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Author
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Topic: Aspects of unpopular people
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summerlite
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted January 28, 2014 06:51 PM
  
quote:
Originally posted by Enneline:
Yes, my friend's mother always crosses lines. She never respects anyone line's, doesn't stop if you say "Please that's my business only". She can fly into a frenzy when talking...to a point that she makes herself a fool...almost ridiculous.Yes, friction with women and/or the mother. They don't get along.
She has Moon cjt Mars/Saturn squaring 7H mercury. I suppose she comes across as very preachy. Did she work? IP: Logged |
Canadiangirl
Knowflake Posts: 883
From: Canada
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted January 28, 2014 06:54 PM
IMoppedtheFloor:
I do agree with you that popularity is due at times more to how much you can scare people - I know some people who get fawned over a lot and I think it's more because they fear what will happen to them if they go against the tide, so they play along. --This really hit home. I worked with someone who used fear to get many people to follow her. When I run into people fawning over someone and following them like a princess I always rebel. It kind of surprises me bc I'm a cancer sun and therefore sensitive but I can't blindly follow someone because they are 'scary' IP: Logged |
Enneline
Knowflake Posts: 6150
From:
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 28, 2014 06:54 PM
quote:
Originally posted by summerlite:
She has Moon cjt Mars/Saturn squaring 7H mercury. I suppose she comes across as very preachy. Did she work?
Absolutely. Preaching high moral standards. You may see the artistic talent in her chart (moon venus neptune connections) but instead of becoming an artist she became a medical assistant. Since her marriage she does the book-keeping for her husband's company. IP: Logged |
whaaat
Knowflake Posts: 599
From: Portland, MA,U.S
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 28, 2014 10:35 PM
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iliketurtles
Knowflake Posts: 379
From: 2099
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted January 28, 2014 10:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Canadiangirl:
IMoppedtheFloor:
I do agree with you that popularity is due at times more to how much you can scare people - I know some people who get fawned over a lot and I think it's more because they fear what will happen to them if they go against the tide, so they play along. --This really hit home. I worked with someone who used fear to get many people to follow her. When I run into people fawning over someone and following them like a princess I always rebel. It kind of surprises me bc I'm a cancer sun and therefore sensitive but I can't blindly follow someone because they are 'scary'
lol i go out of my way to be unpopular *hifives* while tr.pluto squared my venus and tr. uranus was opposed my MC and Venus, i had MAJOR issues with co-workers, my then boss and even strangers. i didnt mind my job so much, overall it wasnt so bad, it was other people that made it a nightmare. SR as well. not a great time there. i have a t-square between pluto/asc and mars. ive had to deal with my fair share of bullies in the past. i think it gives me a certain presence in a social situation. sorta magnetic yet sorta threatening. insecure people often see me as a threat. im a pretty happygolucky kinda gal...bubbly and friendly around strangers (except the creepy ones - if looks could kill, man, if looks could kill). at the times in my life when bullying intensified, i was a different person to what i am now. i was a big people pleaser, didnt like to step on anyones toes, certainly didnt bite people who should have been bitten, i was very meek as well which doesnt help matters much. i was very insecure and had minimal self esteem and self confidence. then i grew up and found my backbone and am completley ok with people disliking me, even if they do so for no reason. i am comfortable with asserting myself now and have become very good friends with my own inner ***** i became stronger and more confident just by standing up for myself (ironic much?). there was a time when the thought of having to tell someone to get ****** sent shivers up my spine, now it makes me feel giddy  IP: Logged |
iliketurtles
Knowflake Posts: 379
From: 2099
Registered: Nov 2010
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posted January 28, 2014 10:45 PM
oops sorry dpIP: Logged |
arcturiann
Knowflake Posts: 639
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 28, 2014 11:36 PM
Are we still on topic?I was going to mention first of all lots of retrograde planets seems to make one not really vibe well with their age related peers. Also, outer planets. Since outer planets are generational influences and reflect more collective group consciousness, lots of retrograde outer planets and/or hard aspects from outer planets, especially uranus as uranus is characteristic of people who just somehow don't "fit in" On the topic of the semantics behind the term "unpopularity" itself, I don't think you can characterize it as any one personality trait since it is dependent upon the majority opinion by definition, and thus each generation or group of persons will have different preferences towards which they agree upon. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9168
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 28, 2014 11:43 PM
Reading some of these posts I wonder if all of you even know what being unpopular truly means. It's not flipping off your boss or teacher just because you are bored 
That's just like, um, rebellion, man.
