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Author Topic:   what aspects make people hold on to a relationship?
lovehate122
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posted October 31, 2012 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lovehate122     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know ..when you break up with someone and your over it and their not .
could it involve saturn . and id imagine the saturn person is the one that can't let it go right?

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Lioness
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posted October 31, 2012 06:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I say Pluto relationships, with some saturn aspects.

Pluto never wants to stop,.saturn just feels obligated.

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scrappydog
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posted October 31, 2012 06:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for scrappydog     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
2nd pluto relationships. With saturn there is some obligation and duty, but nothing like the blind obsession of a plutonian relationship. You often cant tell if it will be the pluto person or the inner planet person either, it can be wierd and reverse like that. But if both plutos are involved heavily or pluto and saturn...watch out.

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Lioness
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posted October 31, 2012 07:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by scrappydog:
2nd pluto relationships. With saturn there is some obligation and duty, but nothing like the blind obsession of a plutonian relationship. You often cant tell if it will be the pluto person or the inner planet person either, it can be wierd and reverse like that. But if both plutos are involved heavily or pluto and saturn...watch out.

YEAP...
I agree...
Heavy pluto mixed with some saturn is just about impossible to break away from..


I think its easier to pull away from Saturn, once it plays out...
Once the relationship plays out.. The obligation is just gone.
imo... thats just me

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quinnlycanastro
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posted October 31, 2012 07:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for quinnlycanastro     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Most of my heavy relationships involve Saturn and Pluto, I don't think I'd commit for anything else. I'm too unstable to get involved without something weighty on the aspect front.

Pluto doesn't make you hold on to anything real, what I mean by this is that it doesn't have to be a full blown love. Pluto will hold on to the "idea" of something whereas Saturn will generally only stick around if it's a REAL relationship.

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lovehate122
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posted October 31, 2012 07:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lovehate122     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
so if pluto and saturn mix its doomed!

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Lioness
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posted October 31, 2012 08:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wouldnt say doomed...

Just it would be hard to let go, if it comes to that.
It can be very binding..

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sweet-scorpion
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posted October 31, 2012 08:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Saturn in Pisces falls in my current BF's 7th house and also opposes his Venus-Mercury conjunction by only 2 degrees.

I feel like it's been extremely hard to break up with him even when I get the urge to do so. I always want to help him, and feel like his Neptune square my Sun and my Pluto EXACTLY conjunct his Moon makes it all the more binding, co-dependent and very involved... beyond being able to do a text message break up or something straightforward like 'We've just grown apart'. It's like we're attached to each other like glue, and when I try to break it off heartlessly in my eyes, I feel an overwhelming guilt...

Another interesting thing: our composite also has a 2nd house Pluto. So maybe that, according to what you've all said here, could also play a role?

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StacyLewis
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posted October 31, 2012 10:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StacyLewis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by quinnlycanastro:

Pluto doesn't make you hold on to anything real


That sounds more like Neptune than Pluto.

But, yeah - Pluto will make people stick to one another, so will Saturn, only for different reasons.

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Desiring Shadows
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posted October 31, 2012 10:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Desiring Shadows     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Retrograde planets, Saturn or pluto maybe

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starfairy
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posted November 01, 2012 12:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starfairy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
South Node connections. They stay with you for a long time. I agree about Saturn. Pluto, too.

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starfairy
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posted November 01, 2012 12:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starfairy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know a lot of ppl who can't get over relationships in which there were many Uranus aspects (their ex's Uranus aspecting their planets, I mean). They can't seem to stop thinking about what went wrong.

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Kalani71
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posted November 01, 2012 01:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kalani71     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Pluto yeah, I see that as far as obsession. But with regard to Saturn and duty/obligation, I don't see Saturn contributing to "making" someone stick around or carry a torch if the cold, hard reality is that it's a bad idea. Might that be more Neptune's territory, if Neptune is being experienced as self-deception? If anything, Saturn would highlight the cold, hard reality that the other person has moved on, why the relationship isn't really tenable, etc., or something like that. IME, Neptune and self-deception is the culprit when it comes to pining away or trying to make it work when it's not based in reality or a bad idea for whatever reason. That seems so much more Neptunian to me. Well, an afflicted Neptune, anyway, either by transit, in synastry or composite, or in the natal somewhere.

Duty and obligation a la Saturn in relationships, I think means something more like sticking it out when times are tough (which isn't the same thing as pining away after someone), remaining faithful in the face of temptation, putting in the work to make it work, etc. Duty and obligation re Saturn are far, far different things in a relationship than pining away for someone or trying to make something work for reasons that aren't based in reality.

