posted June 18, 2014 05:51 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Yanmorg:

I feel the same exact way.

My logic behind it all is why wouldn't you want to give your all?

or better yet...

Why can't you give your all?

Love is beautiful and should be expressed as much as possible.

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You would, but not from the beginning. I think I'll re-read the second book I told you about, it was enlightening for me at the time.

posted June 18, 2014 05:56 PM            

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
^ Same thing here, I've never felt feminine or girly, and it's always been a huge concern for me. I honestly talk/act in a 'masculine' way often, if I'm being completely myself. I don't have all the girly manners, the cute smiles and the hair flips, I'm actually quite blunt and pushy and very matter of fact, especially if I trust someone and am not afraid to be 'myself' around them. Unfortunately that means that usually the guys that are attracted to me are the complete opposite - very passive, effeminate and not sure of themselves. Oh I do have that side to me as well, maybe it's a projection...

But yeah the self-esteem issues are my biggest problem.

Though in my case I'm sure it has lots to do with my parents, no doubt about it.

Exactly...
I've actually lost a lot of my empathy, compassion and ability to love because of that. Now I'm so wary of people that I'd rather sabotage myself with them rather than let them sabotage me... I can't trust men and I have sadistic tendencies if I get too close to one, well that's how I feel, I don't usually act on those feelings but they're certainly present. It may sound terrible but when you look around and see what's going on, it really is a an awful sight.

I am trying now to let go of all the sh*t and emotional baggage I have, but you guessed it, it's not easy.

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I wish we didn't have these issues, but it honestly feels refreshing knowing I am not alone or imagining these things..

AND YES.

I always attract the quiet, passive ones too! I always thought it was just a coincidence or something, but now that you mention it, it's probably becausr I'm the total opposite like in your case. WOW.

As far as you talking and expressing yourself in masculine ways, I am the same way. I have mercury retrograde and my Ascendant is on the cusp of Taurus/ Gemini at 27 degrees so you can imagine how forceful and aggressive I am with communicating!

Plus, with all that mars... it's terrible..

How do you dress if you don't mind me asking?

What colors are you attracted to?

I love the femme fatale look. I love the heels, black leather, etc but I find that when I go shopping, I buy the usual boyish jeans anc t-shirt.

I promise myself every time I go to the mall that I would start wearing heels and exploring my sexuality, but I find comfort in not getting dressed up!

Were you obe of the guys in school?

posted June 18, 2014 06:00 PM            

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Originally posted by maira:
Finally, someone with nice parents for a change, how refreshing!
You could begin by reading a lot on the subject, "Women who love too much" comes to mind. Or "Why men love B*tches", don't let the title fool you, it's a good read

Doux, thank you very much!

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I am definitely going to check these out!

I'm sure they'll be very entertaining and eye-opening at the same time.

How did they help you?

posted June 18, 2014 06:02 PM            

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Originally posted by Venusian Moon:
Neptune, saturn, & uranus.

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Although not very detailed, this explains a lot surprisingly.

Too many different energies?

Maybe my personality isn't one set way so I'm often restless and dissatisfied in most of my relationships?

That's where my moon-uranus square kicks in where I get restless and unconsciously sabotage my current relationship?

It could very well be all of these things..

Hmm.. something to think about.

posted June 18, 2014 06:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Yanmorg:
I wish we didn't have these issues, but it honestly feels refreshing knowing I am not alone or imagining these things..

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I hear you.

quote:

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I always attract the quiet, passive ones too! I always thought it was just a coincidence or something, but now that you mention it, it's probably becausr I'm the total opposite like in your case. WOW.

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Nah nah, not a coincidence! Haha. + and - attraction.

quote:

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As far as you talking and expressing yourself in masculine ways, I am the same way. I have mercury retrograde and my Ascendant is on the cusp of Taurus/ Gemini at 27 degrees so you can imagine how forceful and aggressive I am with communicating!

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I have an early Gemini ASC and Mercury retro, as I said you were born a few days after me. Our charts are really similar.
I do have a Libra Venus so I can be quite pleasant in my speech as well, but it's not the only side I have, and sometimes people are surprised, lol.

quote:

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How do you dress if you don't mind me asking?

What colors are you attracted to?

