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Author Topic:   Strong dislike for passive and unassertive men
Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted July 23, 2014 07:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What aspects or placements would make for a woman to abhor passiveness and unassertiveness in a man? I believe Mars has something to do with it, but what else?

I get constantly irritated with guys who can't take charge and who give off an indecisive air about them--whether it's friends or lovers. I can stand friends better, though, because duh, they're my friends. I get impatient with guys who don't know what they want. I feel like I'm more attracted to guys who have that alpha male quality in them. The thing is, I have Mars in Libra. This is like the total opposite of my Mars placement.

------------------
Gemini Rising
Sun in Leo (2nd house)
Moon in Cancer (1st house)
Mercury in Virgo (3rd house conj.)
Venus in Virgo (3rd house)
Mars in Libra (5th house)

"You were born a lion. Don't die
a sheep." ~ Leos ♌️

http://learnfromthestars.blogspot.com

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Leorpio
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posted July 23, 2014 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Leorpio     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Is your mars further afflicted? Because its already in detriment. I have Mars in Libra too but I'm not indecisive with girls luckily. Libra mars is quite frustrating though when you ARE indecisive.

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted July 23, 2014 08:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^ My Mars is opposite Saturn and square Neptune. Although those are the only two harsh aspects to my Mars, I think it's afflicted considering Saturn touched it in a tight opposition.

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BellaFenice
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posted July 23, 2014 08:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BellaFenice     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ITA!

Hmm..these are the aspects in my chart that probably contribute to it.

Sun square Mars, Pluto square Mars, Pluto square Sun

Venus square Mars

I need a man, not a whipping boy! lol. To be fair, most men can't handle my energy. so its partially my fault.

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amelia28
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posted July 23, 2014 08:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for amelia28     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think all women like assertive guys right?? and I think everyone dislikes passive agressiveness but it happens...

Perhaps your question is what mars placements and aspects will give me an assertive guy?

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starrynight
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posted July 23, 2014 09:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starrynight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars and Sun, according to the classic theory, but I think it's more complicated.
Because I have a Sag Mars and a Scorpio Sun. I'm supposed to like a macho man. Yet I don't. I like confidence in a man, but not the super-assertive type. If a man is too much of an "alpha male" and seems to take charge every time we immediately start butting heads. Funny thing, the sign I've had it worst with was Capricorn.

Though maybe the Jupiterian quality of Sag energy explains it: Jupiter is benevolent, after all. And even though my Mars has a wide (more of a symbolical one actually) opposition to Moon, it has no other harsh aspects.

What I can't stand is an emo guy: a pessimistic, whiny, overly melancholy and cautious character. Decisive or not--bores me to tears.

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MagnumJoe
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posted July 23, 2014 09:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MagnumJoe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
What aspects or placements would make for a woman to abhor passiveness and unassertiveness in a man? I believe Mars has something to do with it, but what else?

I get constantly irritated with guys who can't take charge and who give off an indecisive air about them--whether it's friends or lovers. I can stand friends better, though, because duh, they're my friends. I get impatient with guys who don't know what they want. I feel like I'm more attracted to guys who have that alpha male quality in them. The thing is, I have Mars in Libra. This is like the total opposite of my Mars placement.


Hmmm... I really don't know. I got Libra mars and at some point in my life, i thought i was indecisive. But i turned out to be a bit laid back and carefree

Also, i have:

Cap sun
Leo moon
Mars sextile Jupiter
Mars sextile Asc
Mars sextile moon
Cap, Mercury, Jupiter in 1st house.

So i am a mix of being VERY assertive and being slightly chilled

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NYCdodger
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posted July 23, 2014 10:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
What aspects or placements would make for a woman to abhor passiveness and unassertiveness in a man? I believe Mars has something to do with it, but what else?

I get constantly irritated with guys who can't take charge and who give off an indecisive air about them--whether it's friends or lovers. I can stand friends better, though, because duh, they're my friends. I get impatient with guys who don't know what they want. I feel like I'm more attracted to guys who have that alpha male quality in them. The thing is, I have Mars in Libra. This is like the total opposite of my Mars placement.


