posted January 03, 2014 03:56 PM            

Most of us have these signs, placements and such that we go for, right? But what if you keep being attracted to someone who is not a good match for you, while not feeling it for people who would be. What you go for vs what you need, basically.

What could show this in the chart, and more important: how do you find a middle ground?

I know there's the classic Moon in harsh aspect to Venus, but I've been thinking lately there could be more to it.

What I thought of was a clash between your 5th/7th/8th house pattern. I have a feeling this can lead to "want vs need" as well. As if you have completely different things you want for each of these houses - and who could fit all of them?

I've been thinking of this for a while and I'm curious if it has been true for others. To everyone who has a difficult attraction pattern: what kind of problems does it give you? And to those who did find a good partner, how do they match your pattern?

posted January 04, 2014 01:14 AM            

I was wondering if you could clarify what you mean by romance houses not going together.

Do you mean when they house cusps themselves are in incompatible signs?

Or do you mean that one partner is not shown in the other person's attraction pattern (the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses).

Also I work with secondary houses, so if you can't find the partner symbolically in, say, your original 7th house. You could then check to see if your partner shows in your secondary 7th house (or 5th, or 8th... ).

If you have Pisces on the Dsc, check your 12th house for more details on your partner. If you have Aquarius on the Dsc check your 11th house for more details on your partner.

The house ruled by the sign on your Dsc (or 5th house, or 8th house) functions as a secondary version of that house. If a partner doesn't touch one of your original love houses (5th, 7th, 8th) in synastry, they may instead touch the secondary version of that house in your natal chart.

posted January 04, 2014 02:53 AM            

What attracts me are the signs inconjunct to my signs; Leo, Gem, Sag and some Aqua or Uranian types. Also lots and lots of Scorpio which is my 3H and NN.

What's even more interesting is that the Gem and Sag makes sense if looking at my Sidereal and Draconic charts where it's either my Moon or Sun +stellium.

I THINK this is what OP means...can be wrong.

I suppose Lotis is right then saying that secondary houses fits because ruler of my moon is in Leo, ruler of my Dsc is in Sag.....and ruler of my 8H is Mars and I am still struggling with Virgo energy although I have gotten to like Virgo Moons but since it's Mercury influenced I guess the Gem makes sense too.

posted January 04, 2014 05:08 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Are the 5th and 8th the secondary houses, Lotis? And are you writing a book yet?

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Hi Hannaramaa,

What I meant above is that every house in our chart has a secondary house that goes with it that provides extra info about the original house in question. The 5th and the 8th are not 'secondary' to the 7th, but rather they have also (like the 7th) have secondary versions. The secondary version of any house is judged by the sign on the cusp of that house. For example, Aries on the cusp of a house = look at the 1st house for extra information on that house. Our 5th, 7th, and 8th houses all have their own secondary versions of themselves using this method.

To determine Secondary houses

Aries House Cusp… Look to the 1st House.

Taurus House Cusp… Look to the 2nd House.

Gemini House Cusp… Look to the 3rd House

Cancer House Cusp… Look to the 4th House

Leo House Cusp… Look to the 5th House

Virgo House Cusp… Look to the 6th House

Libra House Cusp… Look to the 7th House

Scorpio House Cusp… Look to the 8th House

Sagittarius House Cusp … Look to the 9th House

Capricorn House Cusp … Look to the 10th House

Aquarius House Cusp… Look to the 11th House

Pisces House Cusp… Look to the 12th House

posted January 04, 2014 05:30 PM              

Then you can check Juno. Juno actually points to the partner you need to commit. In a man's chart, it signifies the type of relationship he wants. Juno in a woman's chart signifies the wife she'll become. But i don't use it or read it as just a sign alone. I think it signifies the energy needed in the relationship for you (the woman) to become the wife you want to be and it is then where you stay committed. So it doesn't necessarily have to be that sign in your partner's placements.

posted January 04, 2014 05:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
For instance: I have Cap (my moon), Pisces and Aries in my 5/7/8 houses and Cancer(sun) in 11H ( SOME suggest 11H can be important in finding a partner) but it's VERY safe to say that I will never date ANY of these signs!! I have dated a few pisces with disastrous results.

What attracts me are the signs inconjunct to my signs; Leo, Gem, Sag and some Aqua or Uranian types. Also lots and lots of Scorpio which is my 3H and NN.

What's even more interesting is that the Gem and Sag makes sense if looking at my Sidereal and Draconic charts where it's either my Moon or Sun +stellium.

