posted August 07, 2014 12:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hannaramaa:
Yeah it makes sense. You basically want them to be objective and step outside their own perception of how they think you feel. My Pisces friend assumes stuff about my emotions all the time that's completely wrong. I just correct her every time. It's just training your friends how to respond to you, I guess. Water signs aren't incapable of being objective but I think it's harder for them to think that way.

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posted August 07, 2014 12:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm not meaning to stereotype signs, I probably should have thought more and worded the name of this thread less harshly, sorry!

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Don't worry Gabby.
Just a pointless attempt to stir trouble is how I see it.
But I think everyone knows that you were just wanting to understand but have frustration that you needed to vent.

posted August 07, 2014 01:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Don't worry Gabby.
Just a pointless attempt to stir trouble is how I see it.
But I think everyone knows that you were just wanting to understand but have frustration that you needed to vent.

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posted August 07, 2014 01:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I always thought the reason I didn't turn selfish due to the pain id been through was because of the water influence in my chart....maybe it's not, maybe it's more of the libra dominance?
Maybe I've just misunderstood water signs? For some reason I thought their depth of emotions gave them depth of understanding and endless empathy....I never thought they would be the ones to turn cold. Idk...

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posted August 07, 2014 01:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Could be. That makes a lot more sense. Libra is the sign of partnerships and can be quite selfish when in need. Going completely cold is the reaction after feeling completely mutilated, like your whole heart was ripped out, ran over and then spit on by people you thought you trusted and let in. The grudges, mistrust and loss of emotions follow right after.

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You have both a lot of water n libra, do you feel you ever turned selfish? To me you don't seem like that at all but your happy....when you weren't, if you weren't did you stay open to others needs or close down?

To me the ones that have done this the most in my life have a water sun or moon sign and usually either mars or Venus or both in water also.
All the combos so far that turned cold to others...and admitted it!
Saggy Sun/pisces Moon/scorp Venus
Cancer Sun/aries Moon/cancer Venus
Gem sun/cancer Moon/cancer Mars and Venus
Leo Sun/scorp Moon/cancer Venus
Cancer Sun and Moon/pisces Mars/aries Venus--he was the most childish, selfish, manipulative person I've ever met!!
Leo Sun, cancer Moon, scorp AC and Venus
There's more!
None had any libra, that I know of....maybe libra placements help keep their ability to love alive or at least a need to stay balanced?

posted August 07, 2014 02:40 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Never. Even when I dated the douchiest of all douche bags I still put him first. That's one thing that I'm proud of myself for having, total selflessness. I stay open to others needs to certain level, I don't allow myself to be used anymore. I'm sure my family probably views some motives as selfish, and I let them, I don't care honestly. I know who and what I am that's more than enough for me.

You've dealt with A LOT of water, that's crazy, mixed with some crazy sun signs. I just can't do Cancer Men, the women I can only take so much of LOL Now I'm getting why you feel the way you do. I'm sure your sons are total sweethearts.

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I appreciate that stayed open to others also....I'm giving my respect to libra for that!! Lol, it just feels appropriate!
Yes, I've dealt with some odd characters, a couple are family, the others were either ppl I dated, my ex husband or so called friends....one of which has put himself back in my life and again irritating me with the say one thing, proclaim depth and feeling and then do nothing to back it up. It just makes no sense.

posted August 07, 2014 02:49 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:

How do you get a water person to hear you without seeing everything through their emotions??

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posted August 07, 2014 03:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
For me, I am water dominant, and it's due to being hurt by the most important people in my life. It's like an open wound that just won't ever heal. I can't explain how overwhelming it is.

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I was like that when I was a teen.
It heals and you'll become stronger and much more experienced in dealing with your emotions and people's emotional expectations.

posted August 07, 2014 03:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm sorry water signs, but you guys expect so much of ppl but you don't give much emotional understanding for their feelings...why???

Don't tell me I'm dealing with immature water signs because I've seen it over n over again from every water dominant person I've met.
The only time it's different is when the person has another sign equal or overpowering their water.