That's just what I've observed based on my own experiences and some of the relationships I've observed. Of course, Saturn is going to be experienced differently according to an individual's chart and the aspects it makes. And of course, I'd guess it's also how Saturn is involved in the composite or in synastry.

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Doux Rêve
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posted November 01, 2012 02:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux Rêve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
what aspects make people hold on to a relationship?


Hard Saturn, Pluto, Nodes aspects to the other person's planets, in my experience.


Angle connections are binding also.
Angle to angle, or angle to planet are often found in significant relationships.

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lovehate122
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posted November 01, 2012 07:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lovehate122     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
so in relationships where you break up and one person is over it and the other one isn't would that person be the saturn person .

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quinnlycanastro
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posted November 01, 2012 09:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for quinnlycanastro     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by StacyLewis:
That sounds more like Neptune than Pluto.

But, yeah - Pluto will make people stick to one another, so will Saturn, only for different reasons.


Pluto is the classic stalker ~ obsession doesn't have to be based in reality. Plutonian desire is just different to Neptunian longing.

Neptune will play the martyr, which Pluto would never do, but Pluto will "prove" its love with unrelenting loyalty to the desired object.

@Starfairy ~ did they have Sat or Nep strong in their natals? As someone with a natal Moon opp Uranus, I've left a few wondering what went wrong... some people can't handle the abruptness of separation, it's foreign to them. [or maybe just alien lol]

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Gemmy
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posted November 01, 2012 10:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemmy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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hippichick
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posted November 01, 2012 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yea, in my ever growing list of failed relationships cause I am always attracted to the psychos (working on that) I had a stalker, posted alot about him on here years ago...

Shoot, he probably still stalks me TEN years later (he lives down the street)

Our Scorpio risings were the same degree, so his crazy stellium of his Cancer sun, Mars and Venus in his 8th, fell into my 8th too....talk about obsession.

I might add that Pisces ladies tend to hang on too long...like WAY too long. I have read and heard this about Fish ladies and I have lived it.

t~

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Aquacheeka
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posted November 01, 2012 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't know... this is one of those situations where I feel conflicted, unsure of whether to call it biology or astrology. I recently cut off all communication with my ex save for the occasional email for a period of one year at least in order to be fair to my new boyfriend/budding relationship, as we had some unresolved feelings/jealousy issues that were cropping up and it got to the point where we were discussing getting back together which is a VERY BAD IDEA. I do believe that we can be good friends again one day... just not yet.

On the one hand, I miss my ex so much sometimes that I feel like I can't breathe. I had to block him from Facebook to prevent myself from obsessively checking his profile; do I liken that to our Saturn conjunct south node past life karma - the "unbreakable bond?" Saturn in the 7th?

But on the other hand, it was an almost three-year long relationship and during that time we shared so much history, we lived together, naturally he became my best friend. And I'm well aware that humans evolved to form deep attachments to people and that breakups can culminate in a very real physical withdrawal. So on the other hand, I think everyone experiences this, Saturn/Pluto contacts or not.

I just don't know on this one.

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Aquacheeka
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posted November 01, 2012 05:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One thing I know: I wish there was a 12-step program for people withdrawing from bad relationships.

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hippichick
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posted November 01, 2012 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
One thing I know: I wish there was a 12-step program for people withdrawing from bad relationships.


OMG~

yea


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inthemisosoup
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posted November 02, 2012 01:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for inthemisosoup     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aquacheeka:
One thing I know: I wish there was a 12-step program for people withdrawing from bad relationships.

there are codependent recovery programs. in regards to substance abuse and relationships, btw. i'm positive aa has them. i've gone to them before and i'm not an alcoholic by any means. there's loads of 'em.

in regards to the op's question, i'd concur and say outer planet and angle contacts, particularly saturn, pluto, asc/dsc. at least with me.

two of my exes, one of them we still talk and see each other occasionaly (with the knowledge and consent of my current SO, nothing has happened since long before getting into my current relationship), he is imposssssible to let go of completely bc we have so much karma between us. ASC/DSC oppositions, chart rulers conjunct dsc rulers DW, his mars on my ASC, his venus square my venus/pluto for example.

the other ex was strong saturn contacts. we no longer speak but it was so hard and painful to let go.

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GirlinSeattle
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posted November 02, 2012 01:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GirlinSeattle     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm in this type of situation now, where I am 100% over this person yet he wants to maintain a friendship, in touch, yada yada. For me, when I am over someone, I don't want further contact but I can't seem to pry this one off my back. So, this may highly depend on the individual and the aspects he/she may have that might make it hard for them to let go.

Some of our aspects that stand out:
Saturn conjunct SN
Neptune conjunct SN
12th house aspects
Venus square Saturn
Tons of Chiron aspects

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