|
Author
|
Topic: Is it easy to push Sagittarius friends away?
|
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4532
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted May 01, 2013 03:43 AM
  
Just wondering. Some signs will stick there (like Taurus) and force you to say what's wrong (Aries.) or they'll get mad you're being mean, but they're still loyal (Leo?) What about Sags?IP: Logged |
Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake Posts: 1298
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011
|
posted May 01, 2013 04:20 AM
In my experience, they kinda wander off on their own sometimes.But as far as actively doing something to push them away I dunno... it's always worked in my case when I became "boring" to them or actively tried to pursue their attention. I think you are asking about their stickability though. I imagine they are there for their closest friends, not in a suffocating call you every minute way but they are around. A lot of Sags I know keep a certain circle. Not all of them function the same, though. IP: Logged |
depth
Knowflake Posts: 512
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted May 01, 2013 06:04 AM
I wander off on my own most of the time. If someone gets boring, clingy, critical, keeps complaining about their pathetic life, possessive...and at the same time if I find someone more interesting, I just go away. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 2206
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted May 01, 2013 08:20 AM
Depends. They're less likely to take offense so they'll put up with things that others signs do (just don't mistake their honesty with a personal attack, and if they do feel insulted they see insulting back as more of a means of being clever than trying to hurt someone, the witty rejoinder is much more fun to them than a crude attack). They can shake off a lot, but they expect others to be as thick-skinned, too. They also like their space and tend to give others theirs, so if they don't feel welcome then they'll come back later. If it goes on too long then I'm sure they would at least consider not coming back at all. And clinginess (especially consistent clinginess) can really chase them to the hills. And be very careful about defying their principles (if any). They're generally easygoing and can brush things off, but if they have strong beliefs and you flagrantly violate that, especially to mock or taunt them, even a pacifist Sag can become violent. I heard of one who was on the cowardly side and avoided confrontation but when his someone mocked his environmental beliefs while blatantly polluting in front of him he picked up a bat and literally became a philosopher with a club. Not to say they're zealots who can't stand debate or difference of opinion, but just don't be cruel to them in that way, they just might show their aggressive side (even if that's very unusual for them otherwise). IP: Logged |
Yin
Moderator Posts: 3237
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted May 01, 2013 08:29 AM
We run from dishonesty and fake people.IP: Logged |
Padre35
Moderator Posts: 1767
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
|
posted May 01, 2013 08:32 AM
Clinginess works both ways, if I feel I'm a bit to deep in someone's business then I'll step back and give them space.And they won't come out and say they are stepping back for a bit, we just disappear. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4532
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted May 01, 2013 09:59 AM
You're right Lazy, I mean stickability. It's interesting because I feel more Sag than ever the more I read descriptions of them. It's like I'm all three fire signs. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4532
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted May 01, 2013 01:03 PM
So they're not the kind of sign who will pursue you even more or win you back if you leave them (friend or otherwise) they just go find someone else?IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 2206
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted May 01, 2013 04:54 PM
Pretty much.I do know a Sag who can become obsessed with someone so that if she likes someone A LOT then she isn't going to bail, but I see that as her Scorpio Venus & Mars with her Cancer moon also making her a bit stalkerish at times (the Cancer moon also makes her unable to take what she dishes out as both a Sag Sun & Scorpio Mars). Her Taurus Saturn would probably add to her tenacity in the case of people she's known a long time. Her 8H Mercury and her Scorpio Jupiter would also encourage her to find out what was bugging someone, for curiosity if no other reason. IP: Logged |
Kerosene
Knowflake Posts: 2046
From: Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012
|
posted May 01, 2013 05:24 PM
Tell them you hate their music and love meat.  IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4532
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted May 01, 2013 06:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Kerosene:
Tell them you hate their music and love meat.
Lol but I miss them. I don't like things not being resolved. IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 270
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted May 02, 2013 12:53 AM
It also depends on where their Venus lies...Venus in Scorpio likes deep and dangerous topics, Venus in Libra likes good taste and manners. I'm not familiar with Venus in Capricorn...I'm Sag-heavy in my chart - Sag Sun, Asc, Mars and Jupiter (Venus in Libra) and don't like clingy, crude or crassness, lack of respect in people. I will definitely give someone else space and respect other's opinions. If someone doesn't respect my opinion or is mocking...see you later. I disappear a lot, even if I'm in the same room. 100 miles away or suddenly planning my next trip lol. I am a pushover for a charming person. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 1757
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted May 02, 2013 01:03 AM
''Is it easy to push Sagittarius friends away? ''If you are cap dominant ( am not sure if you are or not),yes,it's very easy to push them away. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 1757
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted May 02, 2013 01:05 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
So they're not the kind of sign who will pursue you even more or win you back if you leave them (friend or otherwise) they just go find someone else?