I don't have a lot if water so I'm able to set my feelings aside for others and listen to them, understand them and adapt for them. You guys are supposed to be the emotional ones that understand feelings, but it only seems you understand your own feelings....n you forget to try to understand anyone else's!!
Why?? What do we say to you to get you to see our feelings are just as important and meaningful as yours??

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People come to me when they are down, I hug them and take them out for coffee and talk..I suck all their negative emotions and give them some of my "positive" emotions.. But I must admit, it is draining after a while..so I would need time alone to recharge my heart..

posted August 07, 2014 03:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
one of which has put himself back in my life and again irritating me with the say one thing, proclaim depth and feeling and then do nothing to back it up. It just makes no sense.

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posted August 07, 2014 03:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm sorry water signs, but you guys expect so much of ppl but you don't give much emotional understanding for their feelings...why???

Don't tell me I'm dealing with immature water signs because I've seen it over n over again from every water dominant person I've met.
The only time it's different is when the person has another sign equal or overpowering their water.

I don't have a lot if water so I'm able to set my feelings aside for others and listen to them, understand them and adapt for them. You guys are supposed to be the emotional ones that understand feelings, but it only seems you understand your own feelings....n you forget to try to understand anyone else's!!
Why?? What do we say to you to get you to see our feelings are just as important and meaningful as yours??

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Sounds more like expectations, then a general observation. You are expecting all Water signs to have emotional understanding, but that is like saying all Earth signs are suppose to be stable and sound or that all Air signs are detached and intellectual, this is not true. Just because you have a element dominant doesn't mean you mastered how it works. IMO we are born into the elements we have, because we haven't mastered something in our soul path. For people born with Water dominate, they may have had a less emotional understanding in a prior life and now is suppose to work on these themes in this life. Having a element dominate doesn't guarantee traits found in cookbook astrology.

Another thing is fate, Liz Greene talks about this, how the people we drawn in are a part of this growth and healing. That some circumstances in our life can be shadow material that keeps surfacing because we truly are not addressing the problem directly.

You indicated that you are able to adapt and understand feelings, but you are seeing emotions from a Air viewpoint. Air is clear and defined, Water is not. Air has a great need to be understood and to be heard. Air can be selfish when it comes to their own responses, ideas, and what they are thinking. They want other people to join in and to bounce off all these thoughts, when they don't get this audience they get agitated. That is why Water and Air clash, the whole way they communicate is very different. Water does well with Earth because Earth receives Water and nourishes Water and vice versa. Air evaporates Water and makes it less responsive.

In order to understand the Water element in people you might want to be more observant with symbolism, body language, tone of voice, undercurrents, what things are left unsaid, and then some...this is how some Water dominated people receive and respond to emotions. Another is synastry, find some Water people who have Air and Fire in them, that will create a better match.

IMO, signs don't tell me anything as to why a Water dominated person is cold or has no empathy, you need aspects and houses for that. Saturn aspects, Moon/Saturn, Chiron aspects etc. all need to be looked at to see why a Water dominated person is not understanding of others.

posted August 07, 2014 03:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Comatoes:
Sounds more like expectations, then a general observation. You are expecting all Water signs to have emotional understanding, but that is like saying all Earth signs are suppose to be stable and sound or that all Air signs are detached and intellectual, this is not true. Just because you have a element dominant doesn't mean you mastered how it works. IMO we are born into the elements we have, because we haven't mastered something in our soul path. For people born with Water dominate, they may have had a less emotional understanding in a prior life and now is suppose to work on these themes in this life. Having a element dominate doesn't guarantee traits found in cookbook astrology.

Another thing is fate, Liz Greene talks about this, how the people we drawn in are a part of this growth and healing. That some circumstances in our life can be shadow material that keeps surfacing because we truly are not addressing the problem directly.

You indicated that you are able to adapt and understand feelings, but you are seeing emotions from a Air viewpoint. Air is clear and defined, Water is not. Air has a great need to be understood and to be heard. Air can be selfish when it comes to their own responses, ideas, and what they are thinking. They want other people to join in and to bounce off all these thoughts, when they don't get this audience they get agitated. That is why Water and Air clash, the whole way they communicate is very different. Water does well with Earth because Earth receives Water and nourishes Water and vice versa. Air evaporates Water and makes it less responsive.