I THINK this is what OP means...can be wrong.

I suppose Lotis is right then saying that secondary houses fits because ruler of my moon is in Leo, ruler of my Dsc is in Sag.....and ruler of my 8H is Mars and I am still struggling with Virgo energy although I have gotten to like Virgo Moons but since it's Mercury influenced I guess the Gem makes sense too.

I have Gem in my 10H and Leo is in 1/2 of my 12H along with Virgo.

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Hi Charlie,

If you've read my threads you would know that I always look beyond the signs on the cusps of houses. I also pay attention to the what house and sign the cusp ruler is in, and what planets are in that house.

Once I've examined the original 5th, 7th, and 8th houses in detail, I'll examine the SECONDARY 5th, 7th, and 8th houses. If you look above to my response to hannaramaa you'll see how secondary houses are calculated (It's the house traditionally associated with the sign on the house in question).

Also, people are not always attracted to every part of their attraction pattern (5th, 7th, 8th house pattern). Rather they seem to latch certain parts of it depending on their experiences and natal set-up. It's not a one size fits all topic. It's a complex type of thing.

With Capricorn, Aries and Pisces on the 5th, 7th, and 8th houses, The 10th, 1st, and 12th houses would be your SECONDARY 5th, 7th, and 8th houses. These houses will provide extra information about your taste and the type of synastry you tend to attract.

Capricorn 5th = 10th is secondary 5th

Aries 7th = 1st house is secondary 7th

Pisces 8th = 12th house is secondary 8th

As a Libra rising your 10th, 1st and 12th houses usually have Libra, Cancer, and Virgo on the cusps (It may be different depending on your natal chart/ uneven house cusps)... Then you'd look at what the rulers of these houses are doing, and what planets are in these houses. Also take into account aspects to the rulers of these houses. A tight aspect to the rulers can give an attraction to the sign that is ruled by the aspecting planet... The house of the ruling planet can give an attraction to the sign traditionally associated with that house, or to people who have that house strong in their natal charts.

I examine the original 5th, 7th, and 8th houses just the same way as I examine the secondary ones.

May I ask what Saturn, Mars and Neptune/Jupiter are doing in your chart?

Edit.

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
I have Gem in my 10H and Leo is in 1/2 of my 12H along with Virgo.

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I just re-read your post and saw this part. Yes, If Gemini is on the 10th that would explain the attraction to Gemini energy rather then Capricorn. 5th house ruler in Leo explains the attraction to Leo. The Capricorn part of your 5th house may merely explain something about the style of courtship/approach that you like especially in the beginning of the relationship.

posted January 04, 2014 06:09 PM            

Charlie, yes, that's what I was thinking of. The sign on my 5th house cusp especially doesn't fit with the rest of my chart. Aside from my Ascendant, there's just nothing to support the synastry on my side. I often go for the ruler, Capricorn. Suits my Moon a lot better as well.

My 5th and 8th house ruler are in square, which makes it a bit of a problem. My 5th and 7th house go hand-in-hand for the most part, but then the kind of intimacy I'm looking for (8th house) is very different.
Lotis, good point about latching onto one part of the romance houses. I'm very attached to my 8th house.

Ahh okay, the 5th and 8th having a secondary house as well. They're Leo (11th house) and Scorpio (2nd house) for me, both rulers in their own sign. That definitely works for me and especially Scorpio fits in well with my chart. But again the rulers are in square. Uhh. Going by your theory on aspects to secondary house rulers, that'd put even more emphasis on Leo/Scorpio, right? Well, yes. You're right, there is a way to connect to all of the houses, I just didn't see it. Thank you! Recently, I realized that with two such powerful planets in square, I'd have to please both sides and find someone who has the square somewhere in their chart, as they'd understand the energy. Now this becomes double important.

Summerlite, thank you. Juno is very important for me as it conjuncts my 1st and 8th house ruler. I think this is why I latch so much onto my 8th house pattern - like Lotus suggested - and would project the rest. I don't know that much about Hera either, only that I have it in Cancer sextile my Venus-Juno conjunction.

posted January 04, 2014 06:20 PM              

5th house Virgo: like courtship to be respectful.
7th house Sag: Wants relationships and partnerships to be free, adventurous, and fun.
8th house Cap... Self explanatory

posted January 04, 2014 06:32 PM              

To really know what you want/need, you have to break down your own chart and understand what you are. Maybe if you have self-worth issues, a person putting planets in your 2nd/1st house would make you feel loved more than anything else.

posted January 04, 2014 07:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by summerlite:
The 5th/7th/8th house method points to a partner you will be attracted. You can expand through the secondary house method as mentioned by Lotis. (I don't attract or feel attracted to those signs though). Or you can expand through checking rulers of your 5th house and planets in your 5th house (repeat for 7th and 8th). (this works for me).

