posted January 22, 2013 02:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bridgetostars23:
Yeah. I know what you mean...if he had given in to my "I'm just one of the guys/give me a massage game" I think I used to kind of play...we would not be good friends right now.

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posted January 22, 2013 02:36 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by bridgetostars23:
[b] Yeah. I know what you mean...if he had given in to my "I'm just one of the guys/give me a massage game" I think I used to kind of play...we would not be good friends right now.

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posted January 22, 2013 03:44 AM            

My observations of the gay community back this guess of mine as plenty of gays & lesbians seem just fine as friends with their own gender without any real sexual interest, even the guys always looking up to hook up with some piece of meat on Grindr who nevertheless can be friends with other guys that they don't "see that way," because they learned how to be friends with guys rather than just looking at them in primarily sexual terms the way many heterosexuals have done with the other gender. And many of the bisexuals I can think of offhand often had problems "just being friends" with the opposite gender but not their own as well, and that also makes me think I'm right. So I do believe that the men & women who "can't be friends" simply never learned HOW to be (unlike gays and unlike myself), and thus find it difficult to look at the other gender as anything else.

But if I were to guess an astrological placement for why I'm able to be friends with guys without longing for them then I'd guess that would be my Third House placements (Libra, for me, which includes my Sun) as they deal with casual social interaction, and guys & gals that I form a strictly platonic relationship with are something of an "adopted neighborhood" for me (who grew up moving around a lot). Saturn in that house can keep me loyal, too. And given that the Third House is Gemini mixed in that Libra loves mental stimulation I can appreciate others for their thoughts and thus have more interest in guys than what's between their legs. When I look at men I see people (with thoughts & experiences & something worth saying being my primary interest), not penises. Of course that aspect CAN intrigue me as a secondary interest as well (just as those whose default inclination is to see men as a penis candidate might also be interested in his mind & being as well, but that's secondary which makes platonic relationships unlikely at best, that is the opposite of my priorities), but not necessarily so (and more often than not it doesn't).

posted January 22, 2013 05:25 AM            

To top it off in synastry his venus is conjunct my NN and his mars is square my venus :l

posted January 22, 2013 09:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
^ well why do you hang out with the guy if you know that? why dont you like him? is it a personality or looks thing?

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posted January 22, 2013 10:52 AM            

Once in a blue moon, I would get like a momentary feeling of, "Could this go further?" But for the vast majority of the time, it really was platonic. I'm almost positive the feeling was mutual.

One of the guys, his sun is conjunct my Mars in Gemini. He brought his wife to my wedding. Another guy is Sag-Cap Cusp, conjunct my Vertex...but no chemistry there. We were close friends, talking on the phone a lot, hanging out on weekends, but with him it was a brother-sister kind of rapport.

posted January 22, 2013 11:32 AM            

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I don't hang out with him. I ignore him but if he texts me then I respond cordially. It's not like I flirt with him.

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posted January 22, 2013 11:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
oh the way you talked he sounded like a close friend. let me guess , he is the guy you text when you are bored,.lol am i right?

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posted January 22, 2013 12:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
We are/were close! Before he started crushing on me we used to talk on the phone like teen girls all the time. I will rarely text him but he's sweet so I don't want to completely hurt his feelings by being blunt like I normally am. In any case it's more like he dates/talks to girls but I'm the one he really cares about.

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posted January 22, 2013 01:29 PM            

3rd House Aqua Moon, perhaps also influenced by my 1st House Uranus in a close trine with my Sun.

posted January 22, 2013 03:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoursTrulyAlways:
I have lots of platonic female friends. Lots. I don't see what the big deal is.

On the other hand, I'm not sure I have any real male friends..... sad lol

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I could say the exact same thing, using opposite sexes...

posted January 22, 2013 03:13 PM            

Leo/Cancer Moon/Leo Rising
Leo Venus, Taurus Mars

And

Cancer/Aries Moon/Scorpio Rising
Gemini Venus, Pisces Mars

My exbf from 8 years ago who I am now good friends with is
Leo Sun/Leo Moon/Pisces Rising
Leo Venus, Virgo Mars

^^ they all actually have the same first name

posted January 22, 2013 03:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by peachbeigeblue:
^^ they all actually have the same first name

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peachbeigeblue,

posted January 22, 2013 05:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by downtomars:
peachbeigeblue,

Sorry to go off topic, but have you plugged the name asteroid into your natal chart? I have noticed some interesting stuff by doing that...

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posted January 22, 2013 05:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
I would love to have more platonic friendships, just being friends with guys. But a lot about me seems to just send some guys wanting more than friendship or, a lot of guys my own age just stay away from me like I am an Ice Queen or something. LOL... I just am not well-recieved by younger guys. I have a really mature air and an intense look and I think it freaks them out. Maybe it's from my Saturn-ASC and Mars in the 8th. IDK. Just seems like it's all or nothing when it comes to men for me. And I HATE that.

