posted September 25, 2012 06:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TheManticore:
@RegardesPlatero

To your 1st response...

I don't feel attacked, I was genuinely teasing . I actually find it interesting how prodding your mind is.

Well of course I would not mind having more friends , it is just not a priority at the moment. I am not actively searching for more is what I mean.

Hmmm, I am not sure how to describe the "void" feeling. Emptiness is a close description. If only I could "lend" you my four planets in the 7th house and my Leo sun and Scorpio moon for a little while lol

I do agree most guys are not open with their feelings. I think I surprisingly am especially considering I have a Scorpio moon lol. Although it has taken a lot of death/rebirth cycles to reach this point.

"what is it like emotionally for guys when they really like someone that way?"

^^^For me personally, it is an overwhelming tidal wave. I can't stop thinking about them, and I obsess about it constantly. Is that embarrassingly honest enough? lol

"And why is it hard when someone isn't interested?"

^^^Pride. It hurts my confidence and my ego, not to mention I am all to aware of the incoming feeling of loneliness which follows.

"I mean I could see it being hard at first, and needing time, but do you ever kind of get over it? "

^^^I do, but it takes a long time. I usually don't want to look at them or hear their name for at least a couple months afterward lol.

"Also, does it make a difference if she doesn't want to be with anyone vs. if she's lesbian/bi but interested in a girl vs. if she is interested in another guy?"

^^^Gender makes no difference to me, if she likes someone else, she likes someone else. If she said she didn't want to be with anyone that would probably be less painful yes, but at the same time I would just think she is lying to let me down gently because if the right person came along I think she would.

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Personally, if I said that I didn't want to date anyone, I wouldn't be lying. I personally would be honest on that issue if it was someone I knew and trusted. The only time I would like is if it was some stranger, which creeps me out big-time, or if I otherwise felt frightened or threatened. Then, I have a little grab-bag of things I say to get someone away from me. I can't speak for every woman out there, but I myself would be honest if I cared about the person and they didn't make me feel unsafe or like I was in danger. My safety comes first, though, so if I do feel afraid, then yeah, I'll say/do whatever is necessary to protect myself.

Letting men down gently sometimes makes them see things like a "challenge", and sometimes they come back, so I personally am firm but not mean (unless I have to be). I honestly don't like to be mean, but, at the same time, I also expect to be taken seriously if I say "back off", and I really do mean it when I say "no". It's not an invitation for someone to persist. So, I do try to be very assertive and no-nonsense, not allowing any leeway on that "no". However, not wanting to end up in a bad situation, I also try not to go too far with being mean unless it's necessary.

Basically, how I say no depends on the person and the situation.

posted September 25, 2012 06:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TheManticore:
@RegardesPlatero

To your 2nd response...

What I meant was flirting/hitting on you gestures, as in things you would not do towards a sister/brother . Those are the things I would stop doing.

When I do things towards someone I do genuinely want to do them, whether romantic or not, it is sincere at the time when it is done. Everyone does everything for some kind of personal return, whether it be from another or internally like a good feeling inside. Even with your friends or day to day random people you encounter, when you are nice to them you expect kindness in return or thanks. Expectation of some kind of "reward" is always there imo, just the size and significance/type of the reward is what changes.

I know that you are not directly saying it is me that does all those things, but since you are going off of my statements... I would just like to say that my actions are in no way motivated by the intents and purposes you stated above.

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posted September 25, 2012 06:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sand:
i remember when i was dating my first cancer i kissed another girl in front of her. ugh! probably how NOT to win a cancer woman's trust.

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>:-(

Yeah, I'd say that's probably not a good way to gain any woman's trust. Dating Etiquette 101 lol.

posted September 25, 2012 07:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ail221:
[...]

"[...]they are moody by nature. Though it may sound like they are upset with you, they are simply venting in general. They are sensitive but not only with themselves but to those around them.

Some would rather not put the work in and that is fine with them. They are one of those signs that doesn’t need, they have to want.

[...] If she is in no mood to date, you won’t get to even knock on her door.

[...] If you are less than that [forthcoming] and she finds out, you are cut off completely and irrevocably.[...]

They like parameters and would rather not have them changed without being mutually agreed upon. [...]