In order to understand the Water element in people you might want to be more observant with symbolism, body language, tone of voice, undercurrents, what things are left unsaid, and then some...this is how some Water dominated people receive and respond to emotions. Another is synastry, find some Water people who have Air and Fire in them, that will create a better match.

IMO, signs don't tell me anything as to why a Water dominated person is cold or has no empathy, you need aspects and houses for that. Saturn aspects, Moon/Saturn, Chiron aspects etc. all need to be looked at to see why a Water dominated person is not understanding of others.

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Yes exactly.

It is not about why water signs are such and such why fire signs are such and such. If we go about it using these kind of stereotypes nothing good will come out of it. ALL signs CAN be selfish. Water signs are predominantly emotional, and very manipulative, earth signs are predominantly materialistic,stubborn and fixed so are fire signs in their approaches in all fields of life. SO ALL these signs can be very selfish. The aspects the planets make, the houses, the delineation of planets, the placement of Jupiter,synastry aspects all contribute to the reason why a water sign may not be receptive to another person's emotional expression, since we do not express our emotional needs the same way.

posted August 07, 2014 04:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Is it the gem sun?

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posted August 07, 2014 04:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
I have experienced the same thing Gabby so you are not alone on this one.

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posted August 07, 2014 04:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by usc277:
People come to me when they are down, I hug them and take them out for coffee and talk..I suck all their negative emotions and give them some of my "positive" emotions.. But I must admit, it is draining after a while..so I would need time alone to recharge my heart..

I truly believe being a water sun is a blessing. I feel superior to others, I can see through them and my intuition is spot on most of the time.
The downside is that I know only water signs suit me..won't fall in love with you unless your mostly water.

Sometimes I wish all my planets were water. Im your friendly neighborhood water man !

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posted August 07, 2014 04:26 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Comatoes:
Sounds more like expectations, then a general observation. You are expecting all Water signs to have emotional understanding, but that is like saying all Earth signs are suppose to be stable and sound or that all Air signs are detached and intellectual, this is not true. Just because you have a element dominant doesn't mean you mastered how it works. IMO we are born into the elements we have, because we haven't mastered something in our soul path. For people born with Water dominate, they may have had a less emotional understanding in a prior life and now is suppose to work on these themes in this life. Having a element dominate doesn't guarantee traits found in cookbook astrology.

Another thing is fate, Liz Greene talks about this, how the people we drawn in are a part of this growth and healing. That some circumstances in our life can be shadow material that keeps surfacing because we truly are not addressing the problem directly.

You indicated that you are able to adapt and understand feelings, but you are seeing emotions from a Air viewpoint. Air is clear and defined, Water is not. Air has a great need to be understood and to be heard. Air can be selfish when it comes to their own responses, ideas, and what they are thinking. They want other people to join in and to bounce off all these thoughts, when they don't get this audience they get agitated. That is why Water and Air clash, the whole way they communicate is very different. Water does well with Earth because Earth receives Water and nourishes Water and vice versa. Air evaporates Water and makes it less responsive.

In order to understand the Water element in people you might want to be more observant with symbolism, body language, tone of voice, undercurrents, what things are left unsaid, and then some...this is how some Water dominated people receive and respond to emotions. Another is synastry, find some Water people who have Air and Fire in them, that will create a better match.

IMO, signs don't tell me anything as to why a Water dominated person is cold or has no empathy, you need aspects and houses for that. Saturn aspects, Moon/Saturn, Chiron aspects etc. all need to be looked at to see why a Water dominated person is not understanding of others.

---

posted August 07, 2014 04:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Jessica2407:
Yes exactly.

It is not about why water signs are such and such why fire signs are such and such. If we go about it using these kind of stereotypes nothing good will come out of it. ALL signs CAN be selfish. Water signs are predominantly emotional, and very manipulative, earth signs are predominantly materialistic,stubborn and fixed so are fire signs in their approaches in all fields of life. SO ALL these signs can be very selfish. The aspects the planets make, the houses, the delineation of planets, the placement of Jupiter,synastry aspects all contribute to the reason why a water sign may not be receptive to another person's emotional expression, since we do not express our emotional needs the same way.