Then you can check Juno. Juno actually points to the partner you need to commit. In a man's chart, it signifies the type of relationship he wants. Juno in a woman's chart signifies the wife she'll become. But i don't use it or read it as just a sign alone. I think it signifies the energy needed in the relationship for you (the woman) to become the wife you want to be and it is then where you stay committed. So it doesn't necessarily have to be that sign in your partner's placements.

There's also asteroid Hera which I am still learning. It is sort of the partner you really need. I see a connection to this. But I can't explain further since I am new to it.

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posted January 04, 2014 08:34 PM            

1. The partner puts planets in these houses.

2. The partner aspects the cusp ruler with their planets (conjunctions are especially strong here).

3. The partner's natal chart is a SYMBOLIC match to the symbolism of one or more your love houses (Even without planets touching these houses). Example: You have an Aquarius Dsc and your partner has Sun conjunct Uranus (which could fall into any of your houses).

4. Your partner puts planets in your SECONDARY 5th/7th/8th houses.

5. Your partner aspects your SECONDARY 5th/7th/8th house rulers (especially with a conjunction).

6. Your partner's natal chart matches the SYMBOLISM of one or more of your SECONDARY 5th/7th/8th houses. Example: The ruler of your secondary 7th house is in Virgo, and you attract a Virgo Sun partner.

Depending on our experiences and the overall set-up of our natal charts we could find people who interact with these parts of our charts in a variety of ways, with many different types of synastry. If the sign on the cusp of one of our relationship house doesn't match well with the rest of our chart, maybe we'll be more attracted to the sign of the ruler of that house (rather then the sign on the cusp). Or we could be more attracted to the sign on the cusp of the secondary version of that house. Sometimes people are attracted to a combination of both. It just goes on and on.

Some extra things to take into consideration here are...

* When a partner puts planets in our relationship houses, it works best if these planets also aspect our chart in significant ways. Aspects = energy exchange. If there is no energy exchange there are no feelings! Another person's planet sitting in a relationship house, but not aspecting our chart, may not do anything much for us at all (despite being in a relationship house) because it doesn't press our buttons.

Aspects between planets show how, and if, we EXCHANGE ENERGY with another person. House placements, and house ruler connections, put a CONTEXT on the energy exchange. Houses show what areas of life are being touched by that person, through the aspects they share with us.

* When the partner's planets strongly aspect our natal planets in our own 5th/7th/8th houses, this too can help generate and support attraction. Although, I think some other factors that create attraction would need to be present as well here. This certainly can take things over the edge if those other factors are present, though (Reference the above six points). For instance, if we have Moon in the 5th house nataly, and someone aspects this with a super tight trine, it's like that person gives us permission to just let this side of us flow (The 5th is all about giving our love/energy/attention and celebrating something or someone).

* There is such a thing called PROJECTED HOUSE RULERS. Ceri did a thread on this quite some time ago. The theory here is that if when have, say, Mercury as our Dsc ruler, and we then receive strong Mercury aspects from the partner's Mercury, this can actually help create and support attraction. The reason for this would be that we are looking for Mercury type experiences in a relationship (If we have a Gemini Dsc), and if the partner aspects us strongly with their Mercury they are giving us the Mercury energy that we're looking for. If we had a Sagittarius Dsc we may like multiple aspects from the partner's Jupiter.

My take on the projected house rulers phenomenon is that it adds very much to existing attractions shown in the synanstry/house connections, but that by itself it's not likely to totally be responsible for a major attraction. It's more like icing on the cake.

Here's a link to the PROJECTED HOUSE RULERS thread. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/219108.html

* I've also noticed Vertex synastry to be very important in attraction. And often we may be attracted to people who exhibit the symbolism of our Vertex Axis. For example, if we have Pluto conjunct our Antivertex we may be attracted to strongly Pluto types. If our Vertex Axis falls on the Aries/Libra Axis we may be attracted to Aries or Libra, or even to someone who has this opposition in their chart (an Aries/Libra) opposition (With the Vertex Axis I've noticed that either end can attract us, if we favor one end over the other this is probably due to the rest of our natal chart).

