posted July 04, 2014 05:16 PM              

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
There are enough miserable and screwed up people in this world, don't you think? Bringing a child into existence is a great responisibility and not every reason is a good reason. If you don't understand it then perhaps you're a little too egoistic. They're not toys nor they should be treated as a means to an end or some kind of crutch. A child deserves parents who truly want to be parents and are ready for it.

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I understand and I am selfish.

Don't you think you would be great mother facing your sense of responsibility?

posted July 04, 2014 05:16 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
I think what you have in mind is what other people have set in their life goals; right man, right time, right space etc.

But,as soon you'll find out, life does not follow a set plan.

You mentioned that you have a Virgo rich chart; this would explain why you want to be adequately "prepared" for a child. You view children as a whole lot of responsibility.

Have you thought of how much fun children can be? Yeah sure, the responsibility part is there. But what if it only makes up 20% and the rest is pure joy?

And the other reason that you said that you wanted kids is; "so that you can have someone to take care of you when you grow old" Really???

What if you outlive all your children? It can happen you know?

I think people who are more sensitive to life's subtleties and the importance of an individual soul,become frightened if they don't see themselves "fit" enough to be the caretaker of any soul-never-mind one they partook in manifesting into physical existence..

But,what if I told you that,from a bigger spiritual perspective, you'd never assume all the responsibility?

That loving your children from your own understanding is totally enough? That there is no-one put up there tallying up a score on how well you do as a parent?

That the role of motherhood is just an expression of the part of you that you wish to explore.And not what is "expected" at all by anyone. Let alone your BIGGER parent.

Nothing is ever "broken", "lost" or "damaged" or "wasted": Not forever. Not ever even.

Take it or leave it- either way is fine. What matters most is that you feel that whatever decision you make is making the highest announcement about WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Nothing else.

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I would feel like my life is ending if I get a child. Everything would be about that child. I couldn't move from my home, my love-life would die - I hear that from everyone who got kids. Their love life dies.

posted July 04, 2014 05:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Orange:
You have Saturn in the 5th ( doesn't want own children or fears them) but your Neptune is there too. You are going to adopt children, and many of them, at that. a whole group, perhaps. It's your calling. Better start preparing from now...learn how to baby talk and sing lullabies...

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I can't wait.

posted July 04, 2014 05:22 PM            

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And the other reason that you said that you wanted kids is; "so that you can have someone to take care of you when you grow old" Really???

What if you outlive all your children? It can happen you know?

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Also, there's no guarantee that one will have a good relationship with their children. Which might result in them not being willing to help in any way or even visit.

posted July 04, 2014 05:28 PM            

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Don't you think you would be great mother facing your sense of responsibility?

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You mean that I'm responsible? No, I don't think I'd be a great mother. How could I be if I don't even want to be one? I could be a good provider but I'm afraid that's not enough.

posted July 04, 2014 05:31 PM              

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
You mean that I'm responsible? No, I don't think I'd be a great mother. How could I be if I don't even want to be one? I could be a good provider but I'm afraid that's not enough.

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posted July 04, 2014 05:41 PM            

Speaking of the self-serving reasons many have children...

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
How would you feel if you found out your parents had you just to have a free nurse in the future?

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If I'd been had for this reason then maybe I'd have been treated better growing up. As it is many parents can rightfully assume that they'll be disposed of at the hospice forgotten with their property taken before they even die if they can manage it. Lots of old people go out that way, it's horrible, though I wonder how many of those who do were treated horribly and just as callously when they were being raised, too. Karma is a ***** , though those placing their aging parents in a modern day oubliette to forget about them may find their own lives ending in similar despair.

I understand in some parts of the world sons are expected to take care of aging parents as the parents once took care of them...it's one reason why they prefer sons to daughters. And even here in America there was a time that it wasn't uncommon to have children more for the free exploitable child labor than for any more noble reasons than that. I was taught foraging skills as a child (even learned to make polk salad when I was 13 which included cooking it enough times so that the toxins in it wouldn't kill me) which comes from a practice that kids were used for a lot of labor (all that energy) but were only allowed scraps so that they often had to forage. This changed around the 1950s, I guess, though the attitude of "we gave you life, we own your sorry butt" lingers in more subtle ways (and the skills are still passed down).

Still, better than parents who had kids a century ago just so they could send them to the harsh factories and sweatshops only to take the measly pay from the kids worked so hard they had no energy to resist which probably went to buy booze before feeding the kids.

posted July 04, 2014 05:49 PM              

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
Are you implying I might accidentally get pregnant?

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posted July 04, 2014 05:50 PM            

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
I can't wait.

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posted July 04, 2014 05:53 PM            

Most of the time I never wanted to give birth to kids, however. Though I did have moments of "temporary insanity" where I did (and didn't want a father and I didn't consider that selfish, I considered that protective on my part as I wanted to spare them the divorce pain I knew, among other things--neither would I have accepted child support either). I know it was biological as there was a mood that came with it plus a strange compulsion for chocolate. Luckily I resisted.

posted July 04, 2014 05:58 PM            

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Originally posted by Enneline:
That could be the case.

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Hahah. You see, I'm a special case. I don't even know if I'll ever have sex. It's more likely that I won't. And even if I do, I'll make sure to be well protected. I also have a condition that tends to affect fertility. And if I'm still unlucky there is always abortion. There, I said it

posted July 04, 2014 06:29 PM            

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Most of the time I never wanted to give birth to kids, however. Though I did have moments of "temporary insanity" where I did (and didn't want a father and I didn't consider that selfish, I considered that protective on my part as I wanted to spare them the divorce pain I knew, among other things--neither would I have accepted child support either). I know it was biological as there was a mood that came with it plus a strange compulsion for chocolate. Luckily I resisted.

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Reason over hormones! Ovulation can do this to women, ugh.

I think it's best for a child to have 2 parents but if I try to apply it to my life with all possible scenarios...A breakup would suck for a child indeed, although not as much as witnessing a toxic relationship of their parents. Besides, I dislike the idea of being friends with an ex and having a child with someone would bind me to him forever. What if he acted like a jerk? I always want to have the option to cut someone out of my life, especially when it comes to an ex. Sooo I'm not gonna throw a stone at you.

posted July 04, 2014 06:44 PM            

And I know I sound like a jerk now, but if I got a handicapped child I would feel like it was a bigger burden than I was willing to take…

And in theory even if your child isn't going to be handicapped, it could still become a criminal, a mental ill patient and all those sort of things that would just be sad to witness as a parent…

posted July 07, 2014 07:51 AM              

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Originally posted by I'm so cappy:
How come? You have a daughter, Lindaland

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posted July 07, 2014 07:52 AM              

Sag Moon in the 11th conj Neptune and SN. I will probably adopt.