If they really care about you,they won't have to 'pursue' you,or 'win you back'...in my experience of Saggies... IP: Logged |
Padre35
Moderator Posts: 1767
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
|
posted May 02, 2013 01:13 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
If they really care about you,they won't have to 'pursue' you,or 'win you back'...in my experience of Saggies...
Depends, sometimes with Saggies, there is a lot cooking in our heads, we may not realize if we ghost out others will take it personally. For example stopped chatting with some friends in the world not b/c the did anything wrong, more discovered I like digital photography. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 1757
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted May 02, 2013 01:26 AM
^^Yeah, depends...the saggies I know are/were quite loyal,faithful friends,if they care about you,they'll let you know.That's what I love about Saggies,they are uncomplicated beings,fun to be with,and quite caring.If they are not able to hang out with you,it's because they are held up doing things they have to attend to,not because they are testing you or they are analyzing your behavior.Like I said,in my experience of the Saggies I know.IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4532
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted May 02, 2013 05:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
''Is it easy to push Sagittarius friends away? ''If you are cap dominant ( am not sure if you are or not),yes,it's very easy to push them away.
Ugh, I'm Cap dominant. But they have a Cap moon, and Scorpio Mercury. Me? Sun, Merc, and Venus square Saturn. Saturn in the 7th. Capricorn ruling my 8th house, Moon trine Saturn, Saturn in Capricorn. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Knowflake Posts: 1757
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted May 02, 2013 06:19 AM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Ugh, I'm Cap dominant. But they have a Cap moon, and Scorpio Mercury.Me? Sun, Merc, and Venus square Saturn. Saturn in the 7th. Capricorn ruling my 8th house, Moon trine Saturn, Saturn in Capricorn.
Hmmm..well if your friend is a cap moon, he might not be very open about expression...I'm guessing you too. So looking at it at a Sag angle will likely confuse you because the Saggies I was talking about don't have difficult moons to deal with. My Cappy is a cap moon,mercury,mars and sun.I feel when God created emotional expressions he was hiding at the bottom of the ocean.Doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions though.However,if I push him away,tell him quite deliberately that I didn't want him in my life,he would leave without a word.Because I would have hurt him deliberately,being a cap moon he doesn't get over past hurts easily.BUT if I hurt him inadvertently,like for instance in response to something he has done,and stopped talking to him because of it,it's not easy for them to just leave you.Because cap moons,once they care about you,have trouble abandoning you so to speak.They will stick with you through thick and thin.That's two things I find common between cancer moons and cap moons. IP: Logged |
Xiiro
Moderator Posts: 1554
From: San Diego CA, USA
Registered: Jun 2011
|
posted May 02, 2013 07:25 AM
I think Sag can be very discriminating with how we engage others in a long-term capacity. We seek the uplifting and lighthearted nature in people. We don't want you to go out of your way to prove you love us, or question your true intentions when you are unable to meet us for lunch. In fact, we view the idea of questioning someone's friendship as quite disrespectful (unless of course the person has harmed you). Have we harmed you? Why would you/we have made plans in the first place if being your friend was an undesirable activity in our mind?The key to friendship with a Sag is (cliche in 3..2..1) freedom. Sag will hang out with you every day for 6 months and then vanish on some adventure or important endeavor. We don't think to check in with all our friends and family to make sure they are okay with us living our lives. This isn't because we expect others to sit around at home and wait for us, but because we assume if something came along for you, you would grab it and go too. The truth is, if you speak Saginese you start to see how very loyal we are. Our heart never says goodbye to the people we love, it only says "until our paths cross again", we will carry you on our back to safety, give the shirt off our back when you are cold, make you snort with laughter when you are miserable, and even put ourselves in debt to make sure you are safe and happy. Best of all, some Sagis will never ask you to return their shirt or pay them back. Our loved ones are our tribe or pack and that means what's mine is yours. As a Sag with Scorpio Venus, this makes choosing friends a particular experience. If someone shows signs of being emotionally manipulative, I keep them at arms length until I know I can trust them to be part of my pack. Unless Uranus is involved, Sag suffers from "ohana syndrome". When we meet someone a connection is made, and in a strange spiritual way, that person becomes part of our family (one of the reason Jupiter exalted in Cancer is such a nice combo for Sag. It establishes devoted connections). Everyone is genuinely important to us until proven otherwise (and even then, most people deserve a second chance). I know acquaintances I have only met a couple times, or friends who have treated me like complete dirt, people who I don't keep in touch with intentionally, and who by all standards are better described as enemies. I made the decision to part ways with most of those people because of their actions, but if any of them were to call me up tomorrow and ask me for help... or even just say they want to hang out again, I would be there without hesitation. My more watery influences emphasize this part of my personality a lot. Sag comprehends impermanence. We may get angry or hurt, but we understand that what you did last week was