Unpopularity is when they hate you so much they want to tear you apart and throw your heart in a shredder.
I doubt anyone truly wants that.But if any of you truly want to experience it...I am sure there are plenty of people who have to put up with it day in and day out who would gladly trade places with you. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 28, 2014 11:50 PM
In my experience popularity comes from expanding a lot of energy towards others: calling them, keeping in touch, asking how they are, being nice/happy/sending them positive & friendly vibes, remembering their birthday, buying them presents they actually like for their birthday, initiating cool things to do together, giving them random bear hugs if they are touchy-feely, being a good listener and not judgmental, being generally supportive of their goals & aspirations, having a high tolerance for different people with different personalities and maintaining things casual and social with all of them --- as opposed to getting very close... etc... It's all about consistently treating other people well and putting a LOT of energy into each and every connection you have. Looks are mostly irrelevant, although I've noticed that average looking people who are maybe slightly *cuter* than a plain Jane/John.. tend to be more popular than drop dead gorgeous people, since they are non-threatening and very relatable. Basically.... imo popularity almost entirely depends on "How you make other people feel".
If they feel good - they come back for more. If they feel bad, they distance themselves. If they feel neutral around you, then they simply don't care.
If they have something to gain from you.. (e.g. you're a billionaire with multiple connections), as above - they come back for more!  So popular people usually: a) want to be popular Having an abundance of planets in the social signs: Leo/Virgo/Libra/Scorpio .. and/or the social houses: 5th/6th/7th/8th. b) work at being popular (networking etc.) e.g.
Saturn in Libra or Leo
Saturn in aspect to Venus
Saturn conjunct Jupiter in the 7th c) are either 'as focused' or 'more focused' on the people around them than they are on -themselves-. The social and transpersonal signs and houses! d) have a reasonable level of self-esteem (they don't expect others to 'reject' their friendship - hence they are open and try to befriend many people - and they also respond in a positive way when they are approached socially by others) e.g. Sun trine Mars in fire signs vs Sun in Cancer square Saturn. Unpopular people usually: a) are not strongly interested in being popular (it's not a primary goal) Having an abundance of planets in the personal signs: Aries/Taurus/Gemini/Cancer .. and/or the personal houses: 1st/2nd/3rd/4th. b) either don't have the ability/time or don't know how to "work" at being popular (e.g. they suck at networking) e.g. Venus in Aries (retrograde) in the 6th house and square Saturn in Capricorn. c) are more focused on themselves and their inner life, rather than the people around them (more introverted than extroverted) e.g. Many planets in Aries or in the 1st house. d) can have low self-esteem and be under the impression they wouldn't be liked (i.e. they would avoid approaching other people - and respond in an evasive manner when approached by others) e.g. Sun trine Mars in fire signs vs Sun in Cancer square Saturn.
Personally, I am popular during those times in my life when I have time for others and unpopular when I can't at all be bothered and I avoid people.
I go through phases when I'm too busy and overworked and I simply cannot deal with people at all. It could be my best friend and I still won't want them near me. I just feel drained and need space.
When someone complains about being unpopular in my experience they have a delusional idea about how a popular person acquires their "status". They seem to think that some people are just so amazing that they just draw others in.. but 90% of the time that's not the case. 90% of the time those people actively *work* at being popular every day.
I've also had the experience of interacting with people who were not at all willing to put in any effort whatsoever - to give something or do something *for* others... but they expected to simply be "popular" *shrug*
It seems narcissistic. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 28, 2014 11:56 PM
The most popular people I know at the moment - through Uni (College).. are an Aquarius guy, a Virgo girl with lots of Libra planets and a Libra guy with a Leo Moon and Scorpio planets.
Each of these people fits the patterns I described. Obviously we are not in HS though. In certain circles - with people who are either very young or very uneducated, I could see how bullies might become popular in virtue of physical strength and intimidation tactics. Although - come to think of it now.. the kinds of bullies people have mentioned here would be feared by their peers - almost like an 'authority figure'... as opposed to seen as "popular".
