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Author Topic:   Virgo advice please?
seeker3030
Knowflake

Posts: 621
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2009

posted October 16, 2012 04:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello Virgos
I just need to ask your honest advice. I realise of course that everyone is individual and therefore this is all very much 'in theory' but any guidance or insight would be much appreciated.

I've been involved with a Virgo man for about 3 months and at first he was contacting me every day. Things have become more intimate and at the same time his work has suddenly meant that he's had to travel around and spend weeks away. During this time his contact has completely dwindled. He apologised and told me that he tends to get introverted when busy or tired and I understand that.

The last time we 'spoke' (email) was last Thursday and his parting shot was "perhaps we can chat over the weekend." I knew he was going to spend the weekend with his kids who he hasn't seen for a while due to all the travelling so I left him alone so as not to interrupt. He didn't contact me.

It's now the day before I know he's going to Germany for a conference for a few days and when he gets back he'll be taking his kids away for their school holiday.

My question is... should I assume that this silent treatment is his way of telling me he's no longer interested or should I simply wait and see? I do feel annoyed if I'm honest because to me, keeping someone waiting in silence is just plain rude and thoughtless. But I appreciate that people have very different perceptions of what's acceptable and maybe he doesn't see it as rude.

HELP!?

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Gabby
Knowflake

Posts: 996
From:
Registered: Sep 2012

posted October 16, 2012 04:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gabby     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, im not a virgo sun, im a virgo moon. I do tend to get overwhelmed easily and giving to my partner is what recharges my batteries! During high stress and separation from someone that i don't have a commitment i do tend to let relationships go. Its like i need to feel that i am are a necessary part of their life in order to hang on during stressful times with periods of not seeing each other.

For me, since virgo is more of a doer for others, and thats how we get self esteem in relationships, separation with no way to physically be there to take care of you leaves me feeling very alone and like i have no purpose to you, i'm a nobody to you to you...it hurts and so i can just quietly fade away at times within the relationship.

Hes not meaning to be rude, hes just feeling like he has no real purpose to you, and feeling just kind of blaaa and maybe a bit numb, hes escaping into himself...

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seeker3030
Knowflake

Posts: 621
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2009

posted October 16, 2012 04:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so much for that Gabby, that's really helped to see a different side of it! I hadn't thought about the 'service to others' side of things and yet that's a huge part of the Virgo energy so it's no doubt a large factor. The irony is, I suppose the perfect service to do whilst away is to keep in contact But that's only me speaking personally of course. Others might feel differently.

I just really don't know whether to wait or to assume it's over and done with. Awkward!

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Swift Freeze
Knowflake

Posts: 157
From: One World
Registered: Nov 2009

posted October 16, 2012 09:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swift Freeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I would like to add that what Gabby posted is true of me, Virgo Sun, and Gemini Moon. Long periods of separation I find very difficult and I do sometimes struggle with feeling important, wanted, or needed in my partner's life. I start to feel alone and I can tend to fade away, whether it is just some mechanism to help cope with the sense of loss and hurt I don't know. What I do know is that it definitely does not help and I do everything I can to get around it. I know I am not the most likely to initiate contact out of people so I try extra hard to stick around rather than letting myself fade away.

The only advice I can offer, is to just let him know you're still around and that he is a part of your life. Sometimes it may be difficult but if you truly do want him to be a part of your life, let him know that and make time for him or get him to make time for you, even if it is only 5 minutes. That 5 minutes can be so huge I can't even describe.

------------------
Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams.

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sweet-scorpion
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Posts: 991
From: PA, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted October 16, 2012 10:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a Virgo Moon and quite Lunar.

Just like Gabby said, sometimes when I'm emotionally overwhelmed and stressed with things like work, school and academia I really tend to forget about being emotionally sensitive, emotionally aware and able to contact + keep in touch with distant friends and even my BF. Scorp Venus makes me a bit more concerned with loyalty and closeness with helps but still... I'm really on and off with it.

So the weakness of the Virgo Sun and/or Moon is that stress and an over concern with work and especially the day to day can accidentally stress you to the point of letting personal relationships go. It isn't purposeful but a weakness of Virgo dominants is, you become emotionally or distant at the core due to other things on your mind. Honestly I wouldn't take it personally at all. He probably is just very concerned with important personal projects, and the overwhelming details are sapping up his energies, which Virgos tend to allow. So reach out in a very affectionate but genuine, soothing way - like, How is everything going for you lately? Any stress, anything new come up? - and he'll probably appreciate that concern with his mundane activities and little things that may be bothering him.

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seeker3030
Knowflake

Posts: 621
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2009

posted October 17, 2012 06:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
The only advice I can offer, is to just let him know you're still around and that he is a part of your life. Sometimes it may be difficult but if you truly do want him to be a part of your life, let him know that and make time for him or get him to make time for you, even if it is only 5 minutes. That 5 minutes can be so huge I can't even describe.

Oh Swift Freeze thank you for that!! It breaks my heart to think of him and all of you who share this facet feeling that you're not important or part of the lives of those you love when you can't be with them. To be on the receiving end of the 'silence' feels as though we're the last thing on your list (and it's such a loooooong list haha!) but this has really helped to see that he probably fences himself off in an effort to buffer himself against hurt in many ways. I keep sending him messages but thanks to his deafening overall silence I feel I'm bothering him and tend to step back so as not to get in his way. I'll keep on periodically sending them through though, just to let him know I'm thinking of him.

And Sweet Scorpion thank you too! That sounds so like him, plus I discovered last night he's been ill in bed with the flu so no wonder he's not been very communicative! He's a Scorp Venus too funnily enough (and so am I) and I can see that loyalty in him but I think he just gets so focussed on work/stressed that he gets blinded to all else. Wonderful advice again about reaching out to him which I'll keep trying

Thank you all so much!