She will have no problem leaving you behind. [...]

She wants to be adored, loved and cared for. [...]

Cancer women are about the thought behind the action rather than the action itself. You happen to have purchased a silver bracelet with moons on because she mentioned her natural affinity towards the celestial object. You have shown her you paid attention to what she says. [...]

[...]

you will see why those walls were up in the first place. Those who have taken advantage of her have scarred her deeply. The wounds may heal but with a Cancer but those scars never fade. This is why it is important to understand her.

It sometimes seems as if she is making you pay for someone else’s indiscretions but that isn’t the case. [b]She has it in her head that the only person who will protect her is herself.

[...] She continues to move forward[...]

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posted September 25, 2012 07:24 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TheManticore:
@Ariehnox

I would like to point out that it is not like I am PURPOSELY choosing to only like them romantically, it just happens that way. It would be dishonest of me to pretend like being just friends would be ok with me when the feelings are already established. Also, I consider friendship as being part of love and a relationship so it's not like I am NOT friends with whoever I am with.

As far as the "flipping the switch", I have done that and let me explain. I see caring gestures as a showing of interest romantically, so when they say they are not interested in that way there is no longer a point in continuing that behavior. It would just make them uncomfortable and the pursuer would be wasting their time.

Silent persistence, great description of what I need to do. But it is hard for me as a Leo to be silent lol

"Try noticing little stuff about her, and break the ice from there!"

^^^Great idea!

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Oh hey, no worries! I was trying to be general, and I understand that things are viewed differently by everybody. It's just a Cancerian point of view that I'd like to get across. We do like men who play for keeps.

Also, by 'caring gestures', I meant platonically. I understand that men do stop with the court-like gestures if they realize there's no point in it. I'd very much like to keep the friendship if a person and I had spent significant time together. that's what has gotten me disappointed with my ex, it wasn't a bad breakup (far from it), though it's as if we were strangers immediately after it. What's funny is that he's a Cancer. *shrug* Nothing I could do about that, it was a long time ago.

lol a Leo's dillema. Just be there for her, make her laugh! She'll warm up to you in no time. ♥ Good luck bud!

posted September 25, 2012 11:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Personally, if I said that I didn't want to date anyone, I wouldn't be lying. I personally would be honest on that issue if it was someone I knew and trusted. The only time I would like is if it was some stranger, which creeps me out big-time, or if I otherwise felt frightened or threatened. Then, I have a little grab-bag of things I say to get someone away from me. I can't speak for every woman out there, but I myself would be honest if I cared about the person and they didn't make me feel unsafe or like I was in danger. My safety comes first, though, so if I do feel afraid, then yeah, I'll say/do whatever is necessary to protect myself.

Letting men down gently sometimes makes them see things like a "challenge", and sometimes they come back, so I personally am firm but not mean (unless I have to be). I honestly don't like to be mean, but, at the same time, I also expect to be taken seriously if I say "back off", and I really do mean it when I say "no". It's not an invitation for someone to persist. So, I do try to be very assertive and no-nonsense, not allowing any leeway on that "no". However, not wanting to end up in a bad situation, I also try not to go too far with being mean unless it's necessary.

Basically, how I say no depends on the person and the situation.

So far, I've only had people have teenage infatuations with me, and I've only been hit on (plus assaulted--not violent, but coerced touching after I said no and while I was trying to get out of it--and also harassed; also get street harassed on a regular basis). I've never had anyone actually in love with me--REAL love, as I define it.

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Everything you said makes perfect sense imo . I am sorry that has happened to you . If it makes you feel any better I am quite impressed with your intelligence and your character, and I think you deserve love should you find it

posted September 25, 2012 11:50 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
Thank you for clarifying that. I appreciate it!

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No problem

posted September 25, 2012 11:51 AM            

How informative! Thank you so much for posting that

posted September 25, 2012 06:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TheManticore:

Everything you said makes perfect sense imo . I am sorry that has happened to you . If it makes you feel any better I am quite impressed with your intelligence and your character, and I think you deserve love should you find it

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awww thank you

not interested in dating anyone and am content to be single, but nonetheless I appreciate that all the same and the spirit behind it