done in the context of last week and what you do today arises out of a whole new set of conditions. Sag begins to lose interest when the person they are connecting with starts hindering their ability to enjoy life as it comes. We are a commonly straight forward sign, what you see is what you get. We feel it's unnecessary to run around playing the "but do you really like me?" game and the capacity for enduring it is unique to each Sag. For us, there are all sorts of ways we could be enjoying each other's company, playing emotional games and testing each other are not on that list. As a Virgo Moon, I am drawn to assisting with the emotional struggles of those I love, as long as they are making steps to improve their situation. When a friend has been stuck on a pain loop for a while, begins to bring others down, and refuses to accept help, I see that as time they may need to spend alone with their situation. I feel as though my presence has become more of a distraction than a help and resolve to step back until they are capable of getting past it. Most of the time Sag walks away from a situation when they feel the other person will not be happy, no matter what effort the Sag makes. Why does Sag do this? Many Sagittarians experience intense adoration with a parent, followed by early abandonment or disconnection. We learn at a young age that when we do something right/good/funny, it makes the people we love happy. In some cases (Capricorn influenced for example) the abandonment/disconnection comes from a parent who sees their child's intense desire to make them happy, and rewards that behavior with too much responsibility. The Sag develops an understanding that the more they please the parent, the more trust they generate, and the more trust their parent has, the more personal freedom they reap (because a child who always wants to do the right thing, is rarely a child you keep your eye on). Eventually the parent exploits the relationship and leaves Sag to raise their self. Sag makes a young transition from wanting to satisfy someone who loves and protects them, to being relied on to care for and protect their self, way before it is appropriate. In some cases the parent may use disappointment, distrust, and guilt/shame to punish or manipulate the Sag. This often results in Sag adults not being able/willing to handle any unmet emotional expectations or manipulation from others. Here are a couple of examples of this type of Sag/parent relationship: When I was 15 I dated a 25 year old, partied everyday, came home at 2am every night, and turned in a total of 5 assignments throughout my high school career. My parents didn't know/care about any of that, because I charmed my way through my classes and was resourceful enough to never get in trouble. When I was 17 I met a 16 year old Sag girl at a coffee shop and we immediately became friends. I was homeless at the time, but she hung out with me for 3 months straight. We slept in the same places, I would flirt with guys for money and pay for both of us to eat, etc.. only after 3 months did I learn that she lived with her mom, a few miles down the freeway. We went to her mom's house to pick something up and her mom acted as if my friend had only left a few hours ago. No questions about who I was, no questions about her well being, just, "Oh, hi honey". That desire to make the people we love happy is actually one of Sagittarius's most vulnerable spots. It hurts us deeply when the people we love distrust or feel harmed by us. We tend to connect well with people who are honest and communicative enough to address issues before they turn into distrust or hurt. I think as an archetype, where the Sag friend is different from Leo and Aries, surrounds the concept of reliability. Aries and Leo want a part in other individual's lives, where they are seen as important and contributory. As leaders and kings, both signs want other individuals to rely on them. Sag is capable of rising to any occasion, but we can't learn our friend's lessons for them, instead we prefer to support with experiential wisdom and inspiration. We understand each person ultimately walks their path alone, so we (in Virgo Moon's case) show our love by being a source of uplifting optimism/hope in the darkest times. We stand next to you, cheer you on, and offer insight from the perspective of our own path. When you are starving we don't just feed you, we teach you how to hunt. When you are thirsty we don't just give you water, we show you where the river is. It seems many people think, "if I am stuck in a hole, a true friend should get in the hole too and help me out". But Sag thinks, if you fall into a hole and I am outside the hole, then aren't you lucky to have someone who can go get you a ladder? When you stumble we don't just run over and clean things up for you, we burn away doubt and lend a feeling that you can overcome anything, help you to trivialize the big scary shadows, lend whatever hands are available to us (including the hands of anyone in our ohana), and cheer you on as you pull your self out. We are the personal trainers of the cosmos =/ If your Sag friend is offended for some reason, give them space, apologize for whatever part you had in the falling out, and try to understand the creature who is your Sag friend. Also, It's not fair to you if their friendship isn't sufficient for what you need to feel happy and secure. Consider this Sag friend may not have what it takes to be a proper friend for you. We have to accept the good an the bad with everyone. Asking ourselves if the habits of others are compatible with our personal standards/values is important for both of you. If some time has passed, send them a message saying that you were thinking about them, then leave the ball in their court. IP: Logged |
hannaramaa
Knowflake Posts: 4532
From:
Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted May 02, 2013 04:52 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Jessica2407:
However,if I push him away,tell him quite deliberately that I didn't want him in my life,he would leave without a word.