I love the femme fatale look. I love the heels, black leather, etc but I find that when I go shopping, I buy the usual boyish jeans anc t-shirt.

I promise myself every time I go to the mall that I would start wearing heels and exploring my sexuality, but I find comfort in not getting dressed up!

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I can relate somewhat. I am very, very modest/ordinary with the way I dress. I like black and grey or brown colors. It's because I don't like drawing too much attention to myself, and I'm afraid of my own attractiveness. I don't want to be seen as a sexual object, but at the same time, I end up feeling very invisible and unattractive, too.
I have no fashion sense whatsoever, but I don't really care about it most of the time. However seeing other girls being all dressed up and pretty can make me feel uber insecure. Mostly I just choose not to think about it but sometimes I get very upset.

quote:

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Were you obe of the guys in school?

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No, I always had a group of girl friends, but I was always the odd one out, never talked about guys or love or sex, I was always a sort of outcast (Saturn in the 11H).
I was also incredibly scared of guys.

quote:

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Sorry for all of the questions.. I'm just very curious.

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posted June 18, 2014 06:13 PM            

you are actually answering a lot of questions that I have been struggling with for years by revealing certain aspects of yourself.

It must be because our charts are so similar.

I never understood why I would get upset and jealous looking at other girls dress up and look pretty because I could very well do the same..

I would notice the pattern of me wanting to look a certain way, but then buying clothes that would send a completely different message..

It's because I'm not comfortable with being attractive.

I think it hits me a little harder with my Venus in Scorpio.

At least your Libra Venus feels at home.

My Scorpio Venus won't let me be a girly girl!

posted June 18, 2014 06:16 PM            

I think we should be able to give someone our all instead of having to hold back in fear of being hurt. But all my past experiences say that I will end up getting hurt no matter what.

posted June 18, 2014 06:25 PM            

I'm glad you're getting some clarification about yourself by talking with me. It's quite cool.

I have my progressed Venus in Scorpio, conjunct Pluto and square Saturn, all very tightly.
My natal Venus trines Saturn, and believe me, it's not an "easy" aspect whatsoever, to me it feels like a hard one (but perhaps it is the progressed square).

You at least, with a Scorpio Venus, should be able to get attention pretty easily! There's a lot of magnetism with a Scorpio Venus... But that doesn't mean relationships are easy, as you know.

bansheequen,

I knowww. Isn't it crazy that there are so many people, women especially, struggling with such things?

Wow I can relate to you a lot. Well, I don't get into relationships easily at all, because I have too many insecurities and trust issues, but I tend to be unstable because I'm too afraid of being fuked over so I have an urge to mess things up before they can do it. Yeah, it's quite predictable.

posted June 18, 2014 06:54 PM            

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Originally posted by fishbull11:
I would say all of that Scorpio energy that some touched base on particularly Scorpio Venus is a true lover and gives that all in relationships that unfortunately like you have found doesn't get reciprocated well enough from men out there. I would say seeking out a man with cancer or pisces in personal or dominate planets such as sun, moon, ascendant, mars or venus will help in that reciprocating department. Also though I would say they have to be rather evolved (maybe a fair amount older) as I've seen you harping on cancer Mars males on here and honestly probably for very good reason (though they have the ability to very much give and reciprocate relationship wise). Its not easy to find a strong capable man which loves you back hard or strongly which is why I said it takes a rather evolved person to blend a combo of strong and capable yet loving and able to give satisfactorily to their partner. Strong and capable tends a males ego to swell and then its 'what are you going to do for me time', hardly a recipe for reciprocation and the shallow seeking and attracting type.
I think you will be just fine, a lot us don't get in right in the relationship department till a little later in life and seeing others who get it right early on (or appear to) wears on a romantic soul. He'll come along and now you are very in touch with what you are looking for right, that's half the battle right there, good luck.

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Thank you.

You definitely hit some key points!

I only know of one Cancer male with Venus in Taurus who would actually measure up, but we have Venus square Saturn in our synastry despite also having Venus trine Saturn, Venus trine Uranus, and Venus trine Neptune so he's 300 miles away! Our friendship is beautiful and he could very well be the one I'm looking for, but then again, maybe not. We dated for awhile until he moved back in 2011.. I'm just waiting until he returns again.

You hit it right on the head when you said seeing people get it right early must be hard on a romantic soul! Yes indeed.