I think there's a difference. Popular figures are figures people *enjoy* - The most popular people in the world would have to be famous actors and musicians (and others in the entertainment industry) because they bring us so much enjoyment & distraction from the daily grind. IP: Logged |
Canadiangirl
Knowflake Posts: 883
From: Canada
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted January 28, 2014 11:56 PM
I don't have problems with popular people as it takes great people skills. My problem lies with people who abuse their skills/popularity to antagonize/cause other people pain. There is also a clear difference in perceptions between people who have been/are popular and ones who struggle with it. I don't think its as black/white as people are protraying it. A person's unpopularity can be as simple as the person being shy not that they are self centred. The 'unpopular' person tends to lack the social/people skills more than anything. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9168
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:06 AM
People who are popular and let it go to their head are annoying in a lot of ways because they have so much power and you know everyone is going to lavish them with attention and praise. It can make you squirm.
Do not confuse popularity with success.Even if one clique isn't thought of as popular in itself, there can be popular people within that clique that everyone kowtows to or are concerned about. The clique revolves around it's central figures. Sometimes, there can be competitors and trouble erupts within the ranks.
Just because the clique is unpopular among the mainstream does not mean it lacks a hierarchy within its ranks. There's a certain popularity enjoyed by members of any group...or lack thereof, regardless of what group it is. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:09 AM
quote:
People who are popular and let it go to their head are annoying in a lot of ways because they have so much power and you know everyone is going to lavish them with attention and praise. It can make you squirm.
Do not confuse popularity with success.
^^ hmmm well people actually do not lavish anyone with praise and attention unless that person/individual improves their personal life... e.g. their favourite singer improves their life by providing good music... or their most liked supermodel improves their life by sparking all those nice positive neurological signals we get in our brains when we look at pretty pictures of pretty people we are attracted to IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9168
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:12 AM
Status is very important to people, or coolness. If someone is regarded as cool, they can become popular within their clique based on this alone. They are cool and everyone agrees. Best not mess with coolness.IP: Logged |
arcturiann
Knowflake Posts: 639
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 29, 2014 12:13 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StarlightSmileSupreme:
Reading some of these posts I wonder if all of you even know what being unpopular truly means. It's not flipping off your boss or teacher just because you are bored
That's just like, um, rebellion, man.
Unpopularity is when they hate you so much they want to tear you apart and throw your heart in a shredder.
I doubt anyone truly wants that.But if any of you truly want to experience it...I am sure there are plenty of people who have to put up with it day in and day out who would gladly trade places with you.
I think you are confusing the term "unpopular" with "notorious" IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9168
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by arcturiann:
I think you are confusing the term "unpopular" with "notorious"
Knowing what I know, if some magical fairy godmother gave me a choice between being worshiped by all who breathe or kicked and spit at, I would choose the worshiping without hesitation. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:18 AM
quote:
If someone is regarded as cool, they can become popular within their clique based on this alone.
I've never noticed this at all and I'm around very large groups of people in different circumstances, not just at University.
I'm also part of a smaller "group" but no one in particular is extra popular. I don't feel more or less popular than anyone else in this group o_O Popularity is completely based on how hard people try to be popular. The most popular out of the three I mentioned above is the Virgo girl - and she actually admits to really *working* at it. She always says she's a big advocate of networking. quote:
I think you are confusing the term "unpopular" with "notorious"
^ I see what you mean. IP: Logged |
arcturiann
Knowflake Posts: 639
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 29, 2014 12:20 AM
I also want to make a point that there are many people who are popular that don't try to be, i.e someone who comes from a rich family, looks beautiful, well liked for other reasons, etc. A lot of "popular" people I knew were also the cool levelheaded types that didn't exactly try to reach out to people but were popular because of their personality or appearance.On the flip side, there are also people i've known who have tried to be popular but still remain unpopular, despite doing everything seemingly right. Sometimes its because they have some sort of stigma or taboo associated with them, such as coming from a poor family, having a disabled brother, or being too overly friendly that they came off as a "try-hard" rather than "cool". I have also met people who were unpopular at one school, change schools and become popular at a different school without changing their personality, attire, etc.
Edit: For example, a kid who is unpopular at one school for having a disabled brother moves to another school, where the students instead displayed tremendous sympathy and altruism for the disabled brother and thus making him popular by association. Therefore I reiterate that "popularity" is determined by the populus , not the individual, which is why I associate it with the outer generational planets. IP: Logged |
StarlightSmileSupreme
Knowflake Posts: 9168
From: neptune
Registered: Nov 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:23 AM
Odette,Different kinds of popularity exists. For some, it's "networking" which is going out and talking to as many "important" people as possible so everyone knows them. These are like candidates running for office. They go out, shake hands, introduce themselves and talk to people.