Synastry wise, aspects to the Vertex Axis are extremely potent in attraction. The conjunction to either end of it is especially magnetic.

posted January 06, 2014 01:31 AM            

I wish I could post a synastry chart so I could ask for your help and follow what you're saying about this topic directly off the chart. How do you post a chart from astrodienst? If there is anybody here willing to help with this and with adding to this topic discussion?

posted January 06, 2014 02:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by micole maree:
I'm a newbie here and this is fascinating, but I'm so confused. So many new terms, new to me, I mean.

I wish I could post a synastry chart so I could ask for your help and follow what you're saying about this topic directly off the chart. How do you post a chart from astrodienst? If there is anybody here willing to help with this and with adding to this topic discussion?

Thanks in advance, if someone IS willing!

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Easy way to post charts is to join a site like Photobucket. Upload your images from your computer (you can save Astrodiesnt images on your computer). Then Photobucket gives you a selection of links to use when posting an image... Choose the 'img' link, copy and paste it into your message and your image will appear in the post. Note: the 'img' link gives you two types of link when you copy it. Delete the extra link and leave only the part in these types of brackets: [img]link[img].

I've done many threads on this topic. If you want to know more here are some of my other threads with more detail.

Links to Lindaland Articles

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PLANTONIC AND ROMANTIC SYNASTRY http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/221321.html

SYNASTRY OF ATTRACTION: WHY IT DOES OR DOESN’T WORK http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/216505.html

Quick reminder of Attraction Factors [apart from synastry] http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/217355.html

Unrequited Love http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/206782.html

posted January 07, 2014 04:29 AM            

I'll play with the photobucket thing and figure out whether or not I can post a chart.

posted January 07, 2014 04:18 PM            

Laying it out, see if I can talk myself through it. If you need the chart, I can post it for you later.

Thanks again, Lotis!

5th house: Aquarius
- NN and Part of Fortune inside
- Ruler Uranus in the 3rd, conjunct Saturn and Neptune in Capricorn. (Saturn rules my 4th house, Neptune my 6th)
- Also square Venus, opposition Jupiter and trine Mars.
Scondary house: Aquarius rules the 11th, which is Leo for me. Sun in the 11th square Pluto in Scorpio. No other aspects.

7th house: Aries
- Vertex in the 7th house
- Ruler Mars in Virgo in the 11th house
- Mars conj. Mercury. (Ruler of the 9th and 12th) Trine Saturn, Uranus and Neptune, sextile Jupiter, MC and Pluto.
Secondary house: Aries rules the 1st -> Libra. No planets here. Ruled by Venus in Virgo in the 12th (conjunct Juno).

8th house: Taurus
- Ruler Venus conjunct Juno in Virgo in the 12th
- Square Uranus and Jupiter, trine Moon, minor aspects to Chiron and Pluto.
Secondary house: Taurus rules the 2nd -> Scorpio, ruled by Pluto in Scorpio here. Square Sun in Leo. Sextile 7th ruler Mars, Saturn, Neptune, Moon and Mercury; trine Jupiter, Chiron and MC. Semisquare Venus.

Yes, I told you it were a lot of them.

Let me know if you need more info. It's just so much info it keeps me confused.

posted January 14, 2014 07:35 AM            

I'll still look forward to what you have to say on my attraction pattern.

posted January 16, 2014 01:00 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by meissieri:
Hi Lotis, sure. Just take your time until things have calmed down for you.

I'll still look forward to what you have to say on my attraction pattern.

I'm quite busy myself, so I'm sorry for the late bump.

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Hi meissieri,

Yeah I'll give it a looking into some time soon. In the meantime, want to post your chart?

posted January 16, 2014 06:24 PM            

Sure, here it is. If you don't mind, it's an old one with a few asteroids. I'll upload one without them if it's too messy for you to look at.

I thought it might be interesting as you've talked about Juno, Eros and Psyche before, which are included.

posted January 18, 2014 05:24 PM            

But I am really glad you're doing this for me as I could really use some advice on my relationships/attracting.

A couple of posts ago, I said I didn't know if I had a type yet. I think I do now, at least some of it.

For example, the highlight of a relationship for me would be getting to meet each other's family. First time staying over at each other's house. That kind of stuff. Very sentimental. When I fall for someone, I get very, very attached. Someone I can open up to emotionally completely and who makes me feel at ease doing so. Accepts me for who I am, including my intense emotions and sensitivity - also to them. Someone who is public about how they feel about me. Something long-term - my life is hectic and unpredictable enough as it is, I need stability.