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Author
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Topic: Dealbrakers in synastry
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orocairion
Knowflake Posts: 217
From:
Registered: May 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 02:25 AM
  
quote:
Originally posted by Rosalind:
I know why. If the couple is not mature, Saturn will treat Mars as a parent and Mars energy will not work properly. Mars will want to act and act and Saturn doesn't want that. The energies clash and clash and clash. Mars is immature and reckless, Saturn is the opposite. Of course can't work if the couple doesn't know how to balance the energies.If I'm not mistaken Will and Kate have this aspect. In the first years of dating they went the most balanced couple. But now after they have grow up, they are fine. And married.
I have this as a double whammy with someone. It isn't easy indeed, though I've become familiar with Saturn energy
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next to neptune
Knowflake Posts: 894
From: Mercury
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 07:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by LucieLemonade:
THIS is the post that really freaked me out. As we have a lot of Pluto connections, as I wrote above. Not just the personal planets but also square Jupiter and Neptune, plus my moon sextile his pluto. I"ve never been in a relationship with that much Pluto. So I can't "feel" Pluto. Even in my natal I don't really "get" pluto.
The thing with pluto relationships is that we have to accept that they are very common between people (cause pluto is so attractive and vice versa) and that they ARE going to end someday… nothing lasts forever and it's really hard to admit when you are in the middle of a (seemingly) nice relationship right now. But there is also GOOD lessons to be learned with pluto-relationships. It makes you for sure in contact with your bad side, your evil demons deep down. When the relationship starts to go bad, it will be really ugly, but the most people who break up will be able to see how much they have LEARNED after a while. Pluto is transforming you, and it will NEVER be the same afterwards.
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LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 332
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted December 14, 2013 10:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
The thing with pluto relationships is that we have to accept that they are very common between people (cause pluto is so attractive and vice versa) and that they ARE going to end someday… nothing lasts forever and it's really hard to admit when you are in the middle of a (seemingly) nice relationship right now. But there is also GOOD lessons to be learned with pluto-relationships. It makes you for sure in contact with your bad side, your evil demons deep down. When the relationship starts to go bad, it will be really ugly, but the most people who break up will be able to see how much they have LEARNED after a while. Pluto is transforming you, and it will NEVER be the same afterwards.
Thank you NtN for your thoughtful response. We've known from the beginning this isn't going to last. There is a big age difference. The Sat opp Sat should give a clue.  You can see my initial resistance. And I guess you can also see how I ended up un-resisting. I do believe we learn and grow from all our relationships and they do all eventually end. I've never been the "happily ever after" kind of girl. Neither of us is immature nor have violent natures and I'm not particularly jealous (even if my natal says I should be). He admits he can be at times and he knows that when he gets mad he can say hurtful things. So, he is at least self aware. We have a great time together. It's easy and comfortable for now. However, I don't want either of us to get really really hurt. Changed is fine. Damaged, not so much.
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VirGuy
Knowflake Posts: 37
From: UK
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted December 15, 2013 07:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by VirGuy:
Their Saturn conjunct my Mars. Never again.
quote:
Originally posted by orocairion:
Why is that?
Because Saturn suffocates Mars's energy and expression. Saturn forces Mars into a structure which prevents its free expression. Mars then rebels and exhibits even more of the behavior that Saturn disapproves of, thus proving Saturn right in Saturn's eyes. With this impression in mind Saturn becomes even more resolutely unwilling to bend, believing it is right. Of course, if Saturn was to let go a bit Mars would feel less restricted and be more amenable to doing things Saturn's way - Let Mars burn off its spontaneous energies and then it can settle into doing the things that Saturn things 'need' to be done. But Saturn will never bend.Mars gets 'conned' into relationships with this conjunction because, as I've read in a number of places, Saturn actually mimics Mars during the formative stages, so Mars find its energies being approved of, celebrated and encouraged and even displayed by Saturn too, such that Mars thinks "Wow! I've met my soul mate - someone who not only approves of and encourages me but is the same as me". Then, once a relationship is established and settled the real Saturn emerges, criticizing Mars's energies, accusing Mars of being out of control, etc. When this is put on Mars, Mars rebels, causing Saturn to clamp down on Mars even more, thus causing Mars to feel even more restricted and rebel even more still. This is exactly my exact experience. I'm trying to work with the energies in a way that results in a satisfactory outcome, but it's not easy. Had I known what I know now I'd have avoided such a conjunction but, having got into a situation which is good in other ways, I'm keen to find a way of making it work. How the hell do you get Saturn to loosen its grip though? IP: Logged |
Rosalind
Knowflake Posts: 3063
From:
Registered: Mar 2011
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posted December 15, 2013 07:57 AM
quote:
Originally posted by VirGuy:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by VirGuy:
[b]Their Saturn conjunct my Mars. Never again.
quote:
Originally posted by orocairion:
Why is that?
