mars' potency through subtle forms of rejection and evasiveness which keep Mars feeling uncertain and confused. Neptune can thwart Mars' need for clear-cut action, asking Mars to make the decisions, and then sabotaging the results. Or Neptune may resort to sexual coyness and deceit, baffling Mars' cruder but more honest approach to sexual matters. Neptune is adept at producing a classic "Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow" script; Mars is refused, but never directly, and the eager knight is kept hoping and waiting, 'increasingly furious and frustrated, while Neptune plays virginal, tantalising, or a peculiar combination of the two. Ongoing frustration may draw cruelty and violence from Mars, as bear-baiting will draw savagery from the bear. Behind this sad enactment is the Neptune person's deep fear of losing his or her champion, whose strength and sexual magnetism are so idealised, and without whom one might fall into the abyss.[/quote]
http://www.scribd.com/Moonlightshadow/d/8219806-Neptune-in-Synastry-and-the-Composite-Chart

As always, I think she over dramatises the whole thing... but the gist is basically *true* - at least in my experience.

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Betty Boop
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posted February 29, 2012 02:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Betty Boop     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
i do wonder if i would have ended up being with him if the timing had been right or if i would have continued to feel that vague hesitation around him, always

Yeah I know that feeling.. Actually my mum and step dad met during a presentation he was giving at a conference. And during the presentation he could not stop staring at her (as he was presenting).. but neither of them contacted the other. And they didn't officially meet at that time. A year later he emailed her. It was all very serendipitous lol

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 02:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hmmmm.. that's interesting.

i don't relate to it much and i think that's mostly cuz i'm not actually that attracted to him. the crush i had on the celeb had also fizzled out a few years before that so it was an odd sort of inborn fizzlement when i was first attracted to him (and that did not last long). i am trying to determine at this moment by looking at his photos what my feelings for him are and whether i am attracted to him or not. seems to be a lot of complex feelings that arise but nothing concrete. could be neptune right there. in SOME of his photos i am super drawn to him but in some i really do feel apprehensive, but not in the self sabotaging way liz describes. in fact, it's kind of almost a repulsion or something (that is not really physical per se but is not really grounded in much cuz he's a really good guy), but i'm not sure why. maybe that has more to do with our venus pluto square.

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woah cakes
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posted February 29, 2012 02:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for woah cakes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
awww that's sweet. is your dad the mars?

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