posted August 05, 2012 05:49 PM            

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Originally posted by TheManticore:
I like to think of Cancers as the Lunar (positive expression) or the Crab (negative expression).

The Crab wants all of the normal cancer traits all to themselves, compassion, nurturing, comfort etc. Whereas the Lunar is fulfilled by giving those things out to others.

The Crab tries to hide its feelings, and becomes moody and clingy. Sort of "Hoarding" everything with their crab claws . Crab cancers can also be surprisingly mean as they try to pretend like they have no feeling and they close their "shell". Sometimes out to hurt others in the way they feel they have been hurt.

The Lunar on the other hand shines like a full moon, with their feelings out there for everyone to see. They cry a lot and let their feelings flow. They are the first person to come hug you and comfort you and ask you if you are ok. They will go out of their way to make sure everyone feels comfortable and loved, especially FAMILY! The Lunar lives a much harder but more fulfilling life IMO, as they confront their feelings more which is hard for Cancer to do. Being more receptive as a person also makes them more susceptible. If they can handle the ups and downs they will be more open and there will be more possibilities for positive experience.

I have met a certain amount of Crabs, and a few Lunars. I haven't dated any yet, but I would like to date a Lunar as I am quite partial to Cancers . Probably my Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon probably helps as well .

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I agree with you. I really enjoy the lunar types company.. they are my favorite types!! but the crab is my least favorite along with the scorpio crazyiness. lol.

posted August 05, 2012 05:52 PM            

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Originally posted by ueharaa:
I don't text people 10 times a day with them not answering. But it infuriates me when people never reply and just don't make an effort to get back to you and yet you see them chatting, commenting and all. It really just screams "I don't care about you" "You annoy me" It's as if they were walking all over me. [...] I find it extremely rude.

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AMEN, AMEN, AMEN.

I hate that!

I'm a Cancer moon.

I admit that I can be sensitive. I don't text/write people every day, except maybe one friend that I write almost every day/every other day, but she actually enjoys that and is as expressive as I am, so we both like it and respond to each other.

When I do write to people, though, I expect an answer within a reasonable amount of time. To me, that's a week to ten days. Maybe two weeks if busy. The only way that I'm OK with longer than that is if someone is away, has something major going on, or has had a traumatic experience. However, most of the time, a week is what I feel is reasonable and fair, give or take a few days. I try to respond within the same time frame (7-10 days, often less), and will apologize if I don't.

I don't get as upset if someone doesn't respond to anybody, but when I know that they do respond to others (and not like family/best friends/people they're super-close to, but to anybody and everybody), and not me, yeah I feel hurt! I'm even more hurt when they shove it in my face by commenting or posting other things, or else if someone else mentions getting a response from them, because then I know that they are deliberately ignoring/avoiding me.

Now, if I'm going to see the person face-to-face soon, it doesn't bug me (unless I require a response in writing, which isn't often except with people who aren't reliable or if it's something important). However, if I'm not going to see the person, or if I do need a written answer, and don't get one, I find it irritating.

I'm less upset if it's an acquaintance, but even then, I still find it hurtful. It makes me feel like I've made them uncomfortable and like they think that I'm creepy and don't want to talk to me. I'll only try to make things better for so long before I give up, stop caring, and start avoiding them back because talking to them makes me feel self-conscious.

posted August 05, 2012 05:53 PM            

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Originally posted by ail221:
I am Cancer sun, I am not clingy either. I fit more of the loner category as well, I don't even turn on my fb chat, I always appear offline. I think we need to take into consideration the difference between not only Cancer Sun and Moon signs but the expression of those signs in different genders. Men express their Cancer Sun, Moon, Asc and Venus signs much differently than Women. Also we should take into account the maturity level of Cancer placements, I think that Cancer placement men once matured can probably be some of the sweetest kind of men for some women.

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posted August 05, 2012 06:02 PM            

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Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming:
@Dreaming111 LOL!

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Haha, yeah... O

posted August 05, 2012 06:08 PM            

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Originally posted by ariesdragon:
Are u guys making fun of me cos I'm not cancer sun?

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yesh....