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posted January 22, 2013 11:26 PM            

quote:

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I believe I learned to think of guys with more possibility than as someone to ram his spear into me because I spent so much time in platonic relationship with boys growing up... So I do believe that the men & women who "can't be friends" simply never learned HOW to be (unlike gays and unlike myself), and thus find it difficult to look at the other gender as anything else.

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I TOTALLY agree with you. I am straight, but I grew up a tom boy, mostly because the only other kids to play with on my street were boys. I have always had platonic male friendships from the time that I was a kid. It has always baffled me that some straight women and men have so many issues with being friends with the opposite sex. And you're also right, I think- the gay community doesn't have nearly the same amount of issues with it (I've had a lot of gay friends too).

True, there have been times when I wished that SOME of my friendships were more than platonic, but that by far is not the majority of them. I can reliably say that there are some male friends who I don't feel that way for and who don't feel that way for me. It's kind of nice actually. Takes off a lot of pressure to be something you aren't, and you can focus on similarities in other ways.

posted January 22, 2013 11:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by enchantress299:
I TOTALLY agree with you. I am straight, but I grew up a tom boy, mostly because the only other kids to play with on my street were boys. I have always had platonic male friendships from the time that I was a kid. It has always baffled me that some straight women and men have so many issues with being friends with the opposite sex. And you're also right, I think- the gay community doesn't have nearly the same amount of issues with it (I've had a lot of gay friends too).

True, there have been times when I wished that SOME of my friendships were more than platonic, but that by far is not the majority of them. I can reliably say that there are some male friends who I don't feel that way for and who don't feel that way for me. It's kind of nice actually. Takes off a lot of pressure to be something you aren't, and you can focus on similarities in other ways.

In my opinion, it's degrading to both men and women to say that: "Oh, well men/women are just wired this way and have absolutely no control over their hormones/genitals/actions/thoughts and they will ALWAYS fall in love if they are in any sort of relationship to each other." There is biology, but there is also still CHOICE. It's like saying that a guy cheated just because a girl in a short skirt walked by and it was his BIOLOGY. It's a lie and a half. There is always choice. Biology is looking; choice is remaining faithful to your partner. Biology is having an initial attraction to an attractive opposite sex friend; choice happens when you either choose to stay fixed in your feelings and start fixating on that attractive friend hoping that they will fall in love with you, or you choose to take a look around at your other options if that friend really seems to be just a friend. Your choice. It may not be fair, but life ain't fair...

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I don't agree with any of this. I'm a tomboy, and I'm Uranian/Aquarian...'friendship' is our whole bag. But I'm honest, and I know how men and women interact with each other. Nine times out of ten, if they're friends long enough, and both straight, and neither finds the other horrendous to look at...they wind up wanting to screw each other.

I don't even know why people are trying to deny that.

And if you think about it, it makes sense. Adults are hard-wired to want to mate with each other. Put two that don't find each other unattractive together, and then have them spend lots of time together...and if they also like one another as people, eventually that turns into sexual interest.

posted January 23, 2013 12:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by StacyLewis:
I don't even know why people are trying to deny that

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I think those of us who aren't obsessed with sex see friendship is natural and understand that people have a lot more to offer than sex, and so we can and do have platonic relationships. If a guy has a relationship with another woman then he doesn't need me for that and I have more to offer than what's between my legs, as shocking as that claim may seem. And perhaps it also helps to know that I come from an extended family so I'm used to dealing with males in which any sexual connection just isn't going to happen (in addition to all the other reasons we mention).

That said, I know I've been harassed a lot and had guys only pretend to be friendly try to get into my pants, so I know many choose not to. OTOH, many find other ways to relate to me. One guy I was friends with got divorced and suddenly showed interest in me, but I turned him down. He's now married to someone else and we remain friends, and I'm also friends with his wife who is not the least bit threatened by me (or if she is then she hides it well and has always welcomed me).

posted January 23, 2013 07:08 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I think those of us who aren't obsessed with sex see friendship is natural and understand that people have a lot more to offer than sex, and so we can and do have platonic relationships. If a guy has a relationship with another woman then he doesn't need me for that and I have more to offer than what's between my legs, as shocking as that claim may seem. And perhaps it also helps to know that I come from an extended family so I'm used to dealing with males in which any sexual connection just isn't going to happen (in addition to all the other reasons we mention).

That said, I know I've been harassed a lot and had guys only pretend to be friendly try to get into my pants, so I know many choose not to. OTOH, many find other ways to relate to me. One guy I was friends with got divorced and suddenly showed interest in me, but I turned him down. He's now married to someone else and we remain friends, and I'm also friends with his wife who is not the least bit threatened by me (or if she is then she hides it well and has always welcomed me).

But if you find yourself unable to look at a guy without his penis becoming all important to you then people like us would seem strange & alien to you who are in denial, and of course your subjective reality would seem natural & obvious. But understand, we're not all like you, men (well, a few at least) are more than their penises, and there is more to life than sex.

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I wish people wouldn't deny others' experiences and ways of being just because they're not their experiences and ways of being.

posted January 23, 2013 08:28 AM            

AND he is sexy as f*** as i'm made to constantly remind him