Then there are people who just want to be popular among those they know and they don't try to get to know everyone. They don't want to. They might be snobby toward others but those in their clique could worship them and they are content with it. Certain others might not know them or like them much but they still experience popularity among those who do. So they experience a different kind than the more "public" popularity of the ones who network like mad. Both types experience the same thing only differently
Which is one of my favorite contradictions, btw. Then there's the unpopular people who have no friends and are vulnerable since they aren't part of a group. They have trouble networking because people are not receptive to them for whatever reason. It might be due to circumstances beyond their control, or it could be due to something they could change but won't for some reason. So they just experience the unpopular state, grumbling the entire time. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:25 AM
quote:
f some magical fairy godmother gave me a choice between being worshiped by all who breathe
That goes back to what I was saying - about delusional ideas regarding *how* popular people achieve their status... as though it is as easy as waving a magic wand. This Virgo girl (I'll be honest) is not good looking.
She is NO bully - at all... and she is not exactly what I would call "cool" (but once again, we are not in HS).
But she really makes an effort with every single person.
I don't remember bumping into her *once* - and not seeing her with a huge smile on her face, always friendly and always polite and sweet towards me - and towards absolutely everyone. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 12:28 AM
quote:
Then there are people who just want to be popular among those they know and they don't try to get to know everyone. They don't want to. They might be snobby toward others but those in their clique could worship them and they are content with it. Certain others might not know them or like them much but they still experience popularity among those who do. So they experience a different kind that the more "public" popularity of the ones who network like mad.
Oh ok.. I see what you mean. I was thinking about a broader popularity, rather than just within a small group. IP: Logged |
Jessica2407
Moderator Posts: 5151
From: Saturn
Registered: Sep 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 01:45 AM
Okay I haven't read the whole thread.That's what I think: There are one category of people that started off by being the shy,reserved,nerdy kinda of person that nobody wants to hang out with, the one that feels too mature for their age, that takes a lot of responsibility when they were young and they go through high school and uni by being the ones that go around unnoticed. Nobody wants to go out with them, it's not a big thing if they don't attend parties. Bah, nobody goes crazy if they are in the room lol. This same kind of category of people then grow into someone very different as they grow older, not that they grow into someone who particularly enjoy popularity ,but they gradually acquire more finesse,and they find themselves suddenly socializing with others. That's what social sun signs would do.Then there is another category of people that secretly wants to hang out with the popular ones,they want to be recognized,validated,their company sought after but end up being rejected and bullied through out their adolescent lives.They will either grow out of it or they will carry the wounds of humiliation for a long time through their adult lives. I automatically think of strained aspects with chiron and neptune that could be the fautif. Even if these people attain a certain popularity in their lives, they would always fear the pain of rejection.I have both on my ascendant. I have never been bullied in my life,but I was the quiet unpopular girl in both high school and uni, I did NOT care at all TBH, it suited me fine, I love to hang out with my shadow most of the times...hmm..no, not quite at uni though...at university everybody knew me, but I didn't consider myself to be popular nevertheless I think I was.. So IDK, there is no one aspect that guarantees unpopularity or popularity.Mars/neptune,venus/neptune,sun/neptune could work by elevating someone's popularity. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 12072
From: Wankety Wankerson
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 29, 2014 02:46 AM
People never cease to amaze me. What has always tickled me about people is how they have to believe that they are good and right. You can tell who the popular people are who have had easier lives in this thread because they are saying things like " you aren't putting yourself out there" or "it's self inflicted". People falsely assume that the world is always fair and if bad stuff happens to you you must be lazy or an ******* . The reality is the world is rarely fair and bad things happen to good people all the time. There are tons of people who are treated poorly and rejected by their peers despite trying hard to fit in. IP: Logged |
summerlite
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Jun 2014
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posted January 29, 2014 02:57 AM
Only insecure people care so much about popularity. They need to grab on to people to stand on their sides to feel important.
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arcturiann
Knowflake Posts: 639
From: Titan
Registered: Jun 2013
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posted January 29, 2014 03:24 AM
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