No I'm just kidding. I was just curious. I have sun:cancer-gemini and moon in....you guessed it--scorpio. Tan tan taaa. Yeah I guess I'm the epitome of clingyness. Actually I don't really think so. In general I don't really care about it too much until I'm like in love with someone and he acts distant. I guess that makes me go into overdrive. Though it only happened once and I hated it. I don't want that ever again.

Also the wierd things about me is I'm a walking contradiction. While a day dream about love etc, majority of the time, it's too overwhelming for me. I get claustrophobic.

Once in high school people were asked what love for them in word would translate into. People said passion, care, comfort etc. I was the only one that said smothering. lol I was serious but the class thought I was being a clown.

posted August 05, 2012 06:15 PM            

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Originally posted by ueharaa:
From what I'm reading I'm an overly emotional and clingy cancer ascendant. I guess I channel the more negative/immature cancer ascendant vibes.

I don't text people 10 times a day with them not answering. But it infuriates me when people never reply and just don't make an effort to get back to you and yet you see them chatting, commenting and all. It really just screams "I don't care about you" "You annoy me" It's as if they were walking all over me. Okay I don't get like this with acquaintance but still I find it extremely rude.
I don't consider myself outwardly clingy in that I won't harass someone with mails and phone calls and all but I guess I am clingy in that I have a hard time letting go of people emotionally.
Now for birthdays , I used to not care, but that was because I was making plenty of excuses like they don't have the time, the don't remember and all (i'm born at the end of the year during the Christmas vacation so people do have a lot on their plate already) But last year, it just hit me. Why didn't I have the right to at least be wished an "happy birthday" from very good friends of me whom I've known for years , especially when I always wish theirs !! It truly annoyed me. You don't expect everyone to wish you a happy birthday but when you've known someone for years and you see them on facebook, and it's written that it's your birthday and they don't bother, well what would you think?

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Well first I'd like to wish you a slightly early birthday. I'm the first!

So yeah, I agree with what you said. I am pretty polite nad ncie to people. I go out of my way to be make sure they feel appreciated and respected, so it does jar me when they can't reciprocate. I feel like being cold to them in return. Call it immature or whatever. I call it take of your own dang meds. That's the only way I've gotten through to people. It's honestly the most effective. People don't see what they have never experienced.

So yeah, I can ditch a person cold turkey if they "walk all over me". Playing fair, I do give people a few chances. But if I'm offended I never ever reply back. lol. I make it a ratio. Their 5 attempts gets one response from me.
If that person is polite nad nice then it's a 1:1. hehe

posted August 05, 2012 06:18 PM            

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Originally posted by awakemer:
Yeah he didn't text 10 times.. but more like 2 or 3 times. I initially said im not interested in him but he kept saying i should try him out etc etc.He seemed very immature. I wouldnt' answer to his texts and he would go on.. like "how is your day" "i'm near your house" etc and I'd just ignore..after ignoring and saying to f off nicely he would text AGAIN like nothing happened like i didn't say f off and to leave me alone.. i would get "hi how was your day?" WTF.. I told him to please stop messaging me that didn't do it. He kept saying "why do you hate me ?" I told him again im not interested and then he didn't get it. then i just blocked him. He has issues.. i think its his cancer traits mixed with some kind of mental illness. If someone says you are not interested you LET GO. I've had this happen a few times before... one was a scoprio moon.. another also watery person..I have never had this happen with someone who has either a air sun/moon or fire sun/moon. I 'm a leo sun and moon.

You sound less like a cancer and more like a leo. Leo's demand certain kind of treatment.. I'm the same way. if your my best friend you better act like one!!

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posted August 05, 2012 08:57 PM            

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Originally posted by Dreaming111:
Well first I'd like to wish you a slightly early birthday. I'm the first!

So yeah, I agree with what you said. I am pretty polite nad ncie to people. I go out of my way to be make sure they feel appreciated and respected, so it does jar me when they can't reciprocate. I feel like being cold to them in return. Call it immature or whatever. I call it take of your own dang meds. That's the only way I've gotten through to people. It's honestly the most effective. People don't see what they have never experienced.

So yeah, I can ditch a person cold turkey if they "walk all over me". Playing fair, I do give people a few chances. But if I'm offended I never ever reply back. lol. I make it a ratio. Their 5 attempts gets one response from me.
If that person is polite nad nice then it's a 1:1. hehe

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Thanks !

