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Author
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Topic: Aspects that would lead to constant disappointment in relationships
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Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 11:35 AM
  
Ever since I was younger, I craved to be emotionally close to my friends and boyfriends.I have always ended up getting heartbroken, cheated on or betrayed in some way by those closest to me. I am 100% loyal and dedicated to the one I'm with, but I never got that in return. I have Sun, Mercury(r), Venus, Jupiter, and Pluto in Scorpio ALL in my 6th house. My mars is in Sagittarius (7th house cusp). My Ascendant is in Taurus (27 degrees). My mars is opposite my ascendant, conjunct my descendant. I have Uranus and Neptune in my 8th house. My moon in Libra is in my 5th house. My moon is square uranus and neptune. My mars is conjunct pluto. My Sun is conjunct pluto. my saturn is square pluto. my moon is trine saturn. The ruler of my 7th house is Sagittarius. My true node is in my 7th house. Am I doomed? Will I ever be able to settle in a committed relationship? I feel like all of the aspects and placements mentioned above hinders me from experiencing what I crave so very badly.. an intimate relationship. IP: Logged |
fairaqua
Knowflake Posts: 600
From:
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted June 18, 2014 12:03 PM
Where is your rahu/ketu (nn/sn)IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 12:04 PM
My nn is in my 7th house. IP: Logged |
fairaqua
Knowflake Posts: 600
From:
Registered: Feb 2011
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posted June 18, 2014 12:11 PM
Is it in conjunction with mars? I think these two in the same house may come across as aggressive in relationships... and not necessarily in a physical way. IP: Logged |
la_mer
Knowflake Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 18, 2014 01:18 PM
you have a lot of 6th house planets.. do you sacrifice your own happiness to keep a partner/keep a friendship? do you literally do anything for your inner circle? maybe that's something you need to learn with all that 6th house (virgo) influence in your chart, I mean you probably like to serve/be useful and some humans just don't have your best interest in mind. to be honest: learn to say "no", trust your instincts when you feel like people are lying to/using you - you are a scorpio, use your gut feeling! this may sound harsh, but these people come into your life and walk all over you because you let them. but you are not doomed little one *hugs* IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 01:20 PM
Wow. You hit it right on the head with that one.I have noticed that I do sacrifice a lot for others and I never get the same in return. It's almost as if giving comes so naturally to me that I don't even realize I'm being used until after it's all said and done. IP: Logged |
la_mer
Knowflake Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 18, 2014 01:35 PM
I need to learn that stuff too, have south node in libra, so don't worry, we all need to find that out at some point.  I mean you have had saturn all over your personal planets for the last two years, this must be soo intense! lots of changes and lots of lessons right?IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 01:38 PM
Yes! Too many to count.Plus, chiron is all over my personal planets along with Pluto. These past 2 years have been painful, exciting, liberating, restricting, etc. My mind and emotions have been all over the place. I just hope 2015 offers some stability and calmness. I'm burnt out and the year isn't even over it! IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 3174
From: AC conjunct Jupiter-Uranus
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted June 18, 2014 01:44 PM
Where is your chiron? 7th? 11th? What sign and what aspects??IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8553
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 18, 2014 01:47 PM
Perhaps (unconsciously?) you believe that in order to be loved, you have to do something, or provide something, like support, material stuff, doing things for them, etc.I have almost the same chart as you and that's how it is for me, unfortunately. I have a hard time believing that someone could genuinely like me just for being me, I feel like I have to be useful in some way or else they'll lose interest, etc. You should work on that Mars/ NN. More assertiveness, more drive, more independence. Not relying on others too much, always being sure of where you stand; have some clear goals for yourself. Don't lose yourself/ your identity in someone else or in a relationship. I don't think you're doomed!
Keep positive, don't settle for less, work on yourself - if you feel that some areas need some fixing, fix them; try to accept people as they are, don't try to change them, don't hope for them to change either. Use discrimination, apply logic, don't get too wrapped up in your feelings.
And love yourself. Make sure you really want a loving relationship, and set that intention - you gotta be completely sure that's what you want to attract. You could try meditation & relaxation, so that you can create that vibration of peacefulness, love and acceptance... Don't worry about it and don't forget - the future doesn't have to be a repetition of the past. Keep the faith and don't get stuck in heart-break or negativity (Sag NN). Best wishes to you. ~
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Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 01:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by amelia28:
Where is your chiron? 7th? 11th? What sign and what aspects??