Because Saturn suffocates Mars's energy and expression. Saturn forces Mars into a structure which prevents its free expression. Mars then rebels and exhibits even more of the behavior that Saturn disapproves of, thus proving Saturn right in Saturn's eyes. With this impression in mind Saturn becomes even more resolutely unwilling to bend, believing it is right. Of course, if Saturn was to let go a bit Mars would feel less restricted and be more amenable to doing things Saturn's way - Let Mars burn off its spontaneous energies and then it can settle into doing the things that Saturn things 'need' to be done. But Saturn will never bend.Mars gets 'conned' into relationships with this conjunction because, as I've read in a number of places, Saturn actually mimics Mars during the formative stages, so Mars find its energies being approved of, celebrated and encouraged and even displayed by Saturn too, such that Mars thinks "Wow! I've met my soul mate - someone who not only approves of and encourages me but is the same as me". Then, once a relationship is established and settled the real Saturn emerges, criticizing Mars's energies, accusing Mars of being out of control, etc. When this is put on Mars, Mars rebels, causing Saturn to clamp down on Mars even more, thus causing Mars to feel even more restricted and rebel even more still. This is exactly my exact experience. I'm trying to work with the energies in a way that results in a satisfactory outcome, but it's not easy. Had I known what I know now I'd have avoided such a conjunction but, having got into a situation which is good in other ways, I'm keen to find a way of making it work. How the hell do you get Saturn to loosen its grip though?[/B][/QUOTE] Its totally the opposite. Of course the rule works for mature couples anyways. IP: Logged |
meissieri
Knowflake Posts: 806
From: The Netherlands
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted February 13, 2014 07:29 AM
Too many Uranus afflictions to my personals. While I love me a little excitement and keeping things fresh, the harsh aspects are often too much for me. They often turn out to be completely unable to be counted on when I need them. I'm also not too fond of afflictions from early Gemini to my Mars. It reminds me a lot of my upbringing where everyone would fight all the time, blow up over everything. Don't want to feel like I have to tip-toe around them all the time. Maybe they do think I'm tactless, but I always feel they get mad over whatever I say, no matter how I say it, no matter when...
It's like they just want to yell at me. Totally not willing to talk things out, either. Again, it's like they want to be mad at me.  There are exceptions, of course! (Like Doux has this square and we're doing just fine. <3) IP: Logged |
LucieLemonade
Knowflake Posts: 332
From:
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted February 13, 2014 07:51 AM
I should update my story.
(Actually, you probably don't care. LOL!  ) I did have a bit of a panic with all the "deal breakers" i had with a guy I was dating (see my above freak out!). But it was really quite a sane, and well a bit boring, relationship. In the end, he got too clingy, but not at all obsessive. Just that he wanted us to be together all the time. I need my space. So we went our separate ways, amicably. He still invited me out a few times, which I've declined so far. No drama.  IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 657
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted February 13, 2014 11:39 AM
I haven't read this entire thread but I would like to respond to the OP's question.I just want to say that I met a guy here almost a decade ago and we have a Grand Cardinal Cross as our Composite. We consider each other to be best friends and lifelong friends. We are far apart, so only online friends, but we mail each other things and share our good times and bad and help each through life. We feel more as if the Grand Square is like a box we cannot escape so being spiritual people with knowledge of astrology, we use the energy in the most positive and loving way. We treat each other with kindness, compassion, and understanding because we know we will probably always be in each other's lives.
It's as if The Universe stuffed us into a box together so we would be forced to learn to get along together. As the years pass and our respective planets progress, the angles could separate (or already have), freeing us, but by then we have forged such a true friendship that we would remain friends simply by choice.
IP: Logged |
lifefullofwords
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: California
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted February 13, 2014 01:16 PM
I've never had an issue with Chiron. In fact, I like it in synastry. It makes for a healing relationship. As usual the hard aspects take a bit of work but I don't mind hard aspects to Chiron, or Pluto, Neptune, or Saturn for that matter. It's just a matter of handling the energies. I can see why it's not for everyone though.My Deal Breakers: -Uranus in hard aspect, especially to Venus or Mars. I can see this energy working for other couples but I like a bit more security in a relationship -Mercury in hard aspect, especially to the Sun, Mars, or Saturn. Mars and Sun contacts with Mercury lead to a lot of fighting and Saturn tends to repress communication. -Lots of Saturn hard aspects, in synastry or composite. It just makes the relationship feel heavy and like it's impossible to end. Although some Saturn is necessary to make a relationship work, at least for me. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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