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Karmic Soul
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Posts: 32
From:
Registered: Aug 2012

posted November 08, 2012 01:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Karmic Soul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Seeker,

I'm a bit late to this party, but I just wanted to second what sweet-scorpion & Swift Freeze said. I have Virgo Sun and Virgo Rising,and, at times unfortunately, most of their descriptions describe me.

When I'm wrapped up in the details of my own world, stresses, and such, I tend to withdraw, and mostly unaware of it at the time it's happening. Frankly, I don't think I could describe it any better (right now) than how SS & SF said it.

- KS

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indigomoon8
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Posts: 62
From: chicago
Registered: Sep 2012

posted November 08, 2012 02:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for indigomoon8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a Virgo Sun Gemini Moon, as I can remember when I talked to guys an was busy it wasnt personal I just didn't have the time...but I would come around eventually...sometimes Virgos need a litle reminder to pay attention..normally if i really liked a person id find a way..maybe you should just tell him how you feel and if things dont change its time to move on..Virgos really hurt loved ones more than they imagine by going MIA and dont realize it i myself am guilty of it..

goodluck

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hippichick
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Posts: 1949
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted November 08, 2012 09:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lady, I am going to reign myself here and not be too negative.

Just broke up with a very Virgo man, after nearly 2 years.

And I agree with all of the above about Virgos, but point blank, VIrgos need to step outside of themselves sometimes and realize there is another in the parntership.

I think they sometimes have it hard with empathy. Sometimes they feel so cold..so overly grounded.

Not only was my former bfriend

(my god I am talking crap about him and he has not deleted me off skype yet and his name pops up...weird..2nd time this has happened..)

Anyway, not only is he a VERY Virgo, but for the 50 years of my life, my mother is one as well.

She, now at 76 has finally realized there is more in the world than she. Occasionally, like maybe every few months she will ask how I am.

I just got used to her being she.

Girl you can look to The Zodiac all you want, and it is a very useful tool, but IF a man is not paying you respect, especially IF it is quesitioning in your head, it is a red flag. Please guard your heart.

Virgo women, which are posting here, I assume, are much more "soft" than Virgo men...in my experience, just sayin.

blessins!!!

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hippichick
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Posts: 1949
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted November 08, 2012 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by indigomoon8:
I'm a Virgo Sun Gemini Moon, as I can remember when I talked to guys an was busy it wasnt personal I just didn't have the time...but I would come around eventually...sometimes Virgos need a litle reminder to pay attention..normally if i really liked a person id find a way..maybe you should just tell him how you feel and if things dont change its time to move on..Virgos really hurt loved ones more than they imagine by going MIA and dont realize it i myself am guilty of it..

goodluck


Great statement!

Funny, but I tried, for years with my mother, sublty cause I think Virgos get their feelings hurt easliy, and my Virgo former man, to tell them they HURT me with their aloof coldness, their whining and their might is right, no bend or twisting for another.

My Virgo mom never got it, Virgo man would switch things and make them my bad. In the end I would be so confused and emotionally beaten down I would just give up and make it my bad!

sigh....

t~

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Desiring Shadows
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Posts: 1706
From: UNITED STATES, BABY
Registered: Jan 2012

posted November 08, 2012 10:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Desiring Shadows
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From: UNITED STATES, BABY
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posted November 08, 2012 10:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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indigomoon8
Knowflake

Posts: 62
From: chicago
Registered: Sep 2012

posted November 08, 2012 11:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for indigomoon8     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hippichick:
Great statement!

Funny, but I tried, for years with my mother, sublty cause I think Virgos get their feelings hurt easliy, and my Virgo former man, to tell them they HURT me with their aloof coldness, their whining and their might is right, no bend or twisting for another.

My Virgo mom never got it, Virgo man would switch things and make them my bad. In the end I would be so confused and emotionally beaten down I would just give up and make it my bad!

sigh....

t~


I'm sorry to hear that...Virgos do have a way of making you feel wrong even when you are right..I've been hurt years ago from a Virgo lover up and going MIA on me. Your a pisces aren't you. Almost all of my X Bfs are pisces...funny because my 7th house is in pisces. I found myself hurting their feelings alot my with cold ness each and every one. Pisces are really sensitive I think for Pisces to be successful with Virgo it's better when they have another sign that's stronger or more aloof to calm their emotions. Like Aquarius Moon or Leo Moon. My cousin is a pisces and has been getting hurt by a Virgo man over and over for 4 years..he never took what they had to the next level. He's always the one to cut her off and she either stalks him or waits. Never fails. To me pisces find good love with charming libras..and sensual taurus.that venusian energy is really drugging for pisces.

Back to the Point
Like stated before I'm a Virgo Sun Gemini Moon Virgo Asc Virgo Mercury...so i'm suppose to be the master of cold lol. Ill admit to being that way too, I've never looked back on an x. They all come back and I hurt their feelings or treat them invisible.

My Dominant Neptune Softens me, but it takes the right person. Scorpios, whom I ALWAYS become best friends with are the only ones who can see my soul..sometimes Capricorns. But I never date them. I always date Air or Fire...my current boyfriend is a Gemini and I'm always emotional with him lol..fight cold with cold..his emotions are EVERYWHERE tax on 1000points for already being a Gemini, then Cancer moon tax on another 1000 points lol moody and leo asc..this boy is so contradicting it's ridiculous. He has no stability in his chart.

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hippichick
Moderator

Posts: 1949
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted November 08, 2012 12:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
indigomoon

thank you...

Yes I am a Pisces, a very Aquarian-coloured Pisces...and he a VERY Virgo..

sigh..

still love the guy, but I just cant~

blessins to you!

t~~~

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