Your Mars in Libra explains it

I have Mars in Taurus and I can't stand slow people! Planets reflect our likes and dislikes so when it's in detriment it may reveal what we don't like in others

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NeptunianSag
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posted July 23, 2014 10:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NeptunianSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You know what? I feel the exact same, I have an afflicted mars which is the 7th house ruler (retrograde) in cancer. This would point to liking men who are passive, sensitive, but it is quite the opposite. I just feel frustrated with this placement because honestly, with my sag, aqua and libra placements I need a man who's direct but not controlling. It's sad because I attract passive wimps who don't tell me what it is they want and this makes me suspicious like they are up to something which annoys the sag in me to hell. I need to know where I'm standing because I hate being messed around. Being indescecive and passive myself, sometimes I need a man to give me a few nudges in the right direction so i know where I stand. Passive men make me feel stuck and frustration builds because it makes me think they are messing me around. Also vagueness in a man is frustrating. Passiveness just leads me to think they are playing games and I don't have time for that.

JUST DO SOMETHING AAAH

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starrynight
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posted July 23, 2014 11:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starrynight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by NYCdodger:
Your Mars in Libra explains it

I have Mars in Taurus and I can't stand slow people! Planets reflect our likes and dislikes so when it's in detriment it may reveal what we don't like in others



This is a super interesting theory. I have Venus in fall (in Virgo) which is also afflicted, and I would never date a guy whose romance/relationship style was Virgo-like. It is just not attractive to me. Yet the traits of my Mars, whose position is much stronger and healthier in my natal chart, attract me in other people.

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NYCdodger
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posted July 23, 2014 11:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NYCdodger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by starrynight:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by NYCdodger:
[b] Your Mars in Libra explains it

I have Mars in Taurus and I can't stand slow people! Planets reflect our likes and dislikes so when it's in detriment it may reveal what we don't like in others



This is a super interesting theory. I have Venus in fall (in Virgo) which is also afflicted, and I would never date a guy whose romance/relationship style was Virgo-like. It is just not attractive to me. Yet the traits of my Mars, whose position is much stronger and healthier in my natal chart, attract me in other people. [/B][/QUOTE]

Yep. Planets that are detriment are super charged. But the focus in internal instead of external. So as a Mars in Taurus when I see my detriment ways in others it ticks me off, even though I'm probably the same lol

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Geeky
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posted July 24, 2014 12:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I get constantly irritated with guys who can't take charge and who give off an indecisive air about them--whether it's friends or lovers. I can stand friends better, though, because duh, they're my friends. I get impatient with guys who don't know what they want. I feel like I'm more attracted to guys who have that alpha male quality in them. The thing is, I have Mars in Libra. This is like the total opposite of my Mars placement.


I have Mars in Libra too & I agree.

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PixieJane
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posted July 24, 2014 12:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just so y'all know, the definitions can differ between people. For example, some think of the alpha male as a go-getter...say like Captain Kirk (but not Spock or even McCoy). But others define the alpha male as a loser hiding his insecurities and his failure behind a facade of being loud, obnoxious, and prone to violence...and some women really do like the latter kind, they say they play head games with guys trying to get guys to smack them down and even "not take my crap."

Though sometimes it gets funny to me, like women saying they want a guy to take care of them and I'm thinking she wants a father figure type of lover, but no, what she wants is a man who will do what she wants (preferably without her having to say, he should be psychic enough to know) and give her anything so she doesn't want a caretaker or guardian or sugar daddy, she wants a slave (but then there are some girls raised as Daddy's Little Princess so maybe it's still wanting a father figure).