YEP! He did just that, kind of. I told him that and he still texted me it was like he was obvlious to what I'd just said. And then nothing... but I still think he misses me. I would like to work it out, but after you tell someone "I will never talk to you again," you look like an a.hole going back, and I don't know how to do it smoothly, especially because it's going to take me getting over my pride or his over his (but he's a Cap moon, and they have a LOT more patience than I do. I'm like "should I wait? Should I not? What do I do?") and I'm afraid he'll write me off should I try to explain myself. Then again, he didn't try to stop me. IP: Logged |
Chirp
Knowflake Posts: 161
From:
Registered: May 2013
|
posted May 02, 2013 09:32 PM
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Just wondering. Some signs will stick there (like Taurus) and force you to say what's wrong (Aries.) or they'll get mad you're being mean, but they're still loyal (Leo?) What about Sags?
Sticking around long term and being there for the rough stuff really isn't a Sagittarian trait - which, to be fair to them, makes sense when you factor in the Jupiter connection. They want good times...ALL THE TIME. If being around you isn't a constant party and you aren't maniacally happy all the time they do stop calling/start avoiding you. You have to remember also that it's a mutable sign so it's not going to be like a fixed sign as far as commitment goes. As long as you don't feel any real sense of attachment and connection to them - or at least, don't let on that you do - and keep it light, they'll be there. IP: Logged |
enchantress299
Knowflake Posts: 652
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted May 02, 2013 11:08 PM
Xiiro- Thank you for writing that whole explanation. That actually lent me A LOT of perspective on a situation I'm having with a Sagittarius friend of mine. This: quote:
That desire to make the people we love happy is actually one of Sagittarius's most vulnerable spots. It hurts us deeply when the people we love distrust or feel harmed by us. We tend to connect well with people who are honest and communicative enough to address issues before they turn into distrust or hurt.
...actually makes a lot of sense and gives me a very different perspective on things. I was just thinking that I've been thrown into this same situation again to do it right this time (last time with an Aqua with some Sadge influences, this time with a Sadge with Aqua Moon). Last time our friendship slowly built up bitterness and resentment because I felt that 'flakiness' was a part of his personality and I didn't have a right to question it, so I never addressed the problem. This time I have decided the best idea is to address the problem at the beginning before it gets to that point so the pitfalls can potentially be avoided. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Knowflake Posts: 2206
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted May 02, 2013 11:24 PM
I also want to thank Xiiro for such a good, clear post, I enjoyed reading it.  IP: Logged |
Odette
Knowflake Posts: 1941
From:
Registered: May 2012
|
posted May 03, 2013 12:52 AM
Case studies:1. Leo woman/Sag man: her first love. Everything seemed perfect for about a year. First time they both had sex (18-19 yrs old). Thought she'd be with him forever and ever.
Guy cheated with three different girls (all mutual friends)... yes - three!!
She found out because she saw him walking around with one of these girls one day and kissing her.
He never explained himself or apologised - after that. They just avoided each other. They never even had a proper break-up.
They avoided each other for about 2 yrs.. In the mean time Leo girl meets Aqua guy - gets engaged, gets pregnant - plans on getting married (now 22).
Sag guy comes back all of the sudden, out of the thin blue sky - asking her not to get married because he is in love with her. Typical Sag behaviour! She says no.
The end.
2. actually I have to go.... I'll come back with more..
IP: Logged |
Padre35
Moderator Posts: 1767
From: Asheville, NC, US
Registered: Jul 2012
|
posted May 03, 2013 01:00 AM
Odette:I'd say that is a Saggie who does not know himself very well. Saggie's are rather good at the very least remaining friends. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