It's almost as if the people who can do without a deep love, always gets it easily and the people who live and breath romance and love, can't even find a stable relationship.

posted June 18, 2014 07:04 PM            

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Wow I'm feeling kind of depressed all of a sudden.

Seeing that there's so much sh*t out there really wears on me... Gosh, no wonder I choose to live in my own bubble, away from all the BS.

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Oh man.. I know how you're feeling.

It always hits me unexpectedly.

I wish I had some words of encouragement, but knowing how I am when I get into a rut, only my thoughts alone can change my mood.

I would try not to stay idle or stagnant.

Go running!

Watch a good movie and eat something delicious.

That's what helps me a lot of the time.

I feel for you.

posted June 18, 2014 07:11 PM            

Don't give too much of yourself without expecting in return. It's a two-way street and there are a lot of takers out there. Take care of you, too.

I have a highly idealized image of love and romanticism. Just don't settle. Be true to yourself. You can't be the only one that wants it--there are others, and you will find Him. Until then, be yourself, be happy. Cultivate yourself. Learn. Broaden your mind. When your perfect guy shows up, you, too, will be his complete package and have much to offer.

posted June 18, 2014 07:31 PM            

It's really late here, so I'mma go to sleep soon.

I'll meditate just before going to bed; it's a new habit I'd like to incorporate in my life - meditation, when I get up and before going to bed. =)

I hope you're feeling okay now.

banshee,

I know what you mean.

Interesting point about Water Moons & Water Suns. I've been thinking about what kind of person could put up with that kind of behavior (the intensity and fear), and I'm really not sure. I know that Cancer Moons can be pretty accepting and loving, but perhaps a bit too clingy and needy themselves.
At any rate, it definitely should be an evolved person.
And in order to attract such a person, one has to be evolved, too. That's the thing...
Oh and yeah, 6H overlays in synastry often point to inequality. :/

Iv

foxxy, your post made me giggle.

posted June 18, 2014 08:03 PM            

We'll sometimes people help people evolve. As long as you find someone understanding enough to put up with all the bad stuff.

posted June 18, 2014 08:12 PM            

Yes, it goes back to feeling like you need to give something. Be needed, feel useful... It's fu*king dumb and I hate that. I mean, there are plenty of people who don't do sh*t for their S.O. and they're treated like royalty... While the people who are giving and caring are taken for granted and walked all over... It's really aggravating.

Like, you have to go against your very nature to actually have a chance of being happy, it seems.

posted June 18, 2014 08:16 PM            

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
That makes sense, banshee.

Yes, it goes back to feeling like you need to give something. Be needed, feel useful... It's fu*king dumb and I hate that. I mean, there are plenty of people who don't do sh*t for their S.O. and they're treated like royalty... While the people who are giving and caring are taken for granted and walked all over... It's really aggravating.

Like, you have to go against your very nature to actually have a chance of being happy, it seems.

I'm definitely not going to end up in misery though... No way. I won't let that happen no matter what. I don't want to be a victim, I don't want to be taken for granted, or be used. Fu** that.

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posted June 19, 2014 12:24 AM            

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Originally posted by maira:
I am currently dealing with the same issues (a transit maybe) and I think that the key is in forgiveness, mainly in self-forgiveness. Somehow, you decided that you were unlovable unless you were perfect, so you strive for perfection in your relationships, but most people are not that close to perfection. That does not mean they don't care, it's just how they are, but to the perfectionist, every less-than-perfect behavior, no matter how big or small, is seen as a betrayal (Scorpio is all or nothing and well, life is about shades of grey). Forgive yourself, love yourself, and accept yourself for who you are. Everything else will fall into place. What were your parents discontent about in you or your personality when you were a kid? That is what you must work on to accept about yourself. Mine were very unhappy that I wasn't a boy, but meh, tough luck

This was mainly a note to self, I hope it helps you too

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posted June 19, 2014 12:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:

Originally posted by Yanmorg:
Were you obe of the guys in school?

No, I always had a group of girl friends, but I was always the odd one out, never talked about guys or love or sex, I was always a sort of outcast (Saturn in the 11H).
I was also incredibly scared of guys.

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posted June 19, 2014 09:05 AM            

What's the condition of your Mars? And Sun?
Those stand for men in women's charts, so.