Do I have too much depth?

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Do I have too much depth? (Page 2)

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Author	Topic: Do I have too much depth?
Little Doe Knowflake Posts: 366 From: Registered: Feb 2013	posted May 03, 2013 10:40 AM 7th Would you mind elaborating on your argument? I understand what you´re saying, and I know that I have issues that are similar to the people I feel drained by. What do you think my inner deamons are about? I´m just curious, If you feel like explaining. IP: Logged
geea unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 10:41 AM quote: Originally posted by Chirp: You sifted through the posts til you found one that told you what you wanted to hear lol. You'd have saved a whole lot of people a lot of time if you stated outright that you were looking for people who shared your stance as opposed to pretending you were genuinely open to everything people might say about it. 7th guardian, here are your self-projecters IP: Logged
hikoro Knowflake Posts: 1239 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 03, 2013 10:44 AM quote: Originally posted by Little Doe: Let´s start over. Here´s my question: If I am being used by someone, and I clearly am, since they ask me to do things for them all the time and I never ask for anything in return, and I don´t even want or need these people in my life (I simply don´t want them near me), is it wrong of me to reject them, even though I know that they NEED me? (And they clearly do. Otherwise they wouldn´t be bothering me all the time). great! let's start over! simple answer: no, it is not wrong. so...what's the problem? IP: Logged
Little Doe Knowflake Posts: 366 From: Registered: Feb 2013	posted May 03, 2013 10:46 AM quote: Originally posted by hikoro: great! let's start over! simple answer: no, it is not wrong. so...what's the problem? That I feel like it IS wrong? (I blame my mars in libra in 12th for this, seriously..) IP: Logged
hikoro Knowflake Posts: 1239 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 03, 2013 10:49 AM quote: Originally posted by Little Doe: That I feel like it IS wrong? because you're used to saying YES. it is too much of a conditioned pattern. you have guilt...hmmm... where does the guilt come from? any person who made/makes you feel guilty or that you're being bad/wrong for not doing x? you need to become the NO person and with time, it gets easier. IP: Logged
Chirp unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 10:49 AM quote: Originally posted by geea: 7th guardian, here are your self-projecters Aw honey, I don't care what you think of me. IP: Logged
hikoro Knowflake Posts: 1239 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 03, 2013 10:52 AM another thing... your discomfort with saying 'no, i cant do it', is it because you feel bad for the other person? or because you dont like being seen as bad/not helpful/not nice. which one? IP: Logged
Little Doe Knowflake Posts: 366 From: Registered: Feb 2013	posted May 03, 2013 10:53 AM quote: Originally posted by hikoro: because you're used to saying YES. it is too much of a conditioned pattern. you have guilt...hmmm... where does the guilt come from? any person who made/makes you feel guilty or that you're being bad/wrong for not doing x? you need to become the NO person and with time, it gets easier. I think the guilt is very deep-seated. My parents never really taught me to stand up for mysel. Infact, they never stood up for themselves much either. It´s time to break the vicious cyckle, I guess. IP: Logged
Little Doe Knowflake Posts: 366 From: Registered: Feb 2013	posted May 03, 2013 10:58 AM quote: Originally posted by hikoro: another thing... your discomfort with saying 'no, i cant do it', is it because you feel bad for the other person? or because you dont like being seen as bad/not helpful/not nice. which one? Both. I guess I´m the the escapist personified. I´d like the world to be a perfect place where I never have to say no to anyone. (Maybe I have a hard time excepting my own limitations.) Saying no makes me feel insecure, almost like I´ll get in some kind of danger. And I also end up feeling sorry for the person if I do say no. For example, just today I got a message from one of these people who I really don´t like. I even tried to show her in a genle manner that I´m not comfortable being friends. In the message she says that she misses me. I thought about answering it, just because I feel like such a cold person if I don´t. But at the same time I really don´t want any contact/friendship with her. I wish I could just make up my mind about what I think/feel, and act accordingly. IP: Logged