Chiron in Virgo, 4th house. Chiron Q Sun (0.10) Chiron < Moon (0.49) Chiron sextile Mercury (0.07) Chiron sextile Venus (4.09) Chiron square Mars (5.46) CHIRON SQUARE TRUE NODE (4.39)
IP: Logged |
la_mer
Knowflake Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 18, 2014 01:52 PM
well, you have made it this far and you're still standing  saturn will come up to your dsc and go retro right over it in 2015, so the lesson isn't done yet, especially regarding relationships (7th house), but don't worry, you're being taught how to handle that - the beauty of saturn.  IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 01:57 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Perhaps (unconsciously?) you believe that in order to be loved, you have to do something, or provide something, like support, material stuff, doing things for them, etc.I have almost the same chart as you and that's how it is for me, unfortunately. I have a hard time believing that someone could genuinely like me just for being me, I feel like I have to be useful in some way or else they'll lose interest, etc. You should work on that Mars/ NN. More assertiveness, more drive, more independence. Not relying on others too much, always being sure of where you stand; have some clear goals for yourself. Don't lose yourself/ your identity in someone else or in a relationship. I don't think you're doomed!
Keep positive, don't settle for less, work on yourself - if you feel that some areas need some fixing, fix them; try to accept people as they are, don't try to change them, don't hope for them to change either. Use discrimination, apply logic, don't get too wrapped up in your feelings.
And love yourself. Make sure you really want a loving relationship, and set that intention - you gotta be completely sure that's what you want to attract. You could try meditation & relaxation, so that you can create that vibration of peacefulness, love and acceptance... Don't worry about it and don't forget - the future doesn't have to be a repetition of the past. Keep the faith and don't get stuck in heart-break or negativity (Sag NN). Best wishes to you. ~
That's exactly how I feel! It took me a long time to learn this aspect of myself because it's a cold hard truth that I would rather not accept. Before this realization, I always felt like it was my duty to take care of the people I love, but then after they used me for everything they could, they would leave me with nothing. It's a never-ending cycle. I always feel used and betrayed because I can't understand why someone wouldn't want to go above and beyond for the people they care for (me). But then I also realized that maybe they didn't actually care at all and just stuck around to use me. My moon-neptune square really hinders me from seeing people for who they are. Thank you! You are always willing to help me with so many of my questions and I appreciate that. IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 01:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by la_mer:
well, you have made it this far and you're still standing saturn will come up to your dsc and go retro right over it in 2015, so the lesson isn't done yet, especially regarding relationships (7th house), but don't worry, you're being taught how to handle that - the beauty of saturn.
What does it all mean? Transit Saturn on my descendant? IP: Logged |
la_mer
Knowflake Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted June 18, 2014 02:03 PM
saturn transits into sag in winter and goes retro back into scorpio, your asc is at the end of taurus, so your dsc (cusp of your 7th house) is at the end of scorpio. grandpa saturn will spend some time on these degrees. look up the ephemeris to know, when it's all over your 7th house cusp.. http://www.astro.com/swisseph/ae/2000/ae_2014.pdf oh and another thing, if your birth time is correct, your asc is close on a lovely fixed star called algol, maybe this rings true for you, maybe not: http://darkstarastrology.com/algol-medusas-head/ IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 02:14 PM
Thank you!IP: Logged |
Venusian Moon
Knowflake Posts: 1912
From: Nyc
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 03:39 PM
Neptune, saturn, & uranus.IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8553
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 18, 2014 03:45 PM
I know what you mean, Yanmorg.Gladly, you are still young and are already noticing the patterns in your life. Some people are well older than you and still don't know what their problem is; or they're unwilling to deal with their issues. You seem to be open to introspection and change, therefore I am sure you will succeed. You're very welcome, I guess you remind me of some aspects of myself, so. =) IP: Logged |
maira
Knowflake Posts: 1139
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 18, 2014 05:17 PM
I am currently dealing with the same issues (a transit maybe) and I think that the key is in forgiveness, mainly in self-forgiveness. Somehow, you decided that you were unlovable unless you were perfect, so you strive for perfection in your relationships, but most people are not that close to perfection. That does not mean they don't care, it's just how they are, but to the perfectionist, every less-than-perfect behavior, no matter how big or small, is seen as a betrayal (Scorpio is all or nothing and well, life is about shades of grey). Forgive yourself, love yourself, and accept yourself for who you are. Everything else will fall into place. What were your parents discontent about in you or your personality when you were a kid? That is what you must work on to accept about yourself. Mine were very unhappy that I wasn't a boy, but meh, tough luck This was mainly a note to self, I hope it helps you too IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8553
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 18, 2014 05:22 PM
maira  Very good point. I hope you guys will overcome the obstacles on your way to self-acceptance and love. And I hope I will, too.  IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 221
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted June 18, 2014 05:27 PM
