posted July 06, 2012 01:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by redshift:
[b]AquaGuy, just sounds like you aren't noticing and approaching a certain type of women that isn't like that. I know TONS of women that would never put up with players, douchebags or any of the that sy***, myself included.

Is it possible you are attracted to these flakier types of ladies? They tend to be childlike and docile which can stir strong masculine impulses in men. They are very appearance focused so as to please men and use all the trappings that indicate willingness to please (high heels, make-up, revealing clothes etc). They are very open and approachable to men initially as they give off the girly receptive vibe. These qualities can be a huge draw for men, unless they are attuned to seeing deeper than that.

Just curious if that's the type of woman you are drawn to on the surface.

Women who aren't game for a-holes generally don't make themselves as available and are more challenging to approach, but often are more kind, appreciate your effort more and are more active in giving and showing interest if you don't act like a d-bag.

Shallow women are unlikely to be considerate, empathetic or kind. Do you think you may be approaching too many of this type of woman?

I find lots of men have low expectations of women and therefore are totally blind to the women that rise above those expectations.

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[/B][/QUOTE]

posted July 06, 2012 02:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Sleazy guys have more confidence in their game, than genuine guys do. Not saying it's right that they have that kind of confidence but that's what ultimately is attractive and irresistible.

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posted July 06, 2012 02:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by redshift:
AquaGuy, just sounds like you aren't noticing and approaching a certain type of women that isn't like that. I know TONS of women that would never put up with players, douchebags or any of the that s***, myself included.

Is it possible you are attracted to these flakier types of ladies? They tend to be childlike and docile which can stir strong masculine impulses in men. They are very appearance focused so as to please men and use all the trappings that indicate willingness to please (high heels, make-up, revealing clothes etc). They are very open and approachable to men initially as they give off the girly receptive vibe. These qualities can be a huge draw for men, unless they are attuned to seeing deeper than that.

Just curious if that's the type of woman you are drawn to on the surface.

Women who aren't game for a-holes generally don't make themselves as available and are more challenging to approach, but often are more kind, appreciate your effort more and are more active in giving and showing interest if you don't act like a d-bag.

Shallow women are unlikely to be considerate, empathetic or kind. Do you think you may be approaching too many of this type of woman?

I find lots of men have low expectations of women and therefore are totally blind to the women that rise above those expectations.

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I completely agree with this.

Someone once said (on a trashy reality tv show, but I still find it to be true lol) "You exude what you attract"

Girls who are insecure or expect that all guys are just going to be a**holes or only want them for their looks, will present themselves a certain way as a defense or as to "measure up" and then end up attracting the very kind of guys they talk about disliking or having a problem with...

But same goes for guys. A lot of those macho d-bag guys you're talking about have the lowest self esteem as it is anyway. And if you expect that all women are immature or insecure and are just going to reject you because they're only looking for that certain type of guy (that you aren't) then maybe it's possible that you are being stand-offish as a defense when you meet girls who maybe aren't as outgoing or don't play into your insecurities....

And I think having confidence isn't so much about being a certain way with women like a "ladies man" or whatever, it's completely internal and I know that's the hardest thing but once you really believe for yourself that you don't deserve to be treated that way, rejection won't hurt nearly as much and the rest will come naturally.

Were you born in 91 aquaguy? Because if so I was too and I do agree with you that a lot of people in our age group (not all though) either seem to be in superficial or dysfuncitonal relationships... But I think that's just because we are all still young and immature in ways, and we're all learning about these things and are in it together in a way lol

posted July 06, 2012 02:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
lol, i dont get the whole hangup people have with confidence. i personally prefer girls who dont have the whole hey look at me attitude. girls who post 100 bathibg suit pics on facebook turn me off. i dont understand the appeal of guys who post a bunch of shirtless pics either.. but thats the type that gets the ladies.

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posted July 06, 2012 02:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
I completely agree with this.

Someone once said (on a trashy reality tv show, but I still find it to be true lol) "You exude what you attract"

Girls who are insecure or expect that all guys are just going to be a**holes or only want them for their looks, will present themselves a certain way as a defense or as to "measure up" and then end up attracting the very kind of guys they talk about disliking or having a problem with...

