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Author
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Topic: Do you hold grudges?
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T
Knowflake Posts: 6858
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2012 02:18 AM
  
quote:
To me a grudge is resentment or worse, not simply recognizing someone isn't good for you and cutting them out of your life. Heck, there are people I've cut out of my life that I sincerely wish well, I just realize we're not good for each other. Likewise, I've cut some people out of my life while the memories and feelings were still good because I knew it was only a matter of time that things would get really bad between us if I didn't and I didn't want it to end as badly as it would've if I didn't.
Exactly.  IP: Logged |
RedScorp
Knowflake Posts: 2646
From: The Capitol
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted July 31, 2012 02:30 AM
quote:
I found myself saying "totally me, wow" as I read this. Then I saw you have leo mars like me. haha
Lmao! Leo Mars rocks it,  Not crazy and over the top, but still open and excited for fun and games! IP: Logged |
Fuzzy
Knowflake Posts: 103
From: 8th house
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted July 31, 2012 10:01 AM
I don't hold grudges either, and I have Aries Mars as well. But I know I'm forgiving and understanding because of Moon square Neptune and relocated Venus 12H, that's why things like grudges don't appeal to me. I believe close Neptune aspects/12H is the source of this kind of thinking... though Aries Mars tends to get angry then calm down fast, it probably still doesn't provide that anti-grudge attitude by itself... IP: Logged |
Desiring Shadows
Moderator Posts: 1451
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted July 31, 2012 02:54 PM
Sometimes.
I'm unlike T in those posts.
Relationships are work. If theres a problem, I let the other party know.
sagittarius moon, scorpio marsIP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero
Moderator Posts: 3459
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 31, 2012 04:50 PM
I can hold a grudge, but only passively. That is, I'm not the type of person who's a tire-slashing psycho, or a stalker, or someone who will do something horrible like that to you. I won't do anything like that.For me, it's more of a feeling when I hold a grudge. It's how I feel justice for myself when I can't get it officially--it's something that I give myself when I can't get it somewhere else. The biggest thing that I do when I hold a grudge is that I withhold. When I am hurt, I refuse to give the offender eye contact, humor/things that would make a person laugh or smile, conversation, help with a task/giving of my time, invitations (and subsequently good food and a fun time), smiles, kindness, deserved praise, warmth, etc. You name it, I'll hold it hostage. If you upset me to that level, and it takes a LOT/something really big to get to that point with me, you no longer exist as far as I am concerned. That said, I can get out of the grudge state. For that to happen, though, the offender has to change his/her behavior, has to be genuinely sorry, and we have to talk it through. It has to be resolved to my satisfaction. I'm not the type to scream at someone or make a scene. I keep anger inside, though I have wondered if others can pick up on it. It can build and build. To calm myself, I use mental exercises/stress relief techniques. If I do blow up at someone, it's actually a good sign, because it means that I'm still engaging. It's when I shut down completely that I am really hurt. I have a Scorpio Venus. Mars is Capricorn. IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 66
From:
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted July 31, 2012 09:53 PM
lol, you are all saintsIP: Logged |
Padre35
Knowflake Posts: 138
From: charlotte, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
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posted July 31, 2012 10:42 PM
Nope, never do, too much work and while "you" are angry the other person is most likely to have long since forgotten about and yet..people waste their most valuable asset, time, on rehashing whatever it is over and over again.Rear view mirrors do not see the road ahead. IP: Logged |
Dreaming111
Knowflake Posts: 554
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted July 31, 2012 10:47 PM
I do, but I don't show it, nor do I go out of my way to seek revenge or anything. It's just I avoid that person or don't go out of my way to do him/her favors.Mars in Gemini. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 4691
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2012 11:09 PM
I do now.Although, I was thinking earlier on, about how I told my mother, just yesterday, that I would never forgive her for something - ever. Today, we were talking as though that never happened. My grudge-holding skills need work. Unless you really screw me over. I am adamant about not letting one go, when it comes to someone who is not only lying about something where I'm concerned (his apology was insincere, and I found that out last December, when the ongoing lie was revealed), but has come between me and a sibling. IP: Logged |