Though however you define it, most women (be it biology or upbringing) do want a man to take charge and responsibility (for her as much as himself), for better and for worse, so I don't see a point in trying to pinpoint a placement anymore than trying to pinpoint a placement for what women prefer their man has his own car or home. What would be unusual is a woman wanting a passive man, or even a not so passive man who isn't so bossy with her (such as an artist obsessed with his work rather than her). Now if this were asking why someone insists on Type A instead of Type B then that would make more sense because plenty of women prefer Type B, just as plenty of others prefer Type A.

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starrynight
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posted July 24, 2014 01:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starrynight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'd say if a woman wants a slave she definitely isn't into alpha males. xD

And if we assume that (not the slave thing but the alpha male thing), there are still different types of energy. Cold and controlling is one thing, hot-tempered and belligerent is a totally different can of worms. Or placements, in our case.

Besides, wanting an assertive man can spring from different motivations. One woman wants a man who'll take charge and responsibility. Another wants an assertive man because she's assertive herself and she likes a man who won't give in easily. For some, a mating dance means taking care sweetly and steadily, for others, it's pretty much a deathmatch.

Imagine that alpha male with a Leo feel, a Taurus feel, a Capricorn feel--totally different guys, aren't they?

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted July 24, 2014 03:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by starrynight:
Another wants an assertive man because she's assertive herself and she likes a man who won't give in easily.

EXACTLY what I'm saying. I'm this type of girl. It's not that I don't like guys who show emotions--those kind of pathetic losers that hide behind a tough exterior. On the contrary, I do like men who open up even with that tough personality they show. I don't mind it as long as they knows how to keep their **** together.

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Comatoes
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posted July 24, 2014 03:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Comatoes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe Saturn in angular house, sign, aspects like Sun/Saturn, Saturn/Moon, Saturn/Mars, Sun/Pluto, Sun/Mars, Mars/Pluto. Sun, Mars, Saturn are the planets that represent fathers, husbands, and all other males in general. Check your Moon decan, duads, dwads see what signs they're in.

Most women will not okay passive men as a viable partner if asked. The majority of women want assertive men, not so much brutish/aggressive more ambitious, and not scared of their own manhood; unless she has some weird thing going on with men in general -- dominatrix or likes to humiliate weak men or something entirely different.

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aquaguy91
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posted July 24, 2014 04:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
DP

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aquaguy91
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posted July 24, 2014 04:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dp.

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Comatoes
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posted July 24, 2014 04:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Comatoes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting aquaguy, you're not the first man I heard this from, so I'm not surprised. So do you think all this comes down to communication and a lack of understanding on both ends?

I always felt that men and women really don't know anything about each other, and that is why the majority of relationships are so confusing -- too much expectations.

I'm curious what is your definition of assertive man in a relationship?

My definition is more along the lines of a man who is in control of themselves but also has no problems with cooperating with the opposite sex to come to a solution together. That no one is taking advantage of each other's power.

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aquaguy91
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posted July 24, 2014 04:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
What aspects or placements would make for a woman to abhor passiveness and unassertiveness in a man? I believe Mars has something to do with it, but what else?

I get constantly irritated with guys who can't take charge and who give off an indecisive air about them--whether it's friends or lovers. I can stand friends better, though, because duh, they're my friends. I get impatient with guys who don't know what they want. I feel like I'm more attracted to guys who have that alpha male quality in them. The thing is, I have Mars in Libra. This is like the total opposite of my Mars placement.



Are you assertive? Are you decisive? Or are these qualities you look for in others because you lack them yourself?

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hannaramaa
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posted July 24, 2014 04:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's common for women to be attracted to alpha males. Women want to feel safe by the person they're partnered with and alpha males fulfill that need. Hence I'm not sure how much of this is astrologically inclined, but I'll indulge. As an Aries and you being a Leo, I think it also has to do with not being able to run someone over. Fire signs like people who can stand up to them and passive people don't cut it.