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posted August 07, 2014 08:44 AM            

Gabby, you said:

I understand when ppl get hurt they shut down....but how do you help therm open back up so they have something to give?

First of all, you'll need patience. Then you'll need perseverance. Add an ear that listens, and words that validate and reassure. Va-li-date.

So, if they tell you, "You're going to hurt me in the end" (or some other negative thing like that), you don't tell them, "No! I'm not!" but instead, "I understand that you're wary of me, because you've been hurt in the past by the people you thought you could trust... But my intentions are honest and come from a good place, I have no intention of hurting you in any way" or something along those lines... First you validate how they feel, and then you include a counter-argument that's meant to put them at ease and reassure them at least a little.

Basically, good communication is very, very important... How you say things and the meaning behind the words.

There's a need for acceptance there. If they tell you they feel worthless, validate their feeling. Don't tell them "No, you're not worthless!" because that's the opposite of validation and will only make them feel misunderstood, and they will probably shut down. Of course you shouldn't tell them, "Yes, you are worthless, sorry" (lol) but something like, "I understand you feel worthless, but that's definitely not the way I personally see you." See the nuance?

Hope this makes sense.

Also: stability in general. If you're *there* no matter what, that should be a big plus.
And the ability to not freak out at anything they say or do, haha.

posted August 07, 2014 12:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by usc277:

I was like that when I was a teen.
It heals and you'll become stronger and much more experienced in dealing with your emotions and people's emotional expectations.

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I hope so it's been years now. I deal with them pretty well actually I just don't care to continue with people who've hurt me. I'll talk and be friendly but that's about it.

posted August 07, 2014 02:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Thanks, sweet-scorpion.
-

Gabby, you said:

I understand when ppl get hurt they shut down....but how do you help therm open back up so they have something to give?

First of all, you'll need patience. Then you'll need perseverance. Add an ear that listens, and words that validate and reassure. Va-li-date.

So, if they tell you, "You're going to hurt me in the end" (or some other negative thing like that), you don't tell them, "No! I'm not!" but instead, "I understand that you're wary of me, because you've been hurt in the past by the people you thought you could trust... But my intentions are honest and come from a good place, I have no intention of hurting you in any way" or something along those lines... First you validate how they feel, and then you include a counter-argument that's meant to put them at ease and reassure them at least a little.

Basically, good communication is very, very important... How you say things and the meaning behind the words.

There's a need for acceptance there. If they tell you they feel worthless, validate their feeling. Don't tell them "No, you're not worthless!" because that's the opposite of validation and will only make them feel misunderstood, and they will probably shut down. Of course you shouldn't tell them, "Yes, you are worthless, sorry" (lol) but something like, "I understand you feel worthless, but that's definitely not the way I personally see you." See the nuance?

Hope this makes sense.

Also: stability in general. If you're *there* no matter what, that should be a big plus.
And the ability to not freak out at anything they say or do, haha.

Safety is essential for us to feel truly comfortable and develop trust. And that can take time.

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posted August 07, 2014 04:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gabby:
I'm not drowning in emotions but I have been in the past, and I worked through it....I never became selfish, I was more self destructive and tried to help others before myself. Now I guess I don't like the drama....especially when the ppl care or say they care and don't want you to leave but aren't doing enough to make you feel they care...are they falling apart, playing the person or what's going on in their minds that keeps them from meeting your needs or showing that they really do care? It seems so selfish...what is the point of caring about someone else if your so self absorbed that you can't show it? Ugh!! Sorry! I feel like I'm being so mean, that's not my intention I just want to understand what's going on.

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posted August 07, 2014 05:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Odette:
When water influenced people reach a point where they shut down and no longer care about anyone's emotions - it means that they are already extremely hurt.
It takes them a long while to reach this point and become selfish. It happens because they were so much in the opposite extreme - too selfless - for too long and they are on the verge of a nervous breakdown... so they feel like they need to draw a line - and look after themselves for a change.

This is what Ive noticed anyway.

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True. People that are emotional also get hurt very easily. After a while you have to start looking after yourself because nobody else will do it for you. It's a dog eat dog world,