teasel
Knowflake Posts: 4691
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 31, 2012 11:11 PM
Oh, Mars in Pisces here. IP: Logged |
RedScorp
Knowflake Posts: 2646
From: The Capitol
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 01, 2012 12:05 AM
quote:
lol, you are all saints
 IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 2002
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 01, 2012 01:47 AM
I can definitely hold a grudge!!! It depends on what the person did and how close they were to me. If it's someone I'm passionate about, I will nurse that grudge for a long ass time. Grieving takes a long time for me, but perhaps that will change as I get older. Everything affects me on a deep level and is personal (well, most everything) If someone doesn't know any better (say a stranger, a customer, etc.) I don't hold a grudge. I have Taurus Moon opp. Pluto, and Mars in Gemini in the 12th.IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 66
From:
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 01, 2012 01:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by RedScorp:
yeah...tumblr has nice gifs
 ))) IP: Logged |
Thefish
Knowflake Posts: 157
From:
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted August 01, 2012 03:47 PM
Mars in Cap in the 12th says can't keep grudges until I evolve as my Mars is 3 deg 45' from the ascendant.Not that grudges are healthy but I can't seem to completely cut off unhealthy people/relationships. IP: Logged |
evander
Knowflake Posts: 170
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 01, 2012 03:57 PM
I have mars in 12th as well. Aries 10 degrees distance from the AC. I hold grudges on to things that have happened related to my 3rd house Chiron... As my progressed Mars crossed over the AC I'm much more laid back and flegmatic in most matters and regarding most people I encounter. ------------------
my chart : http://i45.tinypic.com/2vnnyx0.jpg IP: Logged |
TheManticore
Knowflake Posts: 30
From:
Registered: Aug 2012
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posted August 04, 2012 01:13 PM
I think grudges are ruled by the Moon, as they are caused by something that emotionally (moon) hurt you and then it stays in your memory (moon). Mars I think is the way that you would ACT on those grudges, the way you would "get back" at them (if you so choose) as it is your assertion/aggression style.I believe that water moons would be the most likely to hold grudges as they are sensitive and have long-lasting emotional memories. Earth moons as well, as they are kind of "stern". Fire and Air moons are less likely as either it doesn't affect them as much or they respond immediately and let it out. Also fixed signs are more likely as they tend to be more stubborn, stagnant, and unwavering. As for myself my moon is in scorpio, enough said . I am also year of the snake which tends toward revenge. BUT I have decided that avoidance is best if a resolution cannot be made, as revenge is folly. (probably cause of my 7th house stellium lol)
------------------
Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon, Aquarius ASC, Year of the Earth Snake
"The Manticore is a mythological creature that is half-lion and half-scorpion." IP: Logged |
Junethird
Knowflake Posts: 2125
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 01:19 PM
Mars in libra 5H i rarely hold grudges. if anything iam quick to let by gones be by gones as i hate tension and annimosity  IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 1736
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 02:31 PM
I think Fire Mars in general are quick to get mad, quick to get over it.I have a Sag Mars and I can't hold a grudge. I have a Libra Moon on top of that, so I'm quick to get over whatever fight happened and go straight to harmony. IP: Logged |
amowls**
Knowflake Posts: 1736
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 04, 2012 02:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by geea:
yeah...tumblr has nice gifs
)))
Careful, Daphne Groeneveld is 16. IP: Logged |
Junethird
Knowflake Posts: 2125
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 02:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amowls**:
I think Fire Mars in general are quick to get mad, quick to get over it.I have a Sag Mars and I can't hold a grudge. I have a Libra Moon on top of that, so I'm quick to get over whatever fight happened and go straight to harmony.
Really? My guy has mars in leo, moon in gemini and he holds grudges to the core. Very stubborn. IP: Logged |
geea
Knowflake Posts: 66
From:
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 04, 2012 04:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amowls**:
Careful, Daphne Groeneveld is 16.
what?? sorry but i don't understand what are you talking about o_O
who's daphne groenveld????
listen,what i said meant something else, hope at least redscorp understood! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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