Chirp unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:01 AM quote: Originally posted by Little Doe: I think this thread got on the wrong track, becase people have started to offend me, and I did the same in return. That was not the intention. I appologize if I have offended anyone. I think some of you might have misunderstood the point of this thread. I´m not asking weather the people I consider shady are good/bad. None of us have the right to judge others, I know that. Let´s start over. Here´s my question: If I am being used by someone, and I clearly am, since they ask me to do things for them all the time and I never ask for anything in return, and I don´t even want or need these people in my life (I simply don´t want them near me), is it wrong of me to reject them, even though I know that they NEED me? (And they clearly do. Otherwise they wouldn´t be bothering me all the time). What makes you think they NEED you? Trust me, if they actually are the users you say they are, it isn't even about you specifically, you're incidental and could be anybody. And if you say no it'll hardly shatter them, they'll just turn right around and keep asking other people until eventually one says yes, I doubt they'd hurl themselves off a building because you personally wouldn't drive them to Piggly Wiggly. I'm still not quite understanding the question in general though? You think these are awful, horrible people and you say you feel sorry for them and that's why you can't bring yourself to tell them no...but usually people who feel genuine empathy for others, don't hop on the internet and describe them as being stupid horrible people, that in itself seems callous to me and doesn't seem to back up what you're saying here, that you're this deep, amazingly caring person. IP: Logged
geea unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:05 AM chip, i wasn’t talking to you. i’m flattered but don’t call me honey, that’s a word reserved to my special someone. IP: Logged
Chirp unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:05 AM quote: Originally posted by geea: chip, i wasn’t talking to you. i’m flattered but don’t call me honey, that’s a word reserved to my special someone. Honey...I don't mean it with affection, trust me. IP: Logged
hikoro Knowflake Posts: 1239 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 03, 2013 11:06 AM ok... so, you feel bad for the person...and you feel that something bad is going to happen to you... but, what about being seen wrongly by others? what i tried to ask you is, how much do you care about how others will see/judge you? do you feel a need to make an impression that you are 'mother teresa'? do you help because you want to? or, because you want to be seen as mother teresa by others? do you see the difference? mind you, im still not sure if altruism truly exists among homo sapiens sapiens...but... there are a couple of folks who like to help others because it makes them feel good (perfectly reasonable) and also, because they like to help. on the other hand, you do have those folks who are helping just 'to look good' get what im saying? IP: Logged
hikoro Knowflake Posts: 1239 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 03, 2013 11:11 AM quote: Originally posted by Chirp: I'm still not quite understanding the question in general though? You think these are awful, horrible people and you say you feel sorry for them and that's why you can't bring yourself to tell them no...but usually people who feel genuine empathy for others, don't hop on the internet and describe them as being stupid horrible people, that in itself seems callous to me and doesn't seem to back up what you're saying here, that you're this deep, amazingly caring person.[/B] i agree with this. chirp, i think little doe hasnt realized this yet...(sorry little doe but here i come again!) but, i think she wants to help but, she is still ignorant about her position and how she comes across. she reminds me of western folks who go to third world nations to help 'the poor brown people' (sorry, got to say it)....and, it is like, they have the best intentions, but at the same time, they are coming across as condescending and ignorant in regards to their intentions and perceptions...but, they don't see it. and, some of these people can be downright offensive...but they dont see it. you know what im getting at? mind you, it is not something that is done intentionally or with any ill-intention...and, the person may genuinely want to help others, but yep. this is what it reminds me of. IP: Logged
geea unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:11 AM quote: Originally posted by Chirp: Honey...I don't mean it with affection, trust me. ok chip, my bad, i thought you are smart enough to get the hints of my sarcasm. IP: Logged
Chirp unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:15 AM quote: Originally posted by hikoro: i agree with this. chirp, i think little doe hasnt realized this yet...(sorry little doe but here i come again!) but, i think she wants to help but, she is still ignorant about her position and how she comes across. she reminds me of western folks who go to third world nations to help 'the poor brown people' (sorry, got to say it)....and, it is like, they have the best intentions, but at the same time, they are coming across as condescending and ignorant in regards to their intentions and perceptions...but, they don't see it. and, some of these people can be downright offensive...but they dont see it. you know what im getting at? mind you, it is not something that is done intentionally or with any ill-intention...and, the person may genuinely want to help others, but yep. this is what it reminds me of. ...Between you and me? I've always thought those people's interest in helping wasn't genuine and that they do it purely so they can run back and tell people later that they volunteered in Somalia and bask in the praise about how awesome they are. quote: Originally posted by geea: ok chip, my bad, i thought you are smart enough to get the hints of my sarcasm. Oh honey, I'm too smart...that's why I see right through you. IP: Logged