But same goes for guys. A lot of those macho d-bag guys you're talking about have the lowest self esteem as it is anyway. And if you expect that all women are immature or insecure and are just going to reject you because they're only looking for that certain type of guy (that you aren't) then maybe it's possible that you are being stand-offish as a defense when you meet girls who maybe aren't as outgoing or don't play into your insecurities....

And I think having confidence isn't so much about being a certain way with women like a "ladies man" or whatever, it's completely internal and I know that's the hardest thing but once you really believe for yourself that you don't deserve to be treated that way, rejection won't hurt nearly as much and the rest will come naturally.

Were you born in 91 aquaguy? Because if so I was too and I do agree with you that a lot of people in our age group (not all though) either seem to be in superficial or dysfuncitonal relationships... But I think that's just because we are all still young and immature in ways, and we're all learning about these things and are in it together in a way lol

I also think where you meet people is an important factor. Obviously bars are not the best place lol. Mutual friends can be a good way to meet people, but if you haven't had luck with the ways you've been meeting girls maybe try branching out and finding a hobby or volunteering, or anything where you'll be able to meet people with similar interests and that might be looking for something more solid... It's best when it just happens naturally and you have a connection with someone before it becomes romantic...

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posted July 06, 2012 02:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by redshift:
I know TONS of women that would never put up with players, douchebags or any of the that s***, myself included.

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Please point me in their direction cause I could really use finding one. As far as I can see they're either all taken, or I just can't find any. You're tough to find.

But its not just women, I have plenty of friends who keep going after women who mess them around and mis-treat them. So both genders are more than capable of screwing each other other.

I do have to say though with some major bias that I think women know less what they want in a relationship and they have more 'grey' areas than men do. They are more willing to forgive, what I consider, unforgiveable transgressions.

What upsets me the most is that I see so many women who when a guy starts to treat them like an actual person, not an object, not someone they can dump their problems and take their insecurities out on. They actually seem to double take and go, "whats going on here? Why is he treating me like an actual person?"

It seems to me that some women are so familiar and comfortable with being treated badly, second hand and not equally that they run away from someone who potentially might treat them well because they don't know what to do.

Please don't misunderstand me, I know its not all women and I am so thankful that there are women who are not like that out there. They just need to speak up and show themselves a little more.

posted July 06, 2012 02:21 PM            

quote:

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i know i may come off as bitter and angry on here, but thats just not the case,i dont expect every woman i meet to be this way, thats just been my experience. i always approach dating and meeting with women with an optimistic attitude. also i have never even been to a club, you wouldnt catch me dead in one.

[/B]

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Lol I wasn't trying to imply that that's how you meet girls, jut going off the whole people in our age group have messed up relationships...

posted July 06, 2012 02:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Swift Freeze:
Please point me in their direction cause I could really use finding one. As far as I can see they're either all taken, or I just can't find any. You're tough to find.

But its not just women, I have plenty of friends who keep going after women who mess them around and mis-treat them. So both genders are more than capable of screwing each other other.

I do have to say though with some major bias that I think women know less what they want in a relationship and they have more 'grey' areas than men do. They are more willing to forgive, what I consider, unforgiveable transgressions.

What upsets me the most is that I see so many women who when a guy starts to treat them like an actual person, not an object, not someone they can dump their problems and take their insecurities out on. They actually seem to double take and go, "whats going on here? Why is he treating me like an actual person?"

It seems to me that some women are so familiar and comfortable with being treated badly, second hand and not equally that they run away from someone who potentially might treat them well because they don't know what to do.

Please don't misunderstand me, I know its not all women and I am so thankful that there are women who are not like that out there. They just need to speak up and show themselves a little more.

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posted July 06, 2012 10:56 PM            

"The general approach to Peach Blossom is that its an attraction star. If a person’s Ba Zi is having a peach blossom, and the peach blossom is prosperous, then the person is handsome, good looking; For a man, he has a nature of charm, kindness, enjoys social and beautiful things; For a woman, she is attractive and beautiful."
http://www.skillon.com/articlesNew.cfm/id/88
http://www.baziqueen.com/2009/08/07/the-dirty-on-peach-blossom/