Ugh me too. I do everything and sacrifice everything for the one I love it hurts when I see them holding back. Even if it's about something stupid.I think it's your 6th house. And if you do give that much to someone they're eventually going to take you for granted. And I know that if you don't give your all it won't feel like real love an devotion right? I'm kinda wondering about the same issues too. Like I know logically I should hold back and set boundaries. But all I really want is to give someone all of me. I think it's possible for you to have a good relationship. As long as you find someone understanding and as self sacrificing as you are. Also. In this society most people cheat and lie and try to get away with whatever they can get away with. People just feel like they are entitled to whatever they want. It's. Matter of finding someone who isn't like that which is hard in this world. IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 05:29 PM
I get asked that question a lot on here and I have no idea why.It puzzles me every time! My parents are the only people who accept me for who I am and love me unconditionally. I have Sun square Saturn natally and I do notice how this plays out with the relationship with my father. He's very stern and controlling sometimes, but underneath all of that, he has a heart of gold. My parents always showered me with lots of love abd never made me question my worth. It's the outside world that's cruel! I used to get teased when I was younger.. I was very quiet and shy as a kid.. My cousins treated me bad at some point, too. Maybe that's the childhood trauma you guys see in my chart because it definitely didn't come from my parents' end by a long shot. Unfortunately, I do feel like I'm not pretty enough, girly enough or interesting enough to keep someone, but that's only because disappointment after disappointment keeps happening. Ever since I was younger and became interested in guys, they would always run from me! Then a few months later, I would find out they're happily involved with someone else! Mind you this is after stringing me a long for a year or less (different relationships) without an official title! Seeing the same thing happen over and over eventually convinced me that obviously I'm not as pretty and awesome as I think because if I was, those guys would've stayed with me and made me their girlfriend instead of pouring their hearts out to the next female who seems like she has it all together. I don't know whether it's my Venus in Scorpio or all of my mars aspects, but I have never felt soft or womanly. Sometimes I feel sexy, but a lot of the time, I don't feel girly. Rough and aggressive would be two words to describe the way I feel deep down. I have some serious self-esteem issues.. I do not know how to work through them though.. Especially with all of those disappointments.. IP: Logged |
maira
Knowflake Posts: 1139
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 18, 2014 05:42 PM
Finally, someone with nice parents for a change, how refreshing!
You could begin by reading a lot on the subject, "Women who love too much" comes to mind. Or "Why men love B*tches", don't let the title fool you, it's a good read  Doux, thank you very much! IP: Logged |
Yanmorg
Knowflake Posts: 482
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted June 18, 2014 05:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by bansheequeen:
Ugh me too. I do everything and sacrifice everything for the one I love it hurts when I see them holding back. Even if it's about something stupid.I think it's your 6th house. And if you do give that much to someone they're eventually going to take you for granted. And I know that if you don't give your all it won't feel like real love an devotion right? I'm kinda wondering about the same issues too. Like I know logically I should hold back and set boundaries. But all I really want is to give someone all of me. I think it's possible for you to have a good relationship. As long as you find someone understanding and as self sacrificing as you are. Also. In this society most people cheat and lie and try to get away with whatever they can get away with. People just feel like they are entitled to whatever they want. It's. Matter of finding someone who isn't like that which is hard in this world.
I feel the same exact way.
My logic behind it all is why wouldn't you want to give your all? or better yet... Why can't you give your all? Love is beautiful and should be expressed as much as possible.
IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8553
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted June 18, 2014 05:46 PM
^ Same thing here, I've never felt feminine or girly, and it's always been a huge concern for me. I honestly talk/act in a 'masculine' way often, if I'm being completely myself. I don't have all the girly manners, the cute smiles and the hair flips, I'm actually quite blunt and pushy and very matter of fact, especially if I trust someone and am not afraid to be 'myself' around them. Unfortunately that means that usually the guys that are attracted to me are the complete opposite - very passive, effeminate and not sure of themselves. Oh I do have that side to me as well, maybe it's a projection...But yeah the self-esteem issues are my biggest problem. Though in my case I'm sure it has lots to do with my parents, no doubt about it. quote:
Originally posted by bansheequeen:
Also. In this society most people cheat and lie and try to get away with whatever they can get away with. People just feel like they are entitled to whatever they want. It's. Matter of finding someone who isn't like that which is hard in this world.
Exactly...
I've actually lost a lot of my empathy, compassion and ability to love because of that. Now I'm so wary of people that I'd rather sabotage myself with them rather than let them sabotage me... I can't trust men and I have sadistic tendencies if I get too close to one, well that's how I feel, I don't usually act on those feelings but they're certainly present. It may sound terrible but when you look around and see what's going on, it really is a an awful sight. I am trying now to let go of all the sh*t and emotional baggage I have, but you guessed it, it's not easy.
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