hikoro Knowflake Posts: 1239 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted May 03, 2013 11:17 AM quote: Originally posted by Chirp: ...Between you and me? I've always thought those people's interest in helping wasn't genuine and that they do it purely so they can run back and tell people later that they volunteered in Somalia and bask in the praise about how awesome they are. i agree wholeheartedly! i was just trying to be more diplomatic. you see, i can be diplomatic...lol IP: Logged
geea unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:17 AM littledoe, like i said, make your limits clear to them. PS: i have 12th stellium, i used to be the ultimate doormat, so i may know a thing or two about this. IP: Logged
Little Doe Knowflake Posts: 366 From: Registered: Feb 2013	posted May 03, 2013 11:19 AM quote: Originally posted by hikoro: ok... so, you feel bad for the person...and you feel that something bad is going to happen to you... but, what about being seen wrongly by others? what i tried to ask you is, how much do you care about how others will see/judge you? do you feel a need to make an impression that you are 'mother teresa'? do you help because you want to? or, because you want to be seen as mother teresa by others? do you see the difference? mind you, im still not sure if altruism truly exists among homo sapiens sapiens...but... there are a couple of folks who like to help others because it makes them feel good (perfectly reasonable) and also, because they like to help. on the other hand, you do have those folks who are helping just 'to look good' get what im saying? I get ya! You´re asking some really good questions actually. Don´t get me wrong, if helping others makes me look good, I´m not going to complain. But seriously though, that´s not my main reason. Nothing makes me more genuinely happy than helping someone out and seing the progress, evolve, be happy.. I really mean that. But I actually agree that altruism probably doesn´t exist. I am of the oppinion that everything in the universe has to be in balance in order to last. I do want to help people, but it has to be a mutual exchange. We have to help EACHOTHER. Isn´t that the meaning of life? Souls helping eachother to mutually grow, evolve? It´s not about looking good. That´s so skin-deep. Having people who are on your wave-lenght, and with whom you can have true mutual exchange feels SO much better than that. But I don´t have that. I feel like we aren´t on the same wave-lenght. Actually, I don´t even know what they want from me. I think I´ve been pretending to be something I´m not, and they took advantage of my confusion. Just out of curiosity - dwould you guys respond to the message? IP: Logged
geea unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:19 AM enlighten me chip, what do you see? IP: Logged
Chirp unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:20 AM quote: Originally posted by hikoro: i agree wholeheartedly! i was just trying to be more diplomatic. you see, i can be diplomatic...lol Omfg, we're here (makes the little brainwave gesture). I will pull back now and go back to saying half of what I actually wanna say lmao. I already got a post yanked by the mod in another thread because I...disagreed with them. That's right - I didn't troll, I didn't flame, my opinion just didn't fit alongside theirs so blip-blip! Missing post. IP: Logged
Little Doe Knowflake Posts: 366 From: Registered: Feb 2013	posted May 03, 2013 11:24 AM quote: Originally posted by geea: littledoe, like i said, make your limits clear to them. PS: i have 12th stellium, i used to be the ultimate doormat, so i may know a thing or two about this. Ok. Thanks so much. IP: Logged
Chirp unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:26 AM quote: Originally posted by geea: littledoe, like i said, make your limits clear to them. PS: i have 12th stellium, i used to be the ultimate doormat, so i may know a thing or two about this. The twelfth house is self-undoing. The house of service (at best, slavery at worst) is the sixth, see now I'm genuinely confused. IP: Logged
Little Doe Knowflake Posts: 366 From: Registered: Feb 2013	posted May 03, 2013 11:26 AM EDIT Maybe some of them didn´t even try to take advantage but ended up confused because I didn´t set boundries. Who knows? IP: Logged
Chirp unregistered	posted May 03, 2013 11:30 AM quote: Originally posted by geea: enlighten me chip, what do you see? Translation : "Let's talk about my favorite subject - me". Watch, this is the part where I don't tell you anything...hold on... Okay, wait. Yeah! Now, okay what I would've told you would go right here : ___________________________, ____________. IP: Logged

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