Yes I do the same, I wonder if it's a cancer characteristic to give people a taste of their own medicine though ! Sounds more scorpio to me

ReagardesPlatero and I can so relate to feeling self conscious when people ignore you for no reason. Somehow I try to find a reason on my own and think back on everything I said and did ...truly not a good feeling.

posted August 06, 2012 11:25 AM            

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Originally posted by awakemer:
I agree with you. I really enjoy the lunar types company.. they are my favorite types!! but the crab is my least favorite along with the scorpio crazyiness. lol.

You know OJ simpson was a cancer? and look ho whe was? he couldnt let go of Nicole.. he had to have her and he killed her because he couldn;t have her.. that is when the crab goes crazy.

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Yeah, Scorpios definitely have a dark side, I have a whole other theory on their contrast "Eagle or Scorpion" but no need to get into that now .

Good call, OJ is for sure a Crab lol

posted August 06, 2012 03:44 PM            

My Fire power totally takes over, I don't like feeling smothered or backed into a corner to reply right away, if I don't feel like it, or am busy. My past Cancerian girl friends, would actually leave me multiple voice messages, sounding hurt because of my delayed responses.

I am Fire, I am constantly on the go, and rarely sit down and call people. It is not personal at all. Eventually the complaining got on my last nerve, and I just disappeared/exited.

Currently, a different Cancerian (male) friend is upset with me. This person would vent out his marital problems to me, and I would listen best as I could despite also going through my own marital difficulties.

Well, I backed away from that as right now my focus is on trying to mend my own relationship. So this guy sends me this big telling off email last night, saying he actually had devloped feeligns for me beyond friendship, and I'm being shady by not paying attention to him. Totally weird, lol time to do the Archer disappearing act again.

posted August 08, 2012 08:21 PM            

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Originally posted by PhoenixFire:
My Fire power totally takes over, I don't like feeling smothered or backed into a corner to reply right away, if I don't feel like it, or am busy. My past Cancerian girl friends, would actually leave me multiple voice messages, sounding hurt because of my delayed responses.

I am Fire, I am constantly on the go, and rarely sit down and call people. It is not personal at all. Eventually the complaining got on my last nerve, and I just disappeared/exited.

[...]

Now, not all Cancers are notoriously needy. My spouse is a very much a Cancerian, but with a Fire Moon and outer planets. He can be pushy about getting my attention, but generally is ok with giving me my space and doing his own thing. I would hate feeling like it is my duty to constantly entertain him, and am so grateful he does not smother me.

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I'm a Cancer moon and this happens a lot with Sag-influenced people and myself, though thankfully there are exceptions. Still, I'm noticing more and more that it happens most often with Sag and Cap influenced people, mainly if those signs are in personal planets. Outer planets, haven't noticed a pattern there.

Honestly, I do find it hurtful to be avoided, because it does say a lot about what you think of a person. If you like someone, you enjoy talking to them/being around them/keeping in touch, and it's not a chore.

I do give a person a reasonable length of time to respond (a week, two if really busy). I am fair. I try not to respond to anything until someone has responded to me first. If someone has a legit situation (like someone dying or something), I am accommodating. However, some people never respond at all and I find it deeply annoying. It's like, "what did I DO, why does this person not want to talk to me?". I'll only try so long before I give up and stop speaking to someone like that. I do need my solitude, but I can't be in a friendship by myself.

Can you explain to me, though, how you would like a person but "not feel like it" ("it" meaning responding to them)? That doesn't make sense to me and I'd like some clarification, if you don't mind. I don't ask this to be insulting, but it really isn't how I operate and it's a bit foreign to me. I can understand if you've been busy, tired, don't check one account often, need to think about something more, etc., but to just not ever feel like responding to a person at all, as opposed to not that minute, is just really not something that I feel is really good for a friendship.

I don't feel like it's someone's duty to entertain me, but I also feel that it is incredibly rude to just ignore people and avoid them (and I'm talking about cases where there is not just cause for that; obviously in some cases like if you're being threatened, it IS the best thing, but I am not talking about stuff like that). It's very inconsiderate.

I have a Sag ASC myself, and I honestly enjoy conversations and communicating with people.

Also, I really don't think that it's fair to blow someone off if they really need an answer to what they wrote about; it's not fair to just leave people hanging and leave things unresolved that really need to be settled.