My Mars is in a mutable sign. I can see why because I have so much strong energy in my chart my Mars balanced that out by being in a mutable sign AND a mutable house. Right there I have a knack for getting the unclear, vague, unsaid feelings. Then I have Pluto in the 5th and personally, Pluto will magnetize the energy of whatever house it's in. My 5th is ruled by Libra - there's more of the wishy-washiness. At least Libra is a cardinal sign so eventually a decision is made, it's just not very clear because my already subdued Mars is furthered in the 12th house. Finally, Neptune in the 7th squaring my Sun, Mercury, and Venus but trining my Moon.

Basically, it's in my nature to attract passive and feminine men because I naturally express alpha qualities. I'm supposed to learn how to rely more on my feminine qualities (seeing as how my Moon is the only thing positively aspecting my 7th house stellium) and intuition and feelings rather than taking on the "man's role" which Aries women just assume naturally.

Eventually I just shrug and know eventually I'll meet someone it works with, and don't worry about it too much.

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aquaguy91
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posted July 24, 2014 05:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aquaguy91     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Comatoes:
Interesting aquaguy, you're not the first man I heard this from, so I'm not surprised. So do you think all this comes down to communication and a lack of understanding on both ends?

I always felt that men and women really don't know anything about each other, and that is why the majority of relationships are so confusing -- too much expectations.

I'm curious what is your definition of assertive man in a relationship?

My definition is more along the lines of a man who is in control of themselves but also has no problems with cooperating with the opposite sex to come to a solution together. That no one is taking advantage of each other's power.



No,
I think men try to talk it out but most women just won't hear it. I think women are raised from birth to be selfish when it comes to relationships. Basically they expect a man to nurture them like a parent would a child. Whether it be emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually.. It really doesn't matter which... But most women expect men to baby them in some way or another.. Which is fine! But... When women are imagining their perfect man and their expectations for him his humanity gets lost in the process,.. Basically women want a man that doesn't exist. They want a man who will let them cry on his shoulder but they weren't equipped to deal with him, his pain, and his insecurities.. So when a man's humanity comes out they toss him away and continue their search for the man of their dreams. So basically this puts men in a sticky spot... Conform to what woman wants or be replaced.. Its that simple... So men put on an act... I see so many men who are in relationships or married and most of them are stifled and miserable.. Men are not allowed to cry, complain,be insecure, or have an opinion contrary to the woman's for that matter... But hey! The woman is happy and that's all that really matters right? Most men in relationships are puppets.. The woman pulls his strings and he dances.

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted July 24, 2014 05:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Are you assertive? Are you decisive? Or are these qualities you look for in others because you lack them yourself?

In relationships, yes. I'm assertive. Which is why it really frustrates me when guys don't put as much effort into the relationship as I am. It gets on my nerves and I get really impatient. Then I just get sick of it and eventually leave.

But other things, it only depends if I'm into it or not. Decisive, not so much.

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LucieLemonade
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posted July 24, 2014 05:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LucieLemonade     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:

Are you assertive? Are you decisive? Or are these qualities you look for in others because you lack them yourself?

I dont' know about SLQ, but I look for these because I myself lack them. I'm very much a go with the flow kinda girl, so ONE of us should know which direction we are going!

I also have a Libra Mars. I hate it!

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Aries23Degrees
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posted July 24, 2014 07:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You have Mars in 5th house- the "attraction" mode and that is where your liking for the "macho" guys comes from.

Its placement in Libra suggests that the "machoness" that you are drawn to is someone who knows how to pick battles and assert themselves appropriately.

But I doubt you would appreciate a bully or someone whom picks fights with all those around them.

Mars in very macho, but when it is in Libra,the sign of reasoning and looking at both sides, it is in the gentleman sign.

Libra here stands up for what is ,at-least in their minds, "right". And they can be relentless at this.

I have Mars in 6th in Libra and since the 6th house is connected to Mercury,I can't stand mental passivity/apathy or "weak" reasoning.

When people fall back on stereotypes and warped reasoning for motivations of why they do what they do,it drives me nuts!!!

I can be very argumentative,even arrogant, with my opinions of how things "should" be done(Mars in 6th)

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