I would have more patience with people like that if I knew that they could keep their word, would get back to me, and weren't just blowing me off.

posted August 08, 2012 08:50 PM            

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Originally posted by Dreaming111:
I'm the same way. It annoys me. It annoys me more if I'm in a romantic r/s and the guy is online on IM and STILL doesn't respond. Ironically they get ****** when I do the same. It's like this...

Me: Hey, how was your day?
Guy: Good, what abt you?
Me: blah blah blah.
Guy: blah blah
Me: So what's up?
Guy: (30mins later.) Nm, so want to watch a movie or someting?
By this time I'm gone.
Guy: I guess you're gone, gn.

After a couple hours...
Me: Hey
Guy: Hey! I missed you.
Me: Ok. So....
Guy: So...
Me: Anyway..
Guy: Yeah?
Me: Nothing
Guy: Are you mad at me?
Me: Why did you take so long?
Guy: I did?
Me: ...

Now when I'm genuinely busy.....

Guy: Hey how was your day?
Me: Good and yours?
Guy: blah blah blah
Me: blah blah
Guy: So what's up?
(I'm busy multitasking and away for at the most 10-15 mins.)
Guy: Hello?
Guy: Are you there?
Guy: I guess you're talking to your "friends". I'll let you go then.
Me: Hey no, I was working on this and that.
Guy: Ok...Are you talking to someone? Are you talking to any guys? Why did you take so long to reply?

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posted August 09, 2012 04:27 AM            

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Originally posted by awakemer:
my experience have been with them were either good or bad. This guy i was talking to.. was so annoying~ he was would text me 10 times what i'm doing.. and then whine and complain A LL THE TIME why i do not respond to each and every text

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posted August 10, 2012 07:10 AM            

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Originally posted by Pennylane:
I dont know, im a cancer sun/sag moon/aqua rising and although i wouldnt consider myself clingy, i will say that i cant STAND flakiness. Im good about trying to rationalize/detach from taking it personally, but i really think its a terrible thing to do to waste someones time. I have a friend who i love to death, and in her defense she is a very busy person who travels constantly, but if i dont suggest we meet up, i really dont know how long it would be before she would contact me. Sometimes she cancels last minute and it realllllly bugs me. Like RAS said, if its an acquaintance, its no big deal, but since shes one of my best friends it makes me think she doesnt care about our friendship.

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I can't stand flakiness, either. It's just really inconsiderate and rude, and really dismissive of the other person.

And again, I'm not the type to call people everyday, except one friend who likes to be written to (and likes to write to people) that often. But, if I ask someone a question or need a response, I expect an answer within a reasonable amount of time. That's just common courtesy and respect. If someone can't get to something right away, or had something legitimate come up, they could just tell me that and make a plan about when to get back to me--and keep their word. If I know someone will keep their word, I don't nag and I trust them to get back, which they do. If they've proven themselves inconsistent and unreliable, though, I need things in writing to really feel like they'll get done or are settled, since they've shown me that I cannot trust their word alone. If I don't get that answer, I'll only put up with it for so long before I end up just avoiding and not speaking to that person, or take the matter to a third party if need be, which I do not like to do, but if that's what it takes to resolve things, then I have to do that.

And the thing is, some of them aren't really busy. I've had it happen with Sag-influenced people that they'll claim that, but then you find out that they've posted tons of pictures and statuses or you hear from others that they've gotten back to them. They really aren't very good liars.

I don't know why they don't understand that keeping their word and making more of an effort would probably get them the space that they want AND would get other people the resolutions/responses/answers that they want (and sometimes need). People would get off of their backs if they would be more reliable. I don't know why they don't see that. When something doesn't get done, the message is sent that it won't get done unless someone continues to stay on top of it and persist, and that is when people will either nag, issue ultimatums, or just stop dealing with a person altogether. People can't get off their backs because if they do, they're essentially enabling the person and allowing them to walk all over them. If people don't stay on them, nothing gets done. So, it just sucks for everyone. A lot of people (me included) hate to nag, but we also hate not being listened to, not being respected, and not taken seriously/not having our needs taken seriously.

I try to detach from it too, especially since other people have also complained about some of the people that I complain about, but it's still rude. And the thing is, they know that it's rude and people more aggressive than me have told them to their faces about it. They just don't care and make no effort to meet people halfway. I mean yes, I (and others) understand that stuff happens and people are busy sometimes, but to just blow people off together isn't fair. The fair thing to do would be to compromise and work out something that meets everyone's needs.

posted August 12, 2012 08:08 PM            

Anyways, when a friend calls me just to chat and Im in my reflective/recharge mode, Ill reply w a quick text, but wont be feeling like engaging in a long conversation. If the matter is urgent, that is different. Im very loyal to my friends, and will be there for them, climbing out of recharge mode if needed.

What bugs me is if a friend/ lover doesnt give me my space, and will not wait for a reply before sending a new call/text in same hour/day, for random chat. I spend lots of time w my spouse, but also want time to read a novel or browse this forum, hang out w my friends. He in turn also likes alone time to visit friends, play video games, cook.

posted August 14, 2012 12:46 AM            

My annoyance is when people bombard you with calls/texts, w/o even giving you a chance to reply. This feels rude and pushy to me, esp when its not a crisis. Example, a Virgo family member will call our house phone, if no answer, calls both our cells, if no answer repeats the process over and over again in the span of minutes until we pick up. Then we are scolded for not answering. Oh and if we dont answer because our phones are off, will have partner call/text. It drives me up the wall.

The Cancerian friends I had would do the same thing. Id come home to multiple consecutive voice messages & notice missed calls on my cell. The messages would say something like "i miss you boo, why arent you calling back?". By the time Id get through all those messages, would just feel annoyed and not feel like calling back at the moment, would call back the next day.

posted August 14, 2012 03:55 AM            

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Originally posted by PhoenixFire:
I will call or text back, the next day at the latest. Agreed it is rude to blow someone off, a quick reply is good. It is just when Im in solitude recharge mode that I will not text or call back right away, unless its urgent.

My annoyance is when people bombard you with calls/texts, w/o even giving you a chance to reply. This feels rude and pushy to me, esp when its not a crisis. Example, a Virgo family member will call our house phone, if no answer, calls both our cells, if no answer repeats the process over and over again in the span of minutes until we pick up. Then we are scolded for not answering. Oh and if we dont answer because our phones are off, will have partner call/text. It drives me up the wall.

The Cancerian friends I had would do the same thing. Id come home to multiple consecutive voice messages & notice missed calls on my cell. The messages would say something like "i miss you boo, why arent you calling back?". By the time Id get through all those messages, would just feel annoyed and not feel like calling back at the moment, would call back the next day.

Anyways I know this isnt a sun sign thing at all, just as all Sags are not detached/flaky. Lol ok I can be flaky but really try not to, and I am loyal and keep my word. Just dont like feeling pushed/smothered or guilt trips. Maybe it would be best to just answer back fast to avoid serial third degree calls & texts.

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The Sag-influenced people that I have problems with often never answer me at all. Sometimes, if they do, it's several weeks or months later.

That just makes me really mad.

I'm to the point that I don't even want to look at them, that's how mad it makes me.

I don't think that it's unreasonable to try someone's cell or another means to reach them, but I do wait to hear from someone. And wait. And wait.

I usually try to reach people by email, and in the case of these particular Sag-influenced people, their word is unreliable and they've gone back on their word several times, so I cannot trust them to keep their word unless and until it is put into writing and made official. Phone calls and conversations don't work because if I don't have it down on paper, set in stone, I cannot trust them to do as they say they will do. I need it in writing, in ink, signed, sealed, delivered. I'm not like this with everybody, only those who are unreliable.

I find it so disrespectful.

I expect responses when I communicate, especially when not having an answer holds me up and makes other people mad at me. If I need to get back to someone, and I can't because I don't have an answer from someone else, I get really upset and stressed, especially when the person to whom I need to respond has to wait and gets upset with me. It creates a lot of tension. It's not only unfair to me, but it's also unfair to the person who requires a response from me.

If you are really busy, you could put up an away message or change your voicemail to indicate that you are busy and will get back by ____ (insert date).

At this point, I am very seriously leaning towards just giving them the full-scale silent treatment.

[edit because I was feeling super-intense and emotional]

In all honesty, there are a lot of things that I do like about such people, but I can't stand being treated like that